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monaboyd Feb. 24th, 2006 11:48 am)
georgia-mason.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Feb. 24th, 2006 11:48 am)Hello:) My name is Georgie and I'm new to l.j in general and this is my first ever post to Monaboyd. *wave* I hope anyone that reads the fic below enjoys it and be gentle with me:)
Title: A brutal kind of love.
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: Pg-13 for swearing and a bit of violence
Summary: Dom distances himself from true love in order to stay sane. Evie is his second best.
Author:![[profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
georgia_mason
Notes: Forloozy who hasn't been well and thekeepa 'cause i heart you. This hasn't been beta'd so all spelling mistakes are mine, my own!
Feedback: Would be lovely and well recieved.
Disclaimer: This.is.all.lies.
Title: A brutal kind of love.
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: Pg-13 for swearing and a bit of violence
Summary: Dom distances himself from true love in order to stay sane. Evie is his second best.
Author:
georgia_masonNotes: For
loozy who hasn't been well and thekeepa 'cause i heart you. This hasn't been beta'd so all spelling mistakes are mine, my own!Feedback: Would be lovely and well recieved.
Disclaimer: This.is.all.lies.
Billy stands in the hallway of Dom's apartment with his luggage. He's leaving two days early and the sentiment is not lost on Dom. It screams one silent word - hopeless. Because that's not just what this visit has turned out to be, but what their entire psuedo-relationship (call it what you will) has turned out to be. One desperate, hopeless gesture after another. Except, what made everything worse on this particular visit was that Dom would not give himself to Billy even secretly, not physically and certainly not emotionally. Evie had won, at last.
As Dom sauntered in from the kitchen, barefoot, dressed in his casual sweats and tight black shirt - he noticed that avoiding eye contact with his former lover had become more of a reflex action that a concious effort. "I don't know why you have to leave so early, Bills. You know I'd run your new lines with you if your that worried about 'em and I had stuff planned," he thought the little sigh at the end made him sound a bit more believable but his voice was thick with untruths.
Billy chuckles to himself and recoils at how well he knows the man in front of him. Billy's tired, tired of everything. He drops all pretence for the first time in a long time. His sneer can be heard rather than seen as he hisses, "You're a great actor Dom, but you're a fucking horrible liar. Do you know that?!" Dom's head shoots up and wide eyed, he stutters out, "What?! What's your fucking problem?!"
"I came here to visit you, Dom. You cold shouldered me, we had no time to ourselves and you were so blatantly distancing yourself from me in front of Evie that I couldn't possibly stomach another two days of it. Don't make it worse with lies about plans you haven't made mate," Billy crosses the room to pick up his jacket which had been lying over the arm rest of a chair. A hand stops his jacket from behind and all of a sudden Dom is physically closer to Billy in what feels like an age for them both. Doms warm breath tickles the nape of Billy's neck as he speaks, "You just gonna leave it like this, Bills? Don't walk out of here on an argument. I couldn't bear it."
The familiarity of their position makes Billy's insides freeze and warm almost simultaneously. He feels an ache inside that is silent agony. How can this man, the only man that Billy has ever looked at seriously, make him feel the best he has ever felt and the worst in the space of a split second? A rage is boiling from beneath his skin and he feels the heat of it prickle on his face. Without turning, he very calmly, very quietly says, "If you don't back off of me right now, lad, I will knock you from here to fucking Sunday."
Dom's reaction feels odd, even to him. He doesn't flinch and he doesn't recoil. He doesn't even breathe because he believes Billy. That wasn't said in Normal Billy tone. It was said in Glasgow Billy tone. Billy's "don't fuck with me," voice was well crafted on the playgrounds and council estates but he had never used it on Dom. His Dom.
Dom feels stuck, rooted to the spot, "Billy, I love you. Don't talk to me like that." There's desperation in Dom's voice now and it's only serving to make Billy angrier. They're still in the same position as if cryogenically frozen in time, "Listen, my boy, I'll give you one last chance to back off before you get to know what a collapsed lung feels like." Still eerily calm, still eerily Glaswegian. Dom sticks to his guns, he can't back down now, whatevers going to happen, "Billy, I love you."
With that Billy turns. His eyes are fierce and his fist is clenched. Before Dom even registers his expression, he sustains a firm, hard punch to the gut. It's just below the ribs to the right side. He leaves out a muffled, "Oof," before he collapses to his knees clutching to the spot, eyes never leaving Billy's. Incapacitating - is all he can think, all he can feel.
