response to lotrpschallenge #4

[chicken-scratch.livejournal.com]

am so puzzled that i wrote this; usually, i'm a READER, but for some reason i saw this challenge, kicked open a notepad, and had at it.

forgive the lack of imagination in conjuring screen names; it's hard enough for me to create my own >_<

title: The Coveted Elbow Massage
author: me! (usually comment here under my personal journal, standing)
rating: pg13 for some innuendo and light swearing
disclaimer: i am silly and make up stories; i don't own boys or the concept of IM
summary: flirting is so much easier over the net
note: i think i actually got the opening joke from one of elvea87's icons >_< thank you, dearest.




stardm1276: so theres these two muffins in an oven right
stardm1276: and the first muffin says ahhh! were in an oven!
stardm1276: and the second muffin says HOLLY SHIT. A TALKING MUFFIN

misterboyd: lol nice, dom
misterboyd: whats up?

stardm1276: nothing, how are you this fine.. night??.. boydy boyd

misterboyd: night, yes, 11
misterboyd: and just lovely, like a warm tub .. ypu?
misterboyd: you

stardm1276: just peachy, maybe not exaclty warm tub but pretty close
stardm1276: could do with an elbow amassge perhaps

misterboyd: to bad yer in the states, ive gotten awards for my elbow massages

stardm1276: too bad indeed, guess ill just have to take a rainckeck
stardm1276: or some sort of comepnsatory favor to make up for thsi travesty

misterboyd: was that innuendo i detected, sir monaghan

stardm1276: ESQUIRE, if you please sir, and it very well mght have been

misterboyd: ali's in bed

stardm1276: REALLY NOW
stardm1276: and if im not mistaken that may have just been innuendo on your part, herr boyd

misterboyd: clearly you read fartoo much into things, i was simply stating a fact
misterboyd: much like, well dom, the sky is blue .. or your package is much much smaller than mine

stardm1276: smaller!

misterboyd: cant refute evidence dom, we can call viggo and review the photos if you like

stardm1276: fuck you adn your malicious scheming against my manhood
stardm1276: no best friend benefit sex for you EVER

misterboyd: and here i was getting my hopes uo
misterboyd: up

stardm1276: well maybe jsut a little snuggle

misterboyd: a nuzzle, if you will?

stardm1276: a quick SPOONING

misterboyd: how bout a kiss?

stardm1276: onyl if you keep your clothes on, my little love muffin

misterboyd: you tease

stardm1276: look whos talking .. fucking bastard

misterboyd: i cant help it if your wooed by my endless charm and snugglability
misterboyd: and my larger package

stardm1276: you have a mean streak bill you really do, i feel bad for the poor folkd who think youre all NICE and KIND
stardm1276: youre a goddamn hell minion

misterboyd: that gives wonderful elbow massages

stardm1276: speakign of, when exactly do i get one of thse coveted ministraitions
stardm1276: any plans to come stateside? elijahs been whining about it like a little yanky girl
stardm1276: when the lot of us will get together,balh blah hes almost as girly as you

misterboyd: i dunno actually, but now that you mention it i might be able to get something for next month,???
misterboyd: will check with the bookie
misterboyd: agent, i mean

stardm1276: right, nnice, youll stay at mine then?

misterboyd: course

stardm1276: choice, mate
stardm1276: ill be holding you to that massage too so you better practice

misterboyd: ill make a grade a effort lol
misterboyd: if it goes well enoguh do i get the spooning then?

stardm1276: dont rush yourself bill, well get to that when the time comes

misterboyd: right
misterboyd: well, heading off now i think

stardm1276: alright, have a good one bill..and let mek now plans as they develop yeah? so i cna relay to lij

misterboyd: ill do that

stardm1276: id tell you to wish ali well for me but i would rather see her trampled by a herd of shetland ponies

misterboyd: lol i know you would
misterboyd: night dom

stardm1276: no really

misterboyd: i know

stardm1276: im sorry but i bet im a way better kisser than she is

misterboyd: easy, dom

stardm1276: yikes im ruffling teh feathers again, sorry bills
stardm1276: but when it turns out shes actually a wrinkled haggard green pod person, yuo know werhe i live

misterboyd: lol that i do
misterboyd: night

stardm1276: night :)

Billy closes the screen to his laptop slowly and is bathed in the darkness of the room. He sits for a moment, adjusting his eyes and trying to shake out the butterflies in his stomach. He practically has to pull off the tiny smile that has been etched on his face.

In the bedroom, he slides in behind Ali but finds that he keeps his arms to himself; for some reason, something would feel slightly wrong about touching her tonight.

Comments

[standing.livejournal.com]

buah thank god i am witty >_< i'm so glad you liked it! there is the eminent fear, when posting comedy fic, that the proverbial crickets will chirp. guhhh *relief* thank you so much for the comment.