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[tiddly-pom.livejournal.com]

Title: Grief.

Author: Tiddly_Pom

Pairings: DM/BB

Rating: PG

Summary: Billy is always there for Dom when he needs him most.

Warnings: Character Death, neither Billy nor Dom.

Title: Grief.

Author: Tiddly_Pom

Pairings: DM/BB

Rating: PG

Summary: Billy is always there for Dom when he needs him most.

Warnings: Character Death, neither Billy nor Dom.

Feedback: And I’ll love you forever.

Disclaimer: All product of imagination.

A/N: I apologise now for this complete and utter travesty of a fic. 

 

Billy did his routine check before exiting the train, at times like this, routine means everything. The situation reminded him so much of his past; the same emotions were raging in the pit of his stomach. He felt like a child again, after all, we’re all children in grief.

 

   He had to brace himself to bear the sight that met him, there was Dom, his Dom. Face crushed, and he suddenly seemed so small, waiting in the busy station, shrinking against the wall to his best ability. He was hunching his shoulders as if he was seeking protection, unable to stomach further hurt.

 

He looked faint to Billy, faded in some way, as if parts of him were no longer present, just gone, and in a way that was true. Matt had died, a car crash apparently, Billy wasn’t clear on the details, just on what this meant to Dom, how this would damage to one he. . .

 

His breath caught in his throat but he just sucked in air and caught his damaged friend in a strong embrace, luggage at his feet. Dom’s arm was tight around his back clutching at Billy as if he were his only support. 

 

‘Oh God, Billy.’ Words were chocked into his neck.

 

‘Shush now, I know. Shush.’ Billy whispered calming nonsense to his distraught friend.

 

The funeral was later that day Billy would have much preferred to come down earlier, but he’d only got the call the night before. It wrenched him terribly that Dom had been suffering so with minimal support, all those around him were mourning themselves.

 

‘C’mon lad, let’s get you home and warm.’

 

                                                ****************

 

Billy experienced the run up to the funeral through a hazy bubble, he’d only met Matt once or twice, but thinking of the pain Dom was in made sharp shooting pains run through his hands and he had to concentrate on regulating his breathing. He had developed a worried wrinkle, right between his brows and it stuck there like glue as he observed and comforted Dom throughout the ride to the church, and the service.

 

He was not quite prepared for the vice like grip on his hand when Dom saw the casket, he felt the other mans whole body tremble and weaken further. He could practically feel the tears stinging Dom’s eyes, most likely because they were stinging his also.

The move to the graveyard offered up a sharp respite, the cold winter air cut through the foggy grief to some extent, but only really succeeded in making it clearer. Sharp breath was illustrated in the air, the frantic breath of those crying their heats out, and the slow synchronized breath of those suppressing the true extent of their feeling. 

 

Dom’ eyes were clouded and watery, his face drawn. The keenness of his misery was almost palpable to Billy despite his reserved countenance. The serious face was alien to Billy, and he realized it would be a good while before he saw that wicked smile, the cheeky grin or heard one of his appalling jokes. The man beside him would shake his head, ever so slightly every few minutes, to wake him up, unable to comprehend the loss of one so dear.

 

It was at hearing the snorting sniffle of the one beside him that he had to fight down the unknown love he felt for Dom, it was like a bird, locked in a too small cage, beating its wings frantically to get out. Billy could almost imagine his rapid heartbeat to be the wings of the trapped animal.

 

Billy felt such guilt, lingering over his own pains in the face of such complete, utter wretched sorrow. Though it struck the Scotsman that Dom had yet to release a single tear, he felt sure the tidal wave of tears would come sooner or later, for certain.

 

He turned from his observation of his best friend to watch the coffin being lowered, his hand on Dom’s shoulder.

 

                                                ****************

 

 

A short while later Billy sat with a silent Dom nursing his beer in the local pub. The rest of the service had gone back to Dom’s house for the wake.

