(
desire-billy.livejournal.com posting in
monaboyd Aug. 12th, 2004 06:16 pm)
As Hurricane Charley continues it's path towards my home state, Florida, I feel compelled to post this fic. I started writing it 2 weeks ago. Who knew I was tempting fate! But who better to ride out a storm with than Billy, Dom, Orlando and Elijah!
Title: Hurricane William (1/?)
Author: desire_billy
Pairing: Dom/Billy, Elijah /Orlando
Rating: R so far
Disclaimer: I lie often. Hurricanes are not something to make light of. They are dangerous and unforgiving. Unfortunately, as a local Floridian, I too have a habit of not heeding warnings and expressing my thoughts to tourist. I feel awful.
A/N: This is a pic of where the guys are staying, and a view of their pool! The name William was in the list of Hurricane names for the year 2000, but I'm using it for this year too. Cyclone Tracy devastated the town of Darwin, Australia Christmas Day 1974. Hurricane Andrew destroyed Homestead, Florida August 1992.
Summary: The boys go to Key Largo, Florida November 2004 to do some diving, fishing and drinking. Hurricane William threatens and they do not heed the warnings. Billy has just recently broken up with Ali. Orlando and Kate are on the outs. Dom and Elijah still single and bi.
~
"What do you mean Category 3*?!" Orlando's voice was somewhat high pitched in his current state of excitement.
Elijah sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "They just announced it. Fuck! Went from a 1 to a 3 fast! We should've left when voluntary evacuations were asked for."
His eyes darting back and forth between Dom and Elijah, Orlando asked, "They said the highway was flooded right? We can do this though, huh? You got the alcohol right, Sblomie?"
Billy slammed his hand down on the table and yelled, "Fuck Orli! This is serious! Why the fuck did I listen to you and Dom? Shite! We have got to secure this place. What did that old man at Ballyhoos tell us? Only the locals are crazy enough to stay behind? Shite!"
Elijah placed his hand on Billy's shoulder. "Hey dude, it's ok. This house is big and there are a few safe rooms."
With a look of doubt on his face Orlando asked, "Safe room, Lig?"
Putting an arm around Billy's waist, Dom said, "Yea, that waitress from Mandalay's the other night told us about them. Any room with no windows and no exterior walls are the safest." He could feel Billy pulling away from him. He tightened his grip on his best mate and whispered, "Please Bills. Don't get mad at me again."
Billy sighed, turned and wrapped his arms around Dom pulling him into a tender embrace. "I'm not Dommie, just worried."
Their moment however, was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Orlando left the living room to answer it. Elijah leaned against the dark mahogany ladder that lead up to the loft and tried to think if he'd ever heard anyone talk about being in a hurricane.
He remembered Daisy talking about one while they were still filming Rings. He had said it wiped out a town in Australia on Christmas Day. But he had called it a cyclone. Later though Astin had told him they were the same as hurricanes. Watching Dom and Billy hug each other, Elijah felt slightly scared and began to bite at his already worn fingertips.
Billy let go of Dom and sat on the small wicker sofa resting his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands. Dom felt guilty, again, for getting caught up in the excitement the other night when it was announced that a hurricane was heading towards the Florida Keys.
~
They had all been drinking heavily, surprise surprise, at the local bar Ballyhoos. Someone said something about the last hurricane of the season forming. A large TV was suddenly sporting The Weather Channel. Dom remembered giggling when the weatherman announced that Tropical Storm William was now being upgraded to a Category 1 hurricane.
He had been standing behind Billy and leaned in close and whispered into his ear, "Gonna blow for me William?" Giggling, Billy had turned around and blew a stream of hot sweet breath just below Dom's ear making him shiver.
The locals in the bar began talking about having a "Hurricane Party". Of course Dom was intrigued, as was Orlando. Elijah had been drunk for hours by then and was giggling madly about Hurricane Billy, as he kept calling it, ruining their vacation. Billy, however, kept an eye on the telly and one on Dom. He had over heard two weathered old men grumbling about the locals and how they were just crazy enough to stay and party through another storm.
Soon Dom and Orlando had gotten caught up in the details of throwing a Hurricane Party. Large amounts of alcohol, ingredients to make a powerful drink called a Hurricane*, tropical clothing, Jimmy Buffett music and a blow up raft!
