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monaboyd Aug. 25th, 2006 06:45 pm)
hyacinth-sky747.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Aug. 25th, 2006 06:45 pm)Giving It Up
d/b
NC-17
Disclaimer: This is all made up.
Thanks to the many beta readers:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
aire_blair waqaychay and babybrothalova and everyone's favorite wank-o-meter cindyjade. All mistakes are mine, not theirs.
Dom shivered in the breeze and wished he hadn’t left his change of clothes in the car. His towel was damp around his shoulders. He thought about burying his body in the sand, but then he’d have to go back in the water to rinse himself off before driving home. Common sense suggested that he wait in car, which was sure to be warmer, but he stayed where he was. Robb would be done surfing any minute. He’d come dripping out of the sea, and Dom wanted to be there for it, for the sight of him, all wet, and for the moment when he pulled at the zipper on his wet suit and slipped his arms out of it.
Dom had already discarded his own wet suit. It lay on the sand like the abandoned hide of some sea creature. He’d only shorts to put on and they were full of sand. Dom scratched at himself through the damp cotton and waited.
Robb was a long time in the waves, and Dom’s teeth were chattering freely when Robb finally strolled up the beach. He pulled at his zipper. Dom tried not to stare. He thought he remembered to close his mouth and not just let it hang agape, but he wasn’t sure.
Robb grabbed his own towel from the sand and sat down next to Dom.
“You’re frozen.”
“I’m okay.”
Robb just nodded and looked out at the gray water for a moment.
“You should have just told me.”
“You were out there,” Dom said gesturing at the Pacific.
“No, I mean, I saw your little television interview last night.”
“Oh.” Dom’s heart beat fast in his rib cage and a warm blush rose on his cheeks. “You have to say things on those shows. You have to say something. You can’t just sit there.”
“So it’s not true then?”
“Pardon?”
“You’re not curious?”
“I have water in my ears. You’ll have to excuse me.”
“You can hear me just fine, Dom.”
“So, what? Is hearing a crime now?”
Robb sighed with impatience and put his face next to Dom’s ear. “Do you, or do you not, want to get in my pants?”
“Well you seem to be the expert on that subject. You heard about it on TV after all and everyone knows that everything you see on…”
“So you do.”
Dom sighed, “It’s not that I want to per se. It’s just something that I think about from time to time.”
“So you don’t want to.”
“Does it matter? This is a ridiculous conversation. I’m not going to go falling in love and send you roses and all that rubbish. Sometimes I just have thoughts in my head. That’s all.”
“I’m not worried about that, Dom. But I wish you had told me. I wouldn’t mind.”
“Wouldn’t mind what?”
“Teaching you a few things.”
“What? You’re….what now?”
“I don’t do it often. The way I see it, men are like treats. I don’t have them too often but…I think you would make a very decadent, very exotic, treat.”
“Exotic? I’m from Manchester.”
“It’s not where you’re from, you monkey. It’s you. When I think of you in my bed…”
Dom shivered, not from the cold. Robb rubbed his arm.
“You’re freezing. Let’s go.”
“Go? Are we…?”
“If you want to, then yes, we are.”
~*~
Dom had always considered himself to be a heterosexual sort of fellow. He had never ever, wanted to put his hands in any man’s pants until he met Billy.
God damn, Billy.
Billy was as straight as the day was long. That didn’t stop him from being a cuddly sort though. Billy and Dom cuddled and kissed their way through the fellowship. They bunked together when quarters were crowded. They got their clothes all mixed up when they did laundry together one day, and didn’t bother to un-mix them. Dom used Billy’s lap as a pillow when it was late at night and they were watching TV. Billy ran his fingers through Dom’s hair.
Dom hugged Billy around his middle, crushed him.
“I can’t breathe.”
“I make you breathless?”
“You make me pant.”
“Ah, Bill,” Dom tried to sit up and put a kiss on Billy’s cheek but his knees wobbled on the couch cushions and his lips landed on Billy’s neck.
“I missed. So sorry.”
“It’s okay. Try again.”
Dom got it right that time, and Billy’s eyes crinkled up with a tired smile. Dom didn’t even think about it. It was just something that happened. He kissed Billy’s smiling lips and then smiled himself. He kissed him again.
Gradually, Billy sank back into the couch cushions and, just as gradually, Dom settled his weight on top of him. It was a tight squeeze on the narrow seat of the couch and Dom ached to throw his leg over his friend and straddle him, but he didn’t. He just let his chest rest heavily against Billy’s, let Billy’s hip bone press hard against his belly. His hands fluttered on Billy’s shoulders. He wanted to grab Billy’s face and hold him still so he could kiss him better. He was afraid to make any sudden movements though. He didn’t want Billy to startle. He didn’t want Billy to stop.
Dom remembers that the kisses became wet and longer. Billy’s bottom lip was in his mouth and he felt Billy’s tongue nudge his own. He recoiled for the briefest of seconds, as if some warning signal had gone off in his brain, but it was quickly silenced and ignored. He opened his mouth to Billy. They panted and tangled their tongues. Dom thought if they went on much longer their souls would become tangled up just like their laundry and neither of them would remember where he left off and the other began. I want this. God, I want this.
It was Billy who stopped it. He turned his head and pushed at Dom’s shoulder. Dom flushed and tried to scramble away but Billy held him tight, held Dom’s head to his heaving chest.
“Shush, don’t. It’s alright. We just shouldn’t.”
“I know.”
“You should go in a minute.”
“Okay.”
Billy held him for a moment longer then let him up and stood himself. He turned his back to Dom but Dom caught a glimpse of it anyway, the bulge in Billy’s trousers.
“You okay to drive?”
“It was just a kiss, Bill.” An intoxicating kiss, but still, he could drive.
“You’ll show yourself out?”
“Sure.”
