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monaboyd Mar. 22nd, 2004 11:40 am)
desire-billy.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Mar. 22nd, 2004 11:40 am)Title: What The Future May Hold Part 2
Author: desire_billy
Pairing: Billy/Dom, Dom/OP, Billy/Ali
Rating: R
Feedback: Please
Author's Notes:
Summary: The year is 2007. Billy and Dom have not spoken since that day at Dom’s when Billy lied about loving her. See fic ‘Words Are Trivial’. Part 1 of this fic can be found here.
The next morning Billy woke and sat on the balcony thinking about the mess he was in. He knew the only, and the best thing he could do, would be to reconnect with Dom as friends. Billy needed a friend like Dom again. His marriage was in real trouble, and it would be nice to have someone to really talk too. He could talk to one of the others, but it wasn’t the same.
Billy put on his swim trunks, short sleeved button up shirt and some sandals. He grabbed some extra clothes and headed out the door. He had arranged for a rental car to be there for him. He spoke with the front desk and got the car keys and headed for Dom’s.
He rolled the window’s down and played the music too loud. It was a beautiful day and he was really looking forward to a surf. He was also looking forward to being Dom’s friend again. As he pulled into Dom’s drive he saw a black Lexus. He assumed it must be Stewart’s.
“Probably spent the night,” Billy thought. He took a deep breath. “Ok, that’s OK. I’m good. I’m fine.”
Billy walked to the front door and rang the bell. Stewart answered it and smiled. “Billy hey! Great day for a surf man!”
Billy looked Stewart up and down. He was dressed in black dress pants, and an indigo silk shirt. “I didn’t realize surfing had gotten so formal.”
Stewart laughed as he stepped back so Billy could enter. As Billy looked around he had an instant flash back to the day he said good bye to Dom right there in that very hall. He moved quickly to the living room.
Everything was different. New furniture, new paintings and even new carpet. Dom came out of the kitchen in just his swim trunks. Billy couldn’t help but stare at him. Dom had obviously been working out. His shoulders, arms and chest were bigger. His stomach tighter and even more cut than before.
Dom smiled at Billy and asked, “You want some coffee or tea?”
“Tea would be great.” Dom nodded and looked at Stewart, “Did you tell him?”
Stewart shook his head and said, “No, not yet.”
He turned to Billy, “I don’t really surf in my best clothes. When I got home last night there was a message from my editor. I got the assignment in South America! But I leave in a few hours! I came by to tell Dominic good bye. Sorry our visit was so short.”
Billy saw Dom smile and retreat into the kitchen. Billy looked at Stewart and began, “Me too, it was great…..”
Stewart grabbing his arm and leading him back into the hall cut Billy’s sentence short.
Stewart’s entire demeanor changed. He turned dark and serious. “Listen here Bill, I know what’s going on. Don’t think I don’t. Every time I look into a mirror I see a man deeply in love with Dominic Monaghan. I see that same man when I look at you.”
Billy opened his mouth to deny it, but Stewart cut him off. “Don’t even think about denying it, Bill. I know everything. I know about the little scene here in this very hall. I even know why you did it. Dominic still thinks you never loved him, but I know better. I know the fear of realizing you’ve fallen in love with a man. It took me years to make peace with who I am, and it took even longer to find Dominic.”
Billy looked at Stewart stunned. He did not realize his feelings were so obvious. Did Dom realize it also? No, Stewart just said so, but….
Stewart continued, “Dom wants to be your friend again, and I want him to be happy. I would do anything to make him happy. I can sit back and watch your friendship rekindle, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit back and let you hurt him again. I love him, so trust me when I say I will fight you for him with every fiber of my being.”
Billy did not like being threatened. He knew Stewart loved Dom and Dom more than likely loved him back, but he was not going to let Stewart intimidate him. He pulled his wrist from Stewart grasp. “I don’t want to hurt Dom any more than you. I’ll do whatever Dom wants me to do to make him happy.” Let Stewart think about that while he’s out saving the trees.
Stewart glared at him then said, “This conversation never happened.”
He walked out of the hall. Billy followed him and watched him walk into the kitchen. Billy sat on the couch taking in what Stewart had said. Billy now hated him; good. He could hear Dom laughing and Stewart’s voice lowering as he told Dom good bye.
Billy watched as they walked out of the kitchen hand in hand. Stewart holding Billy’s tea. He handed it to Billy with a smile on his face, but his eyes were still dark. Dom was none the wiser. “Here you go Billy, enjoy.”
Stewart turned to Dom and said, “Well, I need to head off to the airport.”
Dom looked at Stewart, “I feel bad not taking you to the airport.”
Stewart smiled and put a hand on Dom’s cheek, “Don’t love. You stay here and spend time with Billy. You two have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll be home in a few weeks.”
Stewart turned to Billy, “Is was great meeting you man. Next time hopefully, I’ll be able to stick around!”
He laughed and let go of Dom’s hand to wrap Billy in an embrace.
Billy was amazed at how quickly this man could change his demeanor. Billy followed Stewart’s lead, and hugged him back and laughed. As they pulled away from each other Billy smiled and said, “Be careful and good luck.”
Stewart caught Billy’s hidden meaning. He looked him in the eyes and smirked, “Thanks, but I doubt that I’ll need it.”
Billy just raised an eyebrow while he smiled back. Dom had been standing behind Stewart so he missed Billy’s expression.
Dom took Stewart’s hand and looked at Billy, “I’m just going to walk him out. Be right back.”
Billy sat back down as Dom and Stewart walked out. He sipped his tea that Dom had made him. Dom still knew how to make it just like Billy liked it. For some reason this gave Billy hope.
Billy leaned back and covered his face with his hands as he thought, “I don’t want to hurt Dom. I want him to be happy, but damn it I love him. Shit, Stewart would fight me for him, and probably win. Still….what was that last night at my door?”
