monaboyd | The Blue Room

Title: The Blue Room
Author:

aire_blair
Pairings: Billy & Dom
Rating: PG-13ish
Summary: A little private time for the boys, after a talk show appearance.
Disclaimer: Don’t know ‘em. No harm meant to anyone, anywhere, anytime. Could’ve happened, I s’pose.
A/N: My thanks to

canciona for the beta, for her support, and mostly importantly, her friendship.

The Scotch swirls in the tumbler…neat, no ice. Just a little something to take the edge off while he waits.

The Blue Room…silly name for what amounts to a large living room with a huge suede couch, a coffee table in front of it, and a long, full stocked bar behind it. All the walls painted in dark greens and muted browns, but no blue. Windows that are tinted to prevent stalkerazzi from intruding, yet offer a stunning view of the city outside.

A room made available for guests of the show, and their guests. For as long as they want or need it.

A 60-inch flat panel monitor mounted on the wall, shows the host going through his opening monologue in real-time, in the studio two floors below.

Another sip of the whisky, and he slips his loafers off, stretches his legs out, resting his feet on the table. It’s been a long flight with little time to rest before being driven to this place by friends who’ll be back around eleven to collect him.

It’s been even longer since he’s been alone with the one he waits for, months in fact, and that grim thought weighs heavily on his mind. Too long, Billy thinks, too long since we’ve been able just sit and talk together without…interruption, without others crowding us.

He doesn’t notice that the monologue is finished; a makeup girl is touching up the host, as they wait for the signal to resume taping. Finally, Jimmy begins his introduction, and Billy refocuses his attention on the big screen.

Dom walks out, doing what has become almost a trademark slashing motion with his arm, and Billy’s eyes are riveted to the screen. But not just his eyes; his ears are also focused. He’s listening, listening for clues in his friend’s speech pattern…clues to how he’s doing, clues to how his mood has been, and what his mood is tonight.

Because even though they are not together everyday anymore, Billy still can read Dom, can still pick up on the minutest change in inflection or turn of phrase.

For a moment he tenses as Dom sits and fidgets to get comfortable. But as Dom launches into a “bit” about Jimmy’s favorite kind of egg, Billy relaxes. He smiles as Dom spars with Jim, taking control of the interview, and then gracefully turning it right back over.

Jimmy steers Dom onto the topic of Lost - the reason Dom is there to begin with. Billy shakes his head in amazement as Dom takes the piss with a story about taking a piss on set one day, complete with simulated hand motions and gestures. The audience laughs with the story, as does Jimmy, but Billy thinks he can detect something else there…something that’s just barely buried beneath Dom’s surface.

Billy can recognize it, because it’s simmering in him also. Get on with it, he thinks, my patience is running thin. To be so close, and still separated…not in the same room, the same space…it’s frustrating to Billy…and to Dom also, he thinks.

Taping stops again for two minutes to allow for a break. Billy watches with interest as Dom takes a drink, following his eyes as they dart around the audience. Jimmy makes a comment to Dom, and a conversation ensues, but the microphones are turned off. Billy is left to wonder.

When Dom’s eight-minute segment is finished, Billy allows his eyes to close. He knows that there’s another guest, that the focus is off Dom, and maybe now he can catch a few minutes a sleep while he waits.

Almost an hour goes by before Billy opens his eyes. The screen on the wall is blank, and casting an eerie blue light about the room. Billy rises and heads to the bathroom to relieve himself, and splash some cold water on his face. He wastes no time in the bathroom, knowing it can’t be long now. He moves back to the windows to wait.

He hears Dom before he sees him…hears his feet moving quickly down the hall, and then his voice calling softly for Billy as he pushes the door open.

“Right here, Dom!” he answers, throwing his arms wide. Dom hurries in and gives a quick hug whispering “Jimmy’s right behind me…he wanted to say ‘hi’”, before releasing Billy just as quickly, and moving towards the couch.

The hairs on the back of Billy’s neck go up in alarm. Even when things between them have been at their worst, Dom never does “quick” hugs. Dom-hugs convey more than words ever could. They tell stories, they pass along the thoughts and feelings that Dom can not bring himself to say, they validate and confirm all the things he has said. But they are never quick.

