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Title: Not Again
Author: Dee Sarrachi
Rating: Leaning towards R, but only because of the amazing amount of times I use that lovely little F word.
Pairing: Monaboyd
Author's Notes: Inspired by a line from the Moxy Fruvous song River Valley. Can be taken as a continuation of “Other People’s Eyes”, my earlier fic, but can be read as a stand-alone.
Summary: "But that would be fine/ if the world was yours and you were mine.” Rather random thoughts of Billy as he obsesses over a certain someone.
but that would be fine
if the world was yours and you were mine.
I’m thinking about him again. I’m sitting here in a script meeting, and I should be thinking about what the director is saying, because it’s sure to be important, but all I can think about is him.
No! I have to stop. Bad enough that all I can see when I close my eyes at night are his deep, sensuous eyes, his delicate, almost feminine hands, his soft tousled hair...Enough! It’s bad enough he haunts my dreams (Not dreams, not dreams, have to be nightmares, can’t be dreams), I’m not letting myself get kicked out of this movie because I’m fantasizing about him.
This has to be the longest I’ve gone without even thinking his name. That name that sends delicious shivers up and down my spine.
Nonononononononononono! This is wrong, all wrong! You are not supposed to have sexual fantasies about your best mate. It doesn’t matter how incredibly hot they are, how incredibly strong and wonderful they look in those faded jeans, how perfect their waist is...
Oh God, ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod. How much longer is this damn meeting? I could really use a cold shower. (Don’t think about him in there with you, wet and dripping, don’t, don’t, don’t...fuck)
I’m shifting in my seat, hoping no one notices as I look at the clock. There’s supposed to be another twenty minutes! Unbe-fucking-lievable. I can’t help but send a silent prayer heavenwards that my co-stars are being a lot more talkative, which means I don’t have to say anything.
Dammit, why is he always in my head? He’s worse than one of those songs by what’s-her-face, the slut. Brittany? Something like that. Her songs always get stuck in your head for hours...
Oh, no. Oh, God, no. Now all I can see are images of him in one of those skimpy little black leather outfits she wears. (He doesn’t look half bad; he really has the legs for it...)
Aargh! Stop it Billy! You like girls, dammit, girls!
(If I like girls, why do I keep obsessing over him?)
All right, so let’s assume that I am...well...(And after all this you have doubts?) What do I tell him? “Hey Dom! What’s been happening?...Me? Well, I figured out that I’m gay, and I’m in love with you.”
No way. What would he say? He’d probably punch my lights out, or worse, never talk to me again. (No! Silent treatment is not worse than physical pain!)
People are leaving. That must mean the meeting is over, which means I can finally get out of here. (Take a very long, very cold shower) Better find out what the hell we talked about later.
(Not that I’ll be able to concentrate on anything but him)
Okay, Billy, focus here. No more dirty thoughts about Dom, don’t think about how you’d do anything for him (do anything to him), give him the world if he’d just give himself to you.
Oh, fuckfuckfuckfuckity fuck fuck. The phone is ringing, and I just know it’s him on the other end. Now what? After all this, how the hell am I supposed to sound natural and just talk to him as if I’m not head-over-heels in love with him? Do I tell him, or just shut the hell up, or just let the phone keep ringing and let the machine get it? (If you just stand there, Bill, the choice’ll be made for you)
Click. “Hey Bills, it’s me, Dom. Uh, I guess you’re at a meeting or out or whatever.” Pause. “Maybe it’s better this way because I...” Another pause. “God, this shouldn’t be so damn hard. Fuck it all, I just have to say...” There’s yet another pause, longer this time. The whirring of the tape as it records seems to fill the room in the seconds that pass before Dom’s voice comes back, soft and hesitant. I’ve never heard him sound unsure of himself. “Billy, I love you. I mean, not love as in brothers, I mean love love.” After this, Dom’s voice came in a rush, sounding relieved. “I don’t know what you’ll do when you hear this message, probably delete it and never talk to me again, but...But I can’t help it. I tried the whole time we were filming Rings, and up ‘till now, and...Fuck Bill, I just...I love you. That’s all, I guess. You know my number, if you want to call or forget it or come kick my arse.”