Billy slid his hands from his face to behind his head; his fingers laced together in his hair. His head was resting back and his eyes were closed. He stretched and let his legs rest up on the coffee table. He did not hear Dom enter the room.
Dom stood there looking at Billy. It was such a familiar site. Billy in his house, making himself comfortable. Billy’s hands were behind his head making his biceps flex. Dom wondered how many times had he tied Billy up in that position. Billy’s legs were extended out in front of him, showing Dom the cut of his thigh muscles. The position of Billy’s arms made his shirt lay open showing off Billy’s chest and the blonde hair that felt like pure silk to the touch. Billy rarely buttoned the top four buttons on any shirt. Dom cursed himself for still being turned on by just the sight of Billy.
“Entertaining a thought, Bills?” Billy jumped.
“Damn Dom, this new carpet must be thick. I didn’t hear you walk in.” Dom walked over to the couch and sat at the opposite end of it from Billy. Billy knew that in the past Dom would have sat right next to him. Touching shoulders, but those days were gone, maybe.
“Dom, are you alright?”
Dom looked at Billy and asked, “Sure, why?”
Billy leaned forward slightly; “Does Stewart usually stay away for weeks at a time while on assignment?”
Dom sighed and replied, “Well yes, but his assignments are always important. He only takes the assignments that mean something to him.” Dom smiled then added, “Or me.”
Billy knew this made Dom happy. He really hated Stewart now. Billy sat back and looked around the room. Dom had filled the room with expensive furniture and expensive artwork. That’s when Billy noticed that in all of the pictures of friends and family that were expertly placed around the room he was not in any. In fact he was positive the one of pictures of Elijah and Dom in New Zealand had actually been blown up to fit the frame while cutting him out.
“You like the way I redid the place?” Dom asked with a smile.
Billy looked around, “Yea, it nice. Looks like Dommie has grown up.” The nickname slipped out before he could stop himself.
Dom’s eyes widened and the smile left his face.
“Shit, Dom, I’m sorry. It just slipped out. This just feels so familiar, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t call you that anymore. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“No, it’s fine really.” Dom licked his lips, which made Billy’s stomach flutter. “It’s just been a long time since I’ve heard you call me that.”
Billy studied Dom’s face trying to read it. “I notice Stewart just calls you Dominic.”
“He says it fits my persona better than Dom.” Dom shrugged not believing that to be true. “No one ever called me Dommie, but you. I don’t think it’s ever occurred to him to call me that. I wouldn’t want him too anyway.”
Billy looked away. “Too many bad memories, huh?”
Dom’s voice lowered as he said, “No, actually it reminds me of all our good times. I wouldn’t let Stewart call me something that was only between us.”
Billy looked up and over at Dom. “We did have some good times didn’t we?”
Dom held Billy’s gaze, “Yes we did. We had a lot of good time. I miss those times Bill.”
Billy could feel his heart ache. He wanted to hold Dom and tell him he loved him. He wanted to make the world disappear so he could be with Dom forever. As Billy was trying to read what Dom was thinking, Dom bit into his lower lip.
Billy breathed deeply as he knew what that meant, “Oh, Dommie. I've missed them too.”
Dom could feel the chill bumps form all over his body as he closed his eyes and whispered, “Oh Billy, I’ve missed you so much.”
Billy could see the chill bumps all over Dom’s body. His eyes traveled to Dom’s chest. He could see Dom’s nipples harden.
Billy’s breathing quickened and then he could feel the chill bumps on his own body. His cock twitched with desire. He wanted to touch Dom. He wanted to suck his erect nipples. The tip of Billy’s tongue played with his upper lip.
Dom opened his eyes and saw Billy’s tongue showing Dom what he wanted to do him. He knew Billy wanted him. He fought the desire to let Billy take him. Dom had spent too many years gaining his self-respect back. Billy had always just wanted sex from him. At least that is what Billy lead him to believe when they said good bye three years ago.
Dom began to shake his head no. “I won’t let you do this to me again. I’ve found a man who loves me, I won’t let you use me again, Billy.” Dom said this to Billy as much as he did to himself. The words stung Billy.
“I never used you Dommie.” Billy moved closer to Dom. “I cherished every moment I spent with you. Our physical attraction to one another was so strong it seemed to be the only thing between us at times. But there was so much more. Dommie you meant everything to me. I was a fool when I left here that day, I should have told you. I should have told you that I…” Stewart’s warning played again in his head.
Dom held his breath. What was Billy going to say? Love? Could he? “What Billy? Tell me what?”
Billy ran his hands through his hair and closed his eyes. He knew he couldn’t say it. Not now. It was too late. Even if Dom fell into his arms now, Stewart would just take him back.
Billy opened his eyes and said, “This is wrong, Dom. I should leave.” Billy got up and started to walk out the house.
Dom needed to hear Billy tell him he loved him. He needed to know he had not been alone in that relationship. Dom had told Billy so many times he loved him, and Billy had only returned it a handful of times. Dom had convinced himself he was over Billy. Over the pain, but is was a fresh wound again. He ached to be in Billy’s arms. He couldn’t let him leave. Not again. Not yet.
“Billy, wait.”
Billy stopped and turned to look at Dom. It was as if they had gone back in time three years. Dom looked just as hurt as he did that day. Dom looked into Billy’s eyes pleading for Billy to say it.
“Billy, please.” Dom was so afraid. He swallowed hard to keep himself from begging Billy to tell him.
Billy looked at Dom hungrily. He had never wanted Dom more. He closed his eyes, and said through clenched teeth, “I have to do the right thing Dom. You are with Stewart now, and I’m a married man for God’s sake. It’s too late for me. Stewart makes you happy.”
Dom couldn’t stop himself. He stood and walked to Billy. Dom was standing so close Billy could feel his breath on his cheek.
