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monaboyd Jan. 31st, 2004 08:21 pm)
aduialelin.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Jan. 31st, 2004 08:21 pm)Broken Pavement 1/4
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autumnlecroix
Monaboyd
Rated R
Disclaimer: I intend no harm to any of the actors mentioned within this story. I don't know them, and I don't know anything about this. This is purely fiction and I am making no profit from this.
Summary: The laughs and hardships Dom and Billy face as friends, morphing into something more. The challenges they face trying to cope with what their relationship is changing in to.
~~Each part is a mini story that is part of the whole mapping the journey that two friends make.
Author's notes: This story is completed. It's rather long, hence why I broke it up into 4 parts.
Things usually just happen. There’s really no explination or reasons as to why, but there are always distinct events or lead up to situations that are constantly over-analyzed and scrutinized. Then again, maybe that’s just the process of life and how we live it. Either way, neither Billy or Dominic were prepaired for what was going to happen in their life, or in their friendship for that matter. But that’s what friendship is, isn’t it? Taking the tasks of life and handling them together? So, if that’s friendship, then what is love?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*tick tick tick*
Billy sat hunched over a table in a dimly lit room desperately scanning his script again and again trying to prepare himself for a flawless performance the next day. He had jumbled up his lines too many times today to want a repeat performance tomorrow. Exhausted and weary, he lifted his eyes out of the scene he was immersed in and glanced at the clock.
2:31am
His body almost collapsed at the thought that he needed to wake up in 2 hours to head over to make-up and feet. But he couldn’t stop—not yet. He had to be ready. Needed to be ready. He rubbed his eyes furiously and tried to readjust them back to the small font on the script page but nothing would come into focus anymore.
He needed to stop doing this. Staying up until soddin’ two am studying the bloody script for the next day’s shots. He wasn’t in college anymore and his body was already screaming agony at him for exerting it the way he was with his active filming schedule. He was wearing himself down, and fast.
What he wouldn’t give to be 21 again.
Or 22 like Dom, but that’s really neither here nor there.
Giving into his body’s pleas, Billy wondered up the stairs to the bathroom. He stood infront of the mirror and pressed his palms into the counter. He looked at his reflection and sighed. Black circles were etched under his eyes and greasy tufts of hair jetted out in all directions. His face was sunken in and his skin was unusually pale and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring his eyes into focus.
This needed to stop. Opening the medicine cabinat hidden behind the mirror, Billy grabbed for the bottle of sleeping pills hidden in the corner. Clumsily fumbling with the bottle, he opened it and spilled two of the blue gel tabs into his palm and quickly popped them into his mouth, chasing them down with luke warm water.
Practically dying in his bed, he wasted no time before succumbing to the sleep that was vastly attacking his body.
~~~~~~~~
“BILL!!! WAKE UP!!!”
Billy woke up the next morning (or rather, a few hours later) with his body being shaken back and forth from Dom’s hands. Sleep still clutching tightly to his body, Billy rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the person in his bedroom. “Wha…” he rubbed his head and looked around his room trying to find the clock, “what time is it?”
“It’s 5:15, and we’re 15 minutes late to feet.” Dom said rather curtly, frowning at his friend.
“Shite.” Billy said, his voice still heavy from his restless night. “I’m sorry, mate. I’ll be ready in a flash.” Billy rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom.
“Billy, you’re still in yesterday’s clothing. Are you okay? Were you able to get much sleep last night?” Billy looked at his friends worried face through his reflection in the mirror and attempted a half smile.
“I guess I got caught up in my script. I stayed up studying it last night.” He opened the mirror again and looked inside the familiar medicine cabinet, grabbing a bright yellow bottle. Not noticing the wary glance from Dom, Billy spilled two of the white tablets into his palm and popped them into his mouth.
“What the fuck are those?” Dom asked, making a reach for the bottle.
Getting defensive, Billy pulled them back quickly and shoved them back into their place on the shelf. “Aspirin. I’ve got a killer headache this morning.”
Not believing him, but not willing to waste anymore time and press the matter further, Dom nodded and started heading out to the car. “Yah, whatever. Well, let’s get going. I have a cup of coffee ready for you in the car.”
Billy followed Dom and hopped into the passenger side of the car and grabbed the cup quickly and took a deep drink, savoring the velvet liquid sliding down his tired throat. But the pills should be kicking in soon…he should wake up any minute. That’s the way it normally worked.
~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time filming wrapped for the day, Billy’s body was aching and sore. His eyes were blurry and his head throbbed from lack of sleep. It was 9pm before Dom dropped him off infront of his flat. They exchanged quick goodbyes, and he promised to wake up on time the next morning so Dom didn’t have to wake him up again.
Shooting had gone really well that day, aside from the fact that Billy’s caffine pills wore off around 2pm. But he remembered all his lines and only messed up twice. His hard work was most deffiently rewarded.
So Billy trudged up the familiar steps to his flat, and walked dirrectly to the bathroom to pop two more caffine pills to begin the familiar nightly ritual that his body vehnimently detested.
*tick tick tick*
It was 3am by the time Billy’s eyes gave out this time. He rubbed his tired pupils and trudged up to the bathroom to take the sleeping pills to counteract the caffine pills he had taken earlier.
This time he set two alarms so he would for sure wake up on time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time two weeks passed, Billy’s body began to physically give out. His face had noticably sunk in, his eyes were hollow and lifeless, and even his friends began to notice his tired demenor. Whenever one of them would mention how tired Billy looked, he would shrug it off, laugh, making a silly comment about Peter and his work horse schedule, and quietly slip into the bathroom and take two caffine pills to “perk himself back up”. Dom had pulled him aside privately a couple of times and asked him what was really going on, but Billy just laughed that one off as well, and blamed poor sleeping conditions.
How little Dom realized how true Billy’s statement really was.
They had gone 8 days without a day off, and Billy desperately relied on that one day off to replenish his body’s energy levels from his lack of sleep between days off. Sitting at that familiar table with that familiar too-dim light, Billy began another night of restless script studying. He kept telling himself that he only needed to get through one more day until Peter was giving the cast 2 days off to rest and relax.
One more day.
Shortly into Billy’s study session, the phone rang jarring his concentration.
“’Ello?”
“Hey. Can’t sleep, and knowing you slightly better than you know yourself, I knew you were up too. Am bored and inviting self over. See you in a few.” And before Billy could protest or disagree, Dom had hung up the phone.
Billy didn’t want this. Dom didn’t factor into Billy’s night of script research. He looked at the wallclock, and read 10:41pm. He groaned loudly and walked to the fridge and pulled out a cold beer and returned to the small table and returned to reading his script while waiting for Dom to arrive.
~~~~~~~~
After ten minutes, the door slowly creeked open, and Dominic’s head popped around the corner of the door. “I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in. I saw your kitchen lights on and figured you were busy.”
Billy looked up from his script and nodded at Dom’s arrival. “Cold beer in the fridge. Help yourself.” Dom walked fully into the small flat and shut the door behind him.
“Cool. Thanks.” He walked over to the table. “You’re looking at the script?” He grinned. “Wasn’t looking at it all day today enough for you?” Dom snatched the script away from Billy’s hands and examined it closer.
“Give that back!” Billy snatched it back. He frowned at him. “It’s not like you don’t have your own copy, and besides, it’s not like it wouldn’t hurt you a bit to examine it a bit yourself before tomorrow’s shoot.” Billy held the script safely in his arms, but then realized how odd he must have looked.
The smile faded off of Dom’s face as he turned to the fridge and grabbed a beer. “You’re starting to worry me a bit, Bill. You almost looked like gollum there for a sec with the script.”
Billy started laughing. “Aye, I suppose I did. I’m sorry.” He took a long swig of his beer. “Sorry, mate. I’m just a little stressed and tired. I’m not totally ready for the scene we’re doing tomorrow, so I was just taking a few minutes before I went to bed to glance at it.”
