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monaboyd Mar. 7th, 2004 09:09 pm)
jettabug.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Mar. 7th, 2004 09:09 pm)Title: Imitation Of Life: Part Three
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
jettabug
Rating: R for swearing
Feedback: Please!
Author's Notes: To Bunny [domslover] for being amazing and for letting me love her.
Summary: Part Three. If you have a hospital squick, don't read this.
Part One | Part Two
Imitation Of Life: Part Three
by Jenna
It had to be a dream. Or a hallucination.
“Billy?” I called tentatively, watching the hand twitch once again.
I sat up, reaching for the nurse’s call button, watching for any other sort of response.
But there was nothing.
Billy was still again.
I dropped the call button, but kept my eyes strained on Billy’s hand. I wanted him to wake up. I wanted him to talk to me.
“Oh Billy…” I breathed, lying back down, my head falling onto my pillow.
I was overcome with such exhaustion. It had been so many hours since I’d gotten the phone call, so many hours since I’d seen Billy so broken. So many hours since my world crashed down around me.
The sun was setting on the other side of the blinds, and the last rays of light shone into the room, illuminating it with dying sunlight.
I pressed my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see life when I was so shrouded in death.
I felt like calling my mum, to pour out my heart. But I knew that it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be like talking to Billy.
“You’re a bastard, you know that?” I whispered into the room. “We could’ve lived without the chips…I should’ve told you that. I’m so sorry Billy…”
As always, silence answered me.
+|+
When I awoke from my sleep, it was dark.
5:19pm on Saturday.
It had taken me hours to get to sleep, I kept waiting, watching Billy to see if he’d move again. I wanted to badly for him to respond, that I kept imagining it was happening.
It was so dark in the hospital room, the only light provided was from the hallway and from the glowing heart rate monitor on the other side of the bed.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes, noticing a tray on the table beside me. I lifted the lid and saw a plate of sandwiches – peanut butter – and a thermos of coffee. I poured myself a cup and drank it fast, before ravenously devouring two sandwiches.
Next to the tray was a note from Dr Tether:
I noticed you had a cell phone. Please give me a call on 0417699825 when you wake up, I need to change your dressings.
I sighed and fished into my pocket for my phone, turned it on and dialled the numbers. I told Dr Tethers I was awake, and she said she’d be there in a minute.
I had another cup of coffee while I waited, and ate the banana on the tray.
“How are you feeling?” Dr Tethers asked as she came into the room.
“I’m fine,” I answered. “It’s Billy who was in the car accident.”
She didn’t answer, just took off my dressings. “This looks bad. You need to have a shower, wash it out, or it’s going to get infected.”
I shrugged. “I may as well lose my foot to infection, I’ve already lost my heart to a road accident.”
Dr Tether set her gaze on me. “He’s not on a slab at the morgue yet.”
I bit my lip to keep from crying. “He moved. He moved his hand yesterday.”
She offered a smile. “That’s only good news. I took a look at his ECG scans and head x-rays today, it looks pretty clear. No dark patches, no bleeding. He’ll be awake soon.”
“If he wakes up at all.”
“Talk like that isn’t going to help.”
I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “You don’t know what’s it like, ok? To watch your best friend like this, so…helpless. In so much pain and suffering and not be able to do anything to help them.”
“Fair enough,” Dr Tethers agreed. “But if you give up, who’s to say Billy won’t?”
I swallowed. She was right.
“I’m leaving some painkillers and anti-biotics for your ankle.” She set two pill bottles down beside my tray. “Take one painkiller every four hours as needed, and the antibiotics after every meal.”
I nodded and rubbed at my face.
“I’ll send a nurse up to re-wrap your gauze, let the wound air for a bit.”
I nodded again and watched as she left the room, and almost immediately was replaced by Orlando.
I waved him in. “Hey,” I said softly as he hoisted an overnight bag up onto the end of the bed before climbing on next to it.
“Elijah is very hurt that he’s not allowed exclusive access to see you two,” Orlando said, leaning up against the end of the bed.
“It’s not exactly a party in here,” I replied, shifting my leg.
“Holy fuck,” Orlando exclaimed, looking at my ankle. “That must’ve been a big piece of fucking glass!”
“Beer bottle,” I offered, reaching up to brush a piece of hair off Billy’s face.
“How’s he going?” Orlando asked.
“He moved his hand just after you left last night.”
“That’s good,” he said.
I shrugged. “Dr Tethers thinks he’s gonna be awake soon.”