“Please Billy. What should you have told me? Please, don’t you at least owe me that?”
“Dommie,” Billy whispered. He opened his eyes. Dom’s eyes were so damn seductive. His lips were partly open and his skin was freshly clean-shaven. Billy could smell the shaving lotion scent still clinging to him. It took all of Billy’s courage and strength to back away from Dom.
Dom took a deep breath and said, “Well, just as I figured. Some things never change eh, Bill? Still think of me as nothing more than your fuck buddy huh?” Dom walked away from Billy.
Billy’s mind told him to just leave. Let it be. "Let Dom hate you," his mind told him. Dom had Stewart. Stewart was good for Dom. Dom loved him. Then suddenly Billy thought, “Maybe he doesn’t.”
Billy felt so angry with himself. He knew what he was about to do was wrong, but for all his good intentions, he could not stop himself.
Billy walked into the living room after Dom. Just as Billy was opening his mouth to talk he heard a cell phone ring. It was not his, so he looked around. He watched Dom walk to the end table and pick up his cell phone.
“Probably Stewart,” Billy thought. He waited to see the look of happiness to develop on Dom’s face. Instead Dom looked at the phone then turned to Billy with a look of surprise.
He held the ringing phone out to Billy and said, “It’s you. Well, it’s your home number on the ID.”
Billy looked confused for a moment, then realized Ali must have found the paper that he had lost with Dom’s cell number on it. She knew the LA area code. She also knew the first person Billy always wanted to see was Dom.
Billy took the phone from Dom’s hand to answer it. Dom tried to take the phone back saying, “No, Bill! She’ll be pissed you’re with me. Don’t!”
Billy didn’t care anymore. He answered the phone. “What is it Ali?”
Her voice was cold and filled with disgust as she said; “Whose phone is this Bill? Dom’s?”
“Yes, Ali it is. In fact I’m in his house right now. Why are you calling his phone? I do have my own, remember?”
“I found it on this morning. Knew it wasn’t one of the other gent’s numbers. What are you doing there? Thought you two hated each other?”
Billy sighed. He was tired of playing this little game of hers. “What do you what Ali? Is there no one there you can torment?”
He heard her take a deep breath. “He doesn’t want you anymore Billy. He has someone now.”
Billy smiled at her attempt to hurt him. “Nice try but it won’t work. Go back to your boyfriend Ali and leave me alone.”
Billy hung up and saw Dom looking at him with his mouth hanging open.
He handed the phone back to Dom and said, “My marriage ended over a year ago. She has been having an affair for months. She thought I didn’t know. I knew, I just didn’t care.”
Dom stepped closer to Billy. He truly felt bad for Billy. No matter what Billy had done to him, he had always been his friend. Dom hated seeing his friend so unhappy. Dom wanted to see Billy smile.
“Billy, I’m so sorry. You know, you really suck at relationships.”
Billy looked up at Dom and a smile grew across his face. He knew he had to tell Dom the truth.
Running his hands through his hair he said, “Dom, I owe you the truth.”
Dom gave no response; he just stood there waiting.
Billy sat on the couch and told Dom the truth. “I lied that day three years ago. I told you I loved her more than anything. Hell I didn’t even love her! I was afraid Dom. Afraid to love you the way I wanted to. Afraid to be open to the world about us. Fuck, Dom you deserved better than that. I knew that if I told you the truth you’d manage to make me stay and I could never make you happy. At least not like Stewart seems to…” Billy felt the full brunt of his pain. Tears formed in his eyes threatening to flood the room.
Dom saw a tear running down Billy’s cheek. He walked over to Billy and stood in front of him, “Billy?”
“Dom, do you love him?”
“Why are you doing this Billy?”
Billy looked up at Dom. In that moment Stewart did not exists. Billy stood and wrapped one arm around Dom’s waist and the other around his neck. Dom tried to step back, but Billy pulled him closer.
“No, Billy, please. Don’t do this to me. I can’t handle you breaking my heart again, please Billy.”
“I don’t want to hurt you Dommie. I want to love you. I want to show you how much I’ve always loved you.”
Dom raised his hands to Billy’s chest pushing him away. His eyes wide with fear, “Billy don’t say things you’re not prepared to deal with. God, Billy I’ve waited so long to hear you say that again, please don’t hurt me anymore.”
Billy took Dom’s mouth passionately. He could hear Dom moan and feel his body melt into his. Dom’s arms wrapped around Billy’s neck. Their tongues fighting for dominance. Their hips in motion with one another. Billy pulled Dom closer. Billy felt so alive.
“Dommie, I love you, do you hear me, I love you. Please forgive me, please I need you. You mean everything to mean. Let me make you happy. Let me love you.”
Dom’s head was spinning. Billy loved him. Dom pulled away from Billy enough to look into his eyes. He could see Billy was telling the truth. “Yes, Billy, yes. I love you too.”
Billy nipped at Dom’s neck eliciting a growl from Dom. Dom was pushing his hips against Billy’s. He wanted to feel Billy again. He wanted to taste Billy; he wanted to take Billy for himself again.
Billy was licking and kissing Dom’s chest. Dom was holding onto Billy’s shoulders as he leaned back giving Billy full access to his chest. He watched Billy expertly lick his nipples and make them erect. Billy looked up at him, their eyes meeting as Billy raked his teeth over the taught bud.
Dom hissed as his entire body began to quiver. “Fuck Billy, no one makes me feel like you do. No one! Please Billy please take me now.”
Billy moaned at the sound of Dom’s urgency. Billy lowered himself to his knees keeping eye contact with Dom. “Oh God, Billy yes. Oh baby please.”
Dom ran his fingers through Billy hair. Billy smiled. He unhooked Dom’s swim trunks and pulled them down. As Dom’s rock hard cock sprang out to him his breathing quickened and his mouth began to water. He sucked on the tip causing Dom to cry out his name.