Dom didn’t return Billy’s laughter or smile. Instead he looked at him and frowned slightly. “Billy, I think you’re working too hard. You need to go slower. Knowing the script cover to cover isn’t the be all end all. Peter understands if you don’t know some passages. NONE of us are required to have it all memorized. We’re just supposed to have it down enough to work with.”
Billy looked at Dom and then at his script again. “Aye, I suppose you’re right. I’ll put it down for the night. Shall we see what’s playing?” Dom nodded and Billy shoved the script across the table away from him. He stood up and moved into the living area. Dom followed suit.
“You get the tele started and find something decent to watch. I need to go to the bathroom and relieve my little soldiar.” Billy raised his eyebrow at Dom’s “little soldiar” comment and smiled.
“Sure, go right ahead. I’ll have a cold beer waiting for you when you get back.” Billy called to Dom’s retreating back.
It had been 15 minutes and Dom still hadn’t returned from the bathroom. Billy looked at the clock and wondered what happened to his friend. Not really watching the tele anyway, he walked down the hall to the bathroom and gently rapped at the closed door.
The door wasn’t shut entirely, so it gently brushed open revealing Dom hunched on the bathroom, pants up, stairing at two bottles in his hands. Billy’s heart quickly picked up when he realized that Dom must be assuming the worst. He opened his mouth to try and spit out an explination, but found that no words would come out.
Dom heaved a sigh and tore his eyes from the bottles in his hand to look at Billy. They were glossy and filled with unshed tears. “You need help, Bill.”
“No, it’s not what it looks like, trust me.” He attempted a weak laugh. “I know that must look bad, two empty bottles in the garbage—“
“And two fresh ones in your cabinant.” Dom cut in curtly.
“Well, they ran out! And see, sometimes I have a difficult time falling asleep, so I take a sleeping pill to help me sleep. And in the morning, the caffine pills are a great way to get your body going. It’s like a cup of coffee, only a little stronger. I only take them to perk myself up in the morning.” Billy rushed his words out, but found that he had neither convinced Dom nor himself.
Dom threw the empty bottles back in the garbage and stood up. He brushed past Billy, who was standing in the doorway, and walked down the hall. “I gotta go, Bill. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Dom! Wait!” Billy called after his friend as he started to walk out the main door. “Will you just wait a second and let me explain? It’s not what it looks like.” Billy rushed to the door and Dom just stood there, looking at him. Judging him. Scrutinizing him.
Dom held up his hand and silenced Billy without saying a word at all. He opened his mouth to say something, then thoughtfully shut it again and paused. “I think…” He took a deep breath. “I think that I need to think some things through before I talk to you about this. You need help, Billy, and right now I’m really hurt that you’ve been lying to me for the past few weeks. I’m going to go, get some sleep, and we’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay?”
Billy could only nod. Dom’s eyes were unreadable and his body was tense. He walked down the stairs and got into his car, and drove away. Billy still stood in the open doorway watching the street long after Dom’s car had vanished from viewpoint. Giving in, he heaved a sigh and turned around. He walked into the house and looked around. Two full bottles of beer sat in on his coffee table with the tele flickering silently in the background. Dim light spilled out of his kitchen as the culprit script lie innocently on the table.
Anger, hurt, and sadness surged through his body. He wanted to feel anything except the guilt that he knew had caused this situation. He stormed into the kitchen, snatched the script up off the table, and hurled it across the kitchen, pages fluttering everywhere.
Billy pulled at his hair and started screaming, “I HATE YOU!” at the script, as if it knew that it was responsible for what had transpired. Billy stomped over to the lifeless booklet lying haphazardly on the floor and picked it up. He griped it with both his hands and used all his strength to tear it to pieces.
Tattered pieces of script fluttered to the floor like snow as Billy sank down to the floor and sobbed. He made no sound, but his body shook with hollow tears that refused to stop their gentle assult down his face.
Suddenly, the one emotion that he had been avoiding, silently set in. The guilt that he had been avoiding finally made it’s presence known. Billy lifted his head from his knees and forced his blurry eyes to focus on the clock.
It was 12:00 am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The black night faded into dawn as Dom sat on a bench in the park not too far from his flat. Hours of beating his poor mind to death, replaying the night over and over caused him to finally conceed to sitting numbly, dead to the world.
He sat that way for hours, until his watch startled him out of his silent revrie. He looked down at the small face and saw it flashing 4:30. He groaned audibly and stood up stretching. He rubbed head and scratched at the stubble that was growing on his chin.
Not sure whether he should go straight to feet, or go back to Billy’s flat, Dom decided on simply getting into his car and letting his hands guide him.
They guided him to two brightly glowing golden arches. A 24 hr McDonalds—treasure to someone who hasn’t eaten in a dozen hours. Dom pulled into the drive thru and looked at the menu.
“Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?” Spat a lifeless drab voice over the intercom.
“Uh, can you hang on a second?” Dom replied. “Not quite sure what I want yet.
“Would you like to try our special menu #1? It comes with an Egg Mc—“ Answered the voice.
“No. I want to look for a minute. Can you just chill?” Dom cut in curtly.
“How about our hot flapjacks, with 2—“
“Oh for fucks sake, just give me 2 number #3’s, both with an extra large coffee.” Dom spat at the voice box.
“Will that be all for you this morning?”
“YES!”
“Please pull up to the second window.”
Without saying thank you, Dom idled up to the window he was directed to and handed a wad of cash to the window atendee. When handed his sacks and cups of coffee, he simply drove away leaving the cashire stairing oddly at him speeding away holding Dom’s change in his hand.
Dom was thinking, but he didn’t want to think. He just wanted to drive to Billy’s, pick him up, and get through the day. All he had to do was get through the day and he’d be scot free for a couple days of rest. The pun of course, not intended.
He didn’t know what to expect when he turned into Billy’s driveway and still saw his kitchen light on. He had no clue what Billy did after he had left him last night. A surge of guilt pulsed through his body at simply leaving Billy the way he had, but he didn’t know what else to do. What does one do when they find out that their best friend has a substance abuse problem?
Dom shook the thoughts out of his head as he trudged up the steps to Billy’s main door, food and drinks in hand. His brow furrowed deeply when he saw that the door was ajar, light spilling out of the interior unto the front stoop. Dom knocked as hard as he could with his knuckle without spilling the coffee and food he was juggling. Billy didn’t come to the door, but his knocking caused it to open further. Taking the initiative, Dom stepped in and took a look around.
He noticed the torn of shreds of paper covering the floor and stepped further into the kitchen. His heart stopped when he saw his friend curled up in the corner of the kitchen surrounded by the paper. He didn’t know if he was alive or dead. He raced into the kitchen, set the food and drink on the table, and leaned down next to his friend.
“Billy! Billy! Wake up, mate!” Dom put his hands on Billy’s shoulders and began shaking him lightly. “Come on, man, wake up!!”
Billy groaned loudly and lifted one of his sleepy eyelids up and attempted to focus on who was infront of him. “Dom?” his voice uttered through sleep rattled consciousness.
“Oh thank god.” He signed in relief. He slumped down to the floor and hugged his friend tightly. “I walked into your flat and saw you on the floor surrounded by….what the fuck are you surrounded by anyway?” He picked up one of the small flecks of paper and examined it closer. “Torn script? Anyway, I saw you, and I, and I, I just, god I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”
Dom held onto his friend as though he would dissappear if he let go. He burried his face in Billy’s shirt and refused to move. Not really knowing what to do with his broken friend, Billy silently stroked Dom’s back and whispered silent confirmations that everything was okay in his ear. “Please don’t be sorry, Dommie. You didn’t do anything. Infact, if anything, you helped me. You made me see that I do have a problem.” Billy got quiet and suddenly meloncholy. “I feel like I let you down as a friend.” He uttered, barely audible.