Despite his words, Dom had sat for a long time in the drive, willing his hands to stop shaking.
~*~
Dom was still shivering and clutching his towel when he stood in Robb’s bedroom.
“Relax, Dom.”
“Okay,” Dom said, but he didn’t.
“Listen, I don’t want to know how much sand you have in your shorts. Why don’t you take a shower first? Warm up. I’ll use the one downstairs.”
Dom was grateful for the break. He needed time to sort himself out, to stop acting like a fourteen-year-old. He smiled and turned to go but Robb caught his wrist.
“Give me something to think about, huh?”
Robb pressed his lips to Dom’s. They were warm and soft and tasted like salt from the sea. He sucked Dom’s lip as he pulled away.
“Have a good shower.”
Dom wished men would stop kissing him and leaving him breathless. It was cruel. You’re going to get more than that in a few minutes. You might have more than you can handle. Dom’s breath caught in his chest at this idea and he hurried into the shower.
~*~
The water warmed him and he stood under it for uncounted minutes, lost in thought. He thought about Robb’s chest, the well-sculpted muscles there. He thought about being kissed and groped. He ran a soapy hand over his erection and thought about Billy.
They had kissed again but only once. It was a drunken tangle. Dom remembers the cold night air and the heat of Billy’s breath on his face. He remembers the brick wall biting into his back as Billy pressed against him and the tortured look on Billy’s face when he pulled away.
“Why? Bill, don’t walk away from me. Why?”
“I don’t know. Just forget it, okay? If you, you know, love me at all just forget it ever happened.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“Just tuck it away somewhere then? Pretend.”
Billy did walk away then, and Dom cursed and headed for home. He closed the door behind him, leaned against it and jerked himself off. He rolled to rest his head on the cool surface of the door. He wasn’t tucking it away. He was wallowing in it. He would begin to obsess if he wasn’t careful. Tomorrow, he thought. Tomorrow he’d tuck all these thoughts away. Just then he needed to gasp and writhe into his own hand, come again with Billy’s face behind his closed eyelids, Billy’s name spitting from Dom’s mouth onto the insensible door panels.
~*~
The water had grown cold and Dom took the shower head off its bracket and aimed it at his crotch. He needed to cool his blood if he didn’t want to embarrass himself. He turned off the tap and stood before the foggy mirror, letting the water drip off his nose. What now?
He wondered what he should wear. It was ridiculous. All of his clothes except his swim shorts were still in the boot of his car. Should he lounge naked on the bed? Dom blushed and all the benefit of the cool water applied to his crotch evaporated. Fuck, he was horny.
He opened the door to the bedroom slowly, and found it empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and decided to keep his towel wrapped around his middle.
Robb didn’t keep him waiting long. Dom smiled when he saw him. Robb had his own towel still slung about his hips and Dom was glad he had chosen similar attire. Some of his nervousness escaped him and he laughed a little at nothing.
“What?”
“Oh, just…this…me.”
Just do something to me. Do it now before I run.
Robb walked slowly towards Dom and stood in front of him for a moment.
He’s a fucking giant. When did he get so tall?
Dom had to rise to the balls of his feet to be kissed. Only their lips touched, no hands, no pressing their bodies together.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Robb kissed him again, pulling Dom closer this time. The kiss was wet and slow.
“Let’s lie down.”
Dom sat on the edge of the bed. Robb straddled him and pressed kisses into Dom’s mouth until Dom lay back. Robb’s hands began to travel, sliding over Dom’s shoulders and belly. His fingers found a nipple and Dom gasped.
“Don’t you like it? Some people don’t.”
“I fucking love it.”
Robb smiled and held one of the nubs between his thumb and forefinger while he licked the other one. Dom forgot everything then. He forgot about being shy, and heterosexual. He didn’t care about anything except quelling the need in his body.
“Please.”
Robb pulled away. “Get up here. Lie properly. Put your head on the pillows.” He manhandled Dom, dragged him up the bed. Dom felt his towel’s tenuous grasp on his hips slip but it held.
“Oh Christ.” He spread his legs and pulled Robb down on top of him. The bare skin on their chests rubbed together and Dom could feel the hard swell of Robb’s prick against his thigh. “What are we going to do? I want to do everything. Can we?”
In response Robb opened the towel at Dom’s waist, exposing him, and then discarded his own. “Want me to suck you?”
“Please.”
Robb brought his hips down, letting his pelvis bump up against Dom’s. Dom’s knees bent up as their erections rubbed together. Sweet Jesus Christ. Dom blinked the sweat out of his eyes. Robb was trailing his tongue down the middle of Dom’s chest, rapidly descending his body. Dom let out a whine of pleasure and reached down to hold his own cock out to Robb. He watched Robb take it in his mouth and then Dom’s hand fell uselessly by his side and his eyes squeezed shut.
“Don’t, don’t do it so well. I can’t. I’ll come.”
Robb pulled away. “Later? Will you come like that for me later?”
Dom tried to catch his breath while Robb pet his belly to soothe him. Dom closed his eyes, squeezed his balls a little, and tried to think of other things for a moment.
“I’ll come down your throat. Oh fuck, what are you doing to me? I think I’m burning up.”
“You’re fine. Deep breaths.”
Robb lay beside him and kissed Dom until he could think again. “Can I try it? Tell me if it’s not any good.”
“It’ll be good.”
Dom rolled onto his belly and pushed Robb’s thighs open. He looked at Robb’s crotch, breathed in the scent of him and for one stomach-dropping moment he thought he wouldn’t be able to do it.
Pretend it’s Billy.
Dom wanted to scrub his brain. That wasn’t fair to anyone. It wasn’t fair, but it was honest, and Dom closed his eyes and traveled back to that night in New Zealand, a life time ago, a world away. He opened his mouth and licked.
It was musky and warm on his tongue and he immediately wanted more.