“Billy! Oh do it.”
Billy wanted to go slow, but it’s been so long since he’d had Dom. He cupped Dom’s balls letting his middle finger drift back and rub that space just behind his balls as he took him fully in his mouth. Dom grabbed at Billy’s hair and thrust himself harder into Billy’s mouth.
Billy moved his hands up Dom’s thighs and over his tight stomach. He could feel each muscle ripple. Slowly he ran his hands back down Dom’s thighs and back up to his ass. Billy moved his mouth over the entire length of Dom as he squeezed Dom’s ass.
“Fuck, Billy. I want this so much.” Dom pulled at Billy’s arms. “Stand up love, please, let’s move this to the bedroom.”
Billy stood up and kissed Dom. He let his hand grasp Dom’s cock. As Dom stepped out of his shorts he started pushing Billy down the hallway to the bedroom. Billy pulled on Dom’s erection. Dom was kissing Billy’s neck as his hands unbuttoned Billy’s shirt. They were kissing and stroking and bumping into walls knocking down pictures but neither care. All they could see and hear were each other.
Dom had pulled Billy's shorts down enough so he could pump Billy’s cock as he bit Billy’s chest. “Billy, I love you. Love you so much.”
“Oh Dommie, yes. I want to scream it to the world. I love you!”
As they tumbled into Dom’s bedroom they bumped into the dresser sending a framed picture crashing to the floor. As they heard the glass shatter they both looked down.
It’s a picture of Dom and Stewart. They were in each other’s arms kissing. Dom closed his eyes and pushed away from Billy. He bent down and picked up the picture. Billy could see the guilt flow across Dom’s face. Dom moved away from Billy. He put on a pair of shorts he picked up off the bed.
Billy tried to compose himself, pulling his shorts up and asked, “Dom, do you really love him?”
Dom looked down at the picture in his hands. It had been taken three months ago on the beach. Stewart was a wonderful man. He was honest, sincere and funny. He had helped Dom straighten out his life. Because of Stewart he no longer felt the need for abusive sex or self-abuse. Because of Stewart Dom no longer had suspicious bruises or burn marks.
Dom had even stopped writing on his body. Stewart was supposed to be the answer to all the things Dom had ever written on himself. He had opened Dom’s eyes to a whole new world. He loved Dom.
Dom looked up at Billy. Billy’s hair was sticking out every which way. His shirt was hanging open and there were red marks where Dom had been biting. His swim trunks bulging with his erection. But it was Billy’s eyes that spoke loudest to Dom. So full of love.
Dom knew one of the reasons he had started dating Stewart was because his eyes reminded him of Billy’s. They were not as bright or as captivating, but Dom had found it easy to look into Stewart’s eyes and pretend it was Billy. Everything was Billy. No matter how much Dom had tried to erase Billy from his life he was still there.
Billy walked closer to Dom and put his hand on Dom’s cheek. He was hurt. When Dom did not answer him, he took it as a yes to his question. “I’m sorry Dom. I had no right to do this. All I want is for you to be happy. If it’s Stewart that makes you happy I’ll back away.”
As much as Billy did not want to hear those words from Dom he had to know. “Tell me you love him and I’ll leave.”
Dom couldn’t speak. He was so conflicted. He wanted Billy. He had always wanted Billy. But Stewart loved him and he knew Stewart would always be there. Dom did love Stewart. Not like he loved Billy, but it was still love.
The longer Dom stayed quite the more Billy’s heart died. Billy took his hand away from Dom’s face as he looked away. He had his answer. It was over. He had lost Dom forever. He was going to be alone. He would go home and file for a divorce. He would spend the rest of his life loving a man he could no longer have.
“Tell me Dom. Tell me so I won’t wonder what if for the rest of my life. Finish this Dom.”
Dom closed his eyes and whispered, “I love him.”
Billy had only felt this kind of pain twice before now. Once when his father died and again when his mother died. His body was racked in agony as he looked at Dom. He fought the urge to beg him to take him back and give him another chance.
“I love you Dom. You will always be my one true love. Always.” Billy turned and walked out.
Dom sat on the bed not feeling till he heard the front door close. Then he fell over on his side and sobbed. He loved Billy so much, but he could not take the chance that Billy would hurt him again. He barely lived through it the first time. He had something special with Stewart. He could not throw it all away. Dom curled up into a fetal position and cried harder than ever had in the past.
~
Three months later Billy was sitting at the breakfast table in his kitchen on a cold and rainy day in Scotland. He had been divorced for exactly 48 hours. He didn’t feel any different though. He was still hurting for Dom. Ali had not fought the divorce. She had fallen in love with another man, so she was glad to get out of the marriage.
Billy fought with himself every morning just to get out of bed and brush his teeth. He found it very hard to find a reason to do it some days.
This particular morning he had stayed in bed till 10am. Once he had drug himself out of bed he took a shower. He had walked downstairs listening to how deathly quite it was in his home. He sat in the kitchen drinking luke-warm tea trying to think of a reason not to go back to bed when the door-bell rang.
Billy sighed and walked to the front door. He opened the door and froze. There stood Dom with two suitcases by his side.
Billy looked at the suitcases and said, “Dom?”
Dom smiled and said, “Call me Dommie.”
Billy smiled and wrapped his arms around Dom, “Oh Dommie, I love you.”
Dom held Billy tightly, “I love you too Billy. I couldn’t stay with him another minute. I needed my Bills.”
Billy pulled back and looked into Dom’s eyes, “I’m here Dommie. I’m all yours, forever.”
Author: desire_billy
Pairing: Billy/Dom, Dom/OP, Billy/Ali
Rating: R
Feedback: Please
Author's Notes:
Summary: The year is 2007. Billy and Dom have not spoken since that day at Dom’s when Billy lied about loving her. See fic ‘Words Are Trivial’. Part 1 of this fic can be found here.