Dom pulled away from Billy and looked at him through glossy eyes. Wetness dampened his cheeks, and his eyes were puffy and red. He shook his head slowly and looked down at the floor. “No, you didn’t let me down. If anything, I let you down. I knew something was wrong but instead of pressing the matter further, when you gave me those half-assed answers to me, I just accepted them. I didn’t bother to try and look beneath the surface like I should have.” He caused, and silent tears began to run down his face again. “I shouldn’t have left you last night. I shouldn’t have walked out on you.” He closed his eyes tightly and embraced Billy again.
Nothing more was said and neither one of them moved for quite some time. The only thing that caused them to move was the sound of both their cell phones going off at the same time. They untangled themselves from each other and reached for their alarming phones. Billy glanced up at the clock and groaned loudly. “It’s 6am. It’s probably them calling asking where the fuck we are.”
Dom nodded, and flipped his phone open to answer it; Billy mimicking his actions. They both muttered appologies and promises that they’d be there in just a couple minutes, hung up their phones and looked at each other. Suddenly Billy broke out into a bellowing laugh, rocking back and forth. Shocked at Billy’s sudden burst of emotion, Dom arched his eyebrow and looked at him oddly.
“Bill, mate, I think you’ve finally gone off the deep end.” Dom moved to get up, offering his hand to help Bill get up as well.
“Well, yes, but no.” He said between laughs. “Think about it for a moment, Dommie. Think of how bad this will look. We’re both stumbling into feet an hour late, looking very ruffled and tired, wearing yesterday’s clothing? It’s gunna look bad, mate.” And Billy laughed some more. Finally understanding what Billy was alluding to, Dom started laughing as well.
“I suppose you’re right. It does look rather suspicious.” He smirkingly raised his eyebrow. “And who, my friend, shall we say was on top?” His grin was wide and devilish.
Billy stopped laughing and looked at Dom through widened eyes. Without letting too much time pass to reveal how shocked Billy really was by Dom’s comment, he simply covered his face up with a grin matching Dom’s challenge and said, “Well I was, of course.”
“Ooh, cheeky!” Dom walked into the living room and grabbed the forgotten McDonald’s off the coffee table and handed half to Billy. “It’s a little cold, but it’s better than nothing. Let’s head out before we’re in even hotter water.”
Billy smiled and followed Dom out of the house to his car. They drove to feet in mostly silence, but finally Dom spoke up. “You know we’re not finished,” he stopped at a red light and turned to look at Billy, “right?”
Billy turned his eyes away from Dom and down cast them to the grey road ahead. He nodded solumnly. “Yeah. I know.”
Dom took a deep sigh and started forward again as the light turned green. “Listen, I’m not out to be an enemy. I’m only worried because I care. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Dom, it’s okay. I know.” Billy cut in, not really wanting to hear Dom finish. Another long silence filled up the small car. “Dom, would it be all right if,” he paused, chewing his bottom lip, “if you didn’t tell anyone else about, um, you know. My problem?”
Dom’s knuckles on the wheel tightened slightly and crested white. “Yah.” He said curtly. “Our little secret.”
Dom whipped the car around to turn into the parking lot, causing both of the car’s passengers to shift to the right in the car. “Who needs caffine pills to wake up in the morning when I’ve got your driving?” Billy jested. Dom only tightened his lips and gave Billy a stern frown. “Hey! I was just kidding!” Billy said defensivly, when his joke was lost upon his friend. “You know me. I’m always trying to make light out of situations.”
Dom turned his head to Billy. “It wasn’t funny and neither is your little problem. This is serious, Bill. Why are you trying to make this into some joke?”
Because I don’t know how else to act? Because I don’t know what to say to you? Because you’re angry at me? Because I’m afraid to face the truth? But he didn’t say anything. He just looked at Dom sympathetically and hung his head. “I’m sorry.” He said softly.
“Get out of the car.” Dom commanded. “We’re already late, let’s try and make it before we’re fired, yah?” But without waiting for Billy’s response, Dom turned and got out of the car and started walking towards the make up trailor leaving Billy sitting in the car alone.
He couldn’t force his body to move. He sat in Dom’s car and stared at his reflection in the small mirror above the visor. His face pretty much mirrored how he felt—like shit. Finally mustering up strength to move, Billy got out of the car and walked into the make up trailor.
One day. He kept telling himself. Just one more day.
It was going to be a long day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Long didn’t even begin to explain how that day went. Billy was so tired that he was constantly stumbling over random pieces of set, forgetting his lines, and studdering through the ones he already knew. Their location director was so fed up with them by 4 o’clock that he just called to end the shoot sending them to make-up to de-hobbit.
Billy and Dom really hadn’t said much to each other for the majority of the day aside from the lines they shared. Dom looked just as tired as Billy was. Billy felt guilty for making his friend suffer as much as he did. He didn’t mean to cause Dom any trouble, but he couldn’t seem to help it.
When they were sitting in the trailor getting their feet taken off, Dom lolled his head back and closed his eyes. Billy just sat and watched him, observing him. He had never seen Dom so tired before, and that’s saying something considering some of the stuff he’d get up to before the next days’ shoot. Dom’s face was soft and considerate with his eyes closed and eyelashes laying gently upon his cheek. His lips were pale, almost matching the color of his skin. And not even make-up could hide the black circles that were underneath his eyes.
Suddenly Dom’s ears started twitching slightly causing Billy to giggle at the odd sight. Dom lifted one eye up and looked at Billy out of it’s corner. “What’s so funny?”
They had stopped. “You’re ears were twitching. It was kinda funny with your hobbit extention half on and half off.”
Amused, Dom opened both his eyes and now turned his entire head to look at Billy, with a smirk on his face. “Indeed? And what, pray tell, were you doing staring at my ears to notice them twitching?”
Billy’s face reddened slightly. “Nothing, I uh, Well, You were so quiet, so I looked over at you to see what you were doing, and you had your eyes closed, and I just happened to notice your ears twitching when I looked at you.” Billy nodded as thought it would actually help his story.
Dom smiled broadly and stretched out his arms, folding them behind his head. “Yup yup yup. That’s what they all say. You just couldn’t get enough of this sexy profile, could you?” Dom turned his head forward and imaginarily buffed his nails on one hand. “Don’t worry, Mr Boyd. You’re not the only one susseptable to the charms of me. Lasses and laddies alike all fall under my glorious spell.”
The women who were working on their feet at the time started laughing. “You two are utterly insane. You know that, right?” one of them said, her eyes twinkling.
“Oh no, Sharon, it’s not me. It’s all him. He’s the nutter in this friendship.” Billy said, pointing a finger accusingly at Dom. But his green eyes twinkling, giving away his teasing tone.
“ME?” Dom said agast, pointing at himself. “Me? I’m not the one who rips his script up into a million tiny pieces.” He started to laugh.
But Billy wasn’t laughing. He turned his attention back to his hands folded neatly in his lap and frowned gently.
“Oh Bill, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I—"
“You’re the one who said not to joke about it.” Billy interupted him defensivly. “You’re the one who said this was serious and no laughing matter.” Billys eyes narrowed at their intended target. “So let me ask YOU this Dom, why are you trying to make this into some joke?” It came out harsher than Billy had intended, but either way, it got his point across. Dom opened his mouth ready to say something in reply, but closed it back up and turned to look at his lap.
After Billy’s little outburt, the trailor was so stiffingly quiet you could have heard a pin drop. They just sat there, waiting for their costuming make up people to finish up with them so they could go. Billy wanted to do anything but see Dom that night, but he knew he had no choice. He felt like he was going to be sentenced and he was awaiting his last meal before being put to death. He sighed softly and picked up the newspaper next to him slowly waiting for the evening.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Will you at least talk to me?” Dom asked after a long agonizing silence on their way to Billy’s flat.
“What the hell do you want me to say?” Billy asked, looking out the window on his side.