The veins on Billy's neck are prominent now and his eyes are sparkling brilliant green. His face is flushed as he screams, "WANT ONE ON THE OTHER SIDE TO MATCH? YOU STUPID BASTARD!" Dom's eyes are tearful but they don't drop over his eyelids as he counters, "You had better pray that I don't get up Billy because if I do, I will fucking kill you, man.I fucking swear it." He uses that thick Mancunian drawl to play Billy at his own game. They both know it.
"Come on then, lad! Let's have at it! Let's kill each other! We killed our friendship by fucking, killed our relationship by fucking other people. All that's left is each other! Come on then! Let's be having ya!" Billy's facade is crumbling now, his voice is cracking. Dom's heart feels broken in his chest, a pain that far outweighs the one in his stomach. Billy drops to his knees in front of Dom, his head in his hands. Dom extends a hand to Billy's knee and they stay like that for what feels like an eternity but can't have been more than a few minutes.
When Dom finally speaks, he sounds like a child, "I can't change things. Evie's apart of my life now. You can't hate me for wanting something normal. I can't stay in that dank, dark closet with you forever." Billy raises his eyes to Dom but cast's them away to reply, "If I came out. If we...came out...publically, would you let Evie go? Have me back?" Dom squeezes his knee and says as clearly as he can, "Yes. Yes, I would."
"I can't come out," Billy sniffles. "I know," is all Dom can muster. Billy raises his eyes to Dom's tear filled ones and holds the gaze, "Lie down, Dommie."
The phrase he has heard from that man so many times but under such different circumstances cuts through Dom like a foil, "I...we can't Bills." Billy is already pushing him back as he soothes, "Ssh. Just let me." Billy takes the hand Dom is using the hold his aching abdomen and gently takes it away. Even more gently, he rolls up Dom's shirt revealing red, damaged skin. He leans down slowly and places a whisper of a kiss to the area he abused with his own fist and murmers shamefully, "I'm so sorry."
Dom is crying now, unabashedly. He looks every bit the picture of a small boy who has just been told his dog has died. His body is wracked by sobs as he lies there on the cold, marble floor. Billy quietly get's up, picks up his jacket and suitcase, making for the door. As he holds it open he hears Dom whimper, "I hate you, Billy. I fucking hate you. But god help me...I love you." Billy's throat constricts at this and it is an effort to reply as he says, "I know. God help us both Dommie."
And that is the last thing Dom hears before Billy closes the door on their past.
As Dom sauntered in from the kitchen, barefoot, dressed in his casual sweats and tight black shirt - he noticed that avoiding eye contact with his former lover had become more of a reflex action that a concious effort. "I don't know why you have to leave so early, Bills. You know I'd run your new lines with you if your that worried about 'em and I had stuff planned," he thought the little sigh at the end made him sound a bit more believable but his voice was thick with untruths.
Billy chuckles to himself and recoils at how well he knows the man in front of him. Billy's tired, tired of everything. He drops all pretence for the first time in a long time. His sneer can be heard rather than seen as he hisses, "You're a great actor Dom, but you're a fucking horrible liar. Do you know that?!" Dom's head shoots up and wide eyed, he stutters out, "What?! What's your fucking problem?!"
"I came here to visit you, Dom. You cold shouldered me, we had no time to ourselves and you were so blatantly distancing yourself from me in front of Evie that I couldn't possibly stomach another two days of it. Don't make it worse with lies about plans you haven't made mate," Billy crosses the room to pick up his jacket which had been lying over the arm rest of a chair. A hand stops his jacket from behind and all of a sudden Dom is physically closer to Billy in what feels like an age for them both. Doms warm breath tickles the nape of Billy's neck as he speaks, "You just gonna leave it like this, Bills? Don't walk out of here on an argument. I couldn't bear it."
The familiarity of their position makes Billy's insides freeze and warm almost simultaneously. He feels an ache inside that is silent agony. How can this man, the only man that Billy has ever looked at seriously, make him feel the best he has ever felt and the worst in the space of a split second? A rage is boiling from beneath his skin and he feels the heat of it prickle on his face. Without turning, he very calmly, very quietly says, "If you don't back off of me right now, lad, I will knock you from here to fucking Sunday."
Dom's reaction feels odd, even to him. He doesn't flinch and he doesn't recoil. He doesn't even breathe because he believes Billy. That wasn't said in Normal Billy tone. It was said in Glasgow Billy tone. Billy's "don't fuck with me," voice was well crafted on the playgrounds and council estates but he had never used it on Dom. His Dom.