They'd made it back to the house they had rented late that night stumbling and teasing Billy about how he could blow them, and how big the weatherman said he was getting. Billy laughed and reminded them he had always been big. Although he was laughing, in the back of his mind he was nervous.
The next day, Hurricane William was 610 miles off the coast of Miami heading due west.
Upon awakening, Billy decided that a Hurricane Party didn't sound nearly as funny as it did the night before. As he sat in the kitchen sipping tea and nursing a hangover, he expressed this thought to Elijah.
"We should just get in the car and drive to Orlando. Go have fun Disney World for a few days, then we can come back. We have this place for two weeks. IF it's still standing, we can come back and dive the Dry Rocks Reef."
Elijah leaned against the counter drinking his coffee and looking across the front room out the large window. It's so beautiful out. Hard to believe a hurricane is really out there. You know I heard some of the locals talking last night about how these storms will threaten but suddenly curve north and never hit."
Eyeing him with suspicion, Billy asked, "How do you even remember last night, Lij? Has Dom and Orlando already gotten to you this morning?"
His cheeks turning slightly rosy, Elijah said, "What? No, it's just I hate to leave here, if we don't HAVE to. You know? I mean we paid a pretty penny for this place. I want to enjoy it!"
Shaking his head and looking into his now empty mug, Billy said, "Being blown across Key Largo to an untimely death isn't worth the money we forked out Lij!"
Before Elijah could come up with a witty retort, Orlando bounced around the corner. "Mornin' mates! Are we ready for THE party! This is going to be awesome! Rain, wind, music and drink! Oi! We have to get the blow up raft today!"
Elijah giggled and Billy began his plea for evacuation, but Dom entering the room cut him off. "Billy! Where is your sense of adventure? It's only a Category 1! Less than 160 kilometer per hour mate! That bloke from last night said it would be more like 70 miles per hour or less! We may lose power and the rubbish bins will get blown about! Come on!"
Billy sat shaking his head; "I don't know Dommie. We are on low ground here, and ON the water. It could flood."
Orlando shook with laughter. "Billy, when did you turn in to Astin? Besides, look outside. It's beautiful! It's probably going to turn north and just skim up the coast like they said last night in the bar."
Billy turned and glared at Elijah, who pushed off the counter stating he was going to go turn on The Weather Channel.
~
They spent the next hour getting ready for their dive at the Benwood Wreck. Elijah, however, was glued to the television. Dom tried to pull him away physically, but Elijah resisted, saying the reports of the hurricane were almost mesmerizing. Laughing at him Orlando unplugged the telly and threw him over his shoulder.
"No way, Doodle. Let's go look at a shipwreck!"
~
Their dive was cut short however, by the impending storm. The boat captain called all the divers in from the water stating that a hurricane watch was now in affect for the Keys and voluntary evacuations were being asked for. Billy inquired of the captain exactly what was a 'watch'.
"Just means that hurricane conditions are possible within 36 hours. More than likely this storm with just turn and skirt up the coast, but you never know. People didn't take heed with Andrew and look what happened."
Elijah leaned closer. "I remember that. That was what, 10 years ago. Huge ass storm. Wiped out some town here right?"
The captain shook his head in agreement. "12 years ago actually. Homestead was destroyed. That's a bit north, but not far. People didn't believe the warnings. The Keys is not a place to get stuck during a bad one. One way in, one way out. Highway 1 gets flooded and you're stuck."
Billy glared at Dom and Orlando who smiled in return. Looking back at the captain Billy asked, "So, you are going to leave till the storm is over, right?"
Raising his eyebrows and smiling, the captain answered, "Oh, no. I'll just tie up the ole Miss Adventure here," he patted the side of the boat, "and ride out the storm at my neighbor's Hurricane Party!"
Billy could hear Elijah giggle and Orlando and Dom laughing heartily as he stalked to the back of the boat.
*Category 3- 111-130 mph. Some structural damage to small residences and utility buildings with a minor amount of curtainwall failures. Mobile homes are destroyed. Flooding near the coast destroys smaller structures with larger structures damaged by floating debris. Terrain continuously lower than 5 feet ASL may be flooded inland 8 miles or more.
*Hurricane Drink - 1 oz Vodka, 1/4 oz Grenadine, 1 oz Gin, 1 oz Light Rum, 1/2 oz Bacardi 151 Proof Rum, 1 oz Amaretto, Almond Liqueur, 1 oz Triple Sec, Grapefruit Juice, Pineapple Juice
Title: Hurricane William (1/?)
