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monaboyd Dec. 16th, 2007 08:35 pm)
hyacinth-sky747.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Dec. 16th, 2007 08:35 pm)Snow Flowers
d/b
Disclaimer: This is not a true story.
hurt/comfort
Part One
Dom said his head hurt, that he was tired. The beer, he said had only made these things worse. This was not a lie but his pulse quickened as if it was one as he threw a wad of bills onto the table. Billy turned his face away from the red-head he was wooing, concern flickering over his features for a moment before he gave Dom a wink.
Dom gave him a tight smile in return and made his way through the press of people in the lodge. The air outside was shockingly cold, filled with the drone of the snow-grooming machines up on the mountain. Dom ducked his head into the collar of his jacket and hurried as best he could through the whirling snow.
The rented condo was far too quiet. He knew if he tried to sleep he would just toss and turn despite his exhaustion. He started a fire in the hearth and poured himself a glass of whiskey. Perhaps it wouldn’t help his head, but the ache there seemed small in comparison to the great thumping and twisting feelings around his heart.
He sat for a long while, staring morosely into the flames, filling his glass more times than he ought. He was startled when a log fell in the fire, sending up a shower of bright sparks. His head swam as he rose. He stumbled; nearly fell forward onto the hearth. His eyes stung with tears of self-pity.
“You’re in a sad state,” he told himself. “Go to bed before you do damage.”
He nodded at this wisdom but when he was stretched out beneath the blankets sleep would not find him. It was too quiet. His thoughts wouldn’t settle. He was awake when Billy came home.
He heard the muffled footsteps and the sound of the door closing. He heard giggling and Billy’s voice rumbling.
“Shhh! Dom’s sleeping. I don’t think he was feeling well.”
Their voices quieted after that. Dom strained his ears but he couldn’t hear them kissing. He heard their footsteps pass his door and held his breath.
He knew they were trying to be quiet, to be considerate of the fact that Dom was sleeping not more than a foot from where they lay, though a wall was between them. Dom could hear them anyway and his face burned. The twisting, aching feeling in his chest that the whiskey had soothed came back with a vengeance.
Dom would liked to have seen her. Jealous as he was, he knew that she was beautiful. She had that porcelain-white skin that goes with red hair. Her legs were long and lovely and wrapped around Billy. Dom imagined Billy’s delicate fingers sliding up them. He heard her gasp and gripped his pillow tighter.
The sounds of their love-making grew frantic, urgent.
Good, Dom thought. It’s just lust then. Just hard, cold lust. Not love. Love wouldn’t sound like that. It’d be softer.
He wasn’t sure if he believed that but the thought comforted him. And, of course, it couldn’t be love. They had only just met. They’d probably never see each other again after this weekend. It was just a fuck. Just a bit of fun.
But you’re his best friend. You’ll get to love him always. Dom told himself. It was a good thought, the last one he had before he fell asleep.
~*~
She was there in the morning. She wore a white robe. When she leaned forward Dom could see down the front of it. He didn’t try to look away. He felt he somehow deserved this peek at her.
“Is your head feeling better?” Billy asked.
Dom turned to him. He could tell by Billy’s expression that he’d been caught peeping but he didn’t care. He shrugged his shoulders.
“It’s alright.” Dom pretended to be wholly absorbed by the paper until she left. Billy looked at him oddly but Dom didn’t put down the paper until Billy went to get dressed.
~*~
Billy wiped out.
Dom was behind him and watched it happen. It was strangely beautiful, like acrobatics. If it had been on purpose Dom would have applauded. Billy flipped, right the hell over, abandoning Earth for the briefest of moments. A spray of snow followed him in an arc. Time slowed down and Dom felt himself smile.
Billy crumpled into the snow and a short, sharp cry escaped him. He didn’t move after that.
When Dom got to him he could see Billy’s blood on the snow. He literally could not breathe for a moment. He felt his mouth open and close and could not draw breath looking at the blood, bright on the snow.
