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[maidenvixen.livejournal.com]

A mini-series of drabbles
past BB/DM, implied BB/OB
G
Title: Insomnia.
Summary: Three men lay awake.



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I wish you would just notice me again Billy, I wish just once some of that inexplicable light from your eyes shone in my direction, like it only did before.

I may not have his brown glaze or his lanky way of making everything peaceful and fun, but i love you - still. Is that not enough?
Isn't it enough that I would give you my everything without ever looking back?

Can't you forget what happened? Can't you forget what changed? Can't it return to love once more?
I can see you watching me, watching you, watching him.
Yes it does hurt, yes i am confused, yes i am jealous but why must you resort to callousness?

Billy, free me.
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It's different now - it’s changed. People live their lives day to day. I live my lie.
It’s not that I’ve changed or I’m different, it’s that you have, you are; so we couldn’t.
I’m sorry. Not that we ended but that we happened. So many scars I bear upon my soul, so many bruises wear my heart, so many tears I can never reclaim from my nights.
I cannot forget Dom, I will not forgive.
Until.
Until you recede to whom you were. Until you know that was are the same. Until you realise that I’m not trying to hurt you, I’m trying to love you.
He is no replacement, no substitute. A distraction, an outlet, an open heart to love me back completely and perhaps, yes, revenge.
You don’t know what you’ve got till its gone.
I’m gone Dominic.


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To be playing on the sideline is something new.
It’s something I’m not sure whether or not to enjoy, to taste, to love.
It was a pity it stopped, it was a joy you were free.
He fell into my arms like a wounded child, you held that bow Dominic, is your quiver still full?
You bound me to your wounds Billy. A cover, a plaster, not to heal but to protect.
I’m no in-between, I am beside.
Love me or leave me but do not do both. I love you both Dom and Billy, together. Always.
Release me again.

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TBC probably...