Orlando frowned. “Do you not think so?”
“It’s just…it’s hard to believe that he’s gonna wake up when he looks like this…”
“Gotta have faith, mate.”
“But what happens if he doesn’t wake up?”
Orlando sighed. “We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “How will I be able to let him go?”
Orlando leant forward and placed a hand on my leg. “You’re not supposed to,” he said. “When you love someone as much as you love him, you’re never supposed to just let them go.”
“I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can.”
I looked over at Orlando, tears streaming down my face. “What will I do without him?”
Orlando got up off the bed and came over to my side, perching on the side of the bed, he took me in his arms, hugging me close to him.
My shoulders shook as I sobbed into Orlando’s navy t-shirt. I clung onto him with all my strength, letting the emotions flow from my body.
I don’t know how long he hugged me like that while I cried.
“Look man, there’s not much I can say to make you feel any better, but I can be here for you, ok? I can come and spend time with you, to have a chat, anything.”
“Thanks Orli,” I said softly, sniffing and let go of him.
“Look what you did to my fucking t-shirt!” Orlando exclaimed, pointing to the snotty, wet mess on his shoulder.
I smiled. “Sorry man. You said anything you could do…”
“Ha ha,” Orlando said sarcastically.
I sniffed again. “I need a shower.”
“I’m glad one of us had the guts to mention it, because Billy wasn’t gonna.”
I smiled a small smile. “Can you stay? Just be with him while I go get cleaned up?”
Orlando nodded. “’Course.”
I got up off my bed and flinched as I put pressure on my ankle. “Thanks man.”
I grabbed the overnight bag and headed for the bathroom in the corner of the room. I locked myself away and stripped off my clothes, and stood in front of the mirror.
What I saw shocked me.
I had a few days worth of stubble on my chin, and dark bags under my eyes. My face was red from crying and I could nearly see the dirt and grit in my hair.
I stepped under the hot spray and winced as the water hit my tender ankle.
I cleaned my body with the soap Orlando had bought, and washed my hair with the shampoo.
I stepped out of the cubicle feeling just a fraction better. I shaved and dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and dried off my hair.
“You look marginally better,” Orlando commented as I limped out of the bathroom, carrying my bag.
“Thanks to you. I probably would’ve lived in my filth till Billy woke up.”
Orlando wrinkled his nose up in disgust. “Ok that’s gross.”
I smiled and climbed up onto the bed.
“Oh, a nurse came by. Said she’d be back soon with fresh sheets and to do your ankle.”
I nodded and shifted painfully as my wound swiped over the bed sheets, leaving a blood trail as it moved.
A nurse bustled into the room and re-applied my bandages, dousing my ankle with the most horrible smelling antiseptic ever. I cringed as she picked and prodded at my stitches with her tweezers.
“That hurt?” she asked.
“Aye.”
She didn’t respond, just picked at it some more before dousing it again and wrapping it up.
She motioned for Orlando and I to get off the bed, and she changed my white sheets to soft cotton blue ones.
“Thank you,” I told her as she left the room with barely a word. But I didn’t have time to think about it as yet another nurse bought in a tray of piping hot food.
“You get food here?”
“Billy’s not eating it.”
“You think I can get one of those?” Orlando asked the nurse, flashing his pearly whites.
“Of course,” she answered and brought in another tray.
Orlando dragged over another table and rubbed his hands together in anticipation.
“Don’t get too excited, Orli. It’s hospital food.”
He lifted the lid. “Yum. Roast chicken.”
We tucked into the food with minimal conversation, but I kept one eye firmly on Billy as he flinched in his sleep.
It wasn’t until I was sipping my coffee after finishing dinner did I speak.
“Every time it takes him a little longer to breathe in, I think that’s it. That’s he gone.”
Orlando swallowed a mouthful of custard tart. “I wish I could say something mildly wistful.”
I shrugged. “I don’t expect you to. I just need to talk…you know?”
He nodded. “I know. Just talk Dom…get it out there.”
I sighed and took another sip of my coffee. At this stage, I’d be awake for a week, considering the amount of cups I’d had.
“I just can’t help but think about the bad things. Until he wakes up and can look me in the eye I just can’t believe he’s gonna be ok.”
Orlando nodded.
“Until Billy is doing jumping jacks and throwing bits of glue at Sean again, I just can’t imagine him being ok. I just love him so much. Not because of who he is, but because of the way he makes me feel when I’m with him.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
Orlando took a sip from his coffee cup. “I’m just so sorry man…”
I swallowed. “So am I. Everything is just so hard.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” Dr Tethers said suddenly, entering the room.