“I don’t know. Anything. I said I was sorry.” Dom glanced at Billy occasionally whilst keeping most of his attention on the road.
Billy sighed softly and softened his voice. “I know. I’m just…I’m just tired. And I know you are too. I’m just going to go home and go to bed.”
Dom nodded solumnly. He pulled into Billy’s driveway and watched his friend get out of the car. He idled for a minute before deciding to turn off the engine and follow Billy.
He reached out and placed a hand gently on Billy’s shoulder before his friend walked into his flat. “Please? Talk to me?” His plea was soft and broken.
“Dommie.” Billy breathed out, hanging his head slightly. Without turning to face his friend he answered. “I want to. I really do. But I don’t know what to say. I don’t…I don’t know. I can’t explain why. I guess I never looked at it as a problem. I just ….” Billy shook his head and stepped into his flat, walking away from Dom.
Dom stayed in the entry way, eyes wondering after Billy. “Why didn’t you tell me something was wrong?”
Billy turned from whatever he was doing and looked at Dom, standing in the doorway. “Because I guess I didn’t realize it was really a problem.” He heaved a sigh. “Look at it this way. You know how when you have an exam the next day you stay up late and study for it the night before?” Dom nodded. “I started to look at our scenes as an exam, and stayed up late each night studying for the scenes to be ready for them. Since I had such long days, I would take a caffine pill or two to help stay away so I could keep my eyes open and attention alert. When I was done reviewing, I would take a sleeping pill to counteract the caffine pills so I could get some sleep.” Billy shrugged, as if what he were saying was very non-chilant.
Dominic stepped into the flat and grabbed gently onto Billy’s shoulders, looking at him intently in the eye. “Will you stop?” Billy paused a long time, but not breaking eye-contact. Eventually he nodded slowly. “That’s not good enough, Bill. Please, promise me. Will you stop?” Dom overanunciated every word, as if it would make the meaning more true.
Billy rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dominic. I will stop.” Billy stepped back, out of Dom’s reach and turned around to move into the kitchen. “Bloody hell I didn’t realize it was such a big deal to you. It’s not like I was hurting myself or anything. They’re not drugs, they’re just stupid little pills.” Billy started throwing some random dishes into the sink and turned on the faucet.
Dom stalked into the kitchen after Billy grabbing his arm more forecefully and forcing him to make eye contact. “Not drugs? For christs sake, Billy! This is a big deal to me! Fuck! You didn’t think you were hurting yourself? If they were no big deal, then you should have no problem stopping, or no problem with the fact that I’m going to stay here and make sure you stop.” Dom’s brow furrowed deeply and his voice was strong.
Billy glared at Dom and shook out of Dom’s grip. “You’re not staying here, Dom.” Billy grumbled.
“Like hell I not. If you’re really going to stop, then you won’t mind me crashing here. It’ll be just like if we were watching a movie really late and I stayed the night, except it’ll be planed rather than spontanious.”
“I really think that is quite unnecessary, Dominic.” Billy was frowning while trying to keep his attention on washing the dishes in the sink. “I will be quite well without you. Go ahead and flush the pills upstairs for all I care. I told you I won’t take them again, and I mean it. I’m a grown man. I can quite take care of myself.”
“Well obviously not!” Dom shouted back at Billy. “I’m trying to HELP you! Why won’t you let me?”
Billy set down the dish he was washing and turned to face Dominic, soapy hand pointing into Dom’s tee-shirt. “Because I don’t need help, Dominic. Just leave it be. I told you I wouldn’t do them anymore, and I mean it. I won’t. Drop. It.”
Dominic paused and staired at Billy’s hand poking into his chest, then back at Billy. “Fine, you wanna play this little game? If I don’t stay here then I’m going to tell Peter and the rest of the fellowship why you’ve been acting the way you have been for the past couple of weeks. I’m sure he’ll be real thrilled about that. Then, not only will you have ME babysitting you, you’ll have 8 other men as well.” Dom rose his nose up smugly in the air. He won and he knew it. He could see the battle going on in Billy’s eyes resigning to Dom’s threat.
“I never thought you’d resort to blackmail.” Billy said solumnly.
“I never thought you’d resort to drugs.” Dom replied softly.
Billy sighed deeply and took off the rubber gloves, running his hand through his thin hair. “Fine. You win, Dominic. You can stay.”
Dominic smiled softly. “One day you’re going to thank me for this.”
Billy arched one eyebrow and looked at Dom. “Maybe one day I will, but today is not that day and tomorrow’s not looking so hot either.” Billy pushed past Dom and started walking through the living room.
“Where are you going?” Dom called after him.
“If you’re going to stay here, I need to clean out the spare bedroom so you have a place to sleep.” He turned his head and looked at Dom. “Unless you’d like to sleep on the couch.”
“No no, bed is fine.” Dom started after Billy. “Here, I’ll help you.” And they both headed up the stairs to the spare bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour later the room was spiffed up and ready for Dom to sleep in. “I trust you won’t be installing camera’s to watch my every move now, will you?” Billy said, teasingly.
“Hm, that’s not a bad idea, Boyd. Billy Boyd, Too Hot For TV 11. I can see it now! If this movie flops, I can make millions off your “uncensored” tapes.”
“Dirty pervert.”
Dom laughed, his first real laugh all day. “Yah, well, you’re my best friend so that doesn’t speak too highly of you either.” Dom grinned wickedly. Billy just rolled his eyes and laughed.
“You fucking nutter.” He finished fluffing the pillows on the newly made bed and looked at the room proudly. “There. I think it’s about set. It’s getting late so I’m going to go right to bed. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Dom nodded and went over to hug Billy. “I love you, you know that?”
Billy grudingly moved his hands to Dom’s back and returned the gesture. “Aye, I do. I love you too. If it had to be someone, I’m glad it was you."
Dom let go and smiled at Billy. “Me too.” He turned to look at the bed with a satisfied smile. “Sleep well, okay?”
Billy nodded. “I will. You too. G’night.” He turned to walk down the hall to his own bedroom. He had to admit that it was a little strange having Dom in the house with him, but slightly endearing at the same time. Billy knew he was only doing this because he cared about him. Taking a moment to just reflect on the last 48 hours, Billy took his shirt and pants off and walked to the bathroom in his boxers.
Out of habit, he opened up the mirror and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills off the shelf. Suddenly realizing what he had done, he stood frozen for a long time stairing at the small bottle in his hand. He opened the top and spilled a couple of the small blue pills out into his hand.
It would just be so easy to take one or two of them and fall asleep right away, he mused. They just lay there in his warm palm looking up at him innocently. A silent tear slipped down his cheek as he realized Dom was right. It was going to be more difficult to stop than he anticipated. He closed his palm tightly and angrily threw the tabs into the toilet, dumping the rest of the bottles contents in there as well. He stood there unmoving, stairing at the floating blue tabs in the toilet. He wanted to reach into the bowl so badly and pluck two of them out and take them, but he didn’t.
Warm arms suddenly wrapped around his cold torso as he realized Dom was suddenly behind him. “This is why I’m here with you.” He whispered softly into Billy’s ear. “I didn’t want you to be alone. You don’t need to do this alone.”
Billy nodded because he finally understood. “Thank you.” He whispered, turning around. “Thank you."
“Come on.” Dom said gently, leading Billy out of the bathroom and down to his bedroom. “Let’s get you to bed.” Billy nodded numbly and let himself be dragged by his friend down the hall.
When they reached Bill’s room Dom stopped outside the door and hugged Billy once more. “You’re going to be okay. You know that? I’m here for you. And if you need anything at all, I’m right down the hall. Just let me know, okay?” Billy nodded. “Okay. Sleep well, Bill.” And he turned and walked back to his own bedroom.
By
autumnlecroixMonaboyd
Rated R
Disclaimer: I intend no harm to any of the actors mentioned within this story. I don't know them, and I don't know anything about this. This is purely fiction and I am making no profit from this.
