monaboyd | (no subject)

Title: This Is How It Happens
Pairing: Monaboyd
Rating: PG
Summary: the story of a relationship, told in 11 drabbles

When they first meet, Billy doesn't think of Dom as young. He registers his youth, of course, just like he registers his excited smile and his big hands and his energy, but doesn't worry about it. He's always subscribed to the philosophy that judging people by their age instead of by their experience and capabilities is offensive at best, discrimination at worst.

He is right not to worry. Dom is a joy to work with, beautiful and funny and the best mate Billy could ever hope for. He doesn't even really notice how young Dom is- not until months later.

......

Billy has never made any rule for himself about dating coworkers. In his experience, not dating (or not fucking, whichever the case may be) a coworker doesn't really accomplish much if you both know that work is the only thing keeping you apart. A fight in that situation interferes with acting almost as much, and half the time stopping yourself generates enough tension to mess things up anyway.

He imparts this wisdom to Dom, who lifts his eyebrows suggestively and says,

"Well, if it's going to cause trouble either way, why not enjoy yourself, right?"

Which is Billy's thought exactly.

......

Dom has a somewhat annoying habit of referring to himself as "the gorgeous bastard". It's not the habit that bothers Billy; it's the fact that he's taken to calling Dom that himself. And the fact that at least the first part of it is true. Dom is gorgeous, gorgeous and funny and wild and kind and coming to occupy an outrageous portion of Billy's thoughts, both waking and otherwise. He ignores the dreams until he starts to have them three and four and five nights in a row, until the day Dom is there every time he closes his eyes.

......

This is how it happens:

Billy is dozing, head tucked under Dom's chin, Merry's cloak around them both. They've been starting too early and running too late for what feels like years. He's sleepy and comfortable, with that twinge in his stomach that says move closer. It makes him bolder, though he doesn't actually stir. He asks,

"Will you come to dinner with me tonight?", then wonders if Dom will understand the question for what it is.

"My god, I haven't a thing to wear," murmurs Dom, but his hand finds Billy's and squeezes, and he blushes against Billy's cheek.

......

One thing Billy loves about Dom is his confidence. They both have it, of course, but in very different ways. Billy's is self possessed, quiet, and sure. Dom's confidence comes not from himself but from an innocent faith in the world, a faith that Billy lost years ago. Dom is old enough to know better, but it's easy to know what the world can do to you and not understand it until it happens. Billy doesn't look down on him for his trust. In fact, there are times-though rare, for Billy is content with his life- when he envies him.

......

Dinner is strange in that it's so normal. They talk and laugh and flirt a little over their food, which is exactly how they usually function. There's a tiny knot of tension at the pit of Billy's stomach but he doesn't acknowledge it except to wonder if Dom's feeling the same thing. The only sign that this night is different is that Dom kisses him goodnight. It's not really as quaint as it sounds, because it involves Billy being pressed against his own front door and rather a lot of Dom's tongue in his mouth.

Not that he minds, especially.

......

They go out again two nights later. When they get back to Billy's house (Dom's driving, because everyone knows Billy's car is a piece of shit) Billy pins Dom to the side of his car before they even make it up the front walk.

He realizes several minutes later that Dom is calling his name.

"Jesus, Billy, stop," he says, a little shakily. "We're outside!" True, Billy thinks, but remarkably hard to care about under the circumstances.

"Look," continues Dom, "You go make your call or whatever. I'm going home, and, well, you're welcome when you're finished. If you want."

......

Billy stands inside his own front doorway, trying to collect his thoughts. He can't quite focus on anything but the memory of Dom's shirt half unbuttoned, Dom's hands cupping his face and rubbing his weekend stubble the wrong way, sending shivers down his spine, his own hands on Dom's bare back, his fervently expressed opinion that next time they should just skip dinner. He already knows that he'll go. It's just that he wishes he could concentrate enough to think through the decision.

In the end, he gives up on returning his phone calls and searches for his keys instead.

......

About twenty minutes pass before Billy knocks, tense with nerves and anticipation, and Dom lets him in. He's wearing gray and blue checked pajama trousers and nothing else, and Billy's gaze catches on his tousled hair, his chest, his bare feet, his fingers twisting a ring around and around his left thumb. Billy will remember this forever; standing with one hand still on the doorknob and being struck for the first and only time in his life by just how young Dom is.

Dom says, "You're here," and smiles, wicked and happy, and the thought is gone from Billy's mind.

.......

Rings ends and drops them all back into the real world. Dom goes to California, and Billy watches from afar he takes his confidence in both hands and wields it like a sword. He watches as one day the obstacles are too large and Dom batters at them fruitlessly until his confidence shatters into sharp and useless pieces. There is nothing to do then but offer what protection he can, helpless and far away, while Dom recovers.

One day he receives a message that says Dom needs to be alone. After that he doesn't hear anything for a long time.

......

Over a year passes before the day Billy comes home and finds Dom sitting on his patio, laying to rest the doubt he didn't know he had. Dom's hair is short and its natural color again, as it was in New Zealand. In the days to come Billy will discover other changes. Dom's wilder edges are smoothed, like sea glass that has been weathered and still kept its shape. His confidence is reforged-duller now, but stronger- with a larger element of wisdom than of faith.

The first thing Billy does is unlock his door; the second is kiss Dom hello.

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Date: 2006-06-22 02:44 am (UTC)

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