“Hi,” I greeted. “This is a friend of mine and Billy’s. Orli, Dr Tethers.”
The shook hands and Dr Tethers moved to check Billy’s vitals.
“How are things looking?” I asked.
“Good,” she answered, making a note on her clipboard. “More than good. Other than physical injuries, Billy should be fine.”
“He keeps flinching.”
Dr Tethers nodded. “That’s normal. He’s a fighter, this one. Very lucky.”
“Indeed,” Orlando agreed, patting my leg.
“How’s the ankle?”
“Sore,” I admitted. “But I’m gonna take some painkillers and get some sleep.”
“That would be my cue to go.”
“You’re more than welcome to stay, I can get a bed bought up,” Dr Tethers offered.
Orlando looked at me. “Better not. But I’ll come back in the morning.”
I nodded. “That’s cool.”
“You sure?” he asked. “’Cause I can stay if you want me to.”
I shook my head. “No, I think we’re gonna be fine.”
Dr Tethers flashed me a smile and then excused herself and Orlando prepared himself to go.
“I’ll be back in the morning, ok?”
I nodded. “Orlando…thanks so much man, for everything.”
He smiled. “Anytime, mate.”
After Orlando left, I took painkillers and settled into my fresh sheets and fresh clothes.
Sleep came a lot quicker this time, and I slid into a dreamless sleep.
+|+
“Oh God…oh…God…”
I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes.
“Stop…”
Billy?” I called, looking over to where he lay, his hands clenched and his breathing erratic.
“Help me…”
I grabbed his hand and stroked his face. “Billy, wake up.”
Almost instantly, Billy’s eyes flickered open and stared up at me. Tears were rolling down his face.
“Dom.”
I swallowed and nodded. “Yeah Bill, it’s me.”
“I’m so sorry about the chips, Dom.”
Cross posted to:jettabug & ![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
fellow_shippers
Author:
jettabugRating: R for swearing
Feedback: Please!
Author's Notes: To Bunny [
domslover] for being amazing and for letting me love her. Summary: Part Three. If you have a hospital squick, don't read this.
Part One | Part Two
by Jenna
It had to be a dream. Or a hallucination.
“Billy?” I called tentatively, watching the hand twitch once again.
I sat up, reaching for the nurse’s call button, watching for any other sort of response.
But there was nothing.
Billy was still again.
I dropped the call button, but kept my eyes strained on Billy’s hand. I wanted him to wake up. I wanted him to talk to me.
“Oh Billy…” I breathed, lying back down, my head falling onto my pillow.
I was overcome with such exhaustion. It had been so many hours since I’d gotten the phone call, so many hours since I’d seen Billy so broken. So many hours since my world crashed down around me.
The sun was setting on the other side of the blinds, and the last rays of light shone into the room, illuminating it with dying sunlight.
I pressed my eyes closed. I didn’t want to see life when I was so shrouded in death.
I felt like calling my mum, to pour out my heart. But I knew that it wouldn’t be the same. It wouldn’t be like talking to Billy.
“You’re a bastard, you know that?” I whispered into the room. “We could’ve lived without the chips…I should’ve told you that. I’m so sorry Billy…”
As always, silence answered me.
+|+
When I awoke from my sleep, it was dark.
5:19pm on Saturday.
It had taken me hours to get to sleep, I kept waiting, watching Billy to see if he’d move again. I wanted to badly for him to respond, that I kept imagining it was happening.
It was so dark in the hospital room, the only light provided was from the hallway and from the glowing heart rate monitor on the other side of the bed.
I sat up and rubbed my eyes, noticing a tray on the table beside me. I lifted the lid and saw a plate of sandwiches – peanut butter – and a thermos of coffee. I poured myself a cup and drank it fast, before ravenously devouring two sandwiches.
Next to the tray was a note from Dr Tether:
I noticed you had a cell phone. Please give me a call on 0417699825 when you wake up, I need to change your dressings.
I sighed and fished into my pocket for my phone, turned it on and dialled the numbers. I told Dr Tethers I was awake, and she said she’d be there in a minute.
I had another cup of coffee while I waited, and ate the banana on the tray.
“How are you feeling?” Dr Tethers asked as she came into the room.
“I’m fine,” I answered. “It’s Billy who was in the car accident.”