Author: desire_billy
Pairing: Dom/Billy, Elijah /Orlando
Rating: R so far
Disclaimer: I lie often. Hurricanes are not something to make light of. They are dangerous and unforgiving. Unfortunately, as a local Floridian, I too have a habit of not heeding warnings and expressing my thoughts to tourist. I feel awful.
A/N: This is a pic of where the guys are staying, and a view of their pool! The name William was in the list of Hurricane names for the year 2000, but I'm using it for this year too. Cyclone Tracy devastated the town of Darwin, Australia Christmas Day 1974. Hurricane Andrew destroyed Homestead, Florida August 1992.
Summary: The boys go to Key Largo, Florida November 2004 to do some diving, fishing and drinking. Hurricane William threatens and they do not heed the warnings. Billy has just recently broken up with Ali. Orlando and Kate are on the outs. Dom and Elijah still single and bi.
~
"What do you mean Category 3*?!" Orlando's voice was somewhat high pitched in his current state of excitement.
Elijah sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. "They just announced it. Fuck! Went from a 1 to a 3 fast! We should've left when voluntary evacuations were asked for."
His eyes darting back and forth between Dom and Elijah, Orlando asked, "They said the highway was flooded right? We can do this though, huh? You got the alcohol right, Sblomie?"
Billy slammed his hand down on the table and yelled, "Fuck Orli! This is serious! Why the fuck did I listen to you and Dom? Shite! We have got to secure this place. What did that old man at Ballyhoos tell us? Only the locals are crazy enough to stay behind? Shite!"
Elijah placed his hand on Billy's shoulder. "Hey dude, it's ok. This house is big and there are a few safe rooms."
With a look of doubt on his face Orlando asked, "Safe room, Lig?"
Putting an arm around Billy's waist, Dom said, "Yea, that waitress from Mandalay's the other night told us about them. Any room with no windows and no exterior walls are the safest." He could feel Billy pulling away from him. He tightened his grip on his best mate and whispered, "Please Bills. Don't get mad at me again."
Billy sighed, turned and wrapped his arms around Dom pulling him into a tender embrace. "I'm not Dommie, just worried."
Their moment however, was interrupted by the sound of the doorbell. Orlando left the living room to answer it. Elijah leaned against the dark mahogany ladder that lead up to the loft and tried to think if he'd ever heard anyone talk about being in a hurricane.
He remembered Daisy talking about one while they were still filming Rings. He had said it wiped out a town in Australia on Christmas Day. But he had called it a cyclone. Later though Astin had told him they were the same as hurricanes. Watching Dom and Billy hug each other, Elijah felt slightly scared and began to bite at his already worn fingertips.
Billy let go of Dom and sat on the small wicker sofa resting his elbows on his knees and putting his head in his hands. Dom felt guilty, again, for getting caught up in the excitement the other night when it was announced that a hurricane was heading towards the Florida Keys.
~
They had all been drinking heavily, surprise surprise, at the local bar Ballyhoos. Someone said something about the last hurricane of the season forming. A large TV was suddenly sporting The Weather Channel. Dom remembered giggling when the weatherman announced that Tropical Storm William was now being upgraded to a Category 1 hurricane.
He had been standing behind Billy and leaned in close and whispered into his ear, "Gonna blow for me William?" Giggling, Billy had turned around and blew a stream of hot sweet breath just below Dom's ear making him shiver.
The locals in the bar began talking about having a "Hurricane Party". Of course Dom was intrigued, as was Orlando. Elijah had been drunk for hours by then and was giggling madly about Hurricane Billy, as he kept calling it, ruining their vacation. Billy, however, kept an eye on the telly and one on Dom. He had over heard two weathered old men grumbling about the locals and how they were just crazy enough to stay and party through another storm.
Soon Dom and Orlando had gotten caught up in the details of throwing a Hurricane Party. Large amounts of alcohol, ingredients to make a powerful drink called a Hurricane*, tropical clothing, Jimmy Buffett music and a blow up raft!
They'd made it back to the house they had rented late that night stumbling and teasing Billy about how he could blow them, and how big the weatherman said he was getting. Billy laughed and reminded them he had always been big. Although he was laughing, in the back of his mind he was nervous.
The next day, Hurricane William was 610 miles off the coast of Miami heading due west.
