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monaboyd Jan. 2nd, 2006 07:21 pm)
sassywitch.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Jan. 2nd, 2006 07:21 pm)Title: End of the World
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sassywitch
Fandom: LOTRPS
Characters: Monaboyd
Word Count: 3807
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There's only so much one person can take
Disclaimer: Don't own them or they'd be far happier and in closer proximity
Author's Notes: This is a companion peice for Tonight I wanna Cry. Many thanks to the magnificentdylan_dufresne for giving this a look over for me. Thanks eternally babe. Loosely inspired by the lyrics of the song End of the World by David Campbell. For those interested here's a link to the song. http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1CA4J9PIGWVBP0SAV79OHY9C1L
Dom sat behind the wheel of his rented car for long minutes, barely able to acknowledge his own existence. He was suddenly cut adrift, lost and being tossed in a stormy sea of desolate anguish. His love for Billy had been a part of his life for so long, that to cut his ties to Billy would kill him.
Starting the car, he cast one final glance at Billy's cozy little house, cataloguing the memories in his distraught mind. The cold air penetrating the car, he shivered, remembering the warm jacket he had left hanging on Billy's coat rack. Spinning the wheel quickly he turned the car in the narrow street and drove away from the one place that had been his haven since New Zealand.
His foot a little too heavy on the pedal, his mind a little too distracted by his pain, his vision clouded with stinging tears, the icy sludge falling and reducing his vision to less than a few feet in front of the car, Dom didn't notice the black ice that marred the road. As the wheels hit the slick surface, their grip on the rough surface of the road was reduced to nothing. Suddenly the car began to spin, pin wheeling across the road, spinning like a Dodgem car after an aggressive hit. Dom's attention suddenly riveted to the car, he struggled against the vehicle, trying to wrest it back onto the course he had intended.
His struggles were in vain. The wheels skated across the ice without an ice dancer's grace, it's compact bulk spinning madly, the snowy hedges and fences of the houses that lined the streets whipping past the windows. The car's twisting descent slowed as the hill began to level. Dom's eyes widened as he followed what he knew would be the car's path. Throwing his arms up over his face, he braced his feet against the floor as he felt its crunching impact. His head was thrown back against the headrest, his neck snapping painfully as the front and side airbags deployed, puffing a white dusty powder throughout the car. The windscreen shattered and snow fell into the now open vehicle as Dom's head dropped forward onto the deflating airbag.
~~~~~
Billy dropped to his knees, lifting his precious photo and pressing it against his chest, almost as if the torn edges of the paper would hold his shattered heart together. Pulling in a deep shuddering breath, he reached a decision in his mind. Pulling himself to his feet, he moved quickly to the door, flinging it open, ready to rush into the snowy night and beg his best friend back into the house, to declare his love for the world to see if they wanted to. He couldn't live without Dom; he really didn't know how he had expected to even try.
As the door bounced against the wall, Billy stopped. The taillights of Dom's car disappeared down the street. Tears overflowed from his sad eyes. Sighing deeply, he turned; he'd missed his chance, sadness overwhelmed his already broken heart. Then he heard it. The screeching of tires, trying to find purchase on slick roads, the sickening thud and crunch of metal meeting an immovable object. The long staccato bleating of the car horn blared through the dark silence of the night.
Billy didn't even stop to think. He knew as clearly as he knew the sun would rise tomorrow that it was Dom. He ran down his front path and pushed through his gate. He didn't feel the icy bite of the snow and ice against his bare feet; he didn't feel the sharp sting of the wind as it whistled through his too light for snowstorms sweater. His one thought was to get to his Dominic.
Running frantically down the hill to the corner of his street, his heart almost stopped as he heard the low keening wail of sirens approaching. Certain that the last words he and Dom had spoken were in anger, Billy's pace increased. Slipping on the icy surface, his arms wind milled wildly as he struggled to remain upright. Losing the battle he hit the ground hard, a sharp pain slicing through his right arm. Laying on his back in the icy sludge for long minutes, he hissed at the pain radiating from his arm and hip, but his determination to get to Dom made him pull himself back to his feet.
At the corner he turned towards the source of the noise and ran as fast as his feet would carry him. Halfway down the hill, his desperation morphed into fear as he caught sight of the car. The small green car was buckled around a tree, the back and front windscreens lying shattered against the car. His pace slowed as suddenly he wasn't sure he wanted to know what had happened. His arms wrapped around his middle, suddenly nauseous as he got closer. Then he saw it. Dom's sweet tousled blonde head.
He could breathe again. Dom was sitting on a gurney in the back of an ambulance. White gauze decorated his forehead and a brace was wrapped around his neck, but he was breathing, and awake. But he was breathing. Billy had been certain he would find Dom's body twisted in the wreckage before he could beg for forgiveness.
