monaboyd | The Beginning of Us

Title: The Beginning of Us - 17/25
Author:

dylan_dufresne
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: Hard R
Summary: Part 17. A difficult conversation and an unexpected gift helps to bring the lovers closer.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated. Many, many thanks to

frojane and

uisinger for their faboo beta skills.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. *sigh* Damn.
Previous Parts: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16
A/N: Warning of angst. Next part will be posted on Monday.

Part 17 - Intimate

Each day is another chance to stretch your limits and expand your horizons.

Nearly vibrating with need, Dom brings the phone to his ear as he wriggles into a comfortable position, sprawled naked on the bed, as promised.

“Hey Bills.”

“Hey,” Billy replies wearily, unable to completely suppress a sigh.

“What’s the matter, baby?” Dom asks, the mood all but shattered.

“Nothing,” Billy says noncommittally. “Just thinking.”

Rolling onto his stomach and cushioning himself on Billy’s pillow, Dom frowns in thought. “About what?”

“Stuff.”

“Bills-” The warning in Dom’s voice is unmistakable. “Talk to me. What’s going on?”

Giving in, Billy sighs. “I was thinking about our first time with the cuffs.”

“You mean the morning after,” Dom replies wisely, recognizing the familiar, guilty tone in Billy’s voice.

“Yeah.”

“Baby-”

“I can’t help it, Dommie,” Billy interrupts. “At the airport you gave me your cuff and I can’t just forget-”

“Don’t you dare apologize again, Bills. I thought we were past this,” Dom says, his stomach twisting at the thought of Billy in pain and so far away. “I never would’ve given you the cuff if I’d known that it would make you feel bad. That was never my intention, baby. I love how you make me feel when I’m wearing them and we’re together. That’s why I gave it to you, not because-”

“I hurt you, Dommie,” Billy whispers, breath hitching as the painful memories wash over him. “You gave me your trust and I caused you pain. That’s not the kind of thing you just forget.”

“Bills, are you in bed?” Dom asks, an idea forming in his head.

“Yeah. Why?”

“Get comfortable,” Dom instructs firmly. “I’m going to tell you a story.”

“Dommie-”

“Bills, shut it.” Softening, Dom adds, “You always take care of me when I can’t do it myself. Well, now it’s my turn. Let me take care of you tonight. Let me tell how I remember that day. Please?”

“Like I could ever say no to you,” Billy replies tenderly, yet resigned. “My beautiful Dommie.”

“Well, you’re right about that,” Dom remarks thoughtfully.

“What?”

“I am yours. Only yours. I’m your Dommie,” Dom says, aching to reach through the phone and cuddle Billy in his arms.

“Love-”

“Shhh. Just listen.”

“Okay,” Billy says. “I’m listening.”

“I was laying in your arms, and you kissed me awake, for the very first time,” Dom begins gently, his voice soft and comforting. “I really miss that, since you’ve been gone, by the way. I miss waking up with your lips on my neck and your hands on my body, rubbing my belly. Touching me.”

“Me too,” Billy says wistfully. “I love making love with you when you’re all warm, cuddly and sleepy. And I love watching your eyes when you wake up with me inside you.”

“You’re changing the subject,” Dom teases fondly. “And trying to distract me.”

“Sorry.”

“You were nibbling on my neck, licking me, teasing me, daring me to open my eyes,” Dom says, resuming the story. “I wanted to wrap my arms around you, but I couldn’t because my left wrist was still strapped to the headboard. I guess we fell asleep before I could ask you to untie me.”

“You felt so incredible, curled up against me,” Billy says with a soft sigh. “Warm and soft. I remember that you smelled like leather and sex, and that your eyeliner was all smudged. Your eyelashes were so long and dark, Dommie, so pretty on your cheeks.”

“I opened my mouth and licked your neck,” Dom recalls. “It was salty from your sweat, and a wee bit tangy. When I opened my eyes, you took my breath away. The way you were looking at me. It was like nothing I’d ever felt before.”

“I kissed you,” Billy says softly. “Couldn’t stop kissing you.”

“I wanted you closer to me,” Dom says, eyes fluttering closed for a moment. “I wanted to hold you. Feel you inside me again.”

“I know.”

“I must have said something, because you pulled back, just enough to unstrap me. Then I was in your arms and we were kissing. I remember nibbling on your tongue and realizing that it tasted like me. God, Bills, you still had the taste of me in your mouth.”

