monaboyd | FIC: Making Memories of Us (28/28)

Title: Making Memories of Us 28/28
Authors:

sassywitch
Pairing: Primarily Monaboyd, with a smattering of Ordaisy, Kargo, EmEli
Rating: NC-17 for graphic m/m and shock horror some het sex
Betas: The wonderful

surreality_fan Much ♥
Archiving:

all_sensation and

glasgowhobbit , any others please ask first
Feedback: Yes, please. We live for it.
Header Art: Our wonderful header was created by

loki_girl
Crossposted: to

monaboyd and

all_sensation
Disclaimer: No money was made from this, and this in no way is meant to imply anything about the sexual preferences or practices of anyone mentioned within this story. No matter how true they are.
Summary: Dom is injured, and Billy goes along with the hallucinations for his best friends sake; but is it really only for Dom?
WARNING: contains slash (men doing men), het, angst, and fluff. If any of this bothers you, please don't read. This chapter also contains a smattering of het smut.
A/N: Sorry for the delay it was unavoidable. Next chapter will be posted on Friday.
The song that spawned the fic: Can be found Here
Previous Chapters: Here
~*~*~*~*~*~
Billy climbed from the car as it stopped in front of his house and waited long enough to pay the cab driver, leaving the bags for Dom, he retreated up the path. Fingers trembling as he tried repeatedly to get the key into the lock, he eventually succeeded and burst into his musty smelling house.

Absently, as he past the foyer, he remembered that Margaret opened the house up once a week while he was away. Just so that he didn’t have to come back to a house that felt empty and lonely. No today it wasn’t it house that was empty and alone it was his heart.

As Dom entered, his eyes warily searching for his lover, Billy’s anger finally erupted.

“Why Dom?” he asked softly.

“Why what?” Dom dropped the suitcases and moved closer to Billy.

“Why didn’t you tell me you remembered?” he paused “How long?” he continued his voice rising with every word. “Fucking how long have you remembered?” His anger now given wings was reluctant to wind down until it was fully expended. “Did you know the first time we fucked Dommeh? Bet it’s been good fun for you hasn’t it, watching me make a complete fucking fool of myself. Get a good laugh did we? When were you planning on moving on?” Tears streamed down his face as he screamed at Dom. “Why Dom? Just tell me why…. I was your best friend why would you do this to me?”

All the blood rushed from Dom's head as his stomach dropped. Billy knew. He started to move towards the angered man, but stopped at the look on Billy's face. This wasn't how it was supposed to be. This wasn't how their first day of happily-ever-after was supposed to start.

"I can explain, Bills," he began, only to stop at Billy's laughter.

"You can explain? You can explain how you lied to me? Used me? Did you even lose your memory at all, Dom? Was this entire thing just a big, sick, twisted joke?"

"No!" Dom yelled. "I did lose my memory, but by the time I remembered, it didn't matter because we were together. I swear to you, Bills, that's the truth. I...I was just so happy that I had you in my arms, that I could tell you that I loved you, because I do Bills, I love you more than anything."

"Shut up!" Billy screamed, pushing Dom away as he moved closer to him. "Don't say that you love me, because you don't. You don't love me. This was only ever about sex wasn't it? I trusted you. And you lied to me. Everything you've ever said to me has been a lie, hasn't it? Hasn't it? Answer me, damn it!"

“What about you?” Dom yelled. “Dammit Boyd, I was injured, I couldn’t remember. You fell fairly readily into the boyfriend role didn’t you. I didn’t see you telling me the truth. I didn’t see you protecting me from you. No you just happily fell into the role. You’re as guilty as I am. How long have you wanted to fuck me Billy and been scared to. Gutless wonder. At least I had the balls to tell you that I loved you. I don’t give a fuck if you believe it or not. I loved you, with all my heart and soul. If you think this is a joke.” He stepped right up to Billy until he was almost nose to nose with him and spoke “If you think this was all some sort of plot to make Billy look like a fool, Guess what, we don’t need a plot, you do a damn fine job of it all on your own.” Dom pushed Billy, his hands flat on his shoulders as he turned to pace back towards the door, not wanting Billy to see the tears he couldn’t withhold..

Billy staggered back; his tears blurring his vision. "Fuck you, Dominic," he spat out harshly. "Fuck you and the horse you rode in on. You think I wanted to do this? No! You're the one who woke up and decided that I was your boyfriend. You! So if you want to talk about being gutless, I suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror. Was I picked because I was in the room at the time? If it had been Elijah with you, would you have said that he was your boyfriend? Would you have loved him too?" Billy felt his blood begin to boil, and he clenched and unclenched his fists. He wasn't one to get angry very easily, but was known to have a horrible temper when he eventually did anger. "I didn't want to do this; I wanted to tell you the truth from the beginning, but everyone was always saying 'No, Billy. He needs this.' 'No, Billy, it'll set back his recovery.' Ha! You recovered quite well didn't you? I had medical professionals advising me that it would be in your best interest if I went along with your delusions. What the hell was your excuse? Were you bored? Horny? Figured that you'd try out the sex, see how you like it? You're a liar! You never loved me. It was all a lie. Every last bit, and I hate you for it. Do you hear me, Dom? I hate you!"