Upon awakening, Billy decided that a Hurricane Party didn't sound nearly as funny as it did the night before. As he sat in the kitchen sipping tea and nursing a hangover, he expressed this thought to Elijah.
"We should just get in the car and drive to Orlando. Go have fun Disney World for a few days, then we can come back. We have this place for two weeks. IF it's still standing, we can come back and dive the Dry Rocks Reef."
Elijah leaned against the counter drinking his coffee and looking across the front room out the large window. It's so beautiful out. Hard to believe a hurricane is really out there. You know I heard some of the locals talking last night about how these storms will threaten but suddenly curve north and never hit."
Eyeing him with suspicion, Billy asked, "How do you even remember last night, Lij? Has Dom and Orlando already gotten to you this morning?"
His cheeks turning slightly rosy, Elijah said, "What? No, it's just I hate to leave here, if we don't HAVE to. You know? I mean we paid a pretty penny for this place. I want to enjoy it!"
Shaking his head and looking into his now empty mug, Billy said, "Being blown across Key Largo to an untimely death isn't worth the money we forked out Lij!"
Before Elijah could come up with a witty retort, Orlando bounced around the corner. "Mornin' mates! Are we ready for THE party! This is going to be awesome! Rain, wind, music and drink! Oi! We have to get the blow up raft today!"
Elijah giggled and Billy began his plea for evacuation, but Dom entering the room cut him off. "Billy! Where is your sense of adventure? It's only a Category 1! Less than 160 kilometer per hour mate! That bloke from last night said it would be more like 70 miles per hour or less! We may lose power and the rubbish bins will get blown about! Come on!"
Billy sat shaking his head; "I don't know Dommie. We are on low ground here, and ON the water. It could flood."
Orlando shook with laughter. "Billy, when did you turn in to Astin? Besides, look outside. It's beautiful! It's probably going to turn north and just skim up the coast like they said last night in the bar."
Billy turned and glared at Elijah, who pushed off the counter stating he was going to go turn on The Weather Channel.
~
They spent the next hour getting ready for their dive at the Benwood Wreck. Elijah, however, was glued to the television. Dom tried to pull him away physically, but Elijah resisted, saying the reports of the hurricane were almost mesmerizing. Laughing at him Orlando unplugged the telly and threw him over his shoulder.
"No way, Doodle. Let's go look at a shipwreck!"
~
Their dive was cut short however, by the impending storm. The boat captain called all the divers in from the water stating that a hurricane watch was now in affect for the Keys and voluntary evacuations were being asked for. Billy inquired of the captain exactly what was a 'watch'.
"Just means that hurricane conditions are possible within 36 hours. More than likely this storm with just turn and skirt up the coast, but you never know. People didn't take heed with Andrew and look what happened."
Elijah leaned closer. "I remember that. That was what, 10 years ago. Huge ass storm. Wiped out some town here right?"
The captain shook his head in agreement. "12 years ago actually. Homestead was destroyed. That's a bit north, but not far. People didn't believe the warnings. The Keys is not a place to get stuck during a bad one. One way in, one way out. Highway 1 gets flooded and you're stuck."
Billy glared at Dom and Orlando who smiled in return. Looking back at the captain Billy asked, "So, you are going to leave till the storm is over, right?"
Raising his eyebrows and smiling, the captain answered, "Oh, no. I'll just tie up the ole Miss Adventure here," he patted the side of the boat, "and ride out the storm at my neighbor's Hurricane Party!"
Billy could hear Elijah giggle and Orlando and Dom laughing heartily as he stalked to the back of the boat.
*Category 3- 111-130 mph. Some structural damage to small residences and utility buildings with a minor amount of curtainwall failures. Mobile homes are destroyed. Flooding near the coast destroys smaller structures with larger structures damaged by floating debris. Terrain continuously lower than 5 feet ASL may be flooded inland 8 miles or more.
*Hurricane Drink - 1 oz Vodka, 1/4 oz Grenadine, 1 oz Gin, 1 oz Light Rum, 1/2 oz Bacardi 151 Proof Rum, 1 oz Amaretto, Almond Liqueur, 1 oz Triple Sec, Grapefruit Juice, Pineapple Juice
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Here's hoping all is well in your part of Florida!
(And of course, through all of this Charley stuff, I'm picturing Lost!Dom, because I'm fangirlish like that :P)
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I've seen other grammar, punctuation and phrasing issues scattered throughout, but to point them out would be almost a beta reading in itself.