Pausing to take a breath, Dom then continues, praying that he’ll find the right words to bring Billy comfort.

“Your hands were all over me,” he says. “The more you touched me, the more I wanted; the more you kissed me, the more I ached for you. I was so hard and I wanted you inside me, so much. When you rolled me onto my back and pushed my legs open I wanted to cry with relief. I love having you inside me, Bills. Making love to me.”

“And then I shoved my fingers inside you,” Billy interjects sharply, remembering all too well the way Dom’s body had stiffened, long fingers tightening on his shoulders as a loud, panicked yelp filled the air, followed by a strangled cry. Despite his best efforts, the noises had escaped Dom’s lips. They were the unmistakable sounds of pain. Dom had bit down on his lower lip, eyes closed as he struggled to control himself.

“Bills-”

“And then I saw the bruises,” Billy whimpers, curling into a tight ball, phone still pressed to his ear. “On your wrists, your arms, and your hips. All over your beautiful, sweet skin, Dommie. You were black and blue from where I held you down. Hurt you.”

“Baby, stop,” Dom begs.

“The toys and the games. All of it. It was supposed to make the sex even better, for both of us, but instead I strapped you down and fucked you like an animal,” Billy presses on, barely hearing Dom. “You were helpless, completely vulnerable, and I hurt you. I lost control and just took what I wanted. It was like I w-”

“You’re hurting me now,” Dom says softly, his voice cracking.

Finally, Billy stops, his breath catching. “What?”

“I can hear the pain in your voice,” Dom says gently. “When you hurt, I hurt. I feel it, baby, deep down. Please, let me tell you what I remember. Please, Bills.”

“Alright,” Billy agrees hesitantly.

“Yes, I admit, it hurt a bit,” Dom says reluctantly, knowing that he has to be honest if he’s going to help Billy. “But did I pull away from you? Did I try and get out of bed? Did I try to leave? Tell you not to touch me?”

“No,” Billy whispers.

“Did I try to get away from you? Was I angry or scared of you?”

“No.”

“No,” Dom repeats. “And do you know why? Because I knew that you never meant to hurt me. Never. I saw how upset you were. I could feel it.”

“I’m so sorry, Dommie,” Billy says, smothering a whimper.

“I know, baby. It’s alright,” Dom soothes. “You need to let go of this. It was a long time ago and we got past it, yeah?”

“Yeah,” Billy admits.

“I want you to listen to me, Bills. I want you to remember everything I’m about to say, because it’s important,” Dom instructs firmly, yet gently. “I remember that day, too, but not because of that moment. I remember what you did after that, and the way you looked at me.”

“Tell me,” Billy requests in a soft, wavering voice.

“You started to pull away and I could see the guilt in your eyes,” Dom says tenderly. “I could feel it, baby. It looked like you were about to cry, you looked so sad. I’d never seen you that way, not in all the time I’d known you. I felt your fingers on my chest, sliding away, and the thought of you not touching me, ever again-”

Breaking off, Dom takes a deep breath before continuing. “I wrapped my arms around you and pulled you against me, as hard as I could, because you were struggling, trying so hard to get away from me. I kissed your neck, your cheeks and finally your lips, over and over, until you stopped fighting me. Then I realized you were shaking. God, you were shaking so bad, baby.”

“You told me you wanted me to hold you,” Billy whispers. “But I was afraid, so afraid that I’d hurt you again. I wouldn’t be able to live with myself if I hurt you again.”

“You held me in your arms, your touch so soft and warm that it felt like I was wrapped up in the clouds,” Dom tells him, his voice gentle and soothing. “I touched your face, kissed your cheek and asked you to kiss me, like you did that day in the trailer. Our first kiss.”

“I think we kissed for hours that day,” Dom murmurs softly, losing himself in the pleasant memory for a few moments. “Loved your tongue, your mouth, Bills. Loved how you kept kissing me. The bed was so warm and comfortable, and you felt so good, wrapped around me. I asked you not to let me go, and you didn’t. You never left my side, baby, not for one second.”

Sighing, Billy remembers how they’d spent the rest of the day in bed, talking, kissing, and cuddling. Because of the damage caused the previous night, Dom was in no condition to make love, but he wanted Billy close, as close as they could possibly be. That is what Dom got; all the nibbling kisses, tender caresses, soft touches, loving words and soothing comfort he could possibly want. Billy denied Dom absolutely nothing that day, wanting to make his lover as comfortable as possible, to help ease his own, overwhelming guilt, and hope with his whole heart that Dom didn’t change his mind and push him away.