 

His fried was silent, just breathing in through his nose, out through his mouth. In through his nose, out through his mouth, Billy found it enthralling.

 

As the next two hours passed, Billy watched Dom drown his melancholy unsuccessfully.

 

‘Dom, I think it’s time I took you home.’

 

Dom offered up no argument, he just clutched at Billy as they stood, pressing his face into the chest before him. ‘’k Bill’

 

After much struggling and stumbling, Billy managed to manoeuvre a drunken Dom down the street, into his house and into his bedroom. 

 

It was messy, the quilt on the bed was rumpled, bottles and knickknacks littered the surfaces, clothes were scattered across the floor. There was an open packed bag of clothes Dom had taken with him and posters of various films and models decorated the blue walls. It was the room of a teenaged boy, there was no doubting that.

 

Dom flopped down onto his unmade bed and reached an arm out for Billy to join him. Billy sat carefully at Dom’s feet, near the pillows. After a stretch of silence Dom began to speak.

 

‘I feel like a string Bill.’

 

‘A string?’  Billy turned to look Dom in the eyes.

 

‘I used to be tied to something, but now I’ve been cut, and I’m flailing in the wind, anchored to nothing and wretchedly alone.’

 

‘Not alone Dom, you have me. And ‘lij and Orli. You’re not alone.’

 

‘‘s not the same’

 

 ‘I know Dommeh, I know.’ 

 

Dom shifted so his head was in Billy’s lap, and almost automatically Billy began to card his fingers through Dom’s short hair.

 

The intense pains returned to Billy’s hands as he heard a few muffled sobs come from the man in his lap. At first Dom tried to wipe the tears from his cheeks, but the grief he felt just intensified to the extent that his hands were shaking too violently for him to do anything but clutch desperately at Billy’s shirt.

 

 ‘It hurts so much’ He ground out hoarsely.

 

Billy could say nothing, so he just rubbed his back as Dom wailed his anguish into his shirt. It seemed like hours of heart wrenching sobs later when Dom had finally calmed to the odd sniffle and hiccup.

 

‘Bill?’

 

‘Yes Dom?’

 

 ‘I love you Bill.’

 

Billy’s hand paused for the smallest of seconds before he replied, ‘I love you too, you know that.’

 

Dom shifted from where he was nuzzling into Billy’s lap. Billy examined him closely, his eyes were bloodshot, his face pale, his hair mussed. They were still wearing black suits, rumpled terribly now, and inside Billy thought that he had never loved Dom more.

 

Dom leaned forward and drunkenly mashed his lips against Billy’s, who tensed immediately. Billy gently pushed Dom’s face away from his, clammy hands coming into contact with sticky tear stained cheeks.

 

‘Dom, you’re drunk.’

 

‘No I’m not. Well, I am but I wanted to kiss you anyway. I have for ages.’

 

‘Ages?’

 

‘Ages and ages Bill, please?’ His face leaned in closer again and once again their mouths crashed together. Dom tasted of salt and beer, their teeth clacked and it was sloppy.

 

Despite this, and despite the situation, despite their chests still being tight and their throats tight and their feelings so incredibly fragile. And despite them both being utterly exhausted, it was the best kiss either of them had ever shared.

 

Billy knew that it was probable that this was just a fit of drunkenness, and Dom knew for sure that he would have to reassure Billy come morning and that he had just started something that would be incredibly hard, but hopefully just as wonderful, but such things would be thought of come morning. So Dom slept with his head in Billy’s lap, and Billy slept against a wall, for his Dom.

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                ****************

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Oh God.

 

Comments

[light-the-sky76.livejournal.com]

Very nice, poor Dommie, I'm sure Billy comfort him.

(Just one tiny typo: His fried was silent, just breathing in through his nose, I'm assuming it should be friend.

Also, is there supposed to be more at the end, after Billy and Dom fall asleep?

I hope you don't think I'm nitpicking, I just thought you'd like to know. )

[owlgrey.livejournal.com]

This was so sad, but Billy is such a good friend to Dom.