As always, this needs a good, thorough beta reader to polish it up.
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I will say that the dialogue, and by extension the characterisation, is rather clunky. "Being blown across Key Largo to an untimely death isn't worth the money we forked out Lij!" just doesn't work, for example.
This reads more like a draft than a finished chapter. What you should do is write a few more chapters, get the plotline planned, then work on it with a beta reader, getting the first three or four chapters and some plot development going before posting.
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I'm not really looking for crit good or bad, I just wanted to share my fic. I've said it before, I just write for my own enjoyment and to hopefully make new friends.
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Now I'm sure she can defend herself, but she has chosen to be much kinder to you than you have to her. Please stop tearing her work down. I, along with many others, enjoy her work very much. Everyone is entitled to their opinion, however tasteless that opinion may be. Do us all a favor and keep your's to yourself.
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Actually, I spent hours over a period of a couple of days beta reading another fic of
I have tried to help her, or 'be kind' as you put it.
Anyway, posting your fic to communities implies that you want people's opinions, good or bad.
I don't want to get dragged into wank here, and I'll not comment any more on this, but I will say that I'm not just someone being a critical bitch- I honestly put a lot of time and effort into beta work for her, out of a genuine desire to help.
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If someone wants to write without a beta, fine. They'd better know what they are doing unless they WANT people to be critical and mock them.
If
Or, that could be me just using Earth Logic again. God knows that sort of thing doesn't apply in this community very much anymore.
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I hear you, man.
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I guess that's what I think it's about--intentions. I have watched your criticism be hurtful. People generally respond to criticism in the light which they believe it is given. I understand your desire not to respond to this, and I respect that. I write this expecting to hear nothing in return. Do you see how your particular way of consistently criticizing the same person, criticizing those that happen to post her name somewhere on their fiction, and the gathering of those associated w/ you, against that same person, could be seen as a direct attack?
Someone that appears to know you, said something regarding this being a public community. She is correct, but I strongly disagree w/ the idea that because something is public, someone should take the criticism so frequently thrown at them. Then again, I suppose the ability to take comments w/ a grain of salt is to be admired. For example, you choosing not to respond to me is admirable.
My post was harsher than it needed to be, and for that, I am sorry. I call things like I see them, not as they always are. Only you know the heart in which you criticize; that is something I cannot judge.
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I'm sorry, what is tasteless? I see a well constructed answer that happens to be negative. A writer can only develop. That is, if they WISH to. I'd rather someone tell me I looked bad in this shirt than have someone lie and let me embarass myself.
Also, how can everyone be entitled to their opinion if you tell them... they basically aren't? 'Entitled' means someone having the right to claim to something. Telling her to keep it to herself takes away that right.
Just my 2 cents.
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It bothers me a lot to watch someone be put through the ringer so many times and still accept it. I do thank you for sharing your two cents. I, also, thank you for being able to share your opinion in a better way than I did, my first try.
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I'm glad you were understanding. I'm surprised, I'm so used to unlogical people that it has truly poisoned me @.@
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On with the review:
GREAT! XD I'd like to see some Billy!Torture and Dom!Comfort. ^_~ More chapters in your journal you say?? Hmmm.....*contemplates then discreetly goes to stalk you*
Robin Gurl
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Hello darling,
All types of weather are fantasticly sexy wether it's heat and sun or rain, mist, balmy summer afternoons or the crisp winter days. A hurricane opens up all sorts of possibilities. Perhaps the fiercest weather around.
Good luck riding out Charley. We are braced for the mild after shocks in the north east. (We adore any weather and make much of it.)
Would you mind a new friend? You seem sweet.
Hyacinth
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Grammer's great.
Friends are better.
I've got typo's too. Loads.
winks
H
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Btw...i love this fic but u knew that already ^___^
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People will criticize if you post publicly. That's the the way fic communities work. Unless you just want blind praise and to never develop as a writer.
Whoops. there I go with the Earth Logic again.
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Isn't this all just suppose to be for our own entertainment? I mean it's not English Comp 101!!
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Why? Who knows...
What I have come to realize is this: Whenever Desire_Billy posts, L_S_Q criticizes. That, and for some reason, I've never seen L_S_Q criticize anyone else. It's probably like they tell you in grammar school: You harp on the people of which you are truly jealous.
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-- Malin
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I'm from Oklahoma...
The guys have no clue what they are in for...
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Re: I'm from Oklahoma...
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