“I remember that my cheek was resting against your chest as you petted my hair, and we made a promise to each other, right then, didn’t we?” Dom asks. “No more playing rough in bed.”

“Pleasure, no pain,” Billy breathes. “Never, ever pain. Never again.”

“And we’ve never had to use the safe word, have we, baby?” Dom prods gently, knowing that he’s finally getting through to his lover. “Not once, in all these years. You’ve been so careful with me ever since, Bills. It’s always incredible, making love with you. Every single time.”

It was nearly three months before they tried the cuffs again, but everything else was thrown away that day. Dom insisted that the cuffs stay, using everything he had to convince Billy that they could use them without hurting Dom. In the end, Dom was right, and there had been many incredible nights since with the cuffs, Billy learning quickly to read his lover to know when Dom wanted Billy to use them on him. The intimate, intense pleasure shared during those nights are responsible for many wonderful memories.

“I feel safe and loved when I’m with you, baby. I trust you to touch me and bring me to places so wonderful they can’t be described.” Swallowing hard, Dom pauses as he finds the words to bring Billy some peace. “You told me once that you hated how it made you feel when I said that I didn’t deserve you. Do you remember that?”

“On the beach,” Billy replies softly. “After we went surfing.”

“Yes. And I promised you that I would never say that or even think it, ever again. I want you to promise me that you’ll never, ever do this to yourself,” Dom requests. “No more thinking that you’re a horrible person, undeserving of forgiveness. You’re not bad, baby. I need you, I trust you, and I don’t want anyone but you. Are you hearing me?”

“I love you, Dommie,” Billy whispers. “I don’t know what I’d do if I didn’t have you.”

“Well, you’re lucky, because you’ll never have to find out, love. I’m yours and you’re mine,” Dom replies tenderly. “And I love you, too.”

“Dommie-”

“If you really don’t want to wear the cuff, I understand. You can take it off,” Dom tells him softly. “It’s okay. We can work on it. Together.”

“No,” Billy says thoughtfully after taking a long, quiet moment. “I think I’ll be okay with it now.”

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah.”

“Okay. So will you do it, Bills?” Dom asks. “Will you promise me that you won’t punish yourself about this anymore?”

“I promise,” Billy vows solemnly. “No more.”

“Good.”

“I miss you, Dommie.”

Dom sighs heavily, the familiar ache spreading through his chest and through his long limbs. “I miss you, too. So fucking much.”

“Bed feels empty without you,” Billy says quietly. “It’s hard when I wake up in the middle of the night and want to hold you. Want to touch you.”

“Next time you do, call me.”

“Are you alright, love?” Billy asks, catching the vulnerable tone in his lover’s voice. “Are you sleeping okay? Things okay on set?”

“It’s so hard, being here without you, Bills,” Dom admits. “It hurts. I always feel better when I hear your voice.”

“I’m sorry, love.”

“And I miss you, too,” Dom tells him in a soft voice. “So, day or night, call me, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

* * *

Billy gets home well before sunset on Valentine’s Day because the director of the play lets them go early as most of the people at the theatre have plans for the evening. He tries not to be bitter, knowing that he and Dom won’t be spending the romantic day together, kissing, cuddling and making love. They haven’t seen each other in nearly a month, with no end of the separation in sight. It feels much longer, and the heavy ache in his chest isn’t getting any easier to bear.

It’s only when he’s opening his front door that he looks down and spots the small, padded envelope nestled in with the letters, flyers and bills that were pushed through his mail slot. Nudging the door closed behind him, Billy tosses the rest of the mail on the coffee table and focuses on the package when he recognizes the writing on the address label. Black sharpie. Dom.

Grabbing up the cordless phone, Billy presses the speed dial number for his lover’s mobile before wedging it between his ear and shoulder. He’s still fighting his way into the ridiculously and unusually well-taped package when Dom answers.

“Hey baby,” Dom says warmly. “I was just about to call you.”

“Dommie, what did you send me?” Billy asks with a grunt, finally tearing open the end of the puffy envelope and peering inside.

“It’s a Valentine’s present, you silly wee cunt,” Dom replies fondly. “Hearts. Candy. Balloons. Flowers. Sound familiar?”

