I apologize for the CrackNess of this. But it's what happens when you get me and Jenn together along with Mt. Dew. Basically it shouldn't happen EVER AGAIN.

Title: In the Garden
Rating: NC-17
Warnings: OMG So AU.
Disclaimer: I don't own them. Not even in AU. Sadly. They are not Mine.
A/N: This was written for [livejournal.com profile] disgruntledjenn who inspires me to write more and more crack. She is my partner in crackish-ficNess. I swear this is all her fault. Also, thanks to [livejournal.com profile] dizzydame who read over parts of it and thought I was insane but thought it read well. I love you.



In the beginning there was darkness. And the Goddess. The Goddess had grown tired of the ever pressing darkness and so, created light. She created a sun and a moon to govern over the light and the dark and appropriated times for each.

She created stars in the dark sky, small pinpricks of light to shine down and twinkle on her. She gazed at her ball of light - her sun - and the small cool rock that shone a cooler light - her moon - and the small twinkling lights - her stars - and sighed.

But she was still not satisfied. She had created light and dark; day and night; but The Goddess was not happy. Something lacked. She sat back and thought and the idea came to her. She gathered her power and created land and water. Trees and mountains; sky and ground; and most importantly - she created Man.

She smiled down at the Man she had created as he lay asleep in the Garden. She was happy; she was proud. She had given him hair like the golden deserts, their shifting sand blowing the breeze that glittered and shone like gold. His eyes reflected the water that rolled and roared; changing from serene and calm to deadly and wicked depending on the Goddess' mood. The Man's eyes likewise predicted his emotions - whether calm and passive or fiery and angry. His skin was caramel, the same colour of the lions - smooth as silk.

The Goddess looked down on the Man and was very happy. "Hello." She said softly to The Man. The Man looked up into the sky, fear in his eyes, not knowing what he was hearing. "I created you, do not fear me." The Man relaxed visibly, laying down on the soft cool grass.

"But what am I?" The Man asked the Goddess.

"You are mine." The Goddess replied, the leaves swaying gently in the breeze of the Goddess' answer.

"But what am I?" The Man pressed on, leaning up and looking at the stream next to him that had just sprung up, the water trickling and rolling against itself laughing.

"You are Man." The Goddess replied once more. The Man nodded at this, his fingers dipping into the cool stream, playing amongst the fish that had begun to arrive.

"And what am I called?" He continued, wanting to Know. The Goddess smiled down at the Man; the man felt a soft warm breeze pick up and the warmth of the sun beat down on him and smiled up at the Goddess.

"You are called Dominic the Man of the Goddess. And you are Mine." Dominic smiled at the Goddess, then turned to look at the stream once more to see an animal drinking out of the stream.

"And what is that?" Dominic pointed towards the animal.

"That is whatever you deem it to be Dominic." The Goddess replied softly, smiling once more down at her Man. Dominic nodded and answered.

"It shall be known as Wolf."

"And so it shall." The Goddess replied. Dominic smiled up at the Goddess and slowly closed his eyes and slept in the warm sunshine. The Goddess continued to look down at the Man and the World he was in and smiled. She was happy.

Dominic woke up later when it had grown cooler but it did not make him feel cold. "What is this Goddess?" He asked as the warm light had gone.

"This Dominic is called night and it is dark. You Dominic were created in the image of the Day and of the Sun." Dominic nodded and looked up at the Moon.

"And O, Goddess, where am I?" He asked softly as he watched the Wolf and it's mate run amongst the woods.

"You, O Dominic Mine are in my Garden. The Garden of Lorien." The Goddess replied and Dominic heard the stream gurgle and laugh.

"Thank you Goddess." Dominic replied as he watched a monkey and it's mate tumble through the trees.

"Go to sleep Dominic." The Goddess replied and Dominic laid back down on the nice springy grass and fell asleep. Time went on like that, the light fading into the darkness fading back into the warm light. Dominic continued to name all of the animals he ran into: horse, lion, elephant, and so on. And the Goddess was happy.