Jimmy comes in to say his hello to Billy, and inquire about the band business that Dom mentioned during the break. Jimmy adds that he’s always happy to give a new band a boost, if they’re good. Billy answers the small talk, making jokes, while glancing surreptitiously around the room to keep an eye on Dom’s movements. Dom has not joined in the conversation with Jimmy, except to add some light comments about his appearance.

Jimmy doesn’t stay long, and leaves with an earnest promise to have Billy as a guest, once the CD is ready for promotion. Billy nods in agreement, but doesn’t give much thought to the offer, he just wants Jimmy to leave. With a wave to Dom, Jim is gone.

After he closes the door, and turns the lock, Billy turns to the couch, but Dom’s not there. He’s moved to the windows. Putting space between them.

“Dom?”

“Was a good show, yeah?” Dom parries back.

“Yeah, it was…crowd was with you.” Billy replies, as he sits on the couch. So, I’ve got to be patient a bit longer he thinks, until Dom’s ready. He sinks back into the cushions, and puts his feet back on the table. Might as well be comfortable.

Silence. Long minutes of silence. Billy thinks it would be a waste of their precious time together if he didn’t know Dom as well as he does. He can tell from Dom’s body language that something is not right. But he also knows that Dom is trying to organize how he wants to present it to Billy. Billy decides to offer Dom a way.

“So…you’ve been busy lately.” He starts, hoping Dom will pick up the cue.

Dom looks up at Billy quickly, and then back out the window again. A moment or six passes before he answers. “It’s been mad, really, Bill…I basically had a vacation for the last few months, but now…now it’s gone mad. The Mouse hired a new publicity firm for me a few months back - just fired Renee without any notice. That wasn’t fair to her at all – she’d been a good friend to me, and I haven’t got any say in the matter at all.” Dom lets his hang bang against the glass several times, a sign that his frustration level is growing.

“This new firm has me doing phone interviews, photo shoots, appearances…and I’ve got to fit all that in with the shooting schedule, because now I’m working five to six days at a time, sixteen hour days, damn writers finally decided that Naveen and Jorge and I could come back and play with the others, and I feel bad ‘cuz Evie and I don’t get to spend that much time alone together…”

“How is she?” Billy interrupts, hoping to slow down the rapidly increasing stream of consciousness that Dom has let loose.

“She’s fine, Bill…she’s great…she’s in New York this week, did I tell you that? Doing all sorts of press and appearances for the show. Told me to tell you ‘hey’ when I saw you.” Dom’s started pacing while he talks, back and forth in front of the window.

Billy sees this, and realizes what he needs to do. He can tell there’s more that Dom’s going to tell him, but it’s something that’s really got him worried. Billy rearranges himself on the couch, turning so that his back is against the soft armrest, one leg up against the back cushions, the other draped on the floor.

“Dom.” He calls softly, holding out his right hand.

“Yeah?” Comes the equally soft reply, as the pacing stops. Billy can feel Dom looking in his direction, but he says nothing, just keeps his hand outstretched. Only now does he allow his eyes to find Dom’s. In all their time together, or apart, they’ve never lost their ability to communicate with each other just by a look.

Dom lets down his guard, his walls and bravado when Billy looks at him like this. He toes his shoes off, slips out of his coat, and pads over to Billy, never breaking the eye contact. He’s hesitant at first to slide his hand into Billy’s, but once the pads of his fingertips slide over Billy’s the rest of his hand goes quickly, and before he knows it he’s sitting in front of Billy, with his back to Billy’s chest. Billy lets go of Dom’s hand and turns his attention toward Dom’s shoulder blades, his clever fingers kneading and pushing into knots Dom didn’t even realize he had.

To the untrained eye, there is nothing overly intimate in what Billy’s doing, just a friend giving a friend a backrub. But not for these two friends. Backrubs, shoulder rubs, foot rubs…all hold special meaning for them. Even when they couldn’t speak words to one another, touches always spoke volumes.

Dom doesn’t respond right away, or rather, his body doesn’t relax as quickly as Billy is used to. Unconsciously, Billy starts to hum as he continues to knead and push and soothe the skin beneath his fingers.

“Billy,” Dom starts.

Billy doesn’t answer, just keeps humming and massaging.