Pushing past the people that were standing on the footpath, Billy stepped onto the road and closer to the ambulance.
"Dommeh." He spoke as he reached the back of the ambulance, for the first time noticing the young boy laying in the other gurney, his wrist in an inflatable cast, his eyes wide as he tried to take in everything around him, his own pain forgotten.
"What do you want Billy?" Dom looked up at him his eyes clouded with pain.
"To apologize Dom. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Ignoring Billy's apology Dom spoke quietly. "This is David." Dom gestured to his new friend. "They were around the corner collecting him when I had my….my accident," he finished softly.
"David." Billy smiled at the youngster who waved cheerily at him.
"Excuse me sir." The paramedic spoke to Billy as he closed one door. "I'm afraid you'll need to step aside, you can meet him at the hospital."
"I need to come with you." Billy pleaded. "Please Dommeh, please don't do this."
Dom looked at the paramedic who was watching him closely and shook his head.
"I'm sorry sir; you'll have to meet us at the hospital." The paramedic closed the other door as he spoke.
"Please." Billy spoke softly his accent thick and emotional. "I have to go with him. He needs me."
The paramedic looked closely at the man in front of him. Barefoot and dressed in threadbare jeans and a thin sweater, he was apparently begging for frostbite. "How long have you been outside?" he asked gently reaching out to cup Billy's shoulder.
"I heard Dommeh crash. I ran down here. We had fought. I wanted to apologize, but I thought he was dead."
"You didn't stop for shoes?" He quirked his brow as he asked.
"I couldn't. Dommeh needed me." Billy shrugged, wincing as his shoulder pulled back.
"Listen." The paramedic sighed "It's against regulations and I'll get my arse kicked from here to next year, but the way I see it somebody will just have to come back later to pick you up, too. You can ride in the front with me to the hospital. But when we get there, you're on your own."
Billy nodded sadly as he walked around to the front of the ambulance and climbed into the passenger seat, suddenly feeling weary and every one of his years.
The trip is thankfully short, Billy huddled shivering miserably in the front of the ambulance, sliding out of the seat as it stopped in the emergency bay at the hospital. As Dom's gurney was pulled from the back, he ghosted along the wall of the building, watching but not approaching the one person who could make his entire world right with just one word.
Dom's long lashes lay against his pale cheeks as the gurney was pushed into ER, Billy following as closely behind as he could. At the door to the examination room, Billy started to slip inside the swinging doors when a nurse put a hand gently on his arm to stop his progress. At the light touch of her fingers, an anguished cry was ripped from Billy's lips. The white hot pain stabbing through his arm burned through his entire body, but the epicenter was somewhere in his arm. He couldn't look, he could barely even breath as he fell to his knees, struggling to keep some control.
Curled in on his pain in the doorway, Billy barely even noticed when he was pulled to his feet by an orderly and sat in a wheelchair. As they tried to wheel him from the room, he realized their intentions and struggled to get out of the chair, whimpering as he jostled his arm in the struggle to stay with Dom.
"Please no!! I have to stay with Dommeh. He doesn't realize it but he needs me," Billy spoke desperately. "I need him. Please. Don't take me. Not yet. I need to know he's okay?"
"Billy." Dom's spoke, his voice tired and filled with pain. "I'm not going anywhere. Uou're hurt, let them fix you."
"I'm so sorry, Dommeh. Please Dommeh, I'm so sorry."
"I know Bills. I'll be here when you get back. I'm fine," he murmured. "Don't make me worry about you, Billy."
It was the thought of Dom worrying about him while he was hurting himself that stole the fight from Billy. He wordlessly sat in the wheelchair, answering when he was spoken to, struggling against the waves of pain that washed over him as they clipped the sweater from his arm. Tears of regret welling in pain glazed eyes, that they were destroying a sweater his Dommeh had given him. His arm now almost grotesquely swollen, was rapidly bruising as well. Heavy, blood red and almost black bruising ringed his wrist and halfway up his forearm. Even he could see it was broken, either that, or he'd grown a second elbow in the middle of his forearm.
The fingers of his left hand played with the frayed ends of wool at the cut edge of his sleeve as he fondly remembered unwrapping this sweater last year in Hawaii and realizing the trouble Dom had gone to to find him a sweater in his tropical paradise. Not just any sweater either, it was almost the same color as Dom's eyes, reminding Billy of his best mate every time he looked at it. Now, in the space of one night, he had lost two of the most precious pieces of Dom that he kept close to his heart. He wouldn't lose the most important thing. He couldn't. Without that he would surely die.
~~~~~~
Dom laid on the gurney in the examination room, submitting to the pokes and prods of the hospital staff. The whole time he was worried about Billy. The cry that had brought Billy to his knees had chilled his blood. Something was seriously wrong with his wee Scot and he had been so wrapped up in his own misery that he hadn't noticed.
