monaboyd | (no subject)

Title: Shattered
Author:

chucks_arecomfy
Pairing: Dom/Billy...
Rating: PG13 (for mass confusion - and not in a humorous way)
Summary: When I’m alone sometimes, I try to understand...what things have meaning?" ::Dum Dums::
Disclaimer: I don't own these guys. It's not real, or at least I suppose not.
Author's Notes: This is a bit confusing. I just dare you to read it and tell me you almost understand it. Because almost understanding, is almost the same as fully understanding...right?

You’re a reckless excuse for empathy.

In that old blue shirt, covering the top of your too-loose pair of worn khaki cutoffs, you almost seem like you could understand anything. Almost. I watch as your white cotton socks slide across the wood floor. If you’d have lost the khakis at that moment in exchange for a pair of dark shades, I might have just mistaken you for Tom Cruise. God help me.

Once upon a time, life seemed as simple between us as asking, “hey, is black really a color?” But now, we’ve grown. Things have changed. People, places…fuck…entire lives have changed. And ceased to exist.

My eyes follow the tanned muscles of your body. I watch them ripple as they move to pick up the refinished Fender Strat from its guitar rest. Was I right to teach you how to play? Long, de-ringed fingers sliding back and forth repetitively across the strings, diligently making their mark: is this the kind of impression that I left on you?

I feel a pang in my heart…in my soul…at the thought. Gazing down at my bare arm, tracing the thin white lines once put there with such precision, such painstaking hurt: is this the kind of impression that you left on me?

The pounding realization that it should have been, is but a dull thud against me now. Like hail that melts before it reaches the ground. Metaphorically speaking, that is.

Sound drifts from the next room as the first few notes are picked out slowly on the classic six string. My hand shifts toward the photo frame on the table next to me. We’re together in the picture, with our friends, our true family…before everything went downhill…before everything that changed was finalized.

I ponder on it all: life, love, loss… And I wonder what comes out of it in the end. This. This is what spawns from an enlightened life darkened by the over looming shadow of tomorrow.

The photo frame has been lying on the table for months.

Shattered.