But Dominic looked at all the animals and he had begun to grow sad. The Goddess sensed a problem and asked, "What is wrong is wrong Dominic? Why have you grown sad?" The leaves on the Oak began to droop slightly and the laughter of the brook quieted.

"O Goddess, I am sad because I look around and all the animals have a mate to talk to. And I have no one beside here with me. No one to curl up against and no one to help me with the naming." The Goddess smiled her soft smile down at Dominic and the trees began to wave once more and the brook laughed heartily.

"Oh Dominic, go to sleep." She smiled and Dominic laid down once more, his head pillowed against one of the Wolves, and he slept. When Dominic awoke a time later he felt a small pressure on his side, he looked down and saw someone like him sleeping, curled up next to him.

"Who is this?" Dominic asked the Goddess upon seeing the Man next to him.

"This is Billy. And he is Yours." The Goddess smiled fondly on her two Men. Dominic smiled lovingly down at the sleeping Man and the Goddess heart was warmed, she left the two to get acquainted with each other, not wanting to intrude on them. And the Goddess was happy.

Dominic smiled down at Billy and ran his fingers through the Mans hair. It was soft and was the colour of the Red Fox that scampered and played through the woods at night. His skin was lighter brown than Dominic's and was as smooth as the Moonstones that resided at the bottom of the stream. Dominic looked down and saw that the Mans eyes had opened and Dominic breathed out a happy sigh - his eyes were the dark green of the cool dark forest. Dominic loved the forest.

"Billy." Dominic said happily, running his fingers along Billy's cheekbones and along the red that tinged his cheeks.

"Dominic." Billy answered understanding who Dominic was, for the Goddess had given him Knowledge. Dominic smiled and bent his head, softly capturing Billy's lips in a sweet kiss for the Goddess had told Dominic and Billy of this and of other things as well.

Dominic smiled softly at Billy and softly pulled the Man on top of him - he wrapped his arms around Billy's waist and pulled him closer, rubbing their bodies together - sparks erupting wherever Billy's skin touched Dominic's.

Dominic smiled and kissed Billy once more, his tongue running softly - reverently along Billy's lips. Billy's mouth opened obediently to Dominic's gentle quiet question and Dominic deepened the kiss, lapping softly at Billy's tongue before pulling it into Dominic's mouth, slowly applying pressure, sucking on it.

Dominic's legs wrapped around Billy's pulling him closer into him, rubbing his lower half against Billy's. And Billy whimpered. Dominic drank in the sound - loving the noise come out of his lover. He silently asked his Billy for more, sucking on Billy's tongue with greater relish as his hands skittered along Billy's soft backside. And Billy obliged, moaning loudly in his intoxicating, lilting voice that Dominic had come to love already. "Oh Dominic that feels so good. Oh, right there." Dominic grinned and did it again.

Billy pulled Dominic's arms up and pinned them above his head, holding his Dominic captive while Billy began to dip his head and explore his Man's body. Billy kissed Dominic's swollen lips and moved to bite at the pulse point on his neck. Dominic arched up into Billy, rubbing his swollen erection into Billy's, gasping for breath. "Oh Goddess Billy, that feels so good." Billy smiled against Dominic's neck and continued with his exploration.

He dipped his head lower and lapped at Dominic's right nipple, licking it slowly before taking it in his mouth and sucking lightly on it - biting down experimentally to see what his lover would do. Dominic arched and writhed beneath him and Billy found he rather liked that. "Dear Goddess Billy, that feels so good. Holy fuck..." Dominic murmured, offering up praise to his lover. Billy continued his attack on Dom's nipples as he moved to Dominic's left one and gave it the same attention the right one received, biting down just a bit harder, having Dominic let out a loud moan and arch further up into him. Billy moaned along with Dominic as he felt Dominic's hard erection push harder against his own.

Billy made quick on Dominic's belly, running his tongue down in between the individual rib bones, causing Dominic to squirm. "It tickles Billy - but ohdon'tstopplease. It feels to good."

"Don't worry trust me." Billy answered and continued on his trip down.

"I do. I trust you...OhmyGoddess!" Dom cried out as Billy bite down on Dominic's hip bone, causing a bruise to flourish. Billy smiled at his lover, "Like it when I bite than?"