Dom whirled on Billy his grey eyes tearfilled and devastated at Billy’s final words. “Don’t ever say that Bills.” He shook his head sadly, as his anger gathered strength again. “No matter what you think, I love you, I have always loved you, whether you believe it or not I don’t give a shit anymore. I have the balls to tell you and to stand by it. Not you, as soon as you think the going is going to get too rough you get all snarky and run away. Just like you’re doing now. So I lied about my memory, that’s the only lie I’ve ever told you and if you’re too pig headed to see that, then I guess it’s over then.” He pushed Billy again, “Fuck me Billy, open your eyes and see for fucks sake. Don’t throw this all away because I fucked up.” He pushed him again desperately trying to make him look up and see his face. Billy always knew, just so long as they could visually connect, he always knew exactly what was inside Dom. “Look at me Billy, you know you’ll see the truth you’re just too gutless to look.” He pushed angrily against his shoulder.

"Get your fucking hands off me!" Billy screamed, pushing Dom away from him. He stormed into the living room, trying desperately to remove the band on his finger. He twisted the ring roughly, unsure of why it wouldn't come off. "Come off, come off," he muttered angrily, tears streaming down his face.

"I don't believe anything that comes out of your mouth: it's all been lies. I trusted you, and you lied. You stood, in front of all our friends yesterday, and you lied to my face. In front of all of them you lied, and I will never, ever forgive you for that."

A sob wracked through Billy's body as he finally managed to remove the ring. "To think that I wanted to marry you. You. And to have a real legal ceremony. God, that would have been the biggest mistake of my entire life. And no, I won't look at you. I don't ever want to see you again. I want you out. I want you out of my house and out of my life,." Billy said throwing the ring in Dom's direction.

Dom’s hand lashed out to grab the ring as it would have soared past his head. His fingers tracing the inscription on it’s inside that Billy had never even read. His palm holding the warmth that still lingered from Billy’s skin. He walked closer, until he was standing behind the sofa that Billy stood in front of.

“Billy?” he spoke softly his voice tight and angry. “Look at me Billy. Look me in the eye and tell me that you don’t love me and you want me to leave and I will.” He murmured. “Dammit Billy stop being such a god damned arse. Look at me, look at me so I know you mean it.” He reached forward and angrily shoved Billy again.

The next minutes happened in a terrifying slow motion montage for both of them. Billy unprepared for the physical contact backed away, the backs of his legs catching on the low coffee table behind him. His eyes widened in shock, his arms grabbing for the hands Dom was extending to him but he missed them and toppled backwards the back of his head hitting the polished wooden floor with a thwack that resounded through the whole room. His back twisted at an odd angle as his legs hung across the coffee table.

Dom was on his knees at Billy’s side almost before Billy was still. “Billy, talk to me I’m sorry I didn’t mean, please Billy open your eyes. I’ll leave if you still want me to just open your eyes. You don’t have to look at me just open them.”

"Billy, Billy!" Dom sobbed, clapping his hand in front of the Scot's face, but Billy remained motionless. Dom pulled at his hair, standing up, and walking around the coffee table frantically.

He ran to his bag and pulled out his cellphone dialing the first number that came to mind.

"I've killed him," he sobbed as the telephone was answered. "I've killed him."

"Dominic?" Viggo asked, surprised that the couple would be calling him so soon after landing. His surprise quickly turned to worry at the sound of Dom's sobs. "Dominic, what's going on? Where's Billy? Dominic!"

"I killed him. I...he found out, and we were fighting, and he wouldn't look at me, and I pushed him, and he fell, and I think...oh god, what am I going to do?"

“Dominic.” Viggo spoke harshly “Dominic listen to me. Calm down. Where is he?”

“He’s on the floor. I didn’t mean to hurt him Vig, I just wanted him to look at me.”

“Dominic. Shut up.” Viggo hissed, his sharp tone immediately attracting the attention of the men that were seated near him. “Is he breathing?”

Dom wiped his face and knelt at Billy’s side, he pressed one hand to Billy’s chest feeling his lungs expanding under his hand and a strong heartbeat. “Yes. Sweet heavens yes.”

“Is he bleeding Dominic?” Viggo questioned less harshly.

“No.” Dom spoke “But he won’t wake up.” He murmured.

“Dominic find Billy’s landline and call an ambulance. Don’t hang up. Call an ambulance then talk to me again.”

“Okay.” Dom scurried off to find the land line and made the call, Viggo spoke to their friends filling them in until Dom returned.

“Now explain to me how this happened.”

“I don’t know Vig. I was asleep on the plane and a stewardess woke me and told me Billy was sick. Something was wrong with him Vig, I don’t know how he found out but he knew that I hadn’t told him. It was awful. We’ve said some horrible things. He threw his ring at me and I shoved him. He fell backwards over the coffee table. He’s hurt and it’s all my fault.”

“Dominic what did I tell you?”

