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monaboyd Mar. 3rd, 2004 08:42 pm)
perfect-oasis.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Mar. 3rd, 2004 08:42 pm)Title: Slug Bug, No Return
Author: The Phantom Writer![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
silentnumbsmoke
Pairing: BB/DM
Pairing: PG-13
Feedback: I adore feedback. And I adore people who give feedback.
Disclaimer: This isn't real. Nope, not so much.
Notes: This is... humor! Yup. I wrote humor. I wrote this 'bout... almost a month ago, I'd say. And now I give it to you.
So, yesh. Humor, and the closest to smut I've ever written (not to say that I'll never write it. I just haven't yet.)!
I happen to drive a VW Beetle, and I was driving in town... and, well, I love the idea that other people play the slug bug game when they see my car. I mean, I play it religiously (and, when I'm alone in the car, which is most of the time, I slug myself -- to practice and keep up my form, of course! Heh.), so... yesh. I was driving in town when this story popped into my head.
“Slug bug, no return.”
Billy started at the light punch Dominic delivered to his arm. He sighed. “For the millionth time, Dom, I don’t play this game!”
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t!” Dom grinned cheekily before letting out another yell. “Punch buggy!” His fist made contact with Billy’s arm once more.
“Dommie,” the patient man spoke calmly. “I can’t drive if you keep yelling in my ear.”
“You seem to be doing pretty well so far,” Dom retorted. Nevertheless, the next time a VW Beetle passed by, a whisper accompanied the punch.
“Slug bug, no return!”
Billy shook his head, exasperated. “I wish Lij hadn’t caught you on to this game…”
“LA is just crawling with buggies,” Dom grinned.
“Then Lij’s arm must be covered with bruises,” Billy winced as a VW turned in front of them.
After five more minutes and seven more punches, Billy finally let out a shout. “Dominic!”
Dom blinked innocently, his eyes wide.
“I love you, but I can’t drive with you hitting me all the time!”
“All right.”
Billy smiled. “Good.” He started driving again as the light turned to green, pleased that the game was over.
Dominic reached out and took Billy’s left hand, the one not occupied with driving. “Slug bug, no return,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Billy’s hand.
With a chuckle, Billy grinned. “That’s better.”
“Sedan, no return.” Another kiss on Billy’s wrist.
“Telephone pole, no return.”
“Tree, no return.”
Dom was slowly kissing his way up Billy’s arm. He pulled on his seatbelt for slack. Once he started adding street signs to his game (“Yield sign, no return.” “40 miles per hour sign, no return.”), he quickly passed Billy’s shoulder and, with a smile, pressed a kiss to Billy’s temple. “Handsome Scotsman, no return,” he whispered, flicking his tongue in and out of Billy’s ear.
That’s it. Unable to concentrate on the road any longer, Billy switched on his turn signal and turned into an empty parking lot. As soon as the ignition was cut and the parking brake on, he attacked Dom’s wandering lips passionately. “Dom,” he gasped between kisses. “I can’t drive if…” his hands roamed through Dom’s gloriously floppy hair. “… if you keep… distracting me!”
“Oops,” Dom chuckled, moving his hand downwards, groping heated areas. “It seems to me you don’t mind it as much as you say,” he teased. He groaned, unbuckling his seat belt and reaching over his boyfriend, grabbing a lever. Pushing against Billy, the driver’s seat remained in the sitting position but slid back several feet.
Billy’s hands fell towards his buckle but were caught by Dom’s. “No, you get to keep your buckle on,” he grinned wickedly, crawling over the small partition between the seats and kneeling on the floor, one of Billy’s knees on either side of him. “And remember, Billy,” he chuckled huskily, “people can see you.”
Billy turned his head to the left, noticing all the cars passing. Shite, this was going to be hard. But, as he was hard as well, he definitely needed this relief.
He hadn’t even noticed as Dom swiftly popped the button on his jeans, but he suddenly knew it had happened as he felt Dom’s hand wrap around his length.
“Dom,” he gasped.
“Don’t forget… you have an audience, Bills,” Dom whispered before placing his lips around Billy’s cock.
Billy bit his lip, swallowing. He closed his eyes. A minute later, he opened them just in time to see a police car drive into the empty lot. “Shite!” He exclaimed. “Dom! Police alert, police alert!”
Dominic raised an eyebrow in indifference.
“Shite, Dom, you’re no help,” Billy gulped, turning slightly (but not enough to knock Dom off) to grab a Sunday paper from the back seat. He tore it open and laid it out in front of him, biting his lip as he attempted to look interested in the paper and the paper alone.