She didn’t answer, just took off my dressings. “This looks bad. You need to have a shower, wash it out, or it’s going to get infected.”
I shrugged. “I may as well lose my foot to infection, I’ve already lost my heart to a road accident.”
Dr Tether set her gaze on me. “He’s not on a slab at the morgue yet.”
I bit my lip to keep from crying. “He moved. He moved his hand yesterday.”
She offered a smile. “That’s only good news. I took a look at his ECG scans and head x-rays today, it looks pretty clear. No dark patches, no bleeding. He’ll be awake soon.”
“If he wakes up at all.”
“Talk like that isn’t going to help.”
I felt a tear slide down my cheek. “You don’t know what’s it like, ok? To watch your best friend like this, so…helpless. In so much pain and suffering and not be able to do anything to help them.”
“Fair enough,” Dr Tethers agreed. “But if you give up, who’s to say Billy won’t?”
I swallowed. She was right.
“I’m leaving some painkillers and anti-biotics for your ankle.” She set two pill bottles down beside my tray. “Take one painkiller every four hours as needed, and the antibiotics after every meal.”
I nodded and rubbed at my face.
“I’ll send a nurse up to re-wrap your gauze, let the wound air for a bit.”
I nodded again and watched as she left the room, and almost immediately was replaced by Orlando.
I waved him in. “Hey,” I said softly as he hoisted an overnight bag up onto the end of the bed before climbing on next to it.
“Elijah is very hurt that he’s not allowed exclusive access to see you two,” Orlando said, leaning up against the end of the bed.
“It’s not exactly a party in here,” I replied, shifting my leg.
“Holy fuck,” Orlando exclaimed, looking at my ankle. “That must’ve been a big piece of fucking glass!”
“Beer bottle,” I offered, reaching up to brush a piece of hair off Billy’s face.
“How’s he going?” Orlando asked.
“He moved his hand just after you left last night.”
“That’s good,” he said.
I shrugged. “Dr Tethers thinks he’s gonna be awake soon.”
Orlando frowned. “Do you not think so?”
“It’s just…it’s hard to believe that he’s gonna wake up when he looks like this…”
“Gotta have faith, mate.”
“But what happens if he doesn’t wake up?”
Orlando sighed. “We’ll cross that bridge if we come to it.”
Tears welled up in my eyes. “How will I be able to let him go?”
Orlando leant forward and placed a hand on my leg. “You’re not supposed to,” he said. “When you love someone as much as you love him, you’re never supposed to just let them go.”
“I can’t do this.”
“Yes you can.”
I looked over at Orlando, tears streaming down my face. “What will I do without him?”
Orlando got up off the bed and came over to my side, perching on the side of the bed, he took me in his arms, hugging me close to him.
My shoulders shook as I sobbed into Orlando’s navy t-shirt. I clung onto him with all my strength, letting the emotions flow from my body.
I don’t know how long he hugged me like that while I cried.
“Look man, there’s not much I can say to make you feel any better, but I can be here for you, ok? I can come and spend time with you, to have a chat, anything.”
“Thanks Orli,” I said softly, sniffing and let go of him.
“Look what you did to my fucking t-shirt!” Orlando exclaimed, pointing to the snotty, wet mess on his shoulder.
I smiled. “Sorry man. You said anything you could do…”
“Ha ha,” Orlando said sarcastically.
I sniffed again. “I need a shower.”
“I’m glad one of us had the guts to mention it, because Billy wasn’t gonna.”
I smiled a small smile. “Can you stay? Just be with him while I go get cleaned up?”
Orlando nodded. “’Course.”
I got up off my bed and flinched as I put pressure on my ankle. “Thanks man.”
I grabbed the overnight bag and headed for the bathroom in the corner of the room. I locked myself away and stripped off my clothes, and stood in front of the mirror.
What I saw shocked me.
I had a few days worth of stubble on my chin, and dark bags under my eyes. My face was red from crying and I could nearly see the dirt and grit in my hair.
I stepped under the hot spray and winced as the water hit my tender ankle.
I cleaned my body with the soap Orlando had bought, and washed my hair with the shampoo.
I stepped out of the cubicle feeling just a fraction better. I shaved and dressed in sweatpants and a t-shirt and dried off my hair.
“You look marginally better,” Orlando commented as I limped out of the bathroom, carrying my bag.
“Thanks to you. I probably would’ve lived in my filth till Billy woke up.”
Orlando wrinkled his nose up in disgust. “Ok that’s gross.”