“Bill, there’s something I wanted – all these interviews I’m doing, they all ask the same thing, and I try not to give away too much and then they take it and twist it ‘til it doesn’t even resemble what I said…what’s that you’re humming?” Dom asks, turning his head to face Billy.

“Hmm? Oh, I don’t know Dom, I wasn’t paying –“

“Trying to work some Coldplay on me Bill? ‘Fix You’? That you’re way of trying to tell me something?” Dom’s agitated now, but doesn’t make any move away from Billy.

“Dom…I wasn’t trying –"

“God dammit, Billy – I don’t need to be fixed, you hear me? I don’t need anyone else –"

“Dom…I swear, I didn’t even realize –"

“I’m up to here with people worrying about me, and all I want to do is warn –"

“Dominic! Would you shut the –"

“Warn you about an article in the fuckin’ gossip rag tha –" Dom doesn’t get to finish his warning, as Billy’s arm has shot out around Dom’s chest, and yanked him backward, tight against Billy’s chest, and his other hand has landed on Dom’s chin, turning him to face Billy, and Billy’s lips are cutting Dom’s words off.

Soft, closed mouth. Lips just firmly planted on lips. Billy waits, hoping that the meaning will be taken. Waits for a sign that Dom won’t pull away. Billy knows this time together is precious, and he’ll be damned if he’s going to let any of it be wasted by useless bickering. When Dom allows himself to lean into Billy just the slightest bit, he knows he’s gotten his sign.

Slowly, so slowly, Billy moves his lips against Dom’s. Billy’s holding his breath. Dom is holding his own, and his lips are asking questions. Billy’s give the answers, and the arm that’s clutched tight to Dom’s chest relaxes its hold just a tiny bit, enough to allow Dom’s body to turn into Billy’s. Although only a second has passed, it seems like ages before Dom responds to Billy, and his body begins to relax. Billy can literally feel the tension ease down Dom’s spine, as his mouth moves against Billy’s.

Billy allows his eyes to close, and his hands to touch Dom. His lips, so familiar with the territory they now cover, work on their own, brushing up and down, small little touches against the matching set they were made for.

Teasingly, his mouth opens to allow his tongue room to peek out. It too knows this territory, and it wants to be greedy, it wants to plunge deep and fast into its playground, but not tonight. Tonight it is held in check, mostly, until its companion comes out to meet it.

When they do meet, oh it’s sweet. A dance begins, slow and tantalizing, not hurried. With no purpose other than to share this moment with each other, both men allow their bodies to rule their movements.

Finally, too soon, necessity breaks in and demands that they breathe. The kiss, begun so swiftly, ends slowly, neither one wanting to leave the comfort and security of the connection. Billy leans his forehead against Dom’s, and sighs.

“M’sorry, Dom…I just needed you to stop talking for a minute –"

“No Bill…I’m sorry…I shouldn’t have gone off on you like that. I’ve just…I’ve been worried that you’d seen the magazine before I got to tell you about it, and -" Dom’s hand finds Billy’s and he grabs it, entwining their fingers.

“Shh, now…I heard about the interview a few weeks ago…someone mentioned that you had done it to my agent, and she told me.” Billy kisses the lips he loves again, just to convey that everything’s alright. Dom kisses him back, acknowledging, accepting.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner, it’s being held under wraps until after the Globes for some reason…probably to see if we win. The reporter tried to press hard about me and Evie – tried to get me to commit to details that aren’t there, and lately it seems as though everything I say gets twisted and rewritten to suit their own needs." Dom speaks quickly now, bitter, anxious to explain, anxious for an answer.

“My Dom…” he lays their joined hands over Dom’s heart. “Am I still here?” he whispers, knowing that while his time to be with Dom may have passed for now, it will come again. Next time, he won’t let it slip through his fingers.

Dom turns in his arms, so that his back is once again flush to Billy’s chest. “Always, Bill. That will never change, ever.” To emphasize his conviction, Dom brings their joined hands to his lips, kissing Billy’s knuckles, and returning them over his heart.

“That’s all I need, then.”

The stay like this for another hour or so, talking, touching, reconnecting, strengthening the thread that binds them, has bound them for years, until it’s time to leave. They’ve had this blue room, for just as long as they needed it.

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