He closed his eyes briefly, hoping that he held the strength to look indifferent as the cop walked up to the car, knocking on the glass. Let’s see if you’re as good an actor as everyone says, Billy. Rolling down the window, Billy widened his eyes, trying to look bored and surprised to see the man. “Is there a problem, sir?”
“No,” the policeman spoke slowly, obviously running his gaze to the backseats before settling his eyes on Billy. “I was just wondering what you’re doing here in this parking lot. None of the stores are open today,” he reminded, more than a little suspicious.
“Oh, I’m very aware, officer,” Billy spoke with an understanding smile. “I’m meeting some friends here. They’re coming from the airport, and I couldn’t meet them there because I had an engagement. They don’t know their way around Glasgow, so I figured I’d meet them here and let them follow me in their car.”
After a long hesitation, the officer nodded. “All right…” He nodded curtly. “Have a good day.”
“You too, sir!” Billy called to the man who was retreating to his car. As soon as the car had returned to the busy highway and was out of sight, Billy let out a deep sigh of relief before dropping the paper and allowing a deep shudder to run through his body. He slumped in his seat and looked down at his grinning boyfriend, who was licking his lips happily. “If that had happened just a minute earlier…” he warned, working to control his erratically-timed heartbeat.
“I know,” Dominic grinned, bouncing happily as he buttoned up Billy’s jeans before crawling back to his seat. “On to home!” he exclaimed, raising a fist into the air.
Billy stared at his boyfriend in shock before shaking his head. “God, Dom,” he murmured. “You’re going to drive me insane.” He pulled his seat forward and started the car, moving to return to the highway.
There was a moment of silence before a finger poked his arm. “Slug bug,” Billy turned to gape at Dominic, who was grinning, a wicked gleam in his blue-gray eyes, “no return.”
Author: The Phantom Writer
silentnumbsmoke Pairing: BB/DM
Pairing: PG-13
Feedback: I adore feedback. And I adore people who give feedback.
Disclaimer: This isn't real. Nope, not so much.
Notes: This is... humor! Yup. I wrote humor. I wrote this 'bout... almost a month ago, I'd say. And now I give it to you.
So, yesh. Humor, and the closest to smut I've ever written (not to say that I'll never write it. I just haven't yet.)!
I happen to drive a VW Beetle, and I was driving in town... and, well, I love the idea that other people play the slug bug game when they see my car. I mean, I play it religiously (and, when I'm alone in the car, which is most of the time, I slug myself -- to practice and keep up my form, of course! Heh.), so... yesh. I was driving in town when this story popped into my head.
“Slug bug, no return.”
Billy started at the light punch Dominic delivered to his arm. He sighed. “For the millionth time, Dom, I don’t play this game!”
“But that doesn’t mean I can’t!” Dom grinned cheekily before letting out another yell. “Punch buggy!” His fist made contact with Billy’s arm once more.
“Dommie,” the patient man spoke calmly. “I can’t drive if you keep yelling in my ear.”
“You seem to be doing pretty well so far,” Dom retorted. Nevertheless, the next time a VW Beetle passed by, a whisper accompanied the punch.
“Slug bug, no return!”
Billy shook his head, exasperated. “I wish Lij hadn’t caught you on to this game…”
“LA is just crawling with buggies,” Dom grinned.
“Then Lij’s arm must be covered with bruises,” Billy winced as a VW turned in front of them.
After five more minutes and seven more punches, Billy finally let out a shout. “Dominic!”
Dom blinked innocently, his eyes wide.
“I love you, but I can’t drive with you hitting me all the time!”
“All right.”
Billy smiled. “Good.” He started driving again as the light turned to green, pleased that the game was over.
Dominic reached out and took Billy’s left hand, the one not occupied with driving. “Slug bug, no return,” he murmured, pressing his lips to Billy’s hand.
With a chuckle, Billy grinned. “That’s better.”
“Sedan, no return.” Another kiss on Billy’s wrist.
“Telephone pole, no return.”
“Tree, no return.”
Dom was slowly kissing his way up Billy’s arm. He pulled on his seatbelt for slack. Once he started adding street signs to his game (“Yield sign, no return.” “40 miles per hour sign, no return.”), he quickly passed Billy’s shoulder and, with a smile, pressed a kiss to Billy’s temple. “Handsome Scotsman, no return,” he whispered, flicking his tongue in and out of Billy’s ear.
That’s it. Unable to concentrate on the road any longer, Billy switched on his turn signal and turned into an empty parking lot. As soon as the ignition was cut and the parking brake on, he attacked Dom’s wandering lips passionately. “Dom,” he gasped between kisses. “I can’t drive if…” his hands roamed through Dom’s gloriously floppy hair. “… if you keep… distracting me!”