Dominic nodded, mouth dry, "Yes... yes Oh I do. IdoIdoIdo..." Dominic trailed off into a low moan as Billy continued farther down.

Billy got down to Dominic's aching and weeping cock standing proudly out against Dominic's tan stomach - all silk to the touch and coloured a deep reddish purple; the tip weeping. Billy let his tongue dart out and taste his lover, flicking his tonuge lightly over the pre-cum that had dribbled out of the top of Dominic's cock.

Dominic let out a strangled yell, his hips bucked up towards Billy and he moaned. "Please Billy, do that again. Oh Goddess that felt - fuck it all that felt so good. Do it again Billy. Put your mouth back onto my cock - please.." Dominic's plea ended in a whimper as his lover did as he asked and let his mouth slide over Dominic's silky cock.

Billy's tongue lapped at the tip as his mouth moved up and back on Dominic's enlarged cock; Billy hummed his appreciation causing a strangled moan to escape Dominic's lips as he bucked up into his Billy's hot sweet mouth. Billy let Dominic push into his mouth, letting Dominic fuck his mouth - quite happy to just bring this pleasure to his lover.

Dominic continued to thrust into his Billy's hot mouth, before pushing all the way and Billy pushed his hips to the ground. Billy moved quickly, taking Dominic all the way in - causing Dominic's cock to begin to slide down the back of Billy's throat. Dominic groaned loudly as Billy continued to bob up and down on Dominic, taking him all the way in. "Oh Goddess - I'm - I'm - I'm gonna come... " Dominic warned but his lover didn't stop, but kept going. "I'mcomingI'mcomingI'mcoming." Dominic groaned loudly as he spent himself in his Billy's mouth. Billy continued sucking on Dominic, swallowing the hot come down gladly; Billy gently let Dominic's cock fall out of his mouth as it softened, licking it clean gently - sending aftershocks all up and down Dominic's body.

Dominic moaned and felt a new sensation as Billy's fingers began to gently massage his opening. Dom dropped his head back onto the grass, moaning louder when he felt one of Billy's long slender fingers enter into him. "You taste so good Dominic.... Make me need to fuck you.." Billy murmured, his green eyes boring into Dominic's sea blue ones. Dominic moaned louder at Billy's words.

Billy was rock hard, his cock bobbing in the air in front of him - jerking at each moan that dropped from Dominic's mouth. "Yes Billy, yes. Fuck me please." Billy moaned and Dominic pressed into the two fingers that were in him.

Billy quickly pulled his fingers out and pushed his cock into Dominic, feeling the tight ring of muscle tense and then give way, Billy sliding all the way into his lover. Billy pushed softly, experimentally, and Dominic cried out in pleasure. "Oh dear Goddess do it again Billy. Goddess again! Harder Billy. Harder!! Faster!!"

Billy bent his head and took Dominic's mouth in his own and kissed him - a kiss full of promise and love and Dominic moaned into it as Billy pulled out so just the tip of his cock remained in Dominic. He quickly thrust it in as hard and as fast as he could, once, twice, three times - exactly as how Dominic has asked for.

Dominic screamed and the muscles around Billy clenched and he knew that he was Near. "Oh Dominic, you feel so very good." Billy moaned and then he came inside Dominic, his lovers name on his lips.

Billy feel boneless and sated on top of Dominic, nestling his head underneath Dominic's chin, purring happily as Dominic arms wrapped around him and held him close. "I love you." Dominic stated, purring it into Billy's ear.

"And I love you." Billy purred happily. And they both smiled at each other for they had named It. They both closed their eyes and drifted into a soft and happy sleep, warmed by the sun and the afterglow that still hung onto them. And the Goddess looked down and was happy.

The days passed like this in the Garden of Lorien, Billy and Dominic loved each other and they loved the Goddess - and she loved them and deleighted in their love. Billy and Dominic spent their time with making love and naming animals and plants and trees, moving throughout the Garden to visit places that neither had imagined - a place where the land underneath your feet shifts and moves as easily as water and out in front of you the biggest spanse of water ever seen. "Sand." Dominic named, sitting down to play with the golden-red flecks of stone that seemed to match his Billy's hair. "Ocean." Billy answered, running to play in the water that exactly matched his Dominic's eyes.