The next morning Billy woke and sat on the balcony thinking about the mess he was in. He knew the only, and the best thing he could do, would be to reconnect with Dom as friends. Billy needed a friend like Dom again. His marriage was in real trouble, and it would be nice to have someone to really talk too. He could talk to one of the others, but it wasn’t the same.
Billy put on his swim trunks, short sleeved button up shirt and some sandals. He grabbed some extra clothes and headed out the door. He had arranged for a rental car to be there for him. He spoke with the front desk and got the car keys and headed for Dom’s.
He rolled the window’s down and played the music too loud. It was a beautiful day and he was really looking forward to a surf. He was also looking forward to being Dom’s friend again. As he pulled into Dom’s drive he saw a black Lexus. He assumed it must be Stewart’s.
“Probably spent the night,” Billy thought. He took a deep breath. “Ok, that’s OK. I’m good. I’m fine.”
Billy walked to the front door and rang the bell. Stewart answered it and smiled. “Billy hey! Great day for a surf man!”
Billy looked Stewart up and down. He was dressed in black dress pants, and an indigo silk shirt. “I didn’t realize surfing had gotten so formal.”
Stewart laughed as he stepped back so Billy could enter. As Billy looked around he had an instant flash back to the day he said good bye to Dom right there in that very hall. He moved quickly to the living room.
Everything was different. New furniture, new paintings and even new carpet. Dom came out of the kitchen in just his swim trunks. Billy couldn’t help but stare at him. Dom had obviously been working out. His shoulders, arms and chest were bigger. His stomach tighter and even more cut than before.
Dom smiled at Billy and asked, “You want some coffee or tea?”
“Tea would be great.” Dom nodded and looked at Stewart, “Did you tell him?”
Stewart shook his head and said, “No, not yet.”
He turned to Billy, “I don’t really surf in my best clothes. When I got home last night there was a message from my editor. I got the assignment in South America! But I leave in a few hours! I came by to tell Dominic good bye. Sorry our visit was so short.”
Billy saw Dom smile and retreat into the kitchen. Billy looked at Stewart and began, “Me too, it was great…..”
Stewart grabbing his arm and leading him back into the hall cut Billy’s sentence short.
Stewart’s entire demeanor changed. He turned dark and serious. “Listen here Bill, I know what’s going on. Don’t think I don’t. Every time I look into a mirror I see a man deeply in love with Dominic Monaghan. I see that same man when I look at you.”
Billy opened his mouth to deny it, but Stewart cut him off. “Don’t even think about denying it, Bill. I know everything. I know about the little scene here in this very hall. I even know why you did it. Dominic still thinks you never loved him, but I know better. I know the fear of realizing you’ve fallen in love with a man. It took me years to make peace with who I am, and it took even longer to find Dominic.”
Billy looked at Stewart stunned. He did not realize his feelings were so obvious. Did Dom realize it also? No, Stewart just said so, but….
Stewart continued, “Dom wants to be your friend again, and I want him to be happy. I would do anything to make him happy. I can sit back and watch your friendship rekindle, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to sit back and let you hurt him again. I love him, so trust me when I say I will fight you for him with every fiber of my being.”
Billy did not like being threatened. He knew Stewart loved Dom and Dom more than likely loved him back, but he was not going to let Stewart intimidate him. He pulled his wrist from Stewart grasp. “I don’t want to hurt Dom any more than you. I’ll do whatever Dom wants me to do to make him happy.” Let Stewart think about that while he’s out saving the trees.
Stewart glared at him then said, “This conversation never happened.”
He walked out of the hall. Billy followed him and watched him walk into the kitchen. Billy sat on the couch taking in what Stewart had said. Billy now hated him; good. He could hear Dom laughing and Stewart’s voice lowering as he told Dom good bye.
Billy watched as they walked out of the kitchen hand in hand. Stewart holding Billy’s tea. He handed it to Billy with a smile on his face, but his eyes were still dark. Dom was none the wiser. “Here you go Billy, enjoy.”
Stewart turned to Dom and said, “Well, I need to head off to the airport.”
Dom looked at Stewart, “I feel bad not taking you to the airport.”
Stewart smiled and put a hand on Dom’s cheek, “Don’t love. You stay here and spend time with Billy. You two have a lot of catching up to do. I’ll be home in a few weeks.”
Stewart turned to Billy, “Is was great meeting you man. Next time hopefully, I’ll be able to stick around!”
He laughed and let go of Dom’s hand to wrap Billy in an embrace.
Billy was amazed at how quickly this man could change his demeanor. Billy followed Stewart’s lead, and hugged him back and laughed. As they pulled away from each other Billy smiled and said, “Be careful and good luck.”
Stewart caught Billy’s hidden meaning. He looked him in the eyes and smirked, “Thanks, but I doubt that I’ll need it.”
Billy just raised an eyebrow while he smiled back. Dom had been standing behind Stewart so he missed Billy’s expression.
Dom took Stewart’s hand and looked at Billy, “I’m just going to walk him out. Be right back.”
Billy sat back down as Dom and Stewart walked out. He sipped his tea that Dom had made him. Dom still knew how to make it just like Billy liked it. For some reason this gave Billy hope.
Billy leaned back and covered his face with his hands as he thought, “I don’t want to hurt Dom. I want him to be happy, but damn it I love him. Shit, Stewart would fight me for him, and probably win. Still….what was that last night at my door?”
Billy slid his hands from his face to behind his head; his fingers laced together in his hair. His head was resting back and his eyes were closed. He stretched and let his legs rest up on the coffee table. He did not hear Dom enter the room.
Dom stood there looking at Billy. It was such a familiar site. Billy in his house, making himself comfortable. Billy’s hands were behind his head making his biceps flex. Dom wondered how many times had he tied Billy up in that position. Billy’s legs were extended out in front of him, showing Dom the cut of his thigh muscles. The position of Billy’s arms made his shirt lay open showing off Billy’s chest and the blonde hair that felt like pure silk to the touch. Billy rarely buttoned the top four buttons on any shirt. Dom cursed himself for still being turned on by just the sight of Billy.
