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monaboyd Aug. 17th, 2004 12:39 pm)
sacreddesire.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Aug. 17th, 2004 12:39 pm)Title: Tell Me Again That You Love Me (1/1)
Authors: Laurie (![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sacreddesire) & Jamie (sistersluge)
Pairing: Billy/Dom, implied Dom/?
Feedback: Always appreciated
Summary: Dialogue fic; lots of angst.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Fictiony fiction.
Beta: Becks (satine405)
~~~~~~~~~~
“Won’t you even talk to me Bills?”
“You've betrayed me Dom.”
“Please Billy, please.”
“Why Dom? Why?”
“I know sorry doesn’t mean anything. But I am. I truly am. I don’t know Billy. I have no explanation. I was stupid.”
“Do you still love me Dom?”
“How can you even ask me that? Billy, I live and breathe for you alone. You own my soul. Billy, I would bleed myself dry for you. Without you, I am nothing. Yes, Billy. I love you, oh god.”
“Can I trust you Dom? Can I trust you?”
“What else can I say? God Billy.”
“Can I trust you not to do it again? To hurt me again?”
“Knowing that I have hurt you kills me Billy. I want to do everything in my power to take your pain away, but I can’t because I am the cause of your pain. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I’m an idiot, I’m stupid, I don’t think sometimes. I don’t know Billy. I don’t know.”
“What do you want me to say Dom?”
“Please, Billy. God, I don’t know, I want you to say what you need to say. Scream at me, tell me to get out, just say something, please. Please say something.”
“I don't know, Dom. You've hurt me.”
“God, I know I have. I’m so sorry Billy. I never meant to.”
“But you did!”
“Why do I always find a way to hurt that which I love most? What is wrong with me?”
“And it was him, of all people! You chose him!”
“I know.”
“Why!”
“I don’t know. I don’t know Billy. All I could think about was you the whole time. All I could see was your face. And I felt you slipping away. I knew that with every second I was losing you. And yet I couldn’t stop.”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“No Billy, I did not enjoy it. I felt dirty. I felt like a bastard.”
“Did you scream his name?”
“No. I didn’t scream at all, I couldn’t have even if I wanted to. I was choked by my own sobbing.”
“But you didn't stop. You knew it was wrong yet you didn't stop.”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop. I’m weak and I couldn’t stop. It was worse than wrong. It was something I didn’t even want.”
“If you couldn't stop then, what makes me believe that you can later?”
“You’re right. Of course, you are completely right. I know you can’t trust me again. I’m not going to insult you by promising things that you won’t believe.”
“Won't? Or can't? I want to, Dom. God, how I want to believe you.”
“I think it is both, Billy.”
“Why did you tell me?”
“Would you have preferred to find out later on your own? Then in addition to the betrayal you would feel cheated and lied to for God knows how long.”
“You didn't answer my question, Dom.”
“Because, Billy, I couldn’t live with myself, knowing what I had done and how it would hurt you. I couldn’t keep that inside. You deserve to know the truth. You deserve to know what I am. You deserve to be able to find someone better.”
“Tell me again, Dom. Tell me again that you love me.”
“Billy. I love you. There is no one else I could ever love. You are my life. You are the reason I live.”
“I love you too, Dom.”
THE END
Authors: Laurie (
sacreddesire) & Jamie (sistersluge)Pairing: Billy/Dom, implied Dom/?
Feedback: Always appreciated
Summary: Dialogue fic; lots of angst.
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Fictiony fiction.
Beta: Becks (
satine405)~~~~~~~~~~
“Won’t you even talk to me Bills?”
“You've betrayed me Dom.”
“Please Billy, please.”
“Why Dom? Why?”
“I know sorry doesn’t mean anything. But I am. I truly am. I don’t know Billy. I have no explanation. I was stupid.”
“Do you still love me Dom?”
“How can you even ask me that? Billy, I live and breathe for you alone. You own my soul. Billy, I would bleed myself dry for you. Without you, I am nothing. Yes, Billy. I love you, oh god.”
“Can I trust you Dom? Can I trust you?”
“What else can I say? God Billy.”
“Can I trust you not to do it again? To hurt me again?”
“Knowing that I have hurt you kills me Billy. I want to do everything in my power to take your pain away, but I can’t because I am the cause of your pain. The last thing I ever wanted to do is hurt you.”
“Then why did you?”
“Because I’m an idiot, I’m stupid, I don’t think sometimes. I don’t know Billy. I don’t know.”
“What do you want me to say Dom?”
“Please, Billy. God, I don’t know, I want you to say what you need to say. Scream at me, tell me to get out, just say something, please. Please say something.”
“I don't know, Dom. You've hurt me.”
“God, I know I have. I’m so sorry Billy. I never meant to.”
“But you did!”
“Why do I always find a way to hurt that which I love most? What is wrong with me?”
“And it was him, of all people! You chose him!”
“I know.”
“Why!”
“I don’t know. I don’t know Billy. All I could think about was you the whole time. All I could see was your face. And I felt you slipping away. I knew that with every second I was losing you. And yet I couldn’t stop.”
“Did you enjoy it?”
“No Billy, I did not enjoy it. I felt dirty. I felt like a bastard.”
“Did you scream his name?”
“No. I didn’t scream at all, I couldn’t have even if I wanted to. I was choked by my own sobbing.”
“But you didn't stop. You knew it was wrong yet you didn't stop.”
“I couldn’t. I couldn’t stop. I’m weak and I couldn’t stop. It was worse than wrong. It was something I didn’t even want.”
“If you couldn't stop then, what makes me believe that you can later?”
“You’re right. Of course, you are completely right. I know you can’t trust me again. I’m not going to insult you by promising things that you won’t believe.”
“Won't? Or can't? I want to, Dom. God, how I want to believe you.”
“I think it is both, Billy.”
“Why did you tell me?”
“Would you have preferred to find out later on your own? Then in addition to the betrayal you would feel cheated and lied to for God knows how long.”
“You didn't answer my question, Dom.”
“Because, Billy, I couldn’t live with myself, knowing what I had done and how it would hurt you. I couldn’t keep that inside. You deserve to know the truth. You deserve to know what I am. You deserve to be able to find someone better.”
“Tell me again, Dom. Tell me again that you love me.”
“Billy. I love you. There is no one else I could ever love. You are my life. You are the reason I live.”
“I love you too, Dom.”
THE END
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At least Billy, you know, came around. Dom probably gave him those puppy eyes ;)
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