There’s a final sounding click, and I’m still standing there. (Why, why am I still standing there?)
Of all the unexpected things, that has to be the biggest one.
(So now what, wanker? You don’t have any excuse now.)
Damn. I hate when I’m right.
I’m rewinding the tape, playing it over and over again, listening to his voice saying again and again and again, “I love you.”
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
How the hell do you describe that feeling, of loving and being loved? You can’t. Finally, finally, finally, I could have the one I’d wanted for as long as I could remember. Finally, I could act on those fantasies, those dreams. (Not nightmares, dreams, dreams that came true!)
No more repressing those thoughts, no more distracting fantasies during shoots.
And now the phone’s in my hands and I’m dialing that familiar number.
(Pick it up, Dommie. Pick up the damn phone, please?)
“Hello?” (Thankyouthankyouthankyou)
“It’s Billy.”
“Bill? You got my--”
“I love you, I love you, I love you!”
Silence. (Don’t let the call have been a joke, let him have been serious when he called...)
“You do?”
“Yeah.” (Not a joke, not a joke, please God not a joke.)
“I love you too.” (Thankyouthankyou...)
Feedback makes me feel warm and gooshy. Don't you want me to feel warm and gooshy? *puppy dog eyes*
Author: Dee Sarrachi
Rating: Leaning towards R, but only because of the amazing amount of times I use that lovely little F word.
Pairing: Monaboyd
Author's Notes: Inspired by a line from the Moxy Fruvous song River Valley. Can be taken as a continuation of “Other People’s Eyes”, my earlier fic, but can be read as a stand-alone.
Summary: "But that would be fine/ if the world was yours and you were mine.” Rather random thoughts of Billy as he obsesses over a certain someone.
but that would be fine
if the world was yours and you were mine.
I’m thinking about him again. I’m sitting here in a script meeting, and I should be thinking about what the director is saying, because it’s sure to be important, but all I can think about is him.
No! I have to stop. Bad enough that all I can see when I close my eyes at night are his deep, sensuous eyes, his delicate, almost feminine hands, his soft tousled hair...Enough! It’s bad enough he haunts my dreams (Not dreams, not dreams, have to be nightmares, can’t be dreams), I’m not letting myself get kicked out of this movie because I’m fantasizing about him.
This has to be the longest I’ve gone without even thinking his name. That name that sends delicious shivers up and down my spine.
Nonononononononononono! This is wrong, all wrong! You are not supposed to have sexual fantasies about your best mate. It doesn’t matter how incredibly hot they are, how incredibly strong and wonderful they look in those faded jeans, how perfect their waist is...
Oh God, ohgodohgodohgodohgodohgod. How much longer is this damn meeting? I could really use a cold shower. (Don’t think about him in there with you, wet and dripping, don’t, don’t, don’t...fuck)
I’m shifting in my seat, hoping no one notices as I look at the clock. There’s supposed to be another twenty minutes! Unbe-fucking-lievable. I can’t help but send a silent prayer heavenwards that my co-stars are being a lot more talkative, which means I don’t have to say anything.
Dammit, why is he always in my head? He’s worse than one of those songs by what’s-her-face, the slut. Brittany? Something like that. Her songs always get stuck in your head for hours...
Oh, no. Oh, God, no. Now all I can see are images of him in one of those skimpy little black leather outfits she wears. (He doesn’t look half bad; he really has the legs for it...)
Aargh! Stop it Billy! You like girls, dammit, girls!
(If I like girls, why do I keep obsessing over him?)
All right, so let’s assume that I am...well...(And after all this you have doubts?) What do I tell him? “Hey Dom! What’s been happening?...Me? Well, I figured out that I’m gay, and I’m in love with you.”