“Not to hurt him.” He paused “You can come here and kill me Viggo just please help me fix him.”

“We’ll be there as soon as we can, I’ll see if I can’t find someone closer for you until we get there.”

“He’s so still Vig.”

“Dominic, for fucks sake don’t fall to pieces until one of us is there.” He demanded hearing the ambulance sirens through the phone. “Can you do that for me?”

Dom nodded his head, tears streaming down his face. "Oh God, Vigs. I can't lose him. Not until I make him believe that I love him. He thinks I lied about loving him, but I didn't Vig. I swear I didn't. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry."

Viggo listened to the young man over the telephone, his words becomng less coherent as his sobs increased. "Dom. Dom, I need you to listen to me. Dom are you still there?"

Dom clutched Billy's lifeless hand to his chest, willing him to wake up. "I...I'm here. He is going to wake up right, Vig?"

"Dom, I need you to pay attention now. You need to be strong for Billy. The ambulance should be at the house now, do you see anyone outside?"

Dom stood up and looked out the front windows. As Viggo suspected, two paramedics were rushing out of the ambulance and heading to the door. "They're here, Vig. What should I do?"

"Open the door, Dom, and let them in." Viggo waited as Dom ran to the door, and let the men in. "Dom. I need you to go with them and stay with Billy. I'm going to catch the first flight out. Leave me a message updating me of his condition. Can you do that, Dominic?"

"Yeah. Message," Dom said, standing helplessly to the side as Billy was lifted onto the stretcher.

“Dom, remember Billy needs you to be strong for him.” Viggo spoke “He needs you to be his strength.”

“I won’t let him down Viggo.” Dom repeated over and over like a mantra. “Please hurry Vig.”

“call me from the hospital Dom.” Viggo spoke as David held a piece of paper in front of his face with flight times on it. “We’ll be leaving here in about 4 hours, so call me before then okay?”

“Sure.” Dom spoke grabbing Billy’s house keys from the door and following the stretcher to the ambulance.

“I really didn’t mean to hurt him Vig, I just wanted him to look at me, to see that I wasn’t lying to him.”

“He’ll be fine Dom.” Viggo soothed “Go with him, don’t let him wake up alone. We’ll be there as soon as we can.”

Dom hung up, and climbed into the back of the ambulance with Billy. He clutched Billy's ring in his hand, answering the medical questions that were asked of him. The ride to the hospital seemed unending, though it probably only took a few minutes.

He followed Billy's stretcher into the hospital only to be stopped at the door to the emergency room by a nurse.

"Excuse me, sir, but you can't go in there," a stern-looking nurse told him.

"That's my future husband," he said showing her Billy's ring. "I've got to see him. I've got to be with him."

She patted him on the shoulder and led him into the waiting room. "I'll go and find out what I can about his condition," she told him, handing him a clipboard. "In the mean time, I need you to fill this information out for us."

"If he wakes up, can you tell him that I'm here, and that I love him, and that I'm sorry?" he asked her, tears forming again.

“You’re sorry?” she frowned.

“We were engaged yesterday in Hawaii, when we got home here, we were, still are I guess a bit jetlagged. You know how it is.” He smiled tearily “tired and cranky and we were yelling at each other. He didn’t see our low coffee table and fell. The last thing he said to me was that.” Dom sobbed “that he never wanted to see me again.”

“I’ll go and check on him, I’m sure he didn’t mean it.” She smiled reassuringly at him “My husband and I tell each other that at least once a day.”

“Thank you.” Dom murmured

“You just fill in those forms for me and I’ll be right back.”

Dom filled out the form quickly, not surprised at how well he knew Billy: he even had the Scot's insurance number memorized. The nurse came back with a tea, telling him only that the doctor was still observing Billy and would be out to speak with him as soon as possible.

Dom tapped his knee nervously, his hand still gripping Billy's ring. Time passed slowly in the waiting room, the odd patient coming in or leaving. He was about to go to the nurses' station for information when a mature-looking woman in a white lab coat entered the waiting room.

"Mr. Monaghan?" she asked standing in front of him. "I'm Dr. O'Malley."

"How is he, doctor?" Dom asked nervously noticing the look of pity on her face. "He's not...he hadn't moved once...but he was breathing...please tell me that he's not..."

"Mr. Monaghan." She sat down beside him, passing him a tissue. "Mr. Boyd is still alive. However, he has suffered a serious head trauma and there is a quite a bit of swelling."

“What does that mean?” Dom spoke slowly his face drained of color.

“We have to wait for him to regain consciousness before we can run definitive tests but the swelling can manifest itself in a myriad of ways. It could affect his vision, his hearing, his speech or even in the worst case scenario his complete brain function.”

“Are you saying he could be brain damaged?” Dom whispered his mouth suddenly dry.

“Yes.” She answered simply “But after the limited tests we have been able to perform whilst he is unconscious, we feel that only his vision has been impaired. Thus far he’s showing no response to visual stimulation.”

“He’s blind?” Dom gasped.

“It appears so, we won’t know how badly or how permanently until he revives but we believe it is total.”

