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monaboyd Jan. 25th, 2007 01:42 pm)Pairing: Monaboyd.
Author:
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rainbowcobwebRating: PG, boringly enough.
Genre: Angst, Domesticity.
Word Count: 570
Disclaimer: As untrue as the Paul is Dead theory.
Feedback: Plz omgz.
Warnings: Character death.
Summary: I should have known that I would miss you every minute of my day. Just you…the way you would run your fingers through your hair so that it stuck up on end, the look in your eyes when you were concentrating and your smile that brightened entire days of mine. I should have known that I would miss your smile.
Notes: Unbeta-ed. I felt it too cruel to send Baby even more stuff to look at, and I also just wanted to stop my fic journal looking as though it was dead. This takes place in an alternate universe of sorts - Billy and Dom were bringing up Jack, and Ali just doesn't feature in this at all. Billy dies. Dom does his best to cope.
I should have known that I would miss you every minute of my day. Just you…the way you would run your fingers through your hair so that it stuck up on end, the look in your eyes when you were concentrating and your smile that brightened entire days of mine. I should have known that I would miss your smile.
I should have known that making dinner or taking Jack to school or even doing the washing would make my heart ache for you. Folding the shirts without yours in the tangled mess of clothes, especially that blue shirt with the little tear in the side, which you refused to throw away, has brought me to my knees in tears. I should have known that going food shopping would make me yearn for you at my side, taking the wrong kind of butter off the shelf. That I would sob out loud doing the dishes. That your seat at the dinner table would never be filled, even if Jack and I invited the world and his wife for tea. I should have known I would miss you even in my daily routine.
I should have known that when I’m running lines with my reflection, or when I pass your guitar in the corner, still on its stand, that a lump would form in my throat. That I can’t watch the news without you shouting obscenities at the politicians; having absolute control of the remote doesn’t hold the same satisfaction as fighting you for it would. I should have known that passing the bookshelf would make me sigh because your copy of Rings sits next to mine. One worn with use, the other, mine, barely flicked through. I should have known that watching films we watched together is impossible. That your voice would jump out at me, making comments about the acting or the camera work, or your invented dialogue coming back to me from the times we muted the film entirely and made it up ourselves.
I should have known that going to sleep alone in the too-big bed would cause me to break down in tears, keeping quiet so Jack doesn’t hear me. I should have known that watching Jack colour at the table by himself would make me stop dead in my tracks and wish for you to come back, stick him on your knees and tell him stories as you both draw. I should have known that having Jack fall asleep at my side would feel as though we’re just two-thirds of a whole. I should have known that helping him with his homework and going to parent’s evening for him and taking part in the father’s race at his sports day would make me feel as though I’m a poor substitute for you. I should have known.
I should have known that catching Jack kiss your picture before he went to sleep would destroy me. I should have known that one day, he’d ask to watch Rings. I should have bought more tissues for that.
I should have known the pain of losing you would be almost unbearable, Bill. You touched the deepest parts of me – heart and soul. I am so grateful for the time I had you in my life. You filled our days with love, laughter and life. I only wish I would have soaked in these memories just a little bit more.
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Thank you ever so much for sharing this.
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Terribly sorry if I brought you to tears. *Smushes to chest and cuddles*
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I'm such a tripper about this, but I'm really into the rhythm and flow of sentences. You did a really nice job of being succinct where it needed to be, and then letting it pour out beautifully in other parts. I hope that made sense.
Anyways, lovely. Just as all your fic is. I can't wait to see you post more!!! :D
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Yeah, in between the Arthurian fic and the-very-long-one-shot (I'm going to have to stop calling it that, I'm getting attached to the title), I've told myself to start working on some other stuff, branching out a bit more. I'm feeling completely inspired by 'I Am A Bird Now' by Antony and the Johnsons, have you heard it? S'wonderful. Anyhoo...
Aw, I couldn't help feeling bad! You've got enough to do at the minute! Thanks for the offer and the constant support, though, I really appreciate it. I just wanted to get something up in
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No, I've never heard of that...is that the same story that inspired part of your Domlijah? I remember the part about the birds in that, but I was thinking that was a poem. I'll shut it now b4 I give anything away.
Naw, don't feel bad, silly. I know I had a bit going on, but I think it's all starting to subside. I'm expecting to get a bunch done tomorrow, and I do believe some editing of a certain person's fic will be in order. ;)
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Editing of my fic? *SQUEE!*
The very-long-one-shot is at 12,000 odd words. I have no idea how it got that out of control. *Slaps muse up a bit*
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Yes, editing of your fic! *bites nails and rushes off to edit as I should have done that day*
No, no! *grabs your wrists* No slapping of the muse, please. *strokes muse*
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Hee, don't worry about it. :)
Lmao. Sorry, muse! *Feeds it chocolate*
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That I can’t watch the news without you shouting obscenities at the politicians; having absolute control of the remote doesn’t hold the same satisfaction as fighting you for it would.
I should have known that watching films we watched together is impossible. That your voice would jump out at me, making comments about the acting or the camera work,
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I tried to get as much of Billy's character in there as possible without making the whole thing soggy with nostalgia, you know? I'm glad it appeared to work!
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wonderful sad.
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Glad you enjoyed, though.