“Billy!”
He yelled the name again and again. He was afraid to touch him, fearing neck injury or…
“Billy!”
Ski patrol was yelling at him, coming toward him, snow flying everywhere. Billy grunted and rolled over.
“Settle down. I’m alright.”
Dom grabbed Billy’s hand, collapsed into the soft snow beside him. He thought he would pass out from relief, he wanted to, but it seemed such a selfish thing to do when Billy was the one who was hurt.
~*~
The medical building was white and clean. Billy got five stitches in his head. Dom went into the toilet and vomited. By the time he pulled himself together Billy was waiting patiently in a wheelchair by the door.
“Thank god it’s winter. I’ve a bald spot. I’ll have to wear a hat.”
“You have another bald spot, you mean.”
“Shut it. You’re to keep an eye on me. I’m not supposed to lose consciousness suddenly, or walk funny, or talk nonsense, or…anything fun.”
“Jesus, you’d better stay here. That’s your normal state.”
“I tried to tell them.”
“I’ll keep an eye on you.”
“Two eyes.”
Dom didn’t want to say something witty.
“I can hardly help myself on most days anyway.”
Billy frowned a little at Dom’s tone, but Dom was already behind him, wheeling him toward the door.
~*~
It was his birthday. Billy insisted that they all wear kilts in honor of it.
“It’s cold as arse out. My bits will freeze. Your bits will freeze.”
“We’ll be in the pub. I’ll spring for a taxi.”
That’s how Dom came to find himself spending his birthday trying to look up Billy’s kilt.
Unfortunately Billy seemed to have some practice keeping himself under wraps. Dom nursed a beer and indulged in creating scenarios that would allow him a peek. Billy might fall over, or Dom might, right at Billy’s feet. It could be windy. Viggo might lift it up just for a laugh.
No, Dom didn’t want everyone to see. He wanted his own private viewing, something just for him. It was his birthday.
He wondered if anyone was trying to get peek at him, and if they were, Dom thought he’d rather like to indulge them. It seemed only fair. He shifted in his seat, but the table was in front of him anyway.
“You might want to be more subtle about it.”
Miranda put her hand on Dom’s shoulder.
“About what?”
“Trying to look up Billy’s skirt.”
Dom shrugged. It was best not to deny too much in these situations.
“He has a cute bum. Have you seen it?”
“Everyone’s seen it. And yours. You’re not exactly shy are you?”
“I’m an actor. And I’ve got a beautiful arse.”
Miranda giggled and kissed his cheek. “That you do, birthday boy.”
Viggo slid into the booth. He put his arm around Dom’s shoulders in a way that felt more like a headlock than an embrace.
“How many birthday spankings do you get this year, Dommie? And more importantly, who’s going to give them to you?”
Dom elbowed him in the ribs.
“Not you anyway.”
“You’re sure? I’d make it fun.”
Dom tried to picture this for a moment, Viggo’s hand on his arse, Billy kneeling on the floor in front of them, watching and licking his lips. He shivered.
“See?” Viggo said. “Try not to dwell on it all night.” He stuck his tongue in Dom’s ear and slithered away.
Dom leaned his head against Miranda’s shoulder.
“He’s a bad man.”
“Evil,” Miranda agreed.
~*~
In the taxi Dom pressed himself close to Billy. His birthday made him bold. He was supposed to have things he wanted.
“A kiss?”
Billy kissed him lightly. Dom put his hand on Billy’s knee.
“Miranda was trying to look up your kilt all night.”
“She finds me irresistible.”
“She never got a peek. I think she was broken hearted.”
“The damage we inflict without knowing it.” There was something sad about Billy’s voice as he said this, though Dom knew Billy didn’t believe Miranda had the hots for him.
Dom put his chin on Billy’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, and moved his hand up a fraction of an inch. He wanted to feel Billy’s thigh. Just that. He just wanted to feel the heat between Billy’s thighs. He moved his hand up further.