“Oh my god.” Dom spoke tears running down his cheeks. “Can I see him?”

"I'm afraid that you won't be able to see him until we move him to a permanent room. That should be in a few hours. Why don't you go home…"

"No! I need to see him now," Dom cried, looking at the doctor with pleading eyes. "I need to see him, to tell him I love him. Please. He needs to know. He needs to believe me."

The doctor looked at the distressed man beside her and wondered if she should give him some sort of sedative. From what she had gathered after speaking to the paramedics and the nurse, the two men were recently married and had just arrived in Scotland when the accident took place.

"Please," Dom begged, "I have to be with him. If he wakes up and I'm not there, he'll think I left. I need to be there with him. I promised Viggo that I wouldn't hurt him. I need to be there when he wakes up. Please, I need to see him. I need to. I need him to forgive me; I need him to know that I'm sorry, and I didn't mean it. Oh god, he's going to hate me more. He'll never forgive me for this."

Dr. O'Malley took Dom's wrist and started counting his heart rate. If he continued like this, he'd end up in the bed beside his husband. "Your heart rate is far too high, Mr. Monaghan. I will not let you in to see Mr. Boyd if you don't calm down." She watched as he shakily wiped his eyes, the two wedding bands very noticeable on his hand. He breathed deeply a few times attempting to calm himself down before turning to look at her again, tears still flooding his eyes.

"I'll let you see him for ten minutes; that's all, Mr. Monaghan. Also, I'd ask that you try not to get upset. Although, Mr. Boyd hasn't woken up, research shows that he can still hear you, and will react to your stress level."

“I’ll do anything I have to if it means I can see him.” Dom vowed.

“then follow me and I’ll take you to him.” She spoke softly, she led him down the corridor and into an exam room, stopping by a curtained off area. “Please try not to worry too much. Your husband’s prognosis is very good.”

“I can’t help but worry, we’ve had such a rocky road lately,’ he paused at her frown. “I recently had a surfing accident and have only just regained my memory, now this.” He sighed “We just want to start our life together and be happy but we get one roadblock after another.”

“Things will all work out in the end, you just need to be patient.” She smiled understandingly.

“I hope so.”

“Your fiance is right behind those curtains. I’ll be back in 10 minutes.” She smiled and walked further down the exam room to check on another patient.

Dom took a deep breath and pushed in past the barrier of the curtains. Billy looked so small in the bed, his skin pale, his hair even more gingery against the stark white fabric of the pillow. Walking along the edge of the bed, he let his hand trail up from Billy’s foot along his leg and up to his shoulder before he reached out and took his hand in his. Pressing his lips to Billy’s knuckles he watched Billy’s face.

“I’m sorry Billy.” He whispered. “I’m so very sorry.” He slipped Billy’s ring from his own finger and slid it back onto it’s rightful place Billy’s finger.

Dom stroked Billy's forehead, biting his quivering lips. He let out a shaky breath, bringing Billy's hand to his heart. Blinking back his tears, he leaned over to kiss Billy gently on his eyelids, before pressing their lips together.

"I love you, Billy. I'm going to tell you that everyday for the rest of our lives,"' he whispered as he pressed his lips to Billy's forehead. "I'm never meant to hurt you; I really didn't. I just needed you to look at me, to know that I was telling you the truth."

Despite his promise to the doctor, Dom couldn't prevent the sob that tore through his body. "I'm so sorry, Bills. I'm going to make it up to you. I promise you. I love you so much, Bills. Just please wake up. Let me know that you're alright."

“I never meant to lie to you, honestly I didn’t I just loved you so much, and I knew it would all end when I told you I remembered, because that’s the honorable person you are. I knew you wouldn’t let it continue, I knew we would fight, I was waiting to tell you just until we got to Scotland. Away from everyone else. Somewhere where we could be alone and I could prove to you how very much I love you.” His tears trickled from his own cheeks to fall on Billy’s face. “baby if it would make you better I’d give my own life, please come back to me.”

“Mr Monaghan, it’s time to go.” The doctor’s voice spoke softly from the edge of the curtain.

Dom leaned down to press a gentle kiss against Billy’s forehead and turned to follow the doctor. When they reached the corridor she turned and spoke to him.

“I’d like to give you something to calm you Mr Monaghan.” She spoke softly.

“No I’m fine.” Dom shook his head.

“You’re unraveling before my eyes Mr Monaghan. Billy can’t afford for you to fall to pieces, he needs everything you are to him for his recovery. You can’t do that if you suffer a breakdown.”

“I’ll be fine.” He nodded. “I swear.” He smiled wanly.

“Then I must insist you have a friend stay with you.”

"They're coming. Viggo'll be here tomorrow," he told her, running his hand through his hair. He sighed remembering that he was supposed to call Viggo, and wondered how angry the Dane was at him.

"That's fine, but is there anyone that can keep you company this evening?"

"I'm not leaving Billy," he told her adamantly, his head shaking.