Finally allowed to sit upright again, his body a mass of aches and the beginnings of painful bruises, Dom turned sad eyes on the delicate, tiny blonde nurse that reminded him so much of a cast mate.
"Please." He murmured "Can you find out what is wrong with my friend?" he asked.
The young woman looked into his face and smiled warmly. "If you promise me you'll stay here until I get back, sure."
"If you can find out about him, I promise I won't move a muscle." Dom smiled weakly back.
"Then I'll be right back." She said, and walked out of the room.
Dom sat on the edge of the gurney, cataloguing his aches and pains, thinking for the hundredth time how lucky he had been in his accident. He had a pain in his head like his skull had been cleaved by an Orc blade, but really he didn't feel too bad. Having seen the passenger side of the car, he was convinced that if the drivers side had have been the one to take the impact, he may not be here now.
His long fingers were picking at the jagged tear in the knee of his jeans, his fingernails scraping at the blood encrusted edges of the fabric when the nurse walked back in.
"How is he?" Dom asked quickly.
"He should be alright." She smiled, her smile not quite meeting her eyes.
"Should?" Dom frowned.
"He has a very bad break in his arm, fractured both the ulna and radius badly, and a couple of metacarpals, all in his right arm. Cracked a couple of ribs and the soles of his feet are badly sliced up. As soon as he comes out of surgery, you'll be able to see him."
"Surgery?" Dom' s face whipped up to look into her eyes, his own face a mask of desperation.
"To fix his arm. I'm not sure what they're doing. Probably screwing the bones together, I'm really not sure, the break was bad."
"Please." Dom slid off the edge of the gurney and landed unsteadily on his feet. "I need to see him, please?"
"He's in surgery at the moment," she soothed him "And you are supposed to be moving to a ward for overnight observation."
"I'll sign myself out." He shrugged painfully. "Please, I need to be there for Billy, he's all alone."
"If you let them take you to a ward and you try to relax, I'll make sure you're kept informed and I'm sure we can arrange for you to be put in the same room."
"I'm okay." Dom took a deep breath and steadied himself "Please, I'm really okay. I don't need observation. What I need is my Billy and to know that he's okay. He hates hospitals; he's alone and worried about me. It's all my fault. I was the one running away. I need to be there for him. Please?"
"What you need to do," she stated, cupping his chin with one hand. Dhe turned his face so he was looking into her eyes. "Is calm down. Upsetting yourself will not help him."
"I wouldn't be upsetting myself if you'd just let me see him," Dom pleaded with her.
"I'm sorry." She shook her head, "Once we get you settled into your room then we'll talk about it again."
"No we won't," Dom growled. "I'm not going to a room. I'm going to Billy, and I want my release papers…now."
"I'd advice against that, Mr. Monaghan." She tried to calm him.
"I'll still be in your fucking hospital," he growled pulling himself to his full height, his shoulders squared waiting for a fight. "Just get me my discharge papers, so I can find Billy."
She watched him for a few seconds and sighed before turning and walking out of the room. Unwilling to wait for her return Dom followed her slowly, the stitches across his knee pulling as he walked stiff legged from the room. His bruised ribs ached even as he stood tall and straight, trying to ease the pressure on them. His head still pounded, but none of his physical injuries hurt nearly as much as the hollow ache in his broken heart.
Signing the papers the now tightlipped nurse pushed at him, he took a copy of them and the prescriptions that she proffered. Before he could ask, she directed him towards the surgical floor and he shuffled his way to the elevator. As he stood in the tiny metal cubicle, waiting for it to take him closer to Billy, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He really felt like absolute shite, but there was no way he was closing his eyes until he made sure Billy was okay. It was his fault Billy was hurt. If he hadn't pushed the issue, they would both be asleep in Billy's cozy living room. But they weren't, he sighed as the elevator jerked to a halt, eliciting a moan of pain from Dom's lips as his bruised ribs protested.
Pausing long enough to tell the nurse at the nurse's station that he was here for Billy, he shuffled his way along the hall to the waiting room she directed him to. The hallway was like a tunnel that never ended. The further he walked, the longer it seemed to get. When he finally reached the sofa, he sank into its plush welcoming embrace. Lying across the seat, his legs looped over the arm of the sofa, and the pressure was finally lifted from his aching chest. Having reached his destination, he gave into the need to close his eyes just for a few minutes.
Brushing his hand against the hand on his shoulder he mumbled happily in his sleep. "Bills, fuck off. I'm tired."
"Mr. Monaghan." A voice sounded quietly in his ear. His confused mind sorted through his memories, and as he tried to roll towards the voice, his bruised chest protested painfully. Memories of this day came flooding back. Drawing in a deep breath, he swung his legs around and gingerly lifted himself to a seated position before he opened his eyes.