“Entertaining a thought, Bills?” Billy jumped.
“Damn Dom, this new carpet must be thick. I didn’t hear you walk in.” Dom walked over to the couch and sat at the opposite end of it from Billy. Billy knew that in the past Dom would have sat right next to him. Touching shoulders, but those days were gone, maybe.
“Dom, are you alright?”
Dom looked at Billy and asked, “Sure, why?”
Billy leaned forward slightly; “Does Stewart usually stay away for weeks at a time while on assignment?”
Dom sighed and replied, “Well yes, but his assignments are always important. He only takes the assignments that mean something to him.” Dom smiled then added, “Or me.”
Billy knew this made Dom happy. He really hated Stewart now. Billy sat back and looked around the room. Dom had filled the room with expensive furniture and expensive artwork. That’s when Billy noticed that in all of the pictures of friends and family that were expertly placed around the room he was not in any. In fact he was positive the one of pictures of Elijah and Dom in New Zealand had actually been blown up to fit the frame while cutting him out.
“You like the way I redid the place?” Dom asked with a smile.
Billy looked around, “Yea, it nice. Looks like Dommie has grown up.” The nickname slipped out before he could stop himself.
Dom’s eyes widened and the smile left his face.
“Shit, Dom, I’m sorry. It just slipped out. This just feels so familiar, I’m sorry. I know I shouldn’t call you that anymore. I won’t do it again, I promise.”
“No, it’s fine really.” Dom licked his lips, which made Billy’s stomach flutter. “It’s just been a long time since I’ve heard you call me that.”
Billy studied Dom’s face trying to read it. “I notice Stewart just calls you Dominic.”
“He says it fits my persona better than Dom.” Dom shrugged not believing that to be true. “No one ever called me Dommie, but you. I don’t think it’s ever occurred to him to call me that. I wouldn’t want him too anyway.”
Billy looked away. “Too many bad memories, huh?”
Dom’s voice lowered as he said, “No, actually it reminds me of all our good times. I wouldn’t let Stewart call me something that was only between us.”
Billy looked up and over at Dom. “We did have some good times didn’t we?”
Dom held Billy’s gaze, “Yes we did. We had a lot of good time. I miss those times Bill.”
Billy could feel his heart ache. He wanted to hold Dom and tell him he loved him. He wanted to make the world disappear so he could be with Dom forever. As Billy was trying to read what Dom was thinking, Dom bit into his lower lip.
Billy breathed deeply as he knew what that meant, “Oh, Dommie. I've missed them too.”
Dom could feel the chill bumps form all over his body as he closed his eyes and whispered, “Oh Billy, I’ve missed you so much.”
Billy could see the chill bumps all over Dom’s body. His eyes traveled to Dom’s chest. He could see Dom’s nipples harden.
Billy’s breathing quickened and then he could feel the chill bumps on his own body. His cock twitched with desire. He wanted to touch Dom. He wanted to suck his erect nipples. The tip of Billy’s tongue played with his upper lip.
Dom opened his eyes and saw Billy’s tongue showing Dom what he wanted to do him. He knew Billy wanted him. He fought the desire to let Billy take him. Dom had spent too many years gaining his self-respect back. Billy had always just wanted sex from him. At least that is what Billy lead him to believe when they said good bye three years ago.
Dom began to shake his head no. “I won’t let you do this to me again. I’ve found a man who loves me, I won’t let you use me again, Billy.” Dom said this to Billy as much as he did to himself. The words stung Billy.
“I never used you Dommie.” Billy moved closer to Dom. “I cherished every moment I spent with you. Our physical attraction to one another was so strong it seemed to be the only thing between us at times. But there was so much more. Dommie you meant everything to me. I was a fool when I left here that day, I should have told you. I should have told you that I…” Stewart’s warning played again in his head.
Dom held his breath. What was Billy going to say? Love? Could he? “What Billy? Tell me what?”
Billy ran his hands through his hair and closed his eyes. He knew he couldn’t say it. Not now. It was too late. Even if Dom fell into his arms now, Stewart would just take him back.
Billy opened his eyes and said, “This is wrong, Dom. I should leave.” Billy got up and started to walk out the house.
Dom needed to hear Billy tell him he loved him. He needed to know he had not been alone in that relationship. Dom had told Billy so many times he loved him, and Billy had only returned it a handful of times. Dom had convinced himself he was over Billy. Over the pain, but is was a fresh wound again. He ached to be in Billy’s arms. He couldn’t let him leave. Not again. Not yet.
“Billy, wait.”
Billy stopped and turned to look at Dom. It was as if they had gone back in time three years. Dom looked just as hurt as he did that day. Dom looked into Billy’s eyes pleading for Billy to say it.
“Billy, please.” Dom was so afraid. He swallowed hard to keep himself from begging Billy to tell him.
Billy looked at Dom hungrily. He had never wanted Dom more. He closed his eyes, and said through clenched teeth, “I have to do the right thing Dom. You are with Stewart now, and I’m a married man for God’s sake. It’s too late for me. Stewart makes you happy.”
Dom couldn’t stop himself. He stood and walked to Billy. Dom was standing so close Billy could feel his breath on his cheek.
“Please Billy. What should you have told me? Please, don’t you at least owe me that?”
“Dommie,” Billy whispered. He opened his eyes. Dom’s eyes were so damn seductive. His lips were partly open and his skin was freshly clean-shaven. Billy could smell the shaving lotion scent still clinging to him. It took all of Billy’s courage and strength to back away from Dom.
Dom took a deep breath and said, “Well, just as I figured. Some things never change eh, Bill? Still think of me as nothing more than your fuck buddy huh?” Dom walked away from Billy.