I smiled and climbed up onto the bed.
“Oh, a nurse came by. Said she’d be back soon with fresh sheets and to do your ankle.”
I nodded and shifted painfully as my wound swiped over the bed sheets, leaving a blood trail as it moved.
A nurse bustled into the room and re-applied my bandages, dousing my ankle with the most horrible smelling antiseptic ever. I cringed as she picked and prodded at my stitches with her tweezers.
“That hurt?” she asked.
“Aye.”
She didn’t respond, just picked at it some more before dousing it again and wrapping it up.
She motioned for Orlando and I to get off the bed, and she changed my white sheets to soft cotton blue ones.
“Thank you,” I told her as she left the room with barely a word. But I didn’t have time to think about it as yet another nurse bought in a tray of piping hot food.
“You get food here?”
“Billy’s not eating it.”
“You think I can get one of those?” Orlando asked the nurse, flashing his pearly whites.
“Of course,” she answered and brought in another tray.
Orlando dragged over another table and rubbed his hands together in anticipation.
“Don’t get too excited, Orli. It’s hospital food.”
He lifted the lid. “Yum. Roast chicken.”
We tucked into the food with minimal conversation, but I kept one eye firmly on Billy as he flinched in his sleep.
It wasn’t until I was sipping my coffee after finishing dinner did I speak.
“Every time it takes him a little longer to breathe in, I think that’s it. That’s he gone.”
Orlando swallowed a mouthful of custard tart. “I wish I could say something mildly wistful.”
I shrugged. “I don’t expect you to. I just need to talk…you know?”
He nodded. “I know. Just talk Dom…get it out there.”
I sighed and took another sip of my coffee. At this stage, I’d be awake for a week, considering the amount of cups I’d had.
“I just can’t help but think about the bad things. Until he wakes up and can look me in the eye I just can’t believe he’s gonna be ok.”
Orlando nodded.
“Until Billy is doing jumping jacks and throwing bits of glue at Sean again, I just can’t imagine him being ok. I just love him so much. Not because of who he is, but because of the way he makes me feel when I’m with him.”
“Wow.”
“I know.”
Orlando took a sip from his coffee cup. “I’m just so sorry man…”
I swallowed. “So am I. Everything is just so hard.”
“Sorry to interrupt,” Dr Tethers said suddenly, entering the room.
“Hi,” I greeted. “This is a friend of mine and Billy’s. Orli, Dr Tethers.”
The shook hands and Dr Tethers moved to check Billy’s vitals.
“How are things looking?” I asked.
“Good,” she answered, making a note on her clipboard. “More than good. Other than physical injuries, Billy should be fine.”
“He keeps flinching.”
Dr Tethers nodded. “That’s normal. He’s a fighter, this one. Very lucky.”
“Indeed,” Orlando agreed, patting my leg.
“How’s the ankle?”
“Sore,” I admitted. “But I’m gonna take some painkillers and get some sleep.”
“That would be my cue to go.”
“You’re more than welcome to stay, I can get a bed bought up,” Dr Tethers offered.
Orlando looked at me. “Better not. But I’ll come back in the morning.”
I nodded. “That’s cool.”
“You sure?” he asked. “’Cause I can stay if you want me to.”
I shook my head. “No, I think we’re gonna be fine.”
Dr Tethers flashed me a smile and then excused herself and Orlando prepared himself to go.
“I’ll be back in the morning, ok?”
I nodded. “Orlando…thanks so much man, for everything.”
He smiled. “Anytime, mate.”
After Orlando left, I took painkillers and settled into my fresh sheets and fresh clothes.
Sleep came a lot quicker this time, and I slid into a dreamless sleep.
+|+
“Oh God…oh…God…”
I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes.
“Stop…”
Billy?” I called, looking over to where he lay, his hands clenched and his breathing erratic.
“Help me…”
I grabbed his hand and stroked his face. “Billy, wake up.”
Almost instantly, Billy’s eyes flickered open and stared up at me. Tears were rolling down his face.
“Dom.”
I swallowed and nodded. “Yeah Bill, it’s me.”
“I’m so sorry about the chips, Dom.”
Cross posted to:
jettabug & fellow_shippers
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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*braving my needle phobia to read the good stuff*
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you made me cry! :(
omg, you must finish this story immediately! i command you! :D
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And hunny I am so honoured that u love me, i don't deserve it man.
Bunny
xxxxxxxx
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OMG
Viki