No way. What would he say? He’d probably punch my lights out, or worse, never talk to me again. (No! Silent treatment is not worse than physical pain!)
People are leaving. That must mean the meeting is over, which means I can finally get out of here. (Take a very long, very cold shower) Better find out what the hell we talked about later.
(Not that I’ll be able to concentrate on anything but him)
Okay, Billy, focus here. No more dirty thoughts about Dom, don’t think about how you’d do anything for him (do anything to him), give him the world if he’d just give himself to you.
Oh, fuckfuckfuckfuckity fuck fuck. The phone is ringing, and I just know it’s him on the other end. Now what? After all this, how the hell am I supposed to sound natural and just talk to him as if I’m not head-over-heels in love with him? Do I tell him, or just shut the hell up, or just let the phone keep ringing and let the machine get it? (If you just stand there, Bill, the choice’ll be made for you)
Click. “Hey Bills, it’s me, Dom. Uh, I guess you’re at a meeting or out or whatever.” Pause. “Maybe it’s better this way because I...” Another pause. “God, this shouldn’t be so damn hard. Fuck it all, I just have to say...” There’s yet another pause, longer this time. The whirring of the tape as it records seems to fill the room in the seconds that pass before Dom’s voice comes back, soft and hesitant. I’ve never heard him sound unsure of himself. “Billy, I love you. I mean, not love as in brothers, I mean love love.” After this, Dom’s voice came in a rush, sounding relieved. “I don’t know what you’ll do when you hear this message, probably delete it and never talk to me again, but...But I can’t help it. I tried the whole time we were filming Rings, and up ‘till now, and...Fuck Bill, I just...I love you. That’s all, I guess. You know my number, if you want to call or forget it or come kick my arse.”
There’s a final sounding click, and I’m still standing there. (Why, why am I still standing there?)
Of all the unexpected things, that has to be the biggest one.
(So now what, wanker? You don’t have any excuse now.)
Damn. I hate when I’m right.
I’m rewinding the tape, playing it over and over again, listening to his voice saying again and again and again, “I love you.”
He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me. He loves me.
How the hell do you describe that feeling, of loving and being loved? You can’t. Finally, finally, finally, I could have the one I’d wanted for as long as I could remember. Finally, I could act on those fantasies, those dreams. (Not nightmares, dreams, dreams that came true!)
No more repressing those thoughts, no more distracting fantasies during shoots.
And now the phone’s in my hands and I’m dialing that familiar number.
(Pick it up, Dommie. Pick up the damn phone, please?)
“Hello?” (Thankyouthankyouthankyou)
“It’s Billy.”
“Bill? You got my--”
“I love you, I love you, I love you!”
Silence. (Don’t let the call have been a joke, let him have been serious when he called...)
“You do?”
“Yeah.” (Not a joke, not a joke, please God not a joke.)
“I love you too.” (Thankyouthankyou...)
Feedback makes me feel warm and gooshy. Don't you want me to feel warm and gooshy? *puppy dog eyes*
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From:
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Oh God... How much longer is this damn meeting? I could really use a cold shower. (Don’t think about him in there with you, wet and dripping, don’t, don’t, don’t...fuck)
Liked that one a lot. Also, my new favorite expression? Fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
~Cai
From:
no subject
Liked that one a lot.
Heh, thanks. ^.^ I'm rather proud of that bit myself, and the few RL friends that I've shown this fic to liked that as well.
BTW, I love your icon! Very cool. ^.^
From:
no subject
Thanks so much!
And I did enjoy that fic. *smiles*
From:
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Do you know, i just uttered that very same line, after spilling tea all over the desk and me? Now what are the chances of that, huh?
From:
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Very lovely. :) I always want to kick those boys in these stories where they don't admit their feelings until after the filming is over, but I got over that after a minute and the sweetness remains.
From:
no subject
Dude! A Fruvous fan! ^.^ Yeah, I too am a Fruvist. \m/