A weary doctor, her scrubs bearing the bloody splatters of a surgeon sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him, her arms resting lightly on her knees as she watched him.
"Billy?" Dom asked, his pain clouded eyes instantly alert.
"He'll be fine." She smiled at him. "He now has a few more pieces of hardware then he did before, but he'll be okay."
"Are you sure?" Dom reached out one hand to cover her hand, looking for reassurance.
She sighed, but continued to smile at him. "He had a slight reaction to the anesthetic, but physically he will be fine. We patched up his arm, set his hand and even sutured his feet. He'll be fine."
"Physically? Reaction?" Dom tried to calm himself and draw a deep breath into his lungs, but his panic and bruised ribs precluded that. Instead he clutched at his chest, tears welling in his eyes as he struggled to cling to his control.
"He woke under anesthetic. I won't lie to you, it wasn't pleasant for him. We had no choice but to finish the operation with him awake. He'll be fine, physically, but I don't think he'll be fond of medical procedures for some time," she explained.
"My poor Billy," Dom whispered tears spilling from his eyes.
"Would you like to see him?" she asked softly "He's out of recovery and in his own room now."
Dom stood so quickly, he swayed visibly, the Doctor reaching up to hold his waist to steady him as he struggled to regain his equilibrium.
"He may not be quite himself, as we have him on a very strong painkiller, so he could be a little disorientated," she explained as she paused outside of a closed door. She gestured at the wads of paper that Dom held in his hand. "Perhaps you'd allow me to have a nurse fill those scripts for you. Your medication might make you feel a little better."
"Thank you." He lifted his hand and offered the papers to her. "I didn't mean to be such a prat in ER," he tried to explain. "We fought, and I was worried about Billy. I'm told I get a little single-minded at those times."
"I'm sure it's nothing they haven't seen before." She placed a hand gently on his shoulder as she looked down and saw his initial on his prescriptions. "You're Dominic, aren't you?"
"Why?" The hair on the back of Dom's neck stood on end as he answered her question with his own.
"Mr. Boyd was quite agitated when he woke. He kept calling for Dominic, and muttering. His accent was quite thick, it may even have been Gaelic he was speaking. I'm sorry, we couldn't understand what he was saying."
"Can I see him?" Dom asked quietly, his eyes once again filled with tears "Please?"
"Of course." The doctor pushed open the door, "He's resting as comfortably as he can. I doubt he's asleep, he sounded quite desperate for you, so I'm sure he'll want to know you're here."
"Thank you, Doctor." He leaned forward to hug her as tightly as his chest would allow. "Thank you for taking care of my Billy."
She hugged him, then pulled back, "Don't thank me yet, he's got a long way to go, and young man," she spoke sternly. "After you've seen your fill of each other and with your permission, I'd like to check you out again."
Dom took a deep breath and stepped through the door, giving the Doctor an almost cheeky grin as he did. As he stepped into the room, his breath left him in a startled gasp. Billy's arm was suspended above him. His torso bare, tubes ran into the back of his left hand that lay beside his body on the blanket. A low blanket covered canopy sat at the foot of the bed shrouding the lower part of Billy's legs.
Dom knew Billy was awake. His small perfect fingers plucked nervously at the knobby blanket under his hand, awake and agitated, even though his eyes remained closed.
"Billy?" he murmured softly. "Billy it's me."
Billy didn't even open his eyes, he just turned his head away from Dom, his accent thick and filled with pain as he spoke to Dom. "Go away, Dom."
"You don't mean that, Billy." Dom spoke softly, moving to the bedside and stroking Billy's arm lightly.
"Like Fuck I don't Dom," he spat. "Look at us. We're killing each other, Dom. We are self destructing, Dommeh. I can't do this anymore." He turned to glare at Dom. His eyes were hard and shining with pain and medication and an anger that Dom had never seen before.
"We were supposed to be together. Friends till the end of the world, Billy." Dom's eye's glistened
"I won't do this anymore. I've had enough. I want out. At the moment, I don't even care if we can stay friends. I. Can't. Do. This. Anymore."
Dom did the only thing his heart would let him. He let his memory drink in one final look at Billy, before he turned and walked out of the room, desperate to get out before he fell to pieces. As the door slammed behind him, his tears began to fall. Loud desperate sobs tore at his heart as he stumbled down the corridor, trying to run away, but restrained by his battered body.