~*~
The foggy night pressed up against the windows of Billy’s snug house. The smell of dinner and washing-up soap hung in the air. Billy flicked the dish towel at Dom’s arse and collapsed onto the couch.
“Will you stay here forever and cook for me?”
Dom flopped down next to him.
“If you fix the climate I might be convinced to.”
“It’s gloomy huh?”
Dom looked at Billy’s sunny face. “Ah, it’s not so bad.”
That sat in companionable silence for a moment. Billy closed his eyes and thought about rack of lamb and Dom explored a patch of dry skin on his own elbow.
“Why aren’t you hugging me, Bill? That’s what I hired you for.”
Billy cracked open one eye and smirked at Dom. “I can’t move. Come here if you want hugs.”
Dom launched himself across the cushions.
“Gently, I just ate. I’ll vomit on you.”
“Gross, Bill,” Dom chided, but he calmed himself and let Billy hug him before lying down with his head in Billy’s lap, looking up at his face. “I can see up your nose.”
“Anything interesting up there?”
“No,” Dom sighed. He had been looking for a way to bring up Robb all weekend. There were no natural openings in their conversation. Perhaps if he babbled long enough about looking into Billy’s orifices something might come up, but Dom doubted it.
“Do you mind it when people look at your orifices?” Mentally, Dom kicked himself. Hard.
“I usually enjoy it, except when the doctor sticks that thing down my throat. It makes me want to gag, Dom.”
“That’s nice,” Dom said. He was distracted and suddenly his pulse was racing. “I slept with Robb.”
“Pardon?”
“Nothing.”
“You can’t say nothing at this juncture, Dom. It’s not allowed.”
“Well, I’m for bed. You look wiped, Bill. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Dom knew Billy. He knew him very well, so he wasn’t surprised to find himself flipped off the couch and pinned to the floor with Billy’s knees digging into his ribs.
“Hi.”
“Oh, hey there, Bills.”
“Spill. You’ve been dying to spill for the past three days so start talking.”
“Alright. Can I do it without your arse in my gut though? Makes it kind of hard to breathe.”
Billy rolled off of him and lay on the carpet next to Dom, staring at the ceiling.
“Do you think things might have been different if we hadn’t stopped that night?”
Billy didn’t have to ask which night Dom was referring to. He wanted to be annoyed that Dom was bringing it up. Dom had promised not to, but Billy wasn’t annoyed. He felt something like a lightening in his body, a tension easing in his rib cage.
“Things might have been different if I took a left instead of right at the end of the road this morning. Do you want things to be different?”
“Sometimes.” Dom kept his eyes on the whirls of plaster on the ceiling. It was easier than looking at Billy’s face. “Sorry, Bill.”
“Don’t be sorry. Tell me about Robb.”
Dom shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I just wanted to. Just wanted to, you know, try it. I’d been thinking about it for so long and I thought, maybe, it would go away if I just…”
“Did it? Did it make those thoughts go away?”
“Of course it didn’t. I’m a fucking lunatic for thinking it would.”
Dom was sweaty. It wasn’t embarrassment that was making him sweat; it was lust. He wanted so badly for Billy to ravage him, just roll over and shag him right into the carpet. It wasn’t going to happen. Dom knew that, and it left him frustrated.
“You did this to me,” he spat.
“What?”
“You shouldn’t have kissed me. I was fine until I met you.”
“Shut up, Dom.”
Dom bit his tongue and breathed hard through his nose. “Sorry, Bill,” he said after a few moments. “You didn’t deserve that. I…it’s not your problem.”
“For fuck’s sake, will you fuck off?” The words were harsh but Billy just sounded defeated. “I was fine until I met you. I’m so tired, Dom. I’m tired of trying to forget you.”
Dom turned his head to look at Billy. “Bill?”
Billy’s face was red and his eyes were closed tight. “I said fuck off.”
Dom reached out to lay his hand on Billy’s shoulder. His fingers trembled and he had an absurd fear that Billy might bite, but when Dom touched him Billy just let out a shuddering breath that was close to a sob. He rolled and crushed his lips to Dom’s.
“Oh. Oh fuck. I told you. I told you to fuck off,” Billy panted between kisses. He pushed Dom onto his back and climbed atop him, pulling Dom’s arms over his head and holding them there with one hand. “You wouldn’t stop. You never know when to stop. Now look at me.” A bead of sweat fell from Billy’s forehead into Dom’s hair.
Billy wasn’t even kissing properly. He was just trailing his tongue all over Dom’s face and neck and panting nonsense. It was making Dom wild and he struggled in Billy’s hold. He needed to kiss Billy deeply. He needed Billy’s tongue down his throat.
“Fuck, what did he do to you? Tell me what he did. Did you give it up for him? Huh? Did you? Did you bend over for him?”
Dom blushed hotly and nodded.
“Oh fuck, Dom. That’s…the thought of it…you like that. So fucking hot, Dommie.” Billy rose up, resting all his weight on his free hand and humped himself against Dom’s thigh.
“Kiss me!” Dom nearly shrieked. “Calm down a little. I want a kiss. All the rest too, but I want a fucking kiss, your tongue stopping my breath.”
Billy forced himself to stop and breathe. “I feel like I’m going to tear you apart. I want you so much.”
“Why’d you stop it, Bill? Why didn’t we do this before?”
“You know, Dom. I was fucking pissing-my-pants terrified. Didn’t want to admit it, not even to myself.”
“Admit what?” Dom asked. He knew, but he wanted to hear it.
Billy’s face cleared and he looked more like himself instead of some lust-crazed beast. “I always knew I loved you. I’ve told you so often enough, but I didn’t want to admit I loved you like this. Also, the wanting to get into your pants bit. I didn’t want to admit to that.” He rested his forehead against Dom’s. “I just needed to pretend for a little while. I’m sorry.”