“Oops,” Dom chuckled, moving his hand downwards, groping heated areas. “It seems to me you don’t mind it as much as you say,” he teased. He groaned, unbuckling his seat belt and reaching over his boyfriend, grabbing a lever. Pushing against Billy, the driver’s seat remained in the sitting position but slid back several feet.
Billy’s hands fell towards his buckle but were caught by Dom’s. “No, you get to keep your buckle on,” he grinned wickedly, crawling over the small partition between the seats and kneeling on the floor, one of Billy’s knees on either side of him. “And remember, Billy,” he chuckled huskily, “people can see you.”
Billy turned his head to the left, noticing all the cars passing. Shite, this was going to be hard. But, as he was hard as well, he definitely needed this relief.
He hadn’t even noticed as Dom swiftly popped the button on his jeans, but he suddenly knew it had happened as he felt Dom’s hand wrap around his length.
“Dom,” he gasped.
“Don’t forget… you have an audience, Bills,” Dom whispered before placing his lips around Billy’s cock.
Billy bit his lip, swallowing. He closed his eyes. A minute later, he opened them just in time to see a police car drive into the empty lot. “Shite!” He exclaimed. “Dom! Police alert, police alert!”
Dominic raised an eyebrow in indifference.
“Shite, Dom, you’re no help,” Billy gulped, turning slightly (but not enough to knock Dom off) to grab a Sunday paper from the back seat. He tore it open and laid it out in front of him, biting his lip as he attempted to look interested in the paper and the paper alone.
He closed his eyes briefly, hoping that he held the strength to look indifferent as the cop walked up to the car, knocking on the glass. Let’s see if you’re as good an actor as everyone says, Billy. Rolling down the window, Billy widened his eyes, trying to look bored and surprised to see the man. “Is there a problem, sir?”
“No,” the policeman spoke slowly, obviously running his gaze to the backseats before settling his eyes on Billy. “I was just wondering what you’re doing here in this parking lot. None of the stores are open today,” he reminded, more than a little suspicious.
“Oh, I’m very aware, officer,” Billy spoke with an understanding smile. “I’m meeting some friends here. They’re coming from the airport, and I couldn’t meet them there because I had an engagement. They don’t know their way around Glasgow, so I figured I’d meet them here and let them follow me in their car.”
After a long hesitation, the officer nodded. “All right…” He nodded curtly. “Have a good day.”
“You too, sir!” Billy called to the man who was retreating to his car. As soon as the car had returned to the busy highway and was out of sight, Billy let out a deep sigh of relief before dropping the paper and allowing a deep shudder to run through his body. He slumped in his seat and looked down at his grinning boyfriend, who was licking his lips happily. “If that had happened just a minute earlier…” he warned, working to control his erratically-timed heartbeat.
“I know,” Dominic grinned, bouncing happily as he buttoned up Billy’s jeans before crawling back to his seat. “On to home!” he exclaimed, raising a fist into the air.
Billy stared at his boyfriend in shock before shaking his head. “God, Dom,” he murmured. “You’re going to drive me insane.” He pulled his seat forward and started the car, moving to return to the highway.
There was a moment of silence before a finger poked his arm. “Slug bug,” Billy turned to gape at Dominic, who was grinning, a wicked gleam in his blue-gray eyes, “no return.”
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From:
no subject
This was cute. It's always fun to read about them doing stupid, ordinary things that the rest of us do.
From:
no subject
Same here. Took me a second when reading the summary to figure out what the hell a slug bug was. ;)
From:
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From:
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no subject
I LOVE IT!
“Handsome Scotsman, no return,” he whispered, flicking his tongue in and out of Billy’s ear.
Ooohyes. I have a thing for tongue-ear.
“Don’t forget… you have an audience, Bills,” Dom whispered before placing his lips around Billy’s cock.
Oooooohyes. I have a thing for public too.
;)
From:
no subject
I love it. Very good.
From:
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adorabubble :)
From:
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“Tree, no return.”
Dom was slowly kissing his way up Billy’s arm. He pulled on his seatbelt for slack. Once he started adding street signs to his game (“Yield sign, no return.” “40 miles per hour sign, no return.”), he quickly passed Billy’s shoulder and, with a smile, pressed a kiss to Billy’s temple. “Handsome Scotsman, no return,” he whispered, flicking his tongue in and out of Billy’s ear.
lmao i love the tree thing, so great. o the stop in a quick parking lot to have a quick BJ
From:
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I loved this so much. You... every time I read your fics I'm always left stunned at how great they are.
From:
no subject
I can see the progression going the way it did, from slug bug, no return to tree, no return etc etc. Very cute.
Made me grin, especially as I just read an angsty piece. This was nice to balance it out. I liked :D