"Mr. Monaghan, there is really no reason for you to stay here. It is highly unlikely that Mr. Boyd will wake up in the next few hours, and even if he does, we are just going to sedate him again. The best advice that I can give you is to go home and get some rest."

"I can't. I can't leave him. Please, he needs to know that I'm here," Dom begged her.

“Mr Monaghan.” She spoke glancing at Billy’s chart in her hands. “Dominic,” she continued “There’s really nothing you can do, it would be better for both of you if you were to go home and get some rest.” She tried to explain to him as a young nurse approached them followed by an older man that Dom knew well.

“Beanie?” Dom exclaimed as he was enfolded into a tight hug.

“I got here as soon as I could.” He replied frowning at the way Dom was clutching him like a drowning man. “How’s our Pippin?”

“He hasn’t woken up yet.” Dom explained.

“We were just discussing that Mr ….?” She waited for an introduction to the stranger.

“You can call me Sean.” Sean smiled at her warmly. “Our friends in the US phoned me to let me know what had happened. How is he?”

“Prognosis for him is good, our expectations of a complete recovery is hopeful but guarded. My issues at the moment are with Mr Monaghan here.”

“Is he hurt?” Beanie frowned tightening his hold on his favourite hobbit.

“No.” she continued slowly. “He is and has been extremely distraught, which is a natural reaction , however, he was a hairs breadth away from emotional breakdown I am trying to convince him to go home and get some rest. However, he won’t budge.”

“And he won’t not while Billy is hurt.” Sean shrugged “It’s their way, they’re both stubborn and hard headed and care more about the other than they care about themselves. Been like it for six years now. I can’t see why today would be different.”

"I'm still here," Dom grumbled, leaning into Sean's embrace. The older man looked down at Dom and rolled his eyes.

"Don't worry, Dr…?"

"O'Malley."

"O'Malley," Sean smiled at her. "Don't worry; I'll make sure that Dom gets his rest. All that I ask is that we're notified if there are any changes to Billy's condition."

Sean covered Dom's mouth with his hand, stifling Dom's protests. He thanked the doctor and watched her walk away and then spun Dom around, gripping the top of his arms tightly.

"What the hell are you saying, Beanie? There's no way that I'm leaving Billy," Dom hissed trying to get out of Sean's tight grip.

"Listen here, hobbit. Either you walk out of this hospital willingly, or I throw you over my shoulder and carry you out. Either way, you're going home to get some rest."

“I don’t fucking need rest. I need my Billy.” Dom spoke through tightly clenched teeth.

“Have you stopped to look at yourself Dom.” He replied pushng Dom’s limp hair back from his forehead and holding his chin up so he could look into his face. “You look like a goddamn patient, if you can’t get a grip of yourself they won’t let you anywhere near him.”

“I hurt him Beanie, I hurt him and now he wont wake up.” Dom almost sobbed into Sean’s chest as he allowed himself to be drawn into his tight embrace.

“I know little hobbit I know.” Sean soothed him, stroking his back for long minutes before he turned him towards the exit. “You’re going home to sleep, then we’ll come back.”

"He doesn't think that I love him. He thinks that I lied, but I swear, Beanie, I love him so much it hurts. I'd do anything for him. That's the only reason I didn't tell him right away. I just needed to prove to him how much I love him first; I needed him to know how much I loved him," Dom babbled as Sean led him to the blue rental car.

Sean fastened the distraught boy in and slid into the driver's seat. "He knows how you truly feel, Dom. When married people get angry, they say really stupid, hurtful things. Some of the worse fights I've had have been with my ex-wives, before we even thought of divorcing."

Sean glanced quickly over at Dom as he merged onto the freeway. "I've been in some of the toughest neighborhoods in Sheffield, and yet a petite woman from the good side of London could have me feeling like the lowest person on earth. Do you know how that could happen, Dom?"

Dom pulled his knees into his chest and shook his head. "When you love someone, you know exactly where to attack. You know exactly what to say to make that other person feel as bad as they can with as little words as possible. Billy was hurting so he said the only thing that he could think of to make you hurt as well. But, as easy as it was for you to hurt each other, it will be just as easy to fix it. Normally only takes three words."

“And I’d wager you both did that didn’t you. You both lashed out wanting to hurt each other the same way you were hurting and in the end all you did was hurt yourself more.” Sean reached across and ruffled Dom’s hair. “tell me did they tell you anything about his condition?” as he stopped the car in front of Billy’s house.

“They’re not sure but they think he’s blind.” Dom looked across at Sean who had twisted in his seat to watch Dom. “He has serious swelling inside his head, she said that it can have a lot of outcomes. It can affect speech, hearing, vision or in the worst case complete brain function. They won’t know until he wakes but she said that he’s not responding to stimulation.” Dom sighed, his bottom lip trembling “I’ve taken his eyes away Seanie.”

“You don’t know that and it was as much his fault as yours.” He stated. “C’mon.” he climbed out of the car and led Dom into the house after claiming the key from the younger man. “You’re going to curl up in bed and sleep for at least three hours or I’m giving you a pill and you sleep for eight. Your choice.” He stated authoritatively.