Summary: The laughs and hardships Dom and Billy face as friends, morphing into something more. The challenges they face trying to cope with what their relationship is changing in to.
~~Each part is a mini story that is part of the whole mapping the journey that two friends make.
Author's notes: This story is completed. It's rather long, hence why I broke it up into 4 parts.
Things usually just happen. There’s really no explination or reasons as to why, but there are always distinct events or lead up to situations that are constantly over-analyzed and scrutinized. Then again, maybe that’s just the process of life and how we live it. Either way, neither Billy or Dominic were prepaired for what was going to happen in their life, or in their friendship for that matter. But that’s what friendship is, isn’t it? Taking the tasks of life and handling them together? So, if that’s friendship, then what is love?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
*tick tick tick*
Billy sat hunched over a table in a dimly lit room desperately scanning his script again and again trying to prepare himself for a flawless performance the next day. He had jumbled up his lines too many times today to want a repeat performance tomorrow. Exhausted and weary, he lifted his eyes out of the scene he was immersed in and glanced at the clock.
2:31am
His body almost collapsed at the thought that he needed to wake up in 2 hours to head over to make-up and feet. But he couldn’t stop—not yet. He had to be ready. Needed to be ready. He rubbed his eyes furiously and tried to readjust them back to the small font on the script page but nothing would come into focus anymore.
He needed to stop doing this. Staying up until soddin’ two am studying the bloody script for the next day’s shots. He wasn’t in college anymore and his body was already screaming agony at him for exerting it the way he was with his active filming schedule. He was wearing himself down, and fast.
What he wouldn’t give to be 21 again.
Or 22 like Dom, but that’s really neither here nor there.
Giving into his body’s pleas, Billy wondered up the stairs to the bathroom. He stood infront of the mirror and pressed his palms into the counter. He looked at his reflection and sighed. Black circles were etched under his eyes and greasy tufts of hair jetted out in all directions. His face was sunken in and his skin was unusually pale and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn’t bring his eyes into focus.
This needed to stop. Opening the medicine cabinat hidden behind the mirror, Billy grabbed for the bottle of sleeping pills hidden in the corner. Clumsily fumbling with the bottle, he opened it and spilled two of the blue gel tabs into his palm and quickly popped them into his mouth, chasing them down with luke warm water.
Practically dying in his bed, he wasted no time before succumbing to the sleep that was vastly attacking his body.
~~~~~~~~
“BILL!!! WAKE UP!!!”
Billy woke up the next morning (or rather, a few hours later) with his body being shaken back and forth from Dom’s hands. Sleep still clutching tightly to his body, Billy rubbed his eyes, trying to focus on the person in his bedroom. “Wha…” he rubbed his head and looked around his room trying to find the clock, “what time is it?”
“It’s 5:15, and we’re 15 minutes late to feet.” Dom said rather curtly, frowning at his friend.
“Shite.” Billy said, his voice still heavy from his restless night. “I’m sorry, mate. I’ll be ready in a flash.” Billy rolled out of bed and stumbled to the bathroom.
“Billy, you’re still in yesterday’s clothing. Are you okay? Were you able to get much sleep last night?” Billy looked at his friends worried face through his reflection in the mirror and attempted a half smile.
“I guess I got caught up in my script. I stayed up studying it last night.” He opened the mirror again and looked inside the familiar medicine cabinet, grabbing a bright yellow bottle. Not noticing the wary glance from Dom, Billy spilled two of the white tablets into his palm and popped them into his mouth.
“What the fuck are those?” Dom asked, making a reach for the bottle.
Getting defensive, Billy pulled them back quickly and shoved them back into their place on the shelf. “Aspirin. I’ve got a killer headache this morning.”
Not believing him, but not willing to waste anymore time and press the matter further, Dom nodded and started heading out to the car. “Yah, whatever. Well, let’s get going. I have a cup of coffee ready for you in the car.”
Billy followed Dom and hopped into the passenger side of the car and grabbed the cup quickly and took a deep drink, savoring the velvet liquid sliding down his tired throat. But the pills should be kicking in soon…he should wake up any minute. That’s the way it normally worked.
~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time filming wrapped for the day, Billy’s body was aching and sore. His eyes were blurry and his head throbbed from lack of sleep. It was 9pm before Dom dropped him off infront of his flat. They exchanged quick goodbyes, and he promised to wake up on time the next morning so Dom didn’t have to wake him up again.
Shooting had gone really well that day, aside from the fact that Billy’s caffine pills wore off around 2pm. But he remembered all his lines and only messed up twice. His hard work was most deffiently rewarded.
So Billy trudged up the familiar steps to his flat, and walked dirrectly to the bathroom to pop two more caffine pills to begin the familiar nightly ritual that his body vehnimently detested.
*tick tick tick*
It was 3am by the time Billy’s eyes gave out this time. He rubbed his tired pupils and trudged up to the bathroom to take the sleeping pills to counteract the caffine pills he had taken earlier.
This time he set two alarms so he would for sure wake up on time.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
By the time two weeks passed, Billy’s body began to physically give out. His face had noticably sunk in, his eyes were hollow and lifeless, and even his friends began to notice his tired demenor. Whenever one of them would mention how tired Billy looked, he would shrug it off, laugh, making a silly comment about Peter and his work horse schedule, and quietly slip into the bathroom and take two caffine pills to “perk himself back up”. Dom had pulled him aside privately a couple of times and asked him what was really going on, but Billy just laughed that one off as well, and blamed poor sleeping conditions.
How little Dom realized how true Billy’s statement really was.
They had gone 8 days without a day off, and Billy desperately relied on that one day off to replenish his body’s energy levels from his lack of sleep between days off. Sitting at that familiar table with that familiar too-dim light, Billy began another night of restless script studying. He kept telling himself that he only needed to get through one more day until Peter was giving the cast 2 days off to rest and relax.
One more day.
Shortly into Billy’s study session, the phone rang jarring his concentration.
“’Ello?”
“Hey. Can’t sleep, and knowing you slightly better than you know yourself, I knew you were up too. Am bored and inviting self over. See you in a few.” And before Billy could protest or disagree, Dom had hung up the phone.
Billy didn’t want this. Dom didn’t factor into Billy’s night of script research. He looked at the wallclock, and read 10:41pm. He groaned loudly and walked to the fridge and pulled out a cold beer and returned to the small table and returned to reading his script while waiting for Dom to arrive.
~~~~~~~~
After ten minutes, the door slowly creeked open, and Dominic’s head popped around the corner of the door. “I hope you don’t mind that I let myself in. I saw your kitchen lights on and figured you were busy.”
Billy looked up from his script and nodded at Dom’s arrival. “Cold beer in the fridge. Help yourself.” Dom walked fully into the small flat and shut the door behind him.
“Cool. Thanks.” He walked over to the table. “You’re looking at the script?” He grinned. “Wasn’t looking at it all day today enough for you?” Dom snatched the script away from Billy’s hands and examined it closer.
“Give that back!” Billy snatched it back. He frowned at him. “It’s not like you don’t have your own copy, and besides, it’s not like it wouldn’t hurt you a bit to examine it a bit yourself before tomorrow’s shoot.” Billy held the script safely in his arms, but then realized how odd he must have looked.
The smile faded off of Dom’s face as he turned to the fridge and grabbed a beer. “You’re starting to worry me a bit, Bill. You almost looked like gollum there for a sec with the script.”
Billy started laughing. “Aye, I suppose I did. I’m sorry.” He took a long swig of his beer. “Sorry, mate. I’m just a little stressed and tired. I’m not totally ready for the scene we’re doing tomorrow, so I was just taking a few minutes before I went to bed to glance at it.”
Dom didn’t return Billy’s laughter or smile. Instead he looked at him and frowned slightly. “Billy, I think you’re working too hard. You need to go slower. Knowing the script cover to cover isn’t the be all end all. Peter understands if you don’t know some passages. NONE of us are required to have it all memorized. We’re just supposed to have it down enough to work with.”