I Can’t Breathe Without You
Author:
sassywitchFandom: LOTRPS
Characters: Monaboyd
Word Count: 3807
Rating: NC-17
Summary: There's only so much one person can take
Disclaimer: Don't own them or they'd be far happier and in closer proximity
Author's Notes: This is a companion peice for Tonight I wanna Cry. Many thanks to the magnificent
dylan_dufresne for giving this a look over for me. Thanks eternally babe. Loosely inspired by the lyrics of the song End of the World by David Campbell. For those interested here's a link to the song. http://s13.yousendit.com/d.aspx?id=1CA4J9PIGWVBP0SAV79OHY9C1LDom sat behind the wheel of his rented car for long minutes, barely able to acknowledge his own existence. He was suddenly cut adrift, lost and being tossed in a stormy sea of desolate anguish. His love for Billy had been a part of his life for so long, that to cut his ties to Billy would kill him.
Starting the car, he cast one final glance at Billy's cozy little house, cataloguing the memories in his distraught mind. The cold air penetrating the car, he shivered, remembering the warm jacket he had left hanging on Billy's coat rack. Spinning the wheel quickly he turned the car in the narrow street and drove away from the one place that had been his haven since New Zealand.
His foot a little too heavy on the pedal, his mind a little too distracted by his pain, his vision clouded with stinging tears, the icy sludge falling and reducing his vision to less than a few feet in front of the car, Dom didn't notice the black ice that marred the road. As the wheels hit the slick surface, their grip on the rough surface of the road was reduced to nothing. Suddenly the car began to spin, pin wheeling across the road, spinning like a Dodgem car after an aggressive hit. Dom's attention suddenly riveted to the car, he struggled against the vehicle, trying to wrest it back onto the course he had intended.
His struggles were in vain. The wheels skated across the ice without an ice dancer's grace, it's compact bulk spinning madly, the snowy hedges and fences of the houses that lined the streets whipping past the windows. The car's twisting descent slowed as the hill began to level. Dom's eyes widened as he followed what he knew would be the car's path. Throwing his arms up over his face, he braced his feet against the floor as he felt its crunching impact. His head was thrown back against the headrest, his neck snapping painfully as the front and side airbags deployed, puffing a white dusty powder throughout the car. The windscreen shattered and snow fell into the now open vehicle as Dom's head dropped forward onto the deflating airbag.
~~~~~
Billy dropped to his knees, lifting his precious photo and pressing it against his chest, almost as if the torn edges of the paper would hold his shattered heart together. Pulling in a deep shuddering breath, he reached a decision in his mind. Pulling himself to his feet, he moved quickly to the door, flinging it open, ready to rush into the snowy night and beg his best friend back into the house, to declare his love for the world to see if they wanted to. He couldn't live without Dom; he really didn't know how he had expected to even try.
As the door bounced against the wall, Billy stopped. The taillights of Dom's car disappeared down the street. Tears overflowed from his sad eyes. Sighing deeply, he turned; he'd missed his chance, sadness overwhelmed his already broken heart. Then he heard it. The screeching of tires, trying to find purchase on slick roads, the sickening thud and crunch of metal meeting an immovable object. The long staccato bleating of the car horn blared through the dark silence of the night.
Billy didn't even stop to think. He knew as clearly as he knew the sun would rise tomorrow that it was Dom. He ran down his front path and pushed through his gate. He didn't feel the icy bite of the snow and ice against his bare feet; he didn't feel the sharp sting of the wind as it whistled through his too light for snowstorms sweater. His one thought was to get to his Dominic.
Running frantically down the hill to the corner of his street, his heart almost stopped as he heard the low keening wail of sirens approaching. Certain that the last words he and Dom had spoken were in anger, Billy's pace increased. Slipping on the icy surface, his arms wind milled wildly as he struggled to remain upright. Losing the battle he hit the ground hard, a sharp pain slicing through his right arm. Laying on his back in the icy sludge for long minutes, he hissed at the pain radiating from his arm and hip, but his determination to get to Dom made him pull himself back to his feet.
At the corner he turned towards the source of the noise and ran as fast as his feet would carry him. Halfway down the hill, his desperation morphed into fear as he caught sight of the car. The small green car was buckled around a tree, the back and front windscreens lying shattered against the car. His pace slowed as suddenly he wasn't sure he wanted to know what had happened. His arms wrapped around his middle, suddenly nauseous as he got closer. Then he saw it. Dom's sweet tousled blonde head.
He could breathe again. Dom was sitting on a gurney in the back of an ambulance. White gauze decorated his forehead and a brace was wrapped around his neck, but he was breathing, and awake. But he was breathing. Billy had been certain he would find Dom's body twisted in the wreckage before he could beg for forgiveness.
Pushing past the people that were standing on the footpath, Billy stepped onto the road and closer to the ambulance.
"Dommeh." He spoke as he reached the back of the ambulance, for the first time noticing the young boy laying in the other gurney, his wrist in an inflatable cast, his eyes wide as he tried to take in everything around him, his own pain forgotten.