“Then I guess I’ll be going straight to bed then?” Dom asked quietly as he walked wordlessly through the house finding Billy’s bed and curling up in sheets that still held his scent.

Sean closed the door behind him, looking sadly at the suitcases in the hallway. He wandered around the comfortable living room, looking at the various cast and family photos, noticing that Dom's photos were dominant.

Looking at his watch, Sean sighed and picked up the telephone, starting on his long list of phone calls. He left a message for Viggo updating him of Billy's condition and then faced the difficult task of calling Billy's sister. Margaret was surprisingly calm, though still very concerned about her brother. She told Sean that she would arrive on the first morning train and would meet them at the hospital.

After speaking with Margaret, Sean headed to the kitchen, noticing that she had already stocked the fridge for the newlyweds. He made a small pot of porridge, and a cup of tea for himself, before returning to the living room to rest.
Like clockwork, he heard movements coming from the bedroom exactly three hours later. Dom walked out sleepily, his clothes wrinkled and his hair sticking out at all angles.

"We need to get back to the hospital," he mumbled, looking around the front hall for his shoes.

“that we do little hobbit.” He spoke as he gently turned Dom back around and pushed him towards the bedroom again. “But first you need to shower. I’ll bring your suitcase in while you’re in the shower and then you’re going to have something solid to eat and a good sweet cup of tea.” He held up a hand as Dom began to protest. “That’s the deal Dom, you shower and eat or we don’t leave the house.”

“Fine.” Dom realized the futility of trying to argue and went meekly toward the shower. As soon as he had showered and dressed in fresh clothes pulled from his suitcase, he headed off towards the kitchen. Sean already had a steaming bowl of porridge and a cup of tea waiting for him. Eating quickly they were on their way less than 30 minutes after Dom woke.

Arriving at the hospital, Dom quickly discovered Billy’s room number and when he arrived at the room he stood at the door just watching Billy as he lay there. A gentle nudge from Bean was all it took to propel him into the room where he took up a seat at the edge of the bed and lifted Billy’s hand into his.

Pressing his lips against Billy’s knuckles he kissed him gently startled when Billy’s fingers closed around his.

"Billy, baby?" Dom looked back at Billy's face, seeing long eyelashes flutter open. His bit back his gasp when he saw Billy's eyes: they were glazed over, appearing almost dead.

"Dommeh?" Billy's voice came out raspy and thick with sleep. "Is that you, Dommeh?"

"Yeah, baby: it's me." Dom could already feel the tears forming in his eyes. Billy's head turned towards him and although the green eyes were open and looking in his direction, he could tell that they weren't looking at him. "You're gonna be fine, Bills. I'm going to take care of you."

"Dommie, I need you to do something for me," Billy said softly.

"God, anything Bills. Are you thirsty? Cold? Anything you need, just ask," Dom insisted, pressing kisses into Billy's palm.

"I need you…are you listening Dom, because it's very important that you hear this." Billy reached out blindly for Dom's head, pulling Dom closer to his face. "I need you…to get the fuck away from me!"

Dom stood so quickly he knocked the chair backwards, falling with a clatter to the floor behind him as his tears began to fall freely down his cheeks.
“You don’t mean that Billy.” Dom shook his head. “I Love you Bills.”

“I’m blind.” Billy stated flatly turning his head away. “Who’s fault is that?” he hissed. “If you hadn’t lied to me I wouldn’t fucking be here now would I.”

“Please Billy.” Dom sobbed.

“Just get the fuck away from me Dom.” Billy spoke wearily.

Dom looked at Billy, sobbing his misery before quickly leaving the room. Sean stood in the doorway, torn between following Dom and talking to Billy. Watching Dom sink into a plastic waiting room chair, he went with his second option.

“That was harsh.” He spoke as he walked closer to the younger man in the bed. “He didn’t deserve that.”

"You're right," Billy said turning his head towards Sean. "I should have told him to jump off a bridge as well."

Sean clenched his jaw and refrained from shaking the man on the bed. "Billy, don't you think that you're being a bit unreasonable?"

"Unreasonable, Beanie? Unreasonable? No, I don't think I'm being unreasonable. He's lucky that I didn't call the police and have him charged with assault."

"For God sakes, Boyd, listen to yourself. This is Dom you're talking about. Your Dom. Your Merry. You'd really call the police on him?"

"If I were a woman, Sean, everyone would be telling me to charge him with assault. Just because I'm a man, he can suddenly get away with hurting me?"

Sean growled, picking up the fallen chair and slamming it back into place. "It was an accident, Billy. You know that, I know that, and if Dom is ever able to stop crying, he'll know it too. Do you really think that Dom meant for this to happen, because if you really believe that, if in your heart, you really truly believe that, I'll put him on the first flight back to Hawaii."

“He lied to me Sean.” Billy whispered.

“Aye, he did.” Sean nodded “But he didn’t do it maliciously. He didn’t do it to take the piss, he didn’t do it to fuck with you.” He paused “He did it because he’s so insanely in love with you that he’s not thinking clearly. He has been for a long time Billy. He didn’t tell you that he remembered for what in his heart was a perfectly acceptable reason. He wanted you to see how deeply and how completely he loved you.”