Billy looked at Dom and then at his script again. “Aye, I suppose you’re right. I’ll put it down for the night. Shall we see what’s playing?” Dom nodded and Billy shoved the script across the table away from him. He stood up and moved into the living area. Dom followed suit.
“You get the tele started and find something decent to watch. I need to go to the bathroom and relieve my little soldiar.” Billy raised his eyebrow at Dom’s “little soldiar” comment and smiled.
“Sure, go right ahead. I’ll have a cold beer waiting for you when you get back.” Billy called to Dom’s retreating back.
It had been 15 minutes and Dom still hadn’t returned from the bathroom. Billy looked at the clock and wondered what happened to his friend. Not really watching the tele anyway, he walked down the hall to the bathroom and gently rapped at the closed door.
The door wasn’t shut entirely, so it gently brushed open revealing Dom hunched on the bathroom, pants up, stairing at two bottles in his hands. Billy’s heart quickly picked up when he realized that Dom must be assuming the worst. He opened his mouth to try and spit out an explination, but found that no words would come out.
Dom heaved a sigh and tore his eyes from the bottles in his hand to look at Billy. They were glossy and filled with unshed tears. “You need help, Bill.”
“No, it’s not what it looks like, trust me.” He attempted a weak laugh. “I know that must look bad, two empty bottles in the garbage—“
“And two fresh ones in your cabinant.” Dom cut in curtly.
“Well, they ran out! And see, sometimes I have a difficult time falling asleep, so I take a sleeping pill to help me sleep. And in the morning, the caffine pills are a great way to get your body going. It’s like a cup of coffee, only a little stronger. I only take them to perk myself up in the morning.” Billy rushed his words out, but found that he had neither convinced Dom nor himself.
Dom threw the empty bottles back in the garbage and stood up. He brushed past Billy, who was standing in the doorway, and walked down the hall. “I gotta go, Bill. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Dom! Wait!” Billy called after his friend as he started to walk out the main door. “Will you just wait a second and let me explain? It’s not what it looks like.” Billy rushed to the door and Dom just stood there, looking at him. Judging him. Scrutinizing him.
Dom held up his hand and silenced Billy without saying a word at all. He opened his mouth to say something, then thoughtfully shut it again and paused. “I think…” He took a deep breath. “I think that I need to think some things through before I talk to you about this. You need help, Billy, and right now I’m really hurt that you’ve been lying to me for the past few weeks. I’m going to go, get some sleep, and we’ll talk about this tomorrow, okay?”
Billy could only nod. Dom’s eyes were unreadable and his body was tense. He walked down the stairs and got into his car, and drove away. Billy still stood in the open doorway watching the street long after Dom’s car had vanished from viewpoint. Giving in, he heaved a sigh and turned around. He walked into the house and looked around. Two full bottles of beer sat in on his coffee table with the tele flickering silently in the background. Dim light spilled out of his kitchen as the culprit script lie innocently on the table.
Anger, hurt, and sadness surged through his body. He wanted to feel anything except the guilt that he knew had caused this situation. He stormed into the kitchen, snatched the script up off the table, and hurled it across the kitchen, pages fluttering everywhere.
Billy pulled at his hair and started screaming, “I HATE YOU!” at the script, as if it knew that it was responsible for what had transpired. Billy stomped over to the lifeless booklet lying haphazardly on the floor and picked it up. He griped it with both his hands and used all his strength to tear it to pieces.
Tattered pieces of script fluttered to the floor like snow as Billy sank down to the floor and sobbed. He made no sound, but his body shook with hollow tears that refused to stop their gentle assult down his face.
Suddenly, the one emotion that he had been avoiding, silently set in. The guilt that he had been avoiding finally made it’s presence known. Billy lifted his head from his knees and forced his blurry eyes to focus on the clock.
It was 12:00 am.
~~~~~~~~~~~~
The black night faded into dawn as Dom sat on a bench in the park not too far from his flat. Hours of beating his poor mind to death, replaying the night over and over caused him to finally conceed to sitting numbly, dead to the world.
He sat that way for hours, until his watch startled him out of his silent revrie. He looked down at the small face and saw it flashing 4:30. He groaned audibly and stood up stretching. He rubbed head and scratched at the stubble that was growing on his chin.
Not sure whether he should go straight to feet, or go back to Billy’s flat, Dom decided on simply getting into his car and letting his hands guide him.
They guided him to two brightly glowing golden arches. A 24 hr McDonalds—treasure to someone who hasn’t eaten in a dozen hours. Dom pulled into the drive thru and looked at the menu.
“Welcome to McDonalds, may I take your order?” Spat a lifeless drab voice over the intercom.
“Uh, can you hang on a second?” Dom replied. “Not quite sure what I want yet.
“Would you like to try our special menu #1? It comes with an Egg Mc—“ Answered the voice.
“No. I want to look for a minute. Can you just chill?” Dom cut in curtly.
“How about our hot flapjacks, with 2—“
“Oh for fucks sake, just give me 2 number #3’s, both with an extra large coffee.” Dom spat at the voice box.
“Will that be all for you this morning?”
“YES!”
“Please pull up to the second window.”
Without saying thank you, Dom idled up to the window he was directed to and handed a wad of cash to the window atendee. When handed his sacks and cups of coffee, he simply drove away leaving the cashire stairing oddly at him speeding away holding Dom’s change in his hand.
Dom was thinking, but he didn’t want to think. He just wanted to drive to Billy’s, pick him up, and get through the day. All he had to do was get through the day and he’d be scot free for a couple days of rest. The pun of course, not intended.
He didn’t know what to expect when he turned into Billy’s driveway and still saw his kitchen light on. He had no clue what Billy did after he had left him last night. A surge of guilt pulsed through his body at simply leaving Billy the way he had, but he didn’t know what else to do. What does one do when they find out that their best friend has a substance abuse problem?
Dom shook the thoughts out of his head as he trudged up the steps to Billy’s main door, food and drinks in hand. His brow furrowed deeply when he saw that the door was ajar, light spilling out of the interior unto the front stoop. Dom knocked as hard as he could with his knuckle without spilling the coffee and food he was juggling. Billy didn’t come to the door, but his knocking caused it to open further. Taking the initiative, Dom stepped in and took a look around.
He noticed the torn of shreds of paper covering the floor and stepped further into the kitchen. His heart stopped when he saw his friend curled up in the corner of the kitchen surrounded by the paper. He didn’t know if he was alive or dead. He raced into the kitchen, set the food and drink on the table, and leaned down next to his friend.
“Billy! Billy! Wake up, mate!” Dom put his hands on Billy’s shoulders and began shaking him lightly. “Come on, man, wake up!!”
Billy groaned loudly and lifted one of his sleepy eyelids up and attempted to focus on who was infront of him. “Dom?” his voice uttered through sleep rattled consciousness.
“Oh thank god.” He signed in relief. He slumped down to the floor and hugged his friend tightly. “I walked into your flat and saw you on the floor surrounded by….what the fuck are you surrounded by anyway?” He picked up one of the small flecks of paper and examined it closer. “Torn script? Anyway, I saw you, and I, and I, I just, god I’m so sorry. I’m so so sorry.”
Dom held onto his friend as though he would dissappear if he let go. He burried his face in Billy’s shirt and refused to move. Not really knowing what to do with his broken friend, Billy silently stroked Dom’s back and whispered silent confirmations that everything was okay in his ear. “Please don’t be sorry, Dommie. You didn’t do anything. Infact, if anything, you helped me. You made me see that I do have a problem.” Billy got quiet and suddenly meloncholy. “I feel like I let you down as a friend.” He uttered, barely audible.