“Dommie.”
Billy used his pet name but his voice was firm. It was the tone he always used when Dom was walking the line between amusing him and annoying him.
“My hands are cold.”
“I’m well aware.”
Dom did it. He knew he’d think about it for nights on end, this briefest of seconds. His hand plunged between Billy’s legs. His fingertips brushed the car seat and the palm of his hand held the warm flesh of Billy’s thigh. He leaned forward to lick Billy’s cheek as he pinched him.
Then it was over.
Billy slapped his hand away and straightened his kilt.
“You’ll make me blush. I think I’m in love. Or sick. It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.”
Dom giggled. It was enough. He had gotten some part of what he wanted most for his birthday.
Billy got dropped off first, exiting the cab with many love yous and happy birthdays. Dom would have been content with that but Billy was his best friend and as the cab pulled back into the street he gave Dom his present, pulling up his kilt and mooning him as Dom sped away home.
~*~
What happened next shouldn’t have happened. Not to him. Not to anyone, but especially not to him, not on his birthday. It wouldn’t have happened to him if he hadn’t been hungry. He would have heard about it on the news and felt bad. Then he would have gone on with his life.
The pizza shop was warm and brightly lit. The cashier had brown hair and freckles and talked to Dom about a band they both liked. A song of theirs was playing on the radio. Dom liked him, the cashier. He told him it was his birthday and the boy put in an order of free chips for him. There was a red-headed girl waiting in the corner for her order. Dom thought of Billy’s snow-bird, of Billy’s bright, red blood on the snow. But only briefly. Then he thought about Billy’s arse, about Billy mooning him.
He ordered and smiled at the girl. She was in her late teens, Dom thought. Maybe sixteen or seventeen. It was late for her to be out.
The guy with the black hat came in. Dom could tell he was high on something. Something not good. Dom smiled again and shifted his eyes to the floor. He looked up at the girl. She was uncomfortable.
When he plays the night over in his head, this is when he leaves. This is when he listens to the warning bells clanging in his head and grabs the girl’s hand and quietly leaves.
But he didn’t.
He didn’t do a lot of things. He didn’t notice the bulge that surely must have been visible under the man’s coat. He didn’t say the right things. He didn’t take the bullet for her. He didn’t learn her name before she died. He didn’t know if she heard him when he said goodbye.
~*~
Good-bye, snow bird. Good night bright cardinal. Good-bye.
“Dommie?”
Dom shook himself and smiled. The police office seemed very bright, given the hour.
“Billy.”
“Dommie, thank God.”
“Oh, there isn’t one.”
Billy was crying. Honest to god crying and Dom never saw him do that before, not even when his own blood was making blossoms in the snow. It scared him, to see Billy cry.
“Are you sad, love? It will be okay.”
“Dom.”
“Remember your snow-bird, Bill? She had nice legs. I wanted to feel them around me. I wanted to feel how it felt to be you. I bet she smelled nice. She was lovely to look at.”
Someone bustled over then and used Billy’s elbow to steer him away. Dom tried to listen to what they were saying for a bit.
“Shock…take him to hospital…still want to ask him some questions…you’re okay?...”
It didn’t seem important. He felt like singing.
“Black bird singing in the dead of night! Take these broken wings and learn to fly!”
“Dommie.” Billy was kneeling in front him. He had that tone again.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, love.”
“I think I did. I pinched you. I ought not to have done that. It was my birthday. I just wanted a taste of what the cardinal had.” Dom laughed. “You’re my worm, Bill. I want worms for my birthday.” He paused. “I don’t want it to be my birthday any more.”
Billy was still crying but he smiled. “It’s past midnight. You don’t have to worry any more today.”