“But he didn’t tell me Sean.” Billy murmured.

“From what I’ve heard he told you with every touch and every word from the minute he woke up. The only thing he did wrong was not telling you he remembered. Can’t you forgive him for that?”

Billy shook his head sadly. "I can't, Beanie. I can't because I know how he is. He's not thinking clearly. By the time he remembered we were already having sex. It's just the sex that he's into. Once he gets tired of it, he'll move on, and I'll be left with a broken heart."

"Billy, he loves you. He's not going to move on, not willingly. But if you keep on pushing him, if you keep on telling him that you want him to leave, he's going to start believing that you mean it."

"I can't deal with him right now, Beanie. Maybe once I get my sight back, hell, if I get my sight back, I'll think about forgiving him for lying to me. But right now, I don't want him any where near me. I need you to promise me that you'll keep him away."

“I can’t promise you that Billy. I’m sorry. Just consider this for a minute Billy. You’ve lost your eyesight, more than likely temporarily, you’re asking me to take everything that Dom holds dear in the world away. You. You’re his heart and soul, Billy, have been since the very start. You two are the only ones on set that didn’t know it.”

“You’re wrong, we’re just mates.” Billy muttered.

“Bollocks.” Sean spat “Your doctor threatened to sedate him when she told him your condition. He’s shattered Billy and you’re only gouging his pain deeper.”

“That’s guilt.” Billy spat

“No you daft prick, it’s love and the sooner you get over yourself and see that the better.” He moved towards the door. “I will keep him away from you, but I’m not going to do it for you, I’m doing it for him.”

Dom wiped his face with the sleeve of his shirt and stood up quickly when he saw Sean walking towards the waiting room.

"How is he doing, Beanie? Can I go back in now?" he asked anxiously, walking towards the room.

Sean grabbed his arm, preventing him from going any further. "He's resting now, Dommie. Why don't you and I head back home and get some rest ourselves."

Dom looked around Sean and saw that Billy was sitting up in his bed, face staring straight ahead. "He's not resting, Sean. I need to go and speak with him; I need to apologize and get him to forgive me."

"Well, he should be resting. Come on, let's go," Sean said trying to pull Dom out of the waiting room.

"No, Beanie. I'm not leaving until I speak to Billy," Dom pulled away from Sean, his arms crossed. "Why the hell are you so insistent that we leave? What happened in there, Bean? What did Billy say?"

“He never said anything Dom.” Sean sighed “I just think it would be better if we were to give him some space.”

“He’s all alone Sean, I can’t leave him alone. He can’t see. Don’t leave him alone in there.”

“Viggo will be here in a few hours, he won’t be alone for long.”

“He told you to keep me away didn’t he.” Dom looked into Sean’s eyes.

“No.” Sean lied “I told him I wasn’t letting you back in there. I won’t let him hurt you again.”

“Why not? I deserve it. I hurt him.”

“That was an accident Dom.”

“I still hurt him.” Dom shook his head “Hell I deserve to be charged with assault.”

“C’mon we’re going home.”
~*~*~*~*~*~

Billy turned on his back, pulling the hospital bedding up to his chest. He kept his eyes closed knowing that it wouldn't make much of a difference. He had waited for Dom to come storming back into the room and was surprised that he hadn't. He didn't know, however, whether to be happy or not about that.

His doctor had come in shortly after his visit with Sean and Dom, reassuring him that his blindness was most likely temporary and would most likely return once the swelling went down.

Sighing, he sank back into the pillow wondering what time it was. A nurse had brought him lunch a while ago and he had fallen asleep soon after. He stilled when he heard footsteps enter his room. The person stood by the door and Billy could hear the steady breathing.

"If that's you Dom, leave. I mean it," he growled turning his back to the door.

"I take it that the honeymoon's over," a soft Danish accent said, as the footsteps neared his bed.

“He lied to me Viggo.” Billy sighed in relief

“No he didn’t.” Viggo leaned in to touch Billy’s shoulder and then hug him tightly. “He just didn’t tell you, there’s a difference.”

“Not from where I sit. He still made a fool of me.”

“He loves you Billy. He was misguided but he did it because he loves you. If you want to be angry at someone be angry at me. I knew.”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because it wasn’t my news to give. You’re both my friends Billy. I hold your secrets just as dear as I hold Dom’s. I wouldn’t betray you just as I wouldn’t betray him.” Viggo explained.

“I love him so much Vig.” Billy spoke softly “So, so much.”

“Then forgive him.” Viggo shrugged.

“I can’t. he’s thinking with his sex drive Vig, I’ve seen him do this a hundred times. As soon as he gets tired of me he’ll throw me away.”

"I think six years is a long time to think with his sex drive don't you? Dominic loves you, Billy. Just as much as you love him. You need to forgive him."

"I can't, Viggo. It hurts too much. I can't deal with him right now. I need to concentrate on me. I've spent the past few years thinking about him, I need to think about myself for a while."

