(
pesky-pesky.livejournal.com posting in
monaboyd Apr. 18th, 2005 09:58 pm)
Title: In For a Pound (2 / 2)
Disclaimer: Fiction. Never. Really. Happened. Imadeitallup. All in good fun.
Rating: PG-13, for mild language and snogging
Feedback: Is awesome, in any form. I'm a tough cookie, I can take it.
Author's Notes: Unbeta'ed, again. Consider yourself warned. Also,
ETA: The first part is here
Normally, Billy felt bad for the fans. Herding them through the line like cattle, while certainly the most efficient way to run things, had always struck Billy as slightly impersonal. Today, however, Billy would have leapt at the chance to be in their shoes. They got to leave and he was stuck here, completely surrounded by lunatic hobbits.
Dom, on his right, smushing his face up like a sadistic Cabbage Patch doll and leaning over every thirty seconds to smack his lips against Billy's forehead, cheek, or worst of all the tip of his nose. Elijah, on his left, giggling his damn fool head off. Billy couldn't even imagine how the git was able to sign anything. He was beginning to suspect half of the fans would be going home with the authentic autograph of one Mr. ElijAHAHAHA...woo...woooo...Wood. Googly-headed wanker. Even Sean had not interceded on his behalf. Calm, rational, practical Sean was nochalantly keeping a running total of where Dom's slobbery lips had landed. Family value hobbit, Billy's arse.
Billy didn't even need to check the tally sheet to know that it read Items:0, Billy: about a zillion. Billy was amazed. Didn't any of these nervous jittery girls want Dom to kiss anything of theirs? If not for sentimental value, surely memorabilia like that could fetch a pretty sum on Ebay? Apparently not.
The worst part was Billy knew he only had himself to blame. He'd known Dom long enough to know better. Pranks like these always backfired, but he had never imagined Dom would be able to turn this one around so stupendously.
Evil Dom. Diabolical Dom. Complete, utter bastard Dom.
A third of the way through the line one of the girls presented Dom with a brand new tube of lipgloss.
“Look, Bills, it's purple with sparkly bits in it.”
Great. Passion fruit flavored embarrassment. Thanks.
Halfway through the line Billy finally got his reprieve. The first fan of the day who did not giggle and put two dollars in the now overstuffed jar. So Billy was as shocked as anyone when, rather than expressing gratitude, he opened his mouth and out popped “Didn't want a kiss, then, luv?”
Elijah stared at him. Dom wriggled gleefully. Sean dropped his sharpie.
“I, uh... just didn't have any cash on me.”
Sean reached into his wallet and handed over, not one, but two dollars. Sean Astin was the absolute devil.
Dom leaned over and whispered in his ear, “Love you too, Bills,” punctuated with a loud smack on his cheek. Billy grinned in spite of himself.
And so the day went on, kiss, sign, kiss kiss, sign sign sign, kiss kiss kiss, until finally, finally, the last fan went through the line. The event staffers closed the curtain, eyed eachother warily, and backed out of the room.
Billy stood, stretched, pulled a twenty dollar bill out of his pocket, slapped it down on the table, and tackled Dom to the floor. Dom lay beneath him, perfectly still, looking up with wide unblinking eyes. Billy leaned down and rested his forehead against Dom's.
“Y'know, Dom, if you wanted me to kiss you, all you had to do was ask.”
“But Billy, you started...”
Billy silenced him by covering Dom's lips with his own.
From:
no subject
Sean Astin was the absolute devil.
I like your Sean!
But a Billy and Dom tackle and a kiss? Perfection. :)
From:
no subject
Could it end any other way? I think not.
From:
no subject
That was very cute, yay! :)
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
didn't comment on the first part, so lemme say that dom's twist on the prank made me grin like mad. as i did when billy took the twenty from his wallet. *snicker*
From:
no subject
Totally random aside: I've seen your username around, and every time I think to myself "I wish I was cool like dom." Good choice.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
(And to those of you who read my comment in Sparky's journal - I have absolutely no problem with the idea - it was people starting to make concrete plans that worried me).
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
It's totally okay, I thought the same thing. But, well, plotbunnies. I tried to write it so that it was as much about the interaction between the guys as possible, and without too much of that whole puppetmaster effect. And, also, with humor. I'm glad that you enjoyed it.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
*bounces with glee*
From:
no subject
*bounces with you*
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
This made me all happy. Love it.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
I love that picture of Dom and Billy in sunglasses in your icon. Smut puppets. *snicker*
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
& Sean was downright wicked. I loved him in this fic; now, you know to watch out for the quiet ones. Hee. :)
From:
no subject
From:
no subject
So funny.
From:
no subject
Very cute. I love the idea of Dom planting kiss after kiss on him with poor Billy turning the deepest shades of red. Very sweet.
From:
no subject
From:
no subject