Dominic walked up behind Billy and wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tightly into Dominic. Billy turned his head slightly and kissed Dominic softly and Dominic responded happily.

Though the two Men traveled all over the Goddess' Garden, they always came back to the first place they had made Love - making it their home. A tall, tall Oak tree provided the two Men shelter and food as it bore the best Fruit in all of the Garden. Beside the Tree the same brook that Dominic had seen when he first was Made still gurgled and laughed - running playfully by.

It happened one day that Dominic had taken to having a late afternoon rest while Billy went off to find more food. Dominic rested against the tree and watched two lion cubs tumble and play with each other - wrestling and biting in simulation of battle. Dominic smiled.

Out of the corner of his eye Dominic saw an animal he had not Named nor ever seen come slinking up to him. "Hello Animal, I am Dominic of the Goddess." Dominic addressed the animal, looking over it's long slender body and short stubby legs that could not do much in getting him far from predators.

"Hello Dominic, I am known as Snake." The Snake answered walking closer to Dominic and curling up in Dominic's lap. "Tell me Dominic of the Goddess, are you happy here?"

Dominic started at the question from the Snake, he had not thought of not being anything but happy here in the Goddess' Garden, what with her warm sun shinning down on him, her food feeding him and his Billy here for him to love. "Of course I am happy here." Dominic answered and petted the Snakes hairless head.

"But of course you are happy here, you Know not of anything else." The Snake answered, the S's in her speech hissing slightly.

"i don't understand what you mean." Dominic had grown curious of what the Snake meant and continued to prod her further.

"This is the only thing you Know so of course your happy." And against his initial thought, Dominic continued on.

"Well, what else is there to Know?" The brook beside Dominic ceased to laugh quite so joyfully and quite so loudly - but Dominic didn't notice.

"Your Goddess, you think she gives you everything you need - but she is wrong."

"She gives me food and water and shelter. And she gave me Billy, whom I love with all of my heart. All of this I Know."

"Ahh but she was wrong in giving you Billy. You do not Need Billy. He is wrong for you." Dominic stared at the Snake in his lap, unable to comprehend this. He loved his Billy and his Billy loved him, of course they were right for each other. "This is what you need My Love." The Snake slithered off of Dominic and spat into the ground. The dust whirled itself around and slowly took shape - into a Man.

"What is this Snake?" Dominic asked in fear as he continued to look at this new Man that stood in front of him. The man had alabaster skin, hair as dark as the raven and eyes that reflected the sky at its happiest point.

"This is Elijah - and He is what you Need." The Snake quickly walked away and Dominic stared at this new Man. Indeed he was beautiful. Elijah's arms went around Dominic's and he pulled Dominic into him and kissed him. Dominic leaned into the kiss, feeling it coarse through him, but wait. But something was wrong. He didn't feel right, and Dominic could no longer hear the brook, or feel the warmth of the sun. He looked up and saw the sky a dark grey colour, clouds tumbling over each other angrily. And Dominic trembled in fear.

"Do not Fear it Dominic. For I am what is Right." The Man's soft voice said to Dominic but he paid no attention, but continued to stare up into the sky.

"Dominic. Dominic, come forth to me. Why are you hiding from me Dominic?" The Goddess voice was not Warmth and was not Soothing and Dominic fell to the ground weeping like a child. Elijah quickly slunk away at the Goddess' voice - fearing it. The Goddess continued, "What have you done with Billy Dominic? For he is yours and you must look after him. What has happened to Billy Dominic?"

"Do not hate me Goddess - for I did not Know." Dominic bowed his head as he felt the first drops of Rain fall on him. The Goddess was crying, she was not happy.

"Oh Dominic," A soft touch to Dominic's brow and he looked up and saw Billy standing there - fear in his eyes. Dominic looked up into Billy's eyes and quickly pulled him into him, crawling into his lap and crying. And Billy held onto him tightly and rocked him. And to Dominic, this felt right.