Dom feels stuck, rooted to the spot, "Billy, I love you. Don't talk to me like that." There's desperation in Dom's voice now and it's only serving to make Billy angrier. They're still in the same position as if cryogenically frozen in time, "Listen, my boy, I'll give you one last chance to back off before you get to know what a collapsed lung feels like." Still eerily calm, still eerily Glaswegian. Dom sticks to his guns, he can't back down now, whatevers going to happen, "Billy, I love you."
With that Billy turns. His eyes are fierce and his fist is clenched. Before Dom even registers his expression, he sustains a firm, hard punch to the gut. It's just below the ribs to the right side. He leaves out a muffled, "Oof," before he collapses to his knees clutching to the spot, eyes never leaving Billy's. Incapacitating - is all he can think, all he can feel.
The veins on Billy's neck are prominent now and his eyes are sparkling brilliant green. His face is flushed as he screams, "WANT ONE ON THE OTHER SIDE TO MATCH? YOU STUPID BASTARD!" Dom's eyes are tearful but they don't drop over his eyelids as he counters, "You had better pray that I don't get up Billy because if I do, I will fucking kill you, man.I fucking swear it." He uses that thick Mancunian drawl to play Billy at his own game. They both know it.
"Come on then, lad! Let's have at it! Let's kill each other! We killed our friendship by fucking, killed our relationship by fucking other people. All that's left is each other! Come on then! Let's be having ya!" Billy's facade is crumbling now, his voice is cracking. Dom's heart feels broken in his chest, a pain that far outweighs the one in his stomach. Billy drops to his knees in front of Dom, his head in his hands. Dom extends a hand to Billy's knee and they stay like that for what feels like an eternity but can't have been more than a few minutes.
When Dom finally speaks, he sounds like a child, "I can't change things. Evie's apart of my life now. You can't hate me for wanting something normal. I can't stay in that dank, dark closet with you forever." Billy raises his eyes to Dom but cast's them away to reply, "If I came out. If we...came out...publically, would you let Evie go? Have me back?" Dom squeezes his knee and says as clearly as he can, "Yes. Yes, I would."
"I can't come out," Billy sniffles. "I know," is all Dom can muster. Billy raises his eyes to Dom's tear filled ones and holds the gaze, "Lie down, Dommie."
The phrase he has heard from that man so many times but under such different circumstances cuts through Dom like a foil, "I...we can't Bills." Billy is already pushing him back as he soothes, "Ssh. Just let me." Billy takes the hand Dom is using the hold his aching abdomen and gently takes it away. Even more gently, he rolls up Dom's shirt revealing red, damaged skin. He leans down slowly and places a whisper of a kiss to the area he abused with his own fist and murmers shamefully, "I'm so sorry."
Dom is crying now, unabashedly. He looks every bit the picture of a small boy who has just been told his dog has died. His body is wracked by sobs as he lies there on the cold, marble floor. Billy quietly get's up, picks up his jacket and suitcase, making for the door. As he holds it open he hears Dom whimper, "I hate you, Billy. I fucking hate you. But god help me...I love you." Billy's throat constricts at this and it is an effort to reply as he says, "I know. God help us both Dommie."
And that is the last thing Dom hears before Billy closes the door on their past.
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Thanks again for such a lovely comment.
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This is very well done. Like Dommie says, I hate it (gahh I felt that punch myself) but I love it (squee!). ♥
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That wasn't said in Normal Billy tone. It was said in Glasgow Billy tone. Billy's "don't fuck with me," voice was well crafted on the playgrounds and council estates but he had never used it on Dom. His Dom.
That? His Dom? Guh. Loved this.
Billy's facade is crumbling now, his voice is cracking. Dom's heart feels broken in his chest, a pain that far outweighs the one in his stomach. Billy drops to his knees in front of Dom, his head in his hands. Dom extends a hand to Billy's knee and they stay like that for what feels like an eternity but can't have been more than a few minutes.
That? I actaully felt that.
Loved this. Post more! I'm going to go and put myself back together now :D
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Yes, I am going to make a series out of it because the feedback has been so lovely:)
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Will there be more? *begs*
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I love your icon btw....*rummages around for my copy of Urban ghost story and contemplates a shark related fic...* but not before I finish chapter two of this wee fic here.
Thanks again, your encouragement, its really appreciated:) I'm starting to like it here at l.j. I think I might stay!
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