“Piss off,” Dom said, but he trailed his fingers gently down Billy’s cheek and it sounded more like I love you.
Billy rubbed his forehead back and forth against Dom’s. He clenched the fabric of Dom’s shirt in his hands. “I’m really afraid I might hurt you. I want to do everything to you. I’ve waited so long, Dom. I’m scared I’ll be too rough with you.”
“I’ll tell you if you are. I don’t mind a little roughness now and then.”
Billy let out a deep animal grunt and Dom’s body bowed off the floor. Billy’s kiss was all teeth and stubble scraping Dom’s face. Dom kicked out with his feet as he struggled for breath. Billy was pulling at his shirt like he expected to rip it off Dom’s body and the fabric stretching under Dom’s arms hurt him.
“Just take it off, Bill!”
“Sorry.” Billy pulled away to lift Dom’s shirt over his head. He tossed it aside and fell to licking and nipping at Dom’s chest. He ran his nose through the trail of wet salvia, pressed his cheek into it. He wanted to feel Dom with every inch of his body. Billy was drenched with sweat. He sucked at Dom’s nipples in a frenzy of desire. Dom was kissing his hand and Billy stopped and looked up at Dom’s face when Dom took two of Billy’s fingers in his mouth and sucked gently on them.
“Ah! You!” Billy paused to wipe the drool off his chin. “I want that.”
“You should be naked. I want to look at you.”
“Undress me?”
Dom’s face was still and serious as he unfastened the buttons on Billy’s shirt and trousers. He left Billy like that, all unbuttoned, while he trailed his fingers down the length of Billy’s hairy chest and belly. He rubbed the elastic band of Billy’s pants.
“You want to go further, Bill? Huh? You want my hand in there?”
“Dom,” Billy pleaded.
Dom frowned thoughtfully and put his hand under Billy’s shirt, slid it around until it rested in the middle of Billy’s back. He reached up and kissed Billy’s neck and then trailed his tongue down Billy’s torso, following the path his fingers had traveled before.
“What is it, Bill? You want your prick sucked? Want me to suck your prick? I’ll let you suck mine. I’ll let you do anything you want.”
“Do it. Take my clothes off.”
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” Dom said.
The hallway was dark and Billy held onto his trousers with one hand. It was silly but he wanted Dom to be the one to take them off of him. At the door to the bedroom Dom stopped, pressed Billy against the wall, and then pressed the length of their bodies together.
“Feel that?” Dom asked, thrusting his erection against Billy’s belly.
“Yeah, I feel it.”
“You’ll kiss it soon? Taste it?”
“What’s it like? Doing that?”
Dom stopped to think. He nibbled on Billy’s ear. “It’s not like anything. It’s its own thing. You’ll try it? Let me know what you think?”
“I forgot how to think.”
“Don’t try to, just feel me,” Dom latched his mouth onto Billy’s neck and wrapped his arms around him, lifting him from the floor. He kicked open the door to the bedroom and staggered to the bed.
Billy landed on his back. Dom pulled at Billy’s clothes until he was bare and then pushed at him until he was sitting with his back against the headboard. He reached over and turned on the light.
“Ow,” Billy said, squinting, “I’m not use to it, Dom.”
Dom spread Billy’s legs and sat in the place between them. Billy stopped squinting.
“You’re staring.”
“Yes.”
Billy shifted. “You should get naked too.”
“In a minute. I want to fucking look at you. Play with your cock, Bill.”
“Dom, no.”
“Do it, Bill. Come on, please. I’ve always wanted to watch you play with your cock.”
Billy blushed, but he reached down and began stroking himself.
“Did you toss yourself off that night, after I left?”
“Fuck! So many times, Dom. I was up half the night thinking of you. Touch me?”
Dom bent over and sucked on the inside of Billy’s thigh. He brushed his nose against Billy’s balls.
“The smell of you, Bill, it’s so strong down here. Smells like sex.” Dom ran his hand firmly along the crease where Billy’s thigh met his body.
“Be faster!” Billy said in frustration. “Come on. Take it.” He held out his cock and gently slapped Dom’s ear with it.
Dom took it. Billy’s hands tortured the pillows underneath him as he tried to push his body off the bed and further into Dom’s mouth. He forced himself to open his eyes and look down at Dom’s head buried in his crotch.
“Tilt your head a little. I can’t see. I want to see your lips around my cock.” Dom moved around a little to get a better angle. Billy put his hands in Dom’s hair and held his head in place while he thrust. “I can’t! Stop. I’m gonna.”
“It’s okay. Come like this.”
Billy shook his head. “I want to get my cock in your arse. I want to.”
“You will. Just come like this for me. We have all night. You can fuck me whenever you want to. I’m yours.”
Dom took him in again and Billy’s eyes fell shut. In the darkness behind his closed lids played the image of Dom, wet with sweat, bent over on the bed and begging for it. Billy fisted his fingers into Dom’s hair and came hard.
After a moment his senses returned and he could feel the heavy weight of Dom’s head on his thigh. “Your turn now,” Billy rasped.
“Take your time. I like this, just this, looking at the mess I’ve made of you.”
“Do I look a fright?”
“No,” Dom said, “You’re lovely. I could sleep like this, with the taste of you in my mouth, the smell and feel of you all around me.”
“Don’t sleep. Take your trousers off.”
Dom shook his head. “Undress me. Go slow. Gently.”
“You wanted me to come. You were afraid I’d hurt you.”
Dom smiled. “It’s just that I’m new to this too. I didn’t want you to hurt me. You’d feel too bad if you did.”
“Dom,” Billy sighed. “I love you, you know.”
“I know. Make love to me?”
Billy’s eyes grew dark and somber. He reached over and turned off the light, then moved down the bed to lie next to Dom. They kissed for a long time before they did anything else.
d/b
NC-17
Disclaimer: This is all made up.