Dominic looked up once more to tell Billy of what had happened but Billy put a finger to his lips, silencing him. "I already Know." He whispered. And Dominic shivered and felt awful, trying to climb away from Billy, but Billy held onto him and would not let him leave.

The rain slowly ceased and Dominic stopped his crying, Billy kissing away each tear that fell from his eyes before slowly capturing Dominic's lips into a more passionate kiss. And this one, this felt right. The sun slowly came back out and Dominic felt the warmth spread through him again. he quickly scrambled up and looked up into the sky.

"Forgive me Goddess for I was confused and did not Know." He answered once more, Billy's arms going around Dominic's waist, hugging him and giving him strength.

"Oh Dominic Mine, do you think I would give you anything that would not make you happy? You are Mine Dominic. I made you. I know what is best for you." The Goddess answered softly.

"I Know Goddess I Know. I was wrong to think that you would do anything against me. I am sorry." Dominic hugged Billy's arms, pulling him in tighter. And the Goddess smiled, for she was happy once more.

"Snake. Snake come out so that I may see you." The Goddess' voice boomed down, looking for the Snake. It quickly came slinking out from behind the Tree quickly followed by Elijah. "Snake I gave you no authorization to be here. You are not allowed to stay here. You are banished from my Garden and henceforth all of your descendants must slither on the ground, you do not deserve to walk on my Garden." The Snake trembled at the Goddess' voice and at the end she bowed her head before she vanished entirely.

"And Elijah..." The Goddess continued, but her voice was imminently softer. "You were created from my Earth and my Ground and so, you are one of Mine as well. But we can't have yo being lonely." Dominic smiled at Billy and hugged him as they looked up and watched a wind blow as clouds swirled together and came lower. Elijah trembled in fear, not knowing the Goddess' kindness.

"Do not Fear her Elijah. She does not Hate you." Billy answered softly, a quick touch to Elijah's arm to steady him. The clouds swirled tighter and then one other Man stood in front of Elijah.

"This is Sean. He will care and look after you Elijah-Mine." The Goddess said softly and Elijah smiled up at the Goddess, moved by her kindness. Elijah looked at the Man in front of him and his smile grew. "Sean." He asked.

"Elijah." The Man answered and scooped Elijah up into a large hug. Billy and Dominic smiled at each other as Dominic leaned in and kissed Billy, pulling his tongue into Dominic's mouth, to which Billy replied eagerly and brought his hand up to cup the back of Dominic's head as he deepened the kiss. And the Goddess was happy.

From: [identity profile] cool-like-dom.livejournal.com


oh, man. incredibly cracked. but entertaining. :P *pins on gold star*

From: [identity profile] dizzydame.livejournal.com


*reads it again and giggles*

You girls are so silly. This is hilarious.

BWAHAHA I KNOW WHO THE SNAKE REALLY IS

From: [identity profile] framianne.livejournal.com


::memorizes::

This is priceless! Now I have proof that Monaboyd and Seanlijah are the Goddess' will, as I always thought.. :)

"OhMyGoddess", btw, is wonderful.

OhGodGoddess, I laughed so hard I still have tears in my eyes...

::loves the slashy Goddess::

Great crack! :D

From: [identity profile] chimerablack.livejournal.com


Being as crack-y as it was, I actually liked it! It's very...I don't know. All I know is that I liked it. :D

From: [identity profile] crsty1961.livejournal.com


Now that was interesting, but I liked it!! Thanks. :)

From: [identity profile] lady-tavington.livejournal.com


This is so...precious. I was laughing coz I was totally enjoying it. I love the whole Goddess and "I Made you, thus you are Mine" thing. It's coooooooooool. I loved it, it made for a real good laugh, not to mention the really good smutfest in the middle of the fic.

I TOTALLY WASN'T EXPECTING THE ELIJAH THING. At the part where it said the Snake gave Dominic another man, I was like, "Oh God no...::LAUGHING::...Jesus, please..." And then it was Elijah and I was like, "BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" I loved it! I totally do! It was great! Nice job here! Vanilla Ice Cream for youuuuuuuu!

Luv, Peace and Imaginary Peanut Butter,
~Marciana
.