"What do you want Billy?" Dom looked up at him his eyes clouded with pain.
"To apologize Dom. I didn't mean to hurt you."
Ignoring Billy's apology Dom spoke quietly. "This is David." Dom gestured to his new friend. "They were around the corner collecting him when I had my….my accident," he finished softly.
"David." Billy smiled at the youngster who waved cheerily at him.
"Excuse me sir." The paramedic spoke to Billy as he closed one door. "I'm afraid you'll need to step aside, you can meet him at the hospital."
"I need to come with you." Billy pleaded. "Please Dommeh, please don't do this."
Dom looked at the paramedic who was watching him closely and shook his head.
"I'm sorry sir; you'll have to meet us at the hospital." The paramedic closed the other door as he spoke.
"Please." Billy spoke softly his accent thick and emotional. "I have to go with him. He needs me."
The paramedic looked closely at the man in front of him. Barefoot and dressed in threadbare jeans and a thin sweater, he was apparently begging for frostbite. "How long have you been outside?" he asked gently reaching out to cup Billy's shoulder.
"I heard Dommeh crash. I ran down here. We had fought. I wanted to apologize, but I thought he was dead."
"You didn't stop for shoes?" He quirked his brow as he asked.
"I couldn't. Dommeh needed me." Billy shrugged, wincing as his shoulder pulled back.
"Listen." The paramedic sighed "It's against regulations and I'll get my arse kicked from here to next year, but the way I see it somebody will just have to come back later to pick you up, too. You can ride in the front with me to the hospital. But when we get there, you're on your own."
Billy nodded sadly as he walked around to the front of the ambulance and climbed into the passenger seat, suddenly feeling weary and every one of his years.
The trip is thankfully short, Billy huddled shivering miserably in the front of the ambulance, sliding out of the seat as it stopped in the emergency bay at the hospital. As Dom's gurney was pulled from the back, he ghosted along the wall of the building, watching but not approaching the one person who could make his entire world right with just one word.
Dom's long lashes lay against his pale cheeks as the gurney was pushed into ER, Billy following as closely behind as he could. At the door to the examination room, Billy started to slip inside the swinging doors when a nurse put a hand gently on his arm to stop his progress. At the light touch of her fingers, an anguished cry was ripped from Billy's lips. The white hot pain stabbing through his arm burned through his entire body, but the epicenter was somewhere in his arm. He couldn't look, he could barely even breath as he fell to his knees, struggling to keep some control.
Curled in on his pain in the doorway, Billy barely even noticed when he was pulled to his feet by an orderly and sat in a wheelchair. As they tried to wheel him from the room, he realized their intentions and struggled to get out of the chair, whimpering as he jostled his arm in the struggle to stay with Dom.
"Please no!! I have to stay with Dommeh. He doesn't realize it but he needs me," Billy spoke desperately. "I need him. Please. Don't take me. Not yet. I need to know he's okay?"
"Billy." Dom's spoke, his voice tired and filled with pain. "I'm not going anywhere. Uou're hurt, let them fix you."
"I'm so sorry, Dommeh. Please Dommeh, I'm so sorry."
"I know Bills. I'll be here when you get back. I'm fine," he murmured. "Don't make me worry about you, Billy."
It was the thought of Dom worrying about him while he was hurting himself that stole the fight from Billy. He wordlessly sat in the wheelchair, answering when he was spoken to, struggling against the waves of pain that washed over him as they clipped the sweater from his arm. Tears of regret welling in pain glazed eyes, that they were destroying a sweater his Dommeh had given him. His arm now almost grotesquely swollen, was rapidly bruising as well. Heavy, blood red and almost black bruising ringed his wrist and halfway up his forearm. Even he could see it was broken, either that, or he'd grown a second elbow in the middle of his forearm.
The fingers of his left hand played with the frayed ends of wool at the cut edge of his sleeve as he fondly remembered unwrapping this sweater last year in Hawaii and realizing the trouble Dom had gone to to find him a sweater in his tropical paradise. Not just any sweater either, it was almost the same color as Dom's eyes, reminding Billy of his best mate every time he looked at it. Now, in the space of one night, he had lost two of the most precious pieces of Dom that he kept close to his heart. He wouldn't lose the most important thing. He couldn't. Without that he would surely die.
~~~~~~
Dom laid on the gurney in the examination room, submitting to the pokes and prods of the hospital staff. The whole time he was worried about Billy. The cry that had brought Billy to his knees had chilled his blood. Something was seriously wrong with his wee Scot and he had been so wrapped up in his own misery that he hadn't noticed.
Finally allowed to sit upright again, his body a mass of aches and the beginnings of painful bruises, Dom turned sad eyes on the delicate, tiny blonde nurse that reminded him so much of a cast mate.