Thanks to the many beta readers:
aire_blair waqaychay and babybrothalova and everyone's favorite wank-o-meter cindyjade. All mistakes are mine, not theirs. Dom shivered in the breeze and wished he hadn’t left his change of clothes in the car. His towel was damp around his shoulders. He thought about burying his body in the sand, but then he’d have to go back in the water to rinse himself off before driving home. Common sense suggested that he wait in car, which was sure to be warmer, but he stayed where he was. Robb would be done surfing any minute. He’d come dripping out of the sea, and Dom wanted to be there for it, for the sight of him, all wet, and for the moment when he pulled at the zipper on his wet suit and slipped his arms out of it.
Dom had already discarded his own wet suit. It lay on the sand like the abandoned hide of some sea creature. He’d only shorts to put on and they were full of sand. Dom scratched at himself through the damp cotton and waited.
Robb was a long time in the waves, and Dom’s teeth were chattering freely when Robb finally strolled up the beach. He pulled at his zipper. Dom tried not to stare. He thought he remembered to close his mouth and not just let it hang agape, but he wasn’t sure.
Robb grabbed his own towel from the sand and sat down next to Dom.
“You’re frozen.”
“I’m okay.”
Robb just nodded and looked out at the gray water for a moment.
“You should have just told me.”
“You were out there,” Dom said gesturing at the Pacific.
“No, I mean, I saw your little television interview last night.”
“Oh.” Dom’s heart beat fast in his rib cage and a warm blush rose on his cheeks. “You have to say things on those shows. You have to say something. You can’t just sit there.”
“So it’s not true then?”
“Pardon?”
“You’re not curious?”
“I have water in my ears. You’ll have to excuse me.”
“You can hear me just fine, Dom.”
“So, what? Is hearing a crime now?”
Robb sighed with impatience and put his face next to Dom’s ear. “Do you, or do you not, want to get in my pants?”
“Well you seem to be the expert on that subject. You heard about it on TV after all and everyone knows that everything you see on…”
“So you do.”
Dom sighed, “It’s not that I want to per se. It’s just something that I think about from time to time.”
“So you don’t want to.”
“Does it matter? This is a ridiculous conversation. I’m not going to go falling in love and send you roses and all that rubbish. Sometimes I just have thoughts in my head. That’s all.”
“I’m not worried about that, Dom. But I wish you had told me. I wouldn’t mind.”
“Wouldn’t mind what?”
“Teaching you a few things.”
“What? You’re….what now?”
“I don’t do it often. The way I see it, men are like treats. I don’t have them too often but…I think you would make a very decadent, very exotic, treat.”
“Exotic? I’m from Manchester.”
“It’s not where you’re from, you monkey. It’s you. When I think of you in my bed…”
Dom shivered, not from the cold. Robb rubbed his arm.
“You’re freezing. Let’s go.”
“Go? Are we…?”
“If you want to, then yes, we are.”
~*~
Dom had always considered himself to be a heterosexual sort of fellow. He had never ever, wanted to put his hands in any man’s pants until he met Billy.
God damn, Billy.
Billy was as straight as the day was long. That didn’t stop him from being a cuddly sort though. Billy and Dom cuddled and kissed their way through the fellowship. They bunked together when quarters were crowded. They got their clothes all mixed up when they did laundry together one day, and didn’t bother to un-mix them. Dom used Billy’s lap as a pillow when it was late at night and they were watching TV. Billy ran his fingers through Dom’s hair.
Dom hugged Billy around his middle, crushed him.
“I can’t breathe.”
“I make you breathless?”
“You make me pant.”
“Ah, Bill,” Dom tried to sit up and put a kiss on Billy’s cheek but his knees wobbled on the couch cushions and his lips landed on Billy’s neck.
“I missed. So sorry.”
“It’s okay. Try again.”
Dom got it right that time, and Billy’s eyes crinkled up with a tired smile. Dom didn’t even think about it. It was just something that happened. He kissed Billy’s smiling lips and then smiled himself. He kissed him again.
Gradually, Billy sank back into the couch cushions and, just as gradually, Dom settled his weight on top of him. It was a tight squeeze on the narrow seat of the couch and Dom ached to throw his leg over his friend and straddle him, but he didn’t. He just let his chest rest heavily against Billy’s, let Billy’s hip bone press hard against his belly. His hands fluttered on Billy’s shoulders. He wanted to grab Billy’s face and hold him still so he could kiss him better. He was afraid to make any sudden movements though. He didn’t want Billy to startle. He didn’t want Billy to stop.
Dom remembers that the kisses became wet and longer. Billy’s bottom lip was in his mouth and he felt Billy’s tongue nudge his own. He recoiled for the briefest of seconds, as if some warning signal had gone off in his brain, but it was quickly silenced and ignored. He opened his mouth to Billy. They panted and tangled their tongues. Dom thought if they went on much longer their souls would become tangled up just like their laundry and neither of them would remember where he left off and the other began. I want this. God, I want this.
It was Billy who stopped it. He turned his head and pushed at Dom’s shoulder. Dom flushed and tried to scramble away but Billy held him tight, held Dom’s head to his heaving chest.
“Shush, don’t. It’s alright. We just shouldn’t.”
“I know.”
“You should go in a minute.”
“Okay.”
Billy held him for a moment longer then let him up and stood himself. He turned his back to Dom but Dom caught a glimpse of it anyway, the bulge in Billy’s trousers.
“You okay to drive?”
“It was just a kiss, Bill.” An intoxicating kiss, but still, he could drive.
“You’ll show yourself out?”
“Sure.”
Despite his words, Dom had sat for a long time in the drive, willing his hands to stop shaking.
~*~
Dom was still shivering and clutching his towel when he stood in Robb’s bedroom.
“Relax, Dom.”
“Okay,” Dom said, but he didn’t.
