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monaboyd Dec. 21st, 2004 03:35 pm)
springy5000.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Dec. 21st, 2004 03:35 pm)Title: Dom's Answering Machine
Author: Morgan springy5000
Pairing: Dom and Billeh
Rating: PGish
Summary: A series of messages Billy leaves on Dom's answering machine
Disclaimer: IT IS NOT TRUE! Those of you who believe it are blissfully dillusional, and there's nothing I can do for you.
Feedback: I do sexual favors for it?? =P
Author's Note: I wrote this at 4 in the morning as I was contemplating how fun it would be to leave endless messages on my friend's voice mail for her to find when she woke up. Hope you enjoy!
Dominic closed the door behind him as he entered the flat, kicking off his trainers and shedding his coat on a chair. He padded over to the phone and pressed the button on the answering machine.
*BEEP*
Hello Dominic. Billy here. I’m bored stiff, mate. Where the bloody fuck are you? I’m running late but fear not, I’ll be along as soon as the director pulls his head out of his arse and checks his watch. Hope you’re there by the time I get to your place...I’d hate to have to bide my time by hiding the contents of your underwear drawer about the flat. Shite, gotta go, he’s eying me.
*BEEP*
Okay. In the car. I’m popping into the market for a—bastard! Sorry, wanker just cut me off… Listen, I’m bringing over real wine tonight, so don’t go out and buy that filth you bought last week. I didn’t know wine came in boxes with a nozzle, and to tell you the truth I preferred it that way. See you in a few.
*BEEP*
Dommie...I’m in traffic and it’s moving about as fast as...cars...in a traffic jam. I’m stuck for a metaphor. S’about five. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Talk to you then.
*BEEP*
Sloth. Slow as a sloth. That's even got nice alliteration.
*BEEP*
I wonder how many messages I can leave before I fill up the machine...
*BEEP*
Aaall that she wants, is another baby! She’s gone tomorrow but aaall that she wants, is another baby, ye-ah! So if you are in sight and the day is right she’s a hunter you’re the fox. The gentle hmm hm lalala...guh...I don’t know the rest.
*BEEP*
I’m horny. Think a person would get arrested for wanking in a car? Probably... When I get there I’m shagging you senseless. Seriously, where are you?
*BEEP*
If you’re dead I’ll kill you.
*BEEP*
DOOOOOOM! DOMINIC MONAGHAN! Dom?
*BEEP*
I just ran a stop light. Oops. Wasn’t my fault. I was overwrought with worry about whether or not you’re alive.
*BEEP*
Listen to that. Do you hear that? That, my friend, is elevator music. Why is elevator music playing on my radio? I didn’t know such music existed outside the lift. I suppose I just thought it was built into the system. I’m mildly disgusted...yet I have a bizarre urge to get out of the car and do an interpretive dance between vehicles.
*BEEP*
Traffic moving. I’m on my way. Intense shag to commence in ten...nine...
*BEEP*
I love you, by the way.
Dom smiled. He glanced out the window just in time to see a car pull up outside. I love you, too, he thought to himself as he started toward the door to welcome Billy, unbuttoning his shirt as he went.
Author: Morgan springy5000
Pairing: Dom and Billeh
Rating: PGish
Summary: A series of messages Billy leaves on Dom's answering machine
Disclaimer: IT IS NOT TRUE! Those of you who believe it are blissfully dillusional, and there's nothing I can do for you.
Feedback: I do sexual favors for it?? =P
Author's Note: I wrote this at 4 in the morning as I was contemplating how fun it would be to leave endless messages on my friend's voice mail for her to find when she woke up. Hope you enjoy!
Dominic closed the door behind him as he entered the flat, kicking off his trainers and shedding his coat on a chair. He padded over to the phone and pressed the button on the answering machine.
*BEEP*
Hello Dominic. Billy here. I’m bored stiff, mate. Where the bloody fuck are you? I’m running late but fear not, I’ll be along as soon as the director pulls his head out of his arse and checks his watch. Hope you’re there by the time I get to your place...I’d hate to have to bide my time by hiding the contents of your underwear drawer about the flat. Shite, gotta go, he’s eying me.
*BEEP*
Okay. In the car. I’m popping into the market for a—bastard! Sorry, wanker just cut me off… Listen, I’m bringing over real wine tonight, so don’t go out and buy that filth you bought last week. I didn’t know wine came in boxes with a nozzle, and to tell you the truth I preferred it that way. See you in a few.
*BEEP*
Dommie...I’m in traffic and it’s moving about as fast as...cars...in a traffic jam. I’m stuck for a metaphor. S’about five. I’ll be there as soon as I can. Talk to you then.
*BEEP*
Sloth. Slow as a sloth. That's even got nice alliteration.
*BEEP*
I wonder how many messages I can leave before I fill up the machine...
*BEEP*
Aaall that she wants, is another baby! She’s gone tomorrow but aaall that she wants, is another baby, ye-ah! So if you are in sight and the day is right she’s a hunter you’re the fox. The gentle hmm hm lalala...guh...I don’t know the rest.
*BEEP*
I’m horny. Think a person would get arrested for wanking in a car? Probably... When I get there I’m shagging you senseless. Seriously, where are you?
*BEEP*
If you’re dead I’ll kill you.
*BEEP*
DOOOOOOM! DOMINIC MONAGHAN! Dom?
*BEEP*
I just ran a stop light. Oops. Wasn’t my fault. I was overwrought with worry about whether or not you’re alive.
*BEEP*
Listen to that. Do you hear that? That, my friend, is elevator music. Why is elevator music playing on my radio? I didn’t know such music existed outside the lift. I suppose I just thought it was built into the system. I’m mildly disgusted...yet I have a bizarre urge to get out of the car and do an interpretive dance between vehicles.
*BEEP*
Traffic moving. I’m on my way. Intense shag to commence in ten...nine...
*BEEP*
I love you, by the way.
Dom smiled. He glanced out the window just in time to see a car pull up outside. I love you, too, he thought to himself as he started toward the door to welcome Billy, unbuttoning his shirt as he went.
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I love leaving long and annoying messages.
I want a b/f who'd do that. That'd wroc.
Heck, having a b/f would wroc.
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Thanks for reading!
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That was so cute and random.
Nicely done!
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Thanks for reading!
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I really loved how you slipped so easilly from the real "I'll be there in five minutes" kind of message to the "So incredibly Billy and Dom" type message. Lovely stuff.
WRITE MORE OMG PLZKTHX.
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Me loves the icon muchly. *drools and runs away to watch recording of Billy singing*
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I’m mildly disgusted...yet I have a bizarre urge to get out of the car and do an interpretive dance between vehicles.
I laughed so hard at that. Really. Just. Hilarious.
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lovely story!
Icon Love! :-D
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Thanks so much for reading!
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PS - Eeee! I love your icon! It makes me smile.
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I like how Billy phoned back when he'd thought up a good metaphor :)
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*can't control teh ev0l laughter*
LOL! That's bloody cute!!!! And hysterical!!!!!
That's definitely going in my memories, that is.......
XD
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Thank you!
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If you’re dead I’ll kill you.
Hehehe! Top writing :D
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Ahahaha, that amde me laugh so much! Thanks, 'twas lovely!
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Why thank you very much.
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No. Cute is too...frilly...to describe the cool and utter awesomeness that is Billy's talent for leaving sexy/annoying messages on Dom's machine.
*hugs*
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Thank you! I'm glad you like it.
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Glad you enjoyed it!