Dom pulled away from Billy and looked at him through glossy eyes. Wetness dampened his cheeks, and his eyes were puffy and red. He shook his head slowly and looked down at the floor. “No, you didn’t let me down. If anything, I let you down. I knew something was wrong but instead of pressing the matter further, when you gave me those half-assed answers to me, I just accepted them. I didn’t bother to try and look beneath the surface like I should have.” He caused, and silent tears began to run down his face again. “I shouldn’t have left you last night. I shouldn’t have walked out on you.” He closed his eyes tightly and embraced Billy again.
Nothing more was said and neither one of them moved for quite some time. The only thing that caused them to move was the sound of both their cell phones going off at the same time. They untangled themselves from each other and reached for their alarming phones. Billy glanced up at the clock and groaned loudly. “It’s 6am. It’s probably them calling asking where the fuck we are.”
Dom nodded, and flipped his phone open to answer it; Billy mimicking his actions. They both muttered appologies and promises that they’d be there in just a couple minutes, hung up their phones and looked at each other. Suddenly Billy broke out into a bellowing laugh, rocking back and forth. Shocked at Billy’s sudden burst of emotion, Dom arched his eyebrow and looked at him oddly.
“Bill, mate, I think you’ve finally gone off the deep end.” Dom moved to get up, offering his hand to help Bill get up as well.
“Well, yes, but no.” He said between laughs. “Think about it for a moment, Dommie. Think of how bad this will look. We’re both stumbling into feet an hour late, looking very ruffled and tired, wearing yesterday’s clothing? It’s gunna look bad, mate.” And Billy laughed some more. Finally understanding what Billy was alluding to, Dom started laughing as well.
“I suppose you’re right. It does look rather suspicious.” He smirkingly raised his eyebrow. “And who, my friend, shall we say was on top?” His grin was wide and devilish.
Billy stopped laughing and looked at Dom through widened eyes. Without letting too much time pass to reveal how shocked Billy really was by Dom’s comment, he simply covered his face up with a grin matching Dom’s challenge and said, “Well I was, of course.”
“Ooh, cheeky!” Dom walked into the living room and grabbed the forgotten McDonald’s off the coffee table and handed half to Billy. “It’s a little cold, but it’s better than nothing. Let’s head out before we’re in even hotter water.”
Billy smiled and followed Dom out of the house to his car. They drove to feet in mostly silence, but finally Dom spoke up. “You know we’re not finished,” he stopped at a red light and turned to look at Billy, “right?”
Billy turned his eyes away from Dom and down cast them to the grey road ahead. He nodded solumnly. “Yeah. I know.”
Dom took a deep sigh and started forward again as the light turned green. “Listen, I’m not out to be an enemy. I’m only worried because I care. I don’t want you to get hurt.”
“Dom, it’s okay. I know.” Billy cut in, not really wanting to hear Dom finish. Another long silence filled up the small car. “Dom, would it be all right if,” he paused, chewing his bottom lip, “if you didn’t tell anyone else about, um, you know. My problem?”
Dom’s knuckles on the wheel tightened slightly and crested white. “Yah.” He said curtly. “Our little secret.”
Dom whipped the car around to turn into the parking lot, causing both of the car’s passengers to shift to the right in the car. “Who needs caffine pills to wake up in the morning when I’ve got your driving?” Billy jested. Dom only tightened his lips and gave Billy a stern frown. “Hey! I was just kidding!” Billy said defensivly, when his joke was lost upon his friend. “You know me. I’m always trying to make light out of situations.”
Dom turned his head to Billy. “It wasn’t funny and neither is your little problem. This is serious, Bill. Why are you trying to make this into some joke?”
Because I don’t know how else to act? Because I don’t know what to say to you? Because you’re angry at me? Because I’m afraid to face the truth? But he didn’t say anything. He just looked at Dom sympathetically and hung his head. “I’m sorry.” He said softly.
“Get out of the car.” Dom commanded. “We’re already late, let’s try and make it before we’re fired, yah?” But without waiting for Billy’s response, Dom turned and got out of the car and started walking towards the make up trailor leaving Billy sitting in the car alone.
He couldn’t force his body to move. He sat in Dom’s car and stared at his reflection in the small mirror above the visor. His face pretty much mirrored how he felt—like shit. Finally mustering up strength to move, Billy got out of the car and walked into the make up trailor.
One day. He kept telling himself. Just one more day.
It was going to be a long day.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Long didn’t even begin to explain how that day went. Billy was so tired that he was constantly stumbling over random pieces of set, forgetting his lines, and studdering through the ones he already knew. Their location director was so fed up with them by 4 o’clock that he just called to end the shoot sending them to make-up to de-hobbit.
Billy and Dom really hadn’t said much to each other for the majority of the day aside from the lines they shared. Dom looked just as tired as Billy was. Billy felt guilty for making his friend suffer as much as he did. He didn’t mean to cause Dom any trouble, but he couldn’t seem to help it.
When they were sitting in the trailor getting their feet taken off, Dom lolled his head back and closed his eyes. Billy just sat and watched him, observing him. He had never seen Dom so tired before, and that’s saying something considering some of the stuff he’d get up to before the next days’ shoot. Dom’s face was soft and considerate with his eyes closed and eyelashes laying gently upon his cheek. His lips were pale, almost matching the color of his skin. And not even make-up could hide the black circles that were underneath his eyes.
Suddenly Dom’s ears started twitching slightly causing Billy to giggle at the odd sight. Dom lifted one eye up and looked at Billy out of it’s corner. “What’s so funny?”
They had stopped. “You’re ears were twitching. It was kinda funny with your hobbit extention half on and half off.”
Amused, Dom opened both his eyes and now turned his entire head to look at Billy, with a smirk on his face. “Indeed? And what, pray tell, were you doing staring at my ears to notice them twitching?”
Billy’s face reddened slightly. “Nothing, I uh, Well, You were so quiet, so I looked over at you to see what you were doing, and you had your eyes closed, and I just happened to notice your ears twitching when I looked at you.” Billy nodded as thought it would actually help his story.
Dom smiled broadly and stretched out his arms, folding them behind his head. “Yup yup yup. That’s what they all say. You just couldn’t get enough of this sexy profile, could you?” Dom turned his head forward and imaginarily buffed his nails on one hand. “Don’t worry, Mr Boyd. You’re not the only one susseptable to the charms of me. Lasses and laddies alike all fall under my glorious spell.”
The women who were working on their feet at the time started laughing. “You two are utterly insane. You know that, right?” one of them said, her eyes twinkling.
“Oh no, Sharon, it’s not me. It’s all him. He’s the nutter in this friendship.” Billy said, pointing a finger accusingly at Dom. But his green eyes twinkling, giving away his teasing tone.
“ME?” Dom said agast, pointing at himself. “Me? I’m not the one who rips his script up into a million tiny pieces.” He started to laugh.
But Billy wasn’t laughing. He turned his attention back to his hands folded neatly in his lap and frowned gently.
“Oh Bill, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean it like that. I—"
“You’re the one who said not to joke about it.” Billy interupted him defensivly. “You’re the one who said this was serious and no laughing matter.” Billys eyes narrowed at their intended target. “So let me ask YOU this Dom, why are you trying to make this into some joke?” It came out harsher than Billy had intended, but either way, it got his point across. Dom opened his mouth ready to say something in reply, but closed it back up and turned to look at his lap.
After Billy’s little outburt, the trailor was so stiffingly quiet you could have heard a pin drop. They just sat there, waiting for their costuming make up people to finish up with them so they could go. Billy wanted to do anything but see Dom that night, but he knew he had no choice. He felt like he was going to be sentenced and he was awaiting his last meal before being put to death. He sighed softly and picked up the newspaper next to him slowly waiting for the evening.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
“Will you at least talk to me?” Dom asked after a long agonizing silence on their way to Billy’s flat.
“What the hell do you want me to say?” Billy asked, looking out the window on his side.