“Listen, I don’t want to know how much sand you have in your shorts. Why don’t you take a shower first? Warm up. I’ll use the one downstairs.”
Dom was grateful for the break. He needed time to sort himself out, to stop acting like a fourteen-year-old. He smiled and turned to go but Robb caught his wrist.
“Give me something to think about, huh?”
Robb pressed his lips to Dom’s. They were warm and soft and tasted like salt from the sea. He sucked Dom’s lip as he pulled away.
“Have a good shower.”
Dom wished men would stop kissing him and leaving him breathless. It was cruel. You’re going to get more than that in a few minutes. You might have more than you can handle. Dom’s breath caught in his chest at this idea and he hurried into the shower.
~*~
The water warmed him and he stood under it for uncounted minutes, lost in thought. He thought about Robb’s chest, the well-sculpted muscles there. He thought about being kissed and groped. He ran a soapy hand over his erection and thought about Billy.
They had kissed again but only once. It was a drunken tangle. Dom remembers the cold night air and the heat of Billy’s breath on his face. He remembers the brick wall biting into his back as Billy pressed against him and the tortured look on Billy’s face when he pulled away.
“Why? Bill, don’t walk away from me. Why?”
“I don’t know. Just forget it, okay? If you, you know, love me at all just forget it ever happened.”
“I can’t. You know I can’t.”
“Just tuck it away somewhere then? Pretend.”
Billy did walk away then, and Dom cursed and headed for home. He closed the door behind him, leaned against it and jerked himself off. He rolled to rest his head on the cool surface of the door. He wasn’t tucking it away. He was wallowing in it. He would begin to obsess if he wasn’t careful. Tomorrow, he thought. Tomorrow he’d tuck all these thoughts away. Just then he needed to gasp and writhe into his own hand, come again with Billy’s face behind his closed eyelids, Billy’s name spitting from Dom’s mouth onto the insensible door panels.
~*~
The water had grown cold and Dom took the shower head off its bracket and aimed it at his crotch. He needed to cool his blood if he didn’t want to embarrass himself. He turned off the tap and stood before the foggy mirror, letting the water drip off his nose. What now?
He wondered what he should wear. It was ridiculous. All of his clothes except his swim shorts were still in the boot of his car. Should he lounge naked on the bed? Dom blushed and all the benefit of the cool water applied to his crotch evaporated. Fuck, he was horny.
He opened the door to the bedroom slowly, and found it empty. He breathed a sigh of relief and decided to keep his towel wrapped around his middle.
Robb didn’t keep him waiting long. Dom smiled when he saw him. Robb had his own towel still slung about his hips and Dom was glad he had chosen similar attire. Some of his nervousness escaped him and he laughed a little at nothing.
“What?”
“Oh, just…this…me.”
Just do something to me. Do it now before I run.
Robb walked slowly towards Dom and stood in front of him for a moment.
He’s a fucking giant. When did he get so tall?
Dom had to rise to the balls of his feet to be kissed. Only their lips touched, no hands, no pressing their bodies together.
“Okay?”
“Yeah.”
Robb kissed him again, pulling Dom closer this time. The kiss was wet and slow.
“Let’s lie down.”
Dom sat on the edge of the bed. Robb straddled him and pressed kisses into Dom’s mouth until Dom lay back. Robb’s hands began to travel, sliding over Dom’s shoulders and belly. His fingers found a nipple and Dom gasped.
“Don’t you like it? Some people don’t.”
“I fucking love it.”
Robb smiled and held one of the nubs between his thumb and forefinger while he licked the other one. Dom forgot everything then. He forgot about being shy, and heterosexual. He didn’t care about anything except quelling the need in his body.
“Please.”
Robb pulled away. “Get up here. Lie properly. Put your head on the pillows.” He manhandled Dom, dragged him up the bed. Dom felt his towel’s tenuous grasp on his hips slip but it held.
“Oh Christ.” He spread his legs and pulled Robb down on top of him. The bare skin on their chests rubbed together and Dom could feel the hard swell of Robb’s prick against his thigh. “What are we going to do? I want to do everything. Can we?”
In response Robb opened the towel at Dom’s waist, exposing him, and then discarded his own. “Want me to suck you?”
“Please.”
Robb brought his hips down, letting his pelvis bump up against Dom’s. Dom’s knees bent up as their erections rubbed together. Sweet Jesus Christ. Dom blinked the sweat out of his eyes. Robb was trailing his tongue down the middle of Dom’s chest, rapidly descending his body. Dom let out a whine of pleasure and reached down to hold his own cock out to Robb. He watched Robb take it in his mouth and then Dom’s hand fell uselessly by his side and his eyes squeezed shut.
“Don’t, don’t do it so well. I can’t. I’ll come.”
Robb pulled away. “Later? Will you come like that for me later?”
Dom tried to catch his breath while Robb pet his belly to soothe him. Dom closed his eyes, squeezed his balls a little, and tried to think of other things for a moment.
“I’ll come down your throat. Oh fuck, what are you doing to me? I think I’m burning up.”
“You’re fine. Deep breaths.”
Robb lay beside him and kissed Dom until he could think again. “Can I try it? Tell me if it’s not any good.”
“It’ll be good.”
Dom rolled onto his belly and pushed Robb’s thighs open. He looked at Robb’s crotch, breathed in the scent of him and for one stomach-dropping moment he thought he wouldn’t be able to do it.
Pretend it’s Billy.
Dom wanted to scrub his brain. That wasn’t fair to anyone. It wasn’t fair, but it was honest, and Dom closed his eyes and traveled back to that night in New Zealand, a life time ago, a world away. He opened his mouth and licked.
It was musky and warm on his tongue and he immediately wanted more.
~*~
The foggy night pressed up against the windows of Billy’s snug house. The smell of dinner and washing-up soap hung in the air. Billy flicked the dish towel at Dom’s arse and collapsed onto the couch.