Billy’s mind told him to just leave. Let it be. "Let Dom hate you," his mind told him. Dom had Stewart. Stewart was good for Dom. Dom loved him. Then suddenly Billy thought, “Maybe he doesn’t.”
Billy felt so angry with himself. He knew what he was about to do was wrong, but for all his good intentions, he could not stop himself.
Billy walked into the living room after Dom. Just as Billy was opening his mouth to talk he heard a cell phone ring. It was not his, so he looked around. He watched Dom walk to the end table and pick up his cell phone.
“Probably Stewart,” Billy thought. He waited to see the look of happiness to develop on Dom’s face. Instead Dom looked at the phone then turned to Billy with a look of surprise.
He held the ringing phone out to Billy and said, “It’s you. Well, it’s your home number on the ID.”
Billy looked confused for a moment, then realized Ali must have found the paper that he had lost with Dom’s cell number on it. She knew the LA area code. She also knew the first person Billy always wanted to see was Dom.
Billy took the phone from Dom’s hand to answer it. Dom tried to take the phone back saying, “No, Bill! She’ll be pissed you’re with me. Don’t!”
Billy didn’t care anymore. He answered the phone. “What is it Ali?”
Her voice was cold and filled with disgust as she said; “Whose phone is this Bill? Dom’s?”
“Yes, Ali it is. In fact I’m in his house right now. Why are you calling his phone? I do have my own, remember?”
“I found it on this morning. Knew it wasn’t one of the other gent’s numbers. What are you doing there? Thought you two hated each other?”
Billy sighed. He was tired of playing this little game of hers. “What do you what Ali? Is there no one there you can torment?”
He heard her take a deep breath. “He doesn’t want you anymore Billy. He has someone now.”
Billy smiled at her attempt to hurt him. “Nice try but it won’t work. Go back to your boyfriend Ali and leave me alone.”
Billy hung up and saw Dom looking at him with his mouth hanging open.
He handed the phone back to Dom and said, “My marriage ended over a year ago. She has been having an affair for months. She thought I didn’t know. I knew, I just didn’t care.”
Dom stepped closer to Billy. He truly felt bad for Billy. No matter what Billy had done to him, he had always been his friend. Dom hated seeing his friend so unhappy. Dom wanted to see Billy smile.
“Billy, I’m so sorry. You know, you really suck at relationships.”
Billy looked up at Dom and a smile grew across his face. He knew he had to tell Dom the truth.
Running his hands through his hair he said, “Dom, I owe you the truth.”
Dom gave no response; he just stood there waiting.
Billy sat on the couch and told Dom the truth. “I lied that day three years ago. I told you I loved her more than anything. Hell I didn’t even love her! I was afraid Dom. Afraid to love you the way I wanted to. Afraid to be open to the world about us. Fuck, Dom you deserved better than that. I knew that if I told you the truth you’d manage to make me stay and I could never make you happy. At least not like Stewart seems to…” Billy felt the full brunt of his pain. Tears formed in his eyes threatening to flood the room.
Dom saw a tear running down Billy’s cheek. He walked over to Billy and stood in front of him, “Billy?”
“Dom, do you love him?”
“Why are you doing this Billy?”
Billy looked up at Dom. In that moment Stewart did not exists. Billy stood and wrapped one arm around Dom’s waist and the other around his neck. Dom tried to step back, but Billy pulled him closer.
“No, Billy, please. Don’t do this to me. I can’t handle you breaking my heart again, please Billy.”
“I don’t want to hurt you Dommie. I want to love you. I want to show you how much I’ve always loved you.”
Dom raised his hands to Billy’s chest pushing him away. His eyes wide with fear, “Billy don’t say things you’re not prepared to deal with. God, Billy I’ve waited so long to hear you say that again, please don’t hurt me anymore.”
Billy took Dom’s mouth passionately. He could hear Dom moan and feel his body melt into his. Dom’s arms wrapped around Billy’s neck. Their tongues fighting for dominance. Their hips in motion with one another. Billy pulled Dom closer. Billy felt so alive.
“Dommie, I love you, do you hear me, I love you. Please forgive me, please I need you. You mean everything to mean. Let me make you happy. Let me love you.”
Dom’s head was spinning. Billy loved him. Dom pulled away from Billy enough to look into his eyes. He could see Billy was telling the truth. “Yes, Billy, yes. I love you too.”
Billy nipped at Dom’s neck eliciting a growl from Dom. Dom was pushing his hips against Billy’s. He wanted to feel Billy again. He wanted to taste Billy; he wanted to take Billy for himself again.
Billy was licking and kissing Dom’s chest. Dom was holding onto Billy’s shoulders as he leaned back giving Billy full access to his chest. He watched Billy expertly lick his nipples and make them erect. Billy looked up at him, their eyes meeting as Billy raked his teeth over the taught bud.
Dom hissed as his entire body began to quiver. “Fuck Billy, no one makes me feel like you do. No one! Please Billy please take me now.”
Billy moaned at the sound of Dom’s urgency. Billy lowered himself to his knees keeping eye contact with Dom. “Oh God, Billy yes. Oh baby please.”
Dom ran his fingers through Billy hair. Billy smiled. He unhooked Dom’s swim trunks and pulled them down. As Dom’s rock hard cock sprang out to him his breathing quickened and his mouth began to water. He sucked on the tip causing Dom to cry out his name.
“Billy! Oh do it.”
Billy wanted to go slow, but it’s been so long since he’d had Dom. He cupped Dom’s balls letting his middle finger drift back and rub that space just behind his balls as he took him fully in his mouth. Dom grabbed at Billy’s hair and thrust himself harder into Billy’s mouth.
Billy moved his hands up Dom’s thighs and over his tight stomach. He could feel each muscle ripple. Slowly he ran his hands back down Dom’s thighs and back up to his ass. Billy moved his mouth over the entire length of Dom as he squeezed Dom’s ass.