“I don’t know. Anything. I said I was sorry.” Dom glanced at Billy occasionally whilst keeping most of his attention on the road.
Billy sighed softly and softened his voice. “I know. I’m just…I’m just tired. And I know you are too. I’m just going to go home and go to bed.”
Dom nodded solumnly. He pulled into Billy’s driveway and watched his friend get out of the car. He idled for a minute before deciding to turn off the engine and follow Billy.
He reached out and placed a hand gently on Billy’s shoulder before his friend walked into his flat. “Please? Talk to me?” His plea was soft and broken.
“Dommie.” Billy breathed out, hanging his head slightly. Without turning to face his friend he answered. “I want to. I really do. But I don’t know what to say. I don’t…I don’t know. I can’t explain why. I guess I never looked at it as a problem. I just ….” Billy shook his head and stepped into his flat, walking away from Dom.
Dom stayed in the entry way, eyes wondering after Billy. “Why didn’t you tell me something was wrong?”
Billy turned from whatever he was doing and looked at Dom, standing in the doorway. “Because I guess I didn’t realize it was really a problem.” He heaved a sigh. “Look at it this way. You know how when you have an exam the next day you stay up late and study for it the night before?” Dom nodded. “I started to look at our scenes as an exam, and stayed up late each night studying for the scenes to be ready for them. Since I had such long days, I would take a caffine pill or two to help stay away so I could keep my eyes open and attention alert. When I was done reviewing, I would take a sleeping pill to counteract the caffine pills so I could get some sleep.” Billy shrugged, as if what he were saying was very non-chilant.
Dominic stepped into the flat and grabbed gently onto Billy’s shoulders, looking at him intently in the eye. “Will you stop?” Billy paused a long time, but not breaking eye-contact. Eventually he nodded slowly. “That’s not good enough, Bill. Please, promise me. Will you stop?” Dom overanunciated every word, as if it would make the meaning more true.
Billy rolled his eyes. “Yes, Dominic. I will stop.” Billy stepped back, out of Dom’s reach and turned around to move into the kitchen. “Bloody hell I didn’t realize it was such a big deal to you. It’s not like I was hurting myself or anything. They’re not drugs, they’re just stupid little pills.” Billy started throwing some random dishes into the sink and turned on the faucet.
Dom stalked into the kitchen after Billy grabbing his arm more forecefully and forcing him to make eye contact. “Not drugs? For christs sake, Billy! This is a big deal to me! Fuck! You didn’t think you were hurting yourself? If they were no big deal, then you should have no problem stopping, or no problem with the fact that I’m going to stay here and make sure you stop.” Dom’s brow furrowed deeply and his voice was strong.
Billy glared at Dom and shook out of Dom’s grip. “You’re not staying here, Dom.” Billy grumbled.
“Like hell I not. If you’re really going to stop, then you won’t mind me crashing here. It’ll be just like if we were watching a movie really late and I stayed the night, except it’ll be planed rather than spontanious.”
“I really think that is quite unnecessary, Dominic.” Billy was frowning while trying to keep his attention on washing the dishes in the sink. “I will be quite well without you. Go ahead and flush the pills upstairs for all I care. I told you I won’t take them again, and I mean it. I’m a grown man. I can quite take care of myself.”
“Well obviously not!” Dom shouted back at Billy. “I’m trying to HELP you! Why won’t you let me?”
Billy set down the dish he was washing and turned to face Dominic, soapy hand pointing into Dom’s tee-shirt. “Because I don’t need help, Dominic. Just leave it be. I told you I wouldn’t do them anymore, and I mean it. I won’t. Drop. It.”
Dominic paused and staired at Billy’s hand poking into his chest, then back at Billy. “Fine, you wanna play this little game? If I don’t stay here then I’m going to tell Peter and the rest of the fellowship why you’ve been acting the way you have been for the past couple of weeks. I’m sure he’ll be real thrilled about that. Then, not only will you have ME babysitting you, you’ll have 8 other men as well.” Dom rose his nose up smugly in the air. He won and he knew it. He could see the battle going on in Billy’s eyes resigning to Dom’s threat.
“I never thought you’d resort to blackmail.” Billy said solumnly.
“I never thought you’d resort to drugs.” Dom replied softly.
Billy sighed deeply and took off the rubber gloves, running his hand through his thin hair. “Fine. You win, Dominic. You can stay.”
Dominic smiled softly. “One day you’re going to thank me for this.”
Billy arched one eyebrow and looked at Dom. “Maybe one day I will, but today is not that day and tomorrow’s not looking so hot either.” Billy pushed past Dom and started walking through the living room.
“Where are you going?” Dom called after him.
“If you’re going to stay here, I need to clean out the spare bedroom so you have a place to sleep.” He turned his head and looked at Dom. “Unless you’d like to sleep on the couch.”
“No no, bed is fine.” Dom started after Billy. “Here, I’ll help you.” And they both headed up the stairs to the spare bedroom.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
An hour later the room was spiffed up and ready for Dom to sleep in. “I trust you won’t be installing camera’s to watch my every move now, will you?” Billy said, teasingly.
“Hm, that’s not a bad idea, Boyd. Billy Boyd, Too Hot For TV 11. I can see it now! If this movie flops, I can make millions off your “uncensored” tapes.”
“Dirty pervert.”
Dom laughed, his first real laugh all day. “Yah, well, you’re my best friend so that doesn’t speak too highly of you either.” Dom grinned wickedly. Billy just rolled his eyes and laughed.
“You fucking nutter.” He finished fluffing the pillows on the newly made bed and looked at the room proudly. “There. I think it’s about set. It’s getting late so I’m going to go right to bed. If you need anything, don’t hesitate to ask.”
Dom nodded and went over to hug Billy. “I love you, you know that?”
Billy grudingly moved his hands to Dom’s back and returned the gesture. “Aye, I do. I love you too. If it had to be someone, I’m glad it was you."
Dom let go and smiled at Billy. “Me too.” He turned to look at the bed with a satisfied smile. “Sleep well, okay?”
Billy nodded. “I will. You too. G’night.” He turned to walk down the hall to his own bedroom. He had to admit that it was a little strange having Dom in the house with him, but slightly endearing at the same time. Billy knew he was only doing this because he cared about him. Taking a moment to just reflect on the last 48 hours, Billy took his shirt and pants off and walked to the bathroom in his boxers.
Out of habit, he opened up the mirror and grabbed the bottle of sleeping pills off the shelf. Suddenly realizing what he had done, he stood frozen for a long time stairing at the small bottle in his hand. He opened the top and spilled a couple of the small blue pills out into his hand.
It would just be so easy to take one or two of them and fall asleep right away, he mused. They just lay there in his warm palm looking up at him innocently. A silent tear slipped down his cheek as he realized Dom was right. It was going to be more difficult to stop than he anticipated. He closed his palm tightly and angrily threw the tabs into the toilet, dumping the rest of the bottles contents in there as well. He stood there unmoving, stairing at the floating blue tabs in the toilet. He wanted to reach into the bowl so badly and pluck two of them out and take them, but he didn’t.
Warm arms suddenly wrapped around his cold torso as he realized Dom was suddenly behind him. “This is why I’m here with you.” He whispered softly into Billy’s ear. “I didn’t want you to be alone. You don’t need to do this alone.”
Billy nodded because he finally understood. “Thank you.” He whispered, turning around. “Thank you."
“Come on.” Dom said gently, leading Billy out of the bathroom and down to his bedroom. “Let’s get you to bed.” Billy nodded numbly and let himself be dragged by his friend down the hall.
When they reached Bill’s room Dom stopped outside the door and hugged Billy once more. “You’re going to be okay. You know that? I’m here for you. And if you need anything at all, I’m right down the hall. Just let me know, okay?” Billy nodded. “Okay. Sleep well, Bill.” And he turned and walked back to his own bedroom.
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Dom's such a sweetheart.
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