Viggo pulled the chair closer to the bed and sat down, taking Billy's hand into his own. "Has the doctor been in to see you today?"

"She thinks the blindness is only temporary; that I'll regain my sight once the swelling has completely gone."

“That’s good news then.” Viggo nodded “Ian is waiting in London, say the word and we’ll take you there away from everything.”

“Have you seen Dommeh?” Billy nodded, and murmured softly

“No we came straight here.” Viggo couldn’t help but smile, after Billy’s protestations he still asked about Dom.

“Beanie said he’s a mess.” Billy spoke softly “Actually Beanie was upset with me.”

“Why?” Viggo frowned.

“Said that all I’d lost was my eyesight, said that by sending Dom away I was gouging out his heart and soul. Told me how much Dom loves me and what a fool I am. Why can everyone else see it and I can’t.”
Billy snorted, smirking a bit. "Can't see anything now, can I?"

"Did Sean say anything else?" Viggo asked rolling his neck.

"Just that he'd keep Dom away from me-for Dom's sake. This wasn't how it was supposed to be, Vig," Billy cried. Viggo sat on the bed and pulled Billy into his arms. "We were finally supposed to be happy. Why is this happening? Why can't we just be happy?"

Viggo rocked Billy in his arms, holding him until the younger man fell asleep. He left the room quietly, pulling out his phone in the hallway.

"Hello, Sean," he said coolly when then phone was answered.

“Vig, how is he?”

“Does that really matter to you?”

“Don’t lay your guilt crap on me Viggo.” Sean stated smoothly “He might be the one in the hospital bed but Dom is the walking shell.”

“He’s a big boy Sean, he was told not to hurt Billy.”

“Maybe you should have given Billy the same warning. When I got here Billy’s doctor was on the verge of admitting Dom. She thought he was going to have some sort of breakdown. And frankly I agree with her.”

“He needs to deal with it Sean.” Viggo sighed

“How? Lets see, the person he loves most in the world told him he hates and never wants to see him again, He can’t go to his best friend because, holy crap they’re the same person. He can’t go to the other person he would because funnily enough he wants to kick his ass. He’s got no-one and then this morning Billy told him to get out and stay away from him. He’s barely tethered Viggo. Of course I’m gonna look out for him. Surprise, Surprise, they’re both our friends and they’re both hurting. I won’t leave him here to fall to pieces alone.”

"Billy doesn't want to see him, Sean, because Billy can't see him," Viggo hissed trying to keep his voice down. He turned his back away from the waiting room, not wanting anyone to overhear his conversation.

"It was an accident, Viggo," Sean yelled.

"An accident that caused Billy to lose his eyesight. I asked Dom to do one thing, Sean, one thing only and that was to not hurt Billy. Not only has he hurt him emotionally, but he's hurt him physically as well. You can't really expect Billy to welcome him back with open arms, can you?"

"Maybe not, but I didn't expect you to allow him to think like this. I expected you to try and convince him that what he's doing to Dom is wrong."

"Self-preservation isn't wrong, Sean. Billy's hurt and he's doing what he feels necessary to protect his heart."

"What about Dom's heart, Viggo?" Sean asked angrily. He paced the small kitchen, confused as to Viggo's actions. "

“What about it Sean? He knew what he was risking, but yet he wouldn’t do it any different.”

“Are you trying to punish him just because he didn’t do as you told him?” Sean hissed “Because you’re punishing the wrong person, he idolizes you. He’s shattered Viggo. Can’t you at least try to put them back together, instead of punishing him? Because after you’re done punishing him, you jus might not be able to put him back together again.”

"Punish him? No, Sean, I don't need to punish him. He got himself into this mess and I'm not going to help him get out of it." Viggo glanced into the room where Billy lay curled in a ball, looking like a small child rather than a grown man. "I told Dominic what would happen if he hurt Billy, and I meant it. Until Billy changes his mind, Dom is not allowed anywhere near him."

"You're being ridiculous, Viggo. Those two love each other, and you should be helping them get back together, not keeping them apart."

"Billy's made his decision, Sean, and I'm going to respect it. There's no need for Dominic to stay in Scotland. I'll leave it to you to see that he makes it back to Hawaii safely."

“You really think there is going to be anyway I’ll get him on a plane when his heart is broken and laying in a hospital bed.”

“Then we will be taking Billy away, I mean it Sean they will have no contact until Billy wishes it.”

Sean’s voice was low and threatening “I hope you’re happy. The orcs couldn’t do it, Hollywood couldn’t do it, but you’ve broken a hobbit. The only one that won’t be able to put completely back together either.” Sean pressed the disconnect button and dropped the phone to the kitchen table.

Sean sat down on the kitchen chair with a prolonged sigh, dropping his head into his forearms. He could feel the vein in his forehead throb and inhaled and exhaled to try and calm down. The nerve of the self-righteous Viggo Mortensen.

Current Mood: sick
Current Music: Shattering the stars - Ultimo

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Date: 2006-05-28 01:52 pm (UTC)

From:

Page Summary

Style Credit

Expand Cut Tags