“Oh good,” Dom sighed. He remembered feeling so relieved once before. He couldn’t pass out then because Billy was hurt. But now…
Dom crumpled in his seat and slid into Billy’s waiting arms. Billy rubbed his face into Dom’s hair and wept.
d/b
Disclaimer: This is not a true story.
hurt/comfort
Part One
Dom said his head hurt, that he was tired. The beer, he said had only made these things worse. This was not a lie but his pulse quickened as if it was one as he threw a wad of bills onto the table. Billy turned his face away from the red-head he was wooing, concern flickering over his features for a moment before he gave Dom a wink.
Dom gave him a tight smile in return and made his way through the press of people in the lodge. The air outside was shockingly cold, filled with the drone of the snow-grooming machines up on the mountain. Dom ducked his head into the collar of his jacket and hurried as best he could through the whirling snow.
The rented condo was far too quiet. He knew if he tried to sleep he would just toss and turn despite his exhaustion. He started a fire in the hearth and poured himself a glass of whiskey. Perhaps it wouldn’t help his head, but the ache there seemed small in comparison to the great thumping and twisting feelings around his heart.
He sat for a long while, staring morosely into the flames, filling his glass more times than he ought. He was startled when a log fell in the fire, sending up a shower of bright sparks. His head swam as he rose. He stumbled; nearly fell forward onto the hearth. His eyes stung with tears of self-pity.
“You’re in a sad state,” he told himself. “Go to bed before you do damage.”
He nodded at this wisdom but when he was stretched out beneath the blankets sleep would not find him. It was too quiet. His thoughts wouldn’t settle. He was awake when Billy came home.
He heard the muffled footsteps and the sound of the door closing. He heard giggling and Billy’s voice rumbling.
“Shhh! Dom’s sleeping. I don’t think he was feeling well.”
Their voices quieted after that. Dom strained his ears but he couldn’t hear them kissing. He heard their footsteps pass his door and held his breath.
He knew they were trying to be quiet, to be considerate of the fact that Dom was sleeping not more than a foot from where they lay, though a wall was between them. Dom could hear them anyway and his face burned. The twisting, aching feeling in his chest that the whiskey had soothed came back with a vengeance.
Dom would liked to have seen her. Jealous as he was, he knew that she was beautiful. She had that porcelain-white skin that goes with red hair. Her legs were long and lovely and wrapped around Billy. Dom imagined Billy’s delicate fingers sliding up them. He heard her gasp and gripped his pillow tighter.
The sounds of their love-making grew frantic, urgent.
Good, Dom thought. It’s just lust then. Just hard, cold lust. Not love. Love wouldn’t sound like that. It’d be softer.
He wasn’t sure if he believed that but the thought comforted him. And, of course, it couldn’t be love. They had only just met. They’d probably never see each other again after this weekend. It was just a fuck. Just a bit of fun.
But you’re his best friend. You’ll get to love him always. Dom told himself. It was a good thought, the last one he had before he fell asleep.
~*~
She was there in the morning. She wore a white robe. When she leaned forward Dom could see down the front of it. He didn’t try to look away. He felt he somehow deserved this peek at her.
“Is your head feeling better?” Billy asked.
Dom turned to him. He could tell by Billy’s expression that he’d been caught peeping but he didn’t care. He shrugged his shoulders.
“It’s alright.” Dom pretended to be wholly absorbed by the paper until she left. Billy looked at him oddly but Dom didn’t put down the paper until Billy went to get dressed.
~*~
Billy wiped out.
Dom was behind him and watched it happen. It was strangely beautiful, like acrobatics. If it had been on purpose Dom would have applauded. Billy flipped, right the hell over, abandoning Earth for the briefest of moments. A spray of snow followed him in an arc. Time slowed down and Dom felt himself smile.
Billy crumpled into the snow and a short, sharp cry escaped him. He didn’t move after that.
When Dom got to him he could see Billy’s blood on the snow. He literally could not breathe for a moment. He felt his mouth open and close and could not draw breath looking at the blood, bright on the snow.
“Billy!”
He yelled the name again and again. He was afraid to touch him, fearing neck injury or…
“Billy!”