“Will you stay here forever and cook for me?”
Dom flopped down next to him.
“If you fix the climate I might be convinced to.”
“It’s gloomy huh?”
Dom looked at Billy’s sunny face. “Ah, it’s not so bad.”
That sat in companionable silence for a moment. Billy closed his eyes and thought about rack of lamb and Dom explored a patch of dry skin on his own elbow.
“Why aren’t you hugging me, Bill? That’s what I hired you for.”
Billy cracked open one eye and smirked at Dom. “I can’t move. Come here if you want hugs.”
Dom launched himself across the cushions.
“Gently, I just ate. I’ll vomit on you.”
“Gross, Bill,” Dom chided, but he calmed himself and let Billy hug him before lying down with his head in Billy’s lap, looking up at his face. “I can see up your nose.”
“Anything interesting up there?”
“No,” Dom sighed. He had been looking for a way to bring up Robb all weekend. There were no natural openings in their conversation. Perhaps if he babbled long enough about looking into Billy’s orifices something might come up, but Dom doubted it.
“Do you mind it when people look at your orifices?” Mentally, Dom kicked himself. Hard.
“I usually enjoy it, except when the doctor sticks that thing down my throat. It makes me want to gag, Dom.”
“That’s nice,” Dom said. He was distracted and suddenly his pulse was racing. “I slept with Robb.”
“Pardon?”
“Nothing.”
“You can’t say nothing at this juncture, Dom. It’s not allowed.”
“Well, I’m for bed. You look wiped, Bill. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Dom knew Billy. He knew him very well, so he wasn’t surprised to find himself flipped off the couch and pinned to the floor with Billy’s knees digging into his ribs.
“Hi.”
“Oh, hey there, Bills.”
“Spill. You’ve been dying to spill for the past three days so start talking.”
“Alright. Can I do it without your arse in my gut though? Makes it kind of hard to breathe.”
Billy rolled off of him and lay on the carpet next to Dom, staring at the ceiling.
“Do you think things might have been different if we hadn’t stopped that night?”
Billy didn’t have to ask which night Dom was referring to. He wanted to be annoyed that Dom was bringing it up. Dom had promised not to, but Billy wasn’t annoyed. He felt something like a lightening in his body, a tension easing in his rib cage.
“Things might have been different if I took a left instead of right at the end of the road this morning. Do you want things to be different?”
“Sometimes.” Dom kept his eyes on the whirls of plaster on the ceiling. It was easier than looking at Billy’s face. “Sorry, Bill.”
“Don’t be sorry. Tell me about Robb.”
Dom shrugged his shoulders. “I don’t know. I just wanted to. Just wanted to, you know, try it. I’d been thinking about it for so long and I thought, maybe, it would go away if I just…”
“Did it? Did it make those thoughts go away?”
“Of course it didn’t. I’m a fucking lunatic for thinking it would.”
Dom was sweaty. It wasn’t embarrassment that was making him sweat; it was lust. He wanted so badly for Billy to ravage him, just roll over and shag him right into the carpet. It wasn’t going to happen. Dom knew that, and it left him frustrated.
“You did this to me,” he spat.
“What?”
“You shouldn’t have kissed me. I was fine until I met you.”
“Shut up, Dom.”
Dom bit his tongue and breathed hard through his nose. “Sorry, Bill,” he said after a few moments. “You didn’t deserve that. I…it’s not your problem.”
“For fuck’s sake, will you fuck off?” The words were harsh but Billy just sounded defeated. “I was fine until I met you. I’m so tired, Dom. I’m tired of trying to forget you.”
Dom turned his head to look at Billy. “Bill?”
Billy’s face was red and his eyes were closed tight. “I said fuck off.”
Dom reached out to lay his hand on Billy’s shoulder. His fingers trembled and he had an absurd fear that Billy might bite, but when Dom touched him Billy just let out a shuddering breath that was close to a sob. He rolled and crushed his lips to Dom’s.
“Oh. Oh fuck. I told you. I told you to fuck off,” Billy panted between kisses. He pushed Dom onto his back and climbed atop him, pulling Dom’s arms over his head and holding them there with one hand. “You wouldn’t stop. You never know when to stop. Now look at me.” A bead of sweat fell from Billy’s forehead into Dom’s hair.
Billy wasn’t even kissing properly. He was just trailing his tongue all over Dom’s face and neck and panting nonsense. It was making Dom wild and he struggled in Billy’s hold. He needed to kiss Billy deeply. He needed Billy’s tongue down his throat.
“Fuck, what did he do to you? Tell me what he did. Did you give it up for him? Huh? Did you? Did you bend over for him?”
Dom blushed hotly and nodded.
“Oh fuck, Dom. That’s…the thought of it…you like that. So fucking hot, Dommie.” Billy rose up, resting all his weight on his free hand and humped himself against Dom’s thigh.
“Kiss me!” Dom nearly shrieked. “Calm down a little. I want a kiss. All the rest too, but I want a fucking kiss, your tongue stopping my breath.”
Billy forced himself to stop and breathe. “I feel like I’m going to tear you apart. I want you so much.”
“Why’d you stop it, Bill? Why didn’t we do this before?”
“You know, Dom. I was fucking pissing-my-pants terrified. Didn’t want to admit it, not even to myself.”
“Admit what?” Dom asked. He knew, but he wanted to hear it.
Billy’s face cleared and he looked more like himself instead of some lust-crazed beast. “I always knew I loved you. I’ve told you so often enough, but I didn’t want to admit I loved you like this. Also, the wanting to get into your pants bit. I didn’t want to admit to that.” He rested his forehead against Dom’s. “I just needed to pretend for a little while. I’m sorry.”
“Piss off,” Dom said, but he trailed his fingers gently down Billy’s cheek and it sounded more like I love you.