"Please." He murmured "Can you find out what is wrong with my friend?" he asked.
The young woman looked into his face and smiled warmly. "If you promise me you'll stay here until I get back, sure."
"If you can find out about him, I promise I won't move a muscle." Dom smiled weakly back.
"Then I'll be right back." She said, and walked out of the room.
Dom sat on the edge of the gurney, cataloguing his aches and pains, thinking for the hundredth time how lucky he had been in his accident. He had a pain in his head like his skull had been cleaved by an Orc blade, but really he didn't feel too bad. Having seen the passenger side of the car, he was convinced that if the drivers side had have been the one to take the impact, he may not be here now.
His long fingers were picking at the jagged tear in the knee of his jeans, his fingernails scraping at the blood encrusted edges of the fabric when the nurse walked back in.
"How is he?" Dom asked quickly.
"He should be alright." She smiled, her smile not quite meeting her eyes.
"Should?" Dom frowned.
"He has a very bad break in his arm, fractured both the ulna and radius badly, and a couple of metacarpals, all in his right arm. Cracked a couple of ribs and the soles of his feet are badly sliced up. As soon as he comes out of surgery, you'll be able to see him."
"Surgery?" Dom' s face whipped up to look into her eyes, his own face a mask of desperation.
"To fix his arm. I'm not sure what they're doing. Probably screwing the bones together, I'm really not sure, the break was bad."
"Please." Dom slid off the edge of the gurney and landed unsteadily on his feet. "I need to see him, please?"
"He's in surgery at the moment," she soothed him "And you are supposed to be moving to a ward for overnight observation."
"I'll sign myself out." He shrugged painfully. "Please, I need to be there for Billy, he's all alone."
"If you let them take you to a ward and you try to relax, I'll make sure you're kept informed and I'm sure we can arrange for you to be put in the same room."
"I'm okay." Dom took a deep breath and steadied himself "Please, I'm really okay. I don't need observation. What I need is my Billy and to know that he's okay. He hates hospitals; he's alone and worried about me. It's all my fault. I was the one running away. I need to be there for him. Please?"
"What you need to do," she stated, cupping his chin with one hand. Dhe turned his face so he was looking into her eyes. "Is calm down. Upsetting yourself will not help him."
"I wouldn't be upsetting myself if you'd just let me see him," Dom pleaded with her.
"I'm sorry." She shook her head, "Once we get you settled into your room then we'll talk about it again."
"No we won't," Dom growled. "I'm not going to a room. I'm going to Billy, and I want my release papers…now."
"I'd advice against that, Mr. Monaghan." She tried to calm him.
"I'll still be in your fucking hospital," he growled pulling himself to his full height, his shoulders squared waiting for a fight. "Just get me my discharge papers, so I can find Billy."
She watched him for a few seconds and sighed before turning and walking out of the room. Unwilling to wait for her return Dom followed her slowly, the stitches across his knee pulling as he walked stiff legged from the room. His bruised ribs ached even as he stood tall and straight, trying to ease the pressure on them. His head still pounded, but none of his physical injuries hurt nearly as much as the hollow ache in his broken heart.
Signing the papers the now tightlipped nurse pushed at him, he took a copy of them and the prescriptions that she proffered. Before he could ask, she directed him towards the surgical floor and he shuffled his way to the elevator. As he stood in the tiny metal cubicle, waiting for it to take him closer to Billy, he leaned against the wall and closed his eyes. He really felt like absolute shite, but there was no way he was closing his eyes until he made sure Billy was okay. It was his fault Billy was hurt. If he hadn't pushed the issue, they would both be asleep in Billy's cozy living room. But they weren't, he sighed as the elevator jerked to a halt, eliciting a moan of pain from Dom's lips as his bruised ribs protested.
Pausing long enough to tell the nurse at the nurse's station that he was here for Billy, he shuffled his way along the hall to the waiting room she directed him to. The hallway was like a tunnel that never ended. The further he walked, the longer it seemed to get. When he finally reached the sofa, he sank into its plush welcoming embrace. Lying across the seat, his legs looped over the arm of the sofa, and the pressure was finally lifted from his aching chest. Having reached his destination, he gave into the need to close his eyes just for a few minutes.
Brushing his hand against the hand on his shoulder he mumbled happily in his sleep. "Bills, fuck off. I'm tired."
"Mr. Monaghan." A voice sounded quietly in his ear. His confused mind sorted through his memories, and as he tried to roll towards the voice, his bruised chest protested painfully. Memories of this day came flooding back. Drawing in a deep breath, he swung his legs around and gingerly lifted himself to a seated position before he opened his eyes.
A weary doctor, her scrubs bearing the bloody splatters of a surgeon sat on the edge of the coffee table in front of him, her arms resting lightly on her knees as she watched him.