Ski patrol was yelling at him, coming toward him, snow flying everywhere. Billy grunted and rolled over.
“Settle down. I’m alright.”
Dom grabbed Billy’s hand, collapsed into the soft snow beside him. He thought he would pass out from relief, he wanted to, but it seemed such a selfish thing to do when Billy was the one who was hurt.
~*~
The medical building was white and clean. Billy got five stitches in his head. Dom went into the toilet and vomited. By the time he pulled himself together Billy was waiting patiently in a wheelchair by the door.
“Thank god it’s winter. I’ve a bald spot. I’ll have to wear a hat.”
“You have another bald spot, you mean.”
“Shut it. You’re to keep an eye on me. I’m not supposed to lose consciousness suddenly, or walk funny, or talk nonsense, or…anything fun.”
“Jesus, you’d better stay here. That’s your normal state.”
“I tried to tell them.”
“I’ll keep an eye on you.”
“Two eyes.”
Dom didn’t want to say something witty.
“I can hardly help myself on most days anyway.”
Billy frowned a little at Dom’s tone, but Dom was already behind him, wheeling him toward the door.
~*~
It was his birthday. Billy insisted that they all wear kilts in honor of it.
“It’s cold as arse out. My bits will freeze. Your bits will freeze.”
“We’ll be in the pub. I’ll spring for a taxi.”
That’s how Dom came to find himself spending his birthday trying to look up Billy’s kilt.
Unfortunately Billy seemed to have some practice keeping himself under wraps. Dom nursed a beer and indulged in creating scenarios that would allow him a peek. Billy might fall over, or Dom might, right at Billy’s feet. It could be windy. Viggo might lift it up just for a laugh.
No, Dom didn’t want everyone to see. He wanted his own private viewing, something just for him. It was his birthday.
He wondered if anyone was trying to get peek at him, and if they were, Dom thought he’d rather like to indulge them. It seemed only fair. He shifted in his seat, but the table was in front of him anyway.
“You might want to be more subtle about it.”
Miranda put her hand on Dom’s shoulder.
“About what?”
“Trying to look up Billy’s skirt.”
Dom shrugged. It was best not to deny too much in these situations.
“He has a cute bum. Have you seen it?”
“Everyone’s seen it. And yours. You’re not exactly shy are you?”
“I’m an actor. And I’ve got a beautiful arse.”
Miranda giggled and kissed his cheek. “That you do, birthday boy.”
Viggo slid into the booth. He put his arm around Dom’s shoulders in a way that felt more like a headlock than an embrace.
“How many birthday spankings do you get this year, Dommie? And more importantly, who’s going to give them to you?”
Dom elbowed him in the ribs.
“Not you anyway.”
“You’re sure? I’d make it fun.”
Dom tried to picture this for a moment, Viggo’s hand on his arse, Billy kneeling on the floor in front of them, watching and licking his lips. He shivered.
“See?” Viggo said. “Try not to dwell on it all night.” He stuck his tongue in Dom’s ear and slithered away.
Dom leaned his head against Miranda’s shoulder.
“He’s a bad man.”
“Evil,” Miranda agreed.
~*~
In the taxi Dom pressed himself close to Billy. His birthday made him bold. He was supposed to have things he wanted.
“A kiss?”
Billy kissed him lightly. Dom put his hand on Billy’s knee.
“Miranda was trying to look up your kilt all night.”
“She finds me irresistible.”
“She never got a peek. I think she was broken hearted.”
“The damage we inflict without knowing it.” There was something sad about Billy’s voice as he said this, though Dom knew Billy didn’t believe Miranda had the hots for him.
Dom put his chin on Billy’s shoulder, breathing in the scent of his shampoo, and moved his hand up a fraction of an inch. He wanted to feel Billy’s thigh. Just that. He just wanted to feel the heat between Billy’s thighs. He moved his hand up further.
“Dommie.”
Billy used his pet name but his voice was firm. It was the tone he always used when Dom was walking the line between amusing him and annoying him.