Billy rubbed his forehead back and forth against Dom’s. He clenched the fabric of Dom’s shirt in his hands. “I’m really afraid I might hurt you. I want to do everything to you. I’ve waited so long, Dom. I’m scared I’ll be too rough with you.”
“I’ll tell you if you are. I don’t mind a little roughness now and then.”
Billy let out a deep animal grunt and Dom’s body bowed off the floor. Billy’s kiss was all teeth and stubble scraping Dom’s face. Dom kicked out with his feet as he struggled for breath. Billy was pulling at his shirt like he expected to rip it off Dom’s body and the fabric stretching under Dom’s arms hurt him.
“Just take it off, Bill!”
“Sorry.” Billy pulled away to lift Dom’s shirt over his head. He tossed it aside and fell to licking and nipping at Dom’s chest. He ran his nose through the trail of wet salvia, pressed his cheek into it. He wanted to feel Dom with every inch of his body. Billy was drenched with sweat. He sucked at Dom’s nipples in a frenzy of desire. Dom was kissing his hand and Billy stopped and looked up at Dom’s face when Dom took two of Billy’s fingers in his mouth and sucked gently on them.
“Ah! You!” Billy paused to wipe the drool off his chin. “I want that.”
“You should be naked. I want to look at you.”
“Undress me?”
Dom’s face was still and serious as he unfastened the buttons on Billy’s shirt and trousers. He left Billy like that, all unbuttoned, while he trailed his fingers down the length of Billy’s hairy chest and belly. He rubbed the elastic band of Billy’s pants.
“You want to go further, Bill? Huh? You want my hand in there?”
“Dom,” Billy pleaded.
Dom frowned thoughtfully and put his hand under Billy’s shirt, slid it around until it rested in the middle of Billy’s back. He reached up and kissed Billy’s neck and then trailed his tongue down Billy’s torso, following the path his fingers had traveled before.
“What is it, Bill? You want your prick sucked? Want me to suck your prick? I’ll let you suck mine. I’ll let you do anything you want.”
“Do it. Take my clothes off.”
“Let’s go to the bedroom,” Dom said.
The hallway was dark and Billy held onto his trousers with one hand. It was silly but he wanted Dom to be the one to take them off of him. At the door to the bedroom Dom stopped, pressed Billy against the wall, and then pressed the length of their bodies together.
“Feel that?” Dom asked, thrusting his erection against Billy’s belly.
“Yeah, I feel it.”
“You’ll kiss it soon? Taste it?”
“What’s it like? Doing that?”
Dom stopped to think. He nibbled on Billy’s ear. “It’s not like anything. It’s its own thing. You’ll try it? Let me know what you think?”
“I forgot how to think.”
“Don’t try to, just feel me,” Dom latched his mouth onto Billy’s neck and wrapped his arms around him, lifting him from the floor. He kicked open the door to the bedroom and staggered to the bed.
Billy landed on his back. Dom pulled at Billy’s clothes until he was bare and then pushed at him until he was sitting with his back against the headboard. He reached over and turned on the light.
“Ow,” Billy said, squinting, “I’m not use to it, Dom.”
Dom spread Billy’s legs and sat in the place between them. Billy stopped squinting.
“You’re staring.”
“Yes.”
Billy shifted. “You should get naked too.”
“In a minute. I want to fucking look at you. Play with your cock, Bill.”
“Dom, no.”
“Do it, Bill. Come on, please. I’ve always wanted to watch you play with your cock.”
Billy blushed, but he reached down and began stroking himself.
“Did you toss yourself off that night, after I left?”
“Fuck! So many times, Dom. I was up half the night thinking of you. Touch me?”
Dom bent over and sucked on the inside of Billy’s thigh. He brushed his nose against Billy’s balls.
“The smell of you, Bill, it’s so strong down here. Smells like sex.” Dom ran his hand firmly along the crease where Billy’s thigh met his body.
“Be faster!” Billy said in frustration. “Come on. Take it.” He held out his cock and gently slapped Dom’s ear with it.
Dom took it. Billy’s hands tortured the pillows underneath him as he tried to push his body off the bed and further into Dom’s mouth. He forced himself to open his eyes and look down at Dom’s head buried in his crotch.
“Tilt your head a little. I can’t see. I want to see your lips around my cock.” Dom moved around a little to get a better angle. Billy put his hands in Dom’s hair and held his head in place while he thrust. “I can’t! Stop. I’m gonna.”
“It’s okay. Come like this.”
Billy shook his head. “I want to get my cock in your arse. I want to.”
“You will. Just come like this for me. We have all night. You can fuck me whenever you want to. I’m yours.”
Dom took him in again and Billy’s eyes fell shut. In the darkness behind his closed lids played the image of Dom, wet with sweat, bent over on the bed and begging for it. Billy fisted his fingers into Dom’s hair and came hard.
After a moment his senses returned and he could feel the heavy weight of Dom’s head on his thigh. “Your turn now,” Billy rasped.
“Take your time. I like this, just this, looking at the mess I’ve made of you.”
“Do I look a fright?”
“No,” Dom said, “You’re lovely. I could sleep like this, with the taste of you in my mouth, the smell and feel of you all around me.”
“Don’t sleep. Take your trousers off.”
Dom shook his head. “Undress me. Go slow. Gently.”
“You wanted me to come. You were afraid I’d hurt you.”
Dom smiled. “It’s just that I’m new to this too. I didn’t want you to hurt me. You’d feel too bad if you did.”
“Dom,” Billy sighed. “I love you, you know.”
“I know. Make love to me?”
Billy’s eyes grew dark and somber. He reached over and turned off the light, then moved down the bed to lie next to Dom. They kissed for a long time before they did anything else.
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Thank you so much for sharing this!
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Dom thought if they went on much longer their souls would become tangled up just like their laundry and neither of them would remember where he left off and the other began
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