"Billy?" Dom asked, his pain clouded eyes instantly alert.
"He'll be fine." She smiled at him. "He now has a few more pieces of hardware then he did before, but he'll be okay."
"Are you sure?" Dom reached out one hand to cover her hand, looking for reassurance.
She sighed, but continued to smile at him. "He had a slight reaction to the anesthetic, but physically he will be fine. We patched up his arm, set his hand and even sutured his feet. He'll be fine."
"Physically? Reaction?" Dom tried to calm himself and draw a deep breath into his lungs, but his panic and bruised ribs precluded that. Instead he clutched at his chest, tears welling in his eyes as he struggled to cling to his control.
"He woke under anesthetic. I won't lie to you, it wasn't pleasant for him. We had no choice but to finish the operation with him awake. He'll be fine, physically, but I don't think he'll be fond of medical procedures for some time," she explained.
"My poor Billy," Dom whispered tears spilling from his eyes.
"Would you like to see him?" she asked softly "He's out of recovery and in his own room now."
Dom stood so quickly, he swayed visibly, the Doctor reaching up to hold his waist to steady him as he struggled to regain his equilibrium.
"He may not be quite himself, as we have him on a very strong painkiller, so he could be a little disorientated," she explained as she paused outside of a closed door. She gestured at the wads of paper that Dom held in his hand. "Perhaps you'd allow me to have a nurse fill those scripts for you. Your medication might make you feel a little better."
"Thank you." He lifted his hand and offered the papers to her. "I didn't mean to be such a prat in ER," he tried to explain. "We fought, and I was worried about Billy. I'm told I get a little single-minded at those times."
"I'm sure it's nothing they haven't seen before." She placed a hand gently on his shoulder as she looked down and saw his initial on his prescriptions. "You're Dominic, aren't you?"
"Why?" The hair on the back of Dom's neck stood on end as he answered her question with his own.
"Mr. Boyd was quite agitated when he woke. He kept calling for Dominic, and muttering. His accent was quite thick, it may even have been Gaelic he was speaking. I'm sorry, we couldn't understand what he was saying."
"Can I see him?" Dom asked quietly, his eyes once again filled with tears "Please?"
"Of course." The doctor pushed open the door, "He's resting as comfortably as he can. I doubt he's asleep, he sounded quite desperate for you, so I'm sure he'll want to know you're here."
"Thank you, Doctor." He leaned forward to hug her as tightly as his chest would allow. "Thank you for taking care of my Billy."
She hugged him, then pulled back, "Don't thank me yet, he's got a long way to go, and young man," she spoke sternly. "After you've seen your fill of each other and with your permission, I'd like to check you out again."
Dom took a deep breath and stepped through the door, giving the Doctor an almost cheeky grin as he did. As he stepped into the room, his breath left him in a startled gasp. Billy's arm was suspended above him. His torso bare, tubes ran into the back of his left hand that lay beside his body on the blanket. A low blanket covered canopy sat at the foot of the bed shrouding the lower part of Billy's legs.
Dom knew Billy was awake. His small perfect fingers plucked nervously at the knobby blanket under his hand, awake and agitated, even though his eyes remained closed.
"Billy?" he murmured softly. "Billy it's me."
Billy didn't even open his eyes, he just turned his head away from Dom, his accent thick and filled with pain as he spoke to Dom. "Go away, Dom."
"You don't mean that, Billy." Dom spoke softly, moving to the bedside and stroking Billy's arm lightly.
"Like Fuck I don't Dom," he spat. "Look at us. We're killing each other, Dom. We are self destructing, Dommeh. I can't do this anymore." He turned to glare at Dom. His eyes were hard and shining with pain and medication and an anger that Dom had never seen before.
"We were supposed to be together. Friends till the end of the world, Billy." Dom's eye's glistened
"I won't do this anymore. I've had enough. I want out. At the moment, I don't even care if we can stay friends. I. Can't. Do. This. Anymore."
Dom did the only thing his heart would let him. He let his memory drink in one final look at Billy, before he turned and walked out of the room, desperate to get out before he fell to pieces. As the door slammed behind him, his tears began to fall. Loud desperate sobs tore at his heart as he stumbled down the corridor, trying to run away, but restrained by his battered body.
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*dies from angst OD*
is it break surr day? and if so... why didn't anyone tell me?
lovely but that hurt.
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I think tommorrow might be break surr day cos things are only going to get worse afore they get better.
Glad you like it honey but sorry I hurt you.
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Sorry for making you cry sweetie, but things will only get worse before they get better.
Glad you're enjoying it.
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Glad you're still enjoying hon.
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I will definitely be looking forward to more of this and hope that they fix themselves. ♥
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