“My hands are cold.”
“I’m well aware.”
Dom did it. He knew he’d think about it for nights on end, this briefest of seconds. His hand plunged between Billy’s legs. His fingertips brushed the car seat and the palm of his hand held the warm flesh of Billy’s thigh. He leaned forward to lick Billy’s cheek as he pinched him.
Then it was over.
Billy slapped his hand away and straightened his kilt.
“You’ll make me blush. I think I’m in love. Or sick. It’s hard to tell the difference sometimes.”
Dom giggled. It was enough. He had gotten some part of what he wanted most for his birthday.
Billy got dropped off first, exiting the cab with many love yous and happy birthdays. Dom would have been content with that but Billy was his best friend and as the cab pulled back into the street he gave Dom his present, pulling up his kilt and mooning him as Dom sped away home.
~*~
What happened next shouldn’t have happened. Not to him. Not to anyone, but especially not to him, not on his birthday. It wouldn’t have happened to him if he hadn’t been hungry. He would have heard about it on the news and felt bad. Then he would have gone on with his life.
The pizza shop was warm and brightly lit. The cashier had brown hair and freckles and talked to Dom about a band they both liked. A song of theirs was playing on the radio. Dom liked him, the cashier. He told him it was his birthday and the boy put in an order of free chips for him. There was a red-headed girl waiting in the corner for her order. Dom thought of Billy’s snow-bird, of Billy’s bright, red blood on the snow. But only briefly. Then he thought about Billy’s arse, about Billy mooning him.
He ordered and smiled at the girl. She was in her late teens, Dom thought. Maybe sixteen or seventeen. It was late for her to be out.
The guy with the black hat came in. Dom could tell he was high on something. Something not good. Dom smiled again and shifted his eyes to the floor. He looked up at the girl. She was uncomfortable.
When he plays the night over in his head, this is when he leaves. This is when he listens to the warning bells clanging in his head and grabs the girl’s hand and quietly leaves.
But he didn’t.
He didn’t do a lot of things. He didn’t notice the bulge that surely must have been visible under the man’s coat. He didn’t say the right things. He didn’t take the bullet for her. He didn’t learn her name before she died. He didn’t know if she heard him when he said goodbye.
~*~
Good-bye, snow bird. Good night bright cardinal. Good-bye.
“Dommie?”
Dom shook himself and smiled. The police office seemed very bright, given the hour.
“Billy.”
“Dommie, thank God.”
“Oh, there isn’t one.”
Billy was crying. Honest to god crying and Dom never saw him do that before, not even when his own blood was making blossoms in the snow. It scared him, to see Billy cry.
“Are you sad, love? It will be okay.”
“Dom.”
“Remember your snow-bird, Bill? She had nice legs. I wanted to feel them around me. I wanted to feel how it felt to be you. I bet she smelled nice. She was lovely to look at.”
Someone bustled over then and used Billy’s elbow to steer him away. Dom tried to listen to what they were saying for a bit.
“Shock…take him to hospital…still want to ask him some questions…you’re okay?...”
It didn’t seem important. He felt like singing.
“Black bird singing in the dead of night! Take these broken wings and learn to fly!”
“Dommie.” Billy was kneeling in front him. He had that tone again.
“Did I do something wrong?”
“No, love.”
“I think I did. I pinched you. I ought not to have done that. It was my birthday. I just wanted a taste of what the cardinal had.” Dom laughed. “You’re my worm, Bill. I want worms for my birthday.” He paused. “I don’t want it to be my birthday any more.”
Billy was still crying but he smiled. “It’s past midnight. You don’t have to worry any more today.”
“Oh good,” Dom sighed. He remembered feeling so relieved once before. He couldn’t pass out then because Billy was hurt. But now…
Dom crumpled in his seat and slid into Billy’s waiting arms. Billy rubbed his face into Dom’s hair and wept.
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Nicely done.