“Fuck, Billy. I want this so much.” Dom pulled at Billy’s arms. “Stand up love, please, let’s move this to the bedroom.”
Billy stood up and kissed Dom. He let his hand grasp Dom’s cock. As Dom stepped out of his shorts he started pushing Billy down the hallway to the bedroom. Billy pulled on Dom’s erection. Dom was kissing Billy’s neck as his hands unbuttoned Billy’s shirt. They were kissing and stroking and bumping into walls knocking down pictures but neither care. All they could see and hear were each other.
Dom had pulled Billy's shorts down enough so he could pump Billy’s cock as he bit Billy’s chest. “Billy, I love you. Love you so much.”
“Oh Dommie, yes. I want to scream it to the world. I love you!”
As they tumbled into Dom’s bedroom they bumped into the dresser sending a framed picture crashing to the floor. As they heard the glass shatter they both looked down.
It’s a picture of Dom and Stewart. They were in each other’s arms kissing. Dom closed his eyes and pushed away from Billy. He bent down and picked up the picture. Billy could see the guilt flow across Dom’s face. Dom moved away from Billy. He put on a pair of shorts he picked up off the bed.
Billy tried to compose himself, pulling his shorts up and asked, “Dom, do you really love him?”
Dom looked down at the picture in his hands. It had been taken three months ago on the beach. Stewart was a wonderful man. He was honest, sincere and funny. He had helped Dom straighten out his life. Because of Stewart he no longer felt the need for abusive sex or self-abuse. Because of Stewart Dom no longer had suspicious bruises or burn marks.
Dom had even stopped writing on his body. Stewart was supposed to be the answer to all the things Dom had ever written on himself. He had opened Dom’s eyes to a whole new world. He loved Dom.
Dom looked up at Billy. Billy’s hair was sticking out every which way. His shirt was hanging open and there were red marks where Dom had been biting. His swim trunks bulging with his erection. But it was Billy’s eyes that spoke loudest to Dom. So full of love.
Dom knew one of the reasons he had started dating Stewart was because his eyes reminded him of Billy’s. They were not as bright or as captivating, but Dom had found it easy to look into Stewart’s eyes and pretend it was Billy. Everything was Billy. No matter how much Dom had tried to erase Billy from his life he was still there.
Billy walked closer to Dom and put his hand on Dom’s cheek. He was hurt. When Dom did not answer him, he took it as a yes to his question. “I’m sorry Dom. I had no right to do this. All I want is for you to be happy. If it’s Stewart that makes you happy I’ll back away.”
As much as Billy did not want to hear those words from Dom he had to know. “Tell me you love him and I’ll leave.”
Dom couldn’t speak. He was so conflicted. He wanted Billy. He had always wanted Billy. But Stewart loved him and he knew Stewart would always be there. Dom did love Stewart. Not like he loved Billy, but it was still love.
The longer Dom stayed quite the more Billy’s heart died. Billy took his hand away from Dom’s face as he looked away. He had his answer. It was over. He had lost Dom forever. He was going to be alone. He would go home and file for a divorce. He would spend the rest of his life loving a man he could no longer have.
“Tell me Dom. Tell me so I won’t wonder what if for the rest of my life. Finish this Dom.”
Dom closed his eyes and whispered, “I love him.”
Billy had only felt this kind of pain twice before now. Once when his father died and again when his mother died. His body was racked in agony as he looked at Dom. He fought the urge to beg him to take him back and give him another chance.
“I love you Dom. You will always be my one true love. Always.” Billy turned and walked out.
Dom sat on the bed not feeling till he heard the front door close. Then he fell over on his side and sobbed. He loved Billy so much, but he could not take the chance that Billy would hurt him again. He barely lived through it the first time. He had something special with Stewart. He could not throw it all away. Dom curled up into a fetal position and cried harder than ever had in the past.
~
Three months later Billy was sitting at the breakfast table in his kitchen on a cold and rainy day in Scotland. He had been divorced for exactly 48 hours. He didn’t feel any different though. He was still hurting for Dom. Ali had not fought the divorce. She had fallen in love with another man, so she was glad to get out of the marriage.
Billy fought with himself every morning just to get out of bed and brush his teeth. He found it very hard to find a reason to do it some days.
This particular morning he had stayed in bed till 10am. Once he had drug himself out of bed he took a shower. He had walked downstairs listening to how deathly quite it was in his home. He sat in the kitchen drinking luke-warm tea trying to think of a reason not to go back to bed when the door-bell rang.
Billy sighed and walked to the front door. He opened the door and froze. There stood Dom with two suitcases by his side.
Billy looked at the suitcases and said, “Dom?”
Dom smiled and said, “Call me Dommie.”
Billy smiled and wrapped his arms around Dom, “Oh Dommie, I love you.”
Dom held Billy tightly, “I love you too Billy. I couldn’t stay with him another minute. I needed my Bills.”
Billy pulled back and looked into Dom’s eyes, “I’m here Dommie. I’m all yours, forever.”
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I cannot express how much i loved this. It is just too perfect, breaking my heart one minute, making me all hot the next, breaking my heart again and then major squeeage!
You truelly have a wonderful way of story telling, i was hooked on every word.
Can't wait to read more from you.
Ohh my God... *reads again*
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*me speechless*
...
that was... REALLY BLOODY AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!! both part one and two rocked inexplicably. just, woah. wow. freaking great.
Dom knew one of the reasons he had started dating Stewart was because his eyes reminded him of Billy’s. They were not as bright or as captivating, but Dom had found it easy to look into Stewart’s eyes and pretend it was Billy. Everything was Billy. No matter how much Dom had tried to erase Billy from his life he was still there.
so totally and utterly superb.
cheers
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*bows in gratitude*
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