“Yeah,” Billy replies with a sigh, unable to fake a good mood, even for Dom’s benefit.

“Hold on a second, Bills.”

There is a muffled conversation with someone while the phone is pressed to Dom’s chest, but less than a minute later he returns, the background noise significantly reduced.

“Are you on set?” Billy asks.

“We’re between scenes,” Dom explains. “They just started setting up for the next shot. It’s a good time to talk.”

“Oh, good.” Billy is relieved that they’ll be able to talk for a while as he’s missing Dom’s voice a lot today. He’s also missing the warm softness of his lover’s tanned skin, long limbs wrapped around him, naked and spent. It’s the most romantic day of the year, and all he has to look forward to is a wank in the shower and cuddling up with a t-shirt that unfortunately no longer carries Dom’s lovely, tantalizing scent.

“So, did you open it?” Dom asks tentatively.

Tipping the envelope, Bill stares at the square, clear plastic case that slides out of the padded mailer.

“Just now, love.” Arching an eyebrow as he looks at the item, Billy says, “You sent me some music?”

“No. It’s a dvd.”

“You sent me a movie?” Billy asks incredulously.

“Sort of,” Dom replies enigmatically. “Put it in the machine.”

Mildly suspicious and uncertain, Billy asks, “What’s on it?”

“Press play and find out,” Dom says stubbornly, refusing to divulge more.

Shrugging, Billy obediently loads the unlabeled disc into the dvd player and then settles into the couch, the phone still pressed to his ear. Picking up the remote from the cluttered coffee table, Billy flips on the television and waits for the dvd to begin.

“Dommie, what is this?” he asks again.

“You said you wished you had a camera to capture the moment,” Dom says in a low, intimate voice, thick with arousal. “That day in the trailer.”

“You don’t mean-”

Billy loses his train of thought when the dvd player finally begins to play Dom’s gift. Lust overwhelms his senses at the sight before him and speech is not possible. Smokey, hypnotic eyes, lined in black charcoal fill Billy’s vision, a fine sheen making his lover’s smooth, tanned skin shimmer deliciously. It looks as if Dom just got out of the shower, his blonde hair still damp and tousled about in a careless, chaotic mess that is unbearably, undeniably, and achingly arousing.

Sprawled naked on their bed in Hawaii, firm thighs parted wide, Dom stares unrelenting into the camera as he slowly slides a hand down his taut belly and wraps his long, slender fingers around his rapidly hardening cock. Tongue slowly tracing the soft circle of his mouth, Dom wets his lips and smiles.

“Billy,” he says in a low, sexy rumble, head falling back against the pillow, his expressive blue-grey eyes drunk with arousal and naked, uninhibited desire. “I want you to watch me, baby.”

“Oh holy fuck,” Billy gasps, instantly hard, nearly to the point of pain. “Dommie-”

“Keep watching,” Dom whispers in his ear. “It gets better.”

Eyes wide, Billy watches helplessly as Dom begins to stroke himself off, eyes never looking away, his chest beginning to heave as his breath grows heavier. Fingers of his other hand dancing over the weeping tip of his cock, Dom moans as he tastes his salty precome on his fingertips, his obscenely long tongue swirling around the slender digits and sucking on them briefly.

“Can you taste me, baby?” Dom asks the camera, head lolling to one side, tendons in his neck straining. “Are you touching yourself yet?”

“Yes,” Billy replies in a strangled whisper, hand rubbing desperately against the hard ridge in his trousers.

“You better unzip, love,” Dom murmurs in his ear. “Unless you want to cream your pants.”

Dropping the remote control to the floor without a second thought, Billy tears open the fly, leaning back against the couch and raising his hips just enough to shove both his trousers and boxers down his narrow hips to his thighs. When his fingers wrap around the sensitive, swollen flesh, he doesn’t even try to hold back the loud groan of pleasure.

“Better?” Dom asks, nearly purring at the sinfully erotic sounds tumbling recklessly from Billy’s mouth.

Continuing to stroke himself in a steady, even rhythm, Dom’s other hand slides behind his balls, two spit slick fingers pressing between his soft cheeks to tease at his tight entrance.

“Oh Christ, Dommie,” Billy whimpers. “Are you trying to kill me?”

“Keep watching,” Dom requests in a low voice. “Let me hear you, baby. I want to hear you.”

Billy’s lusty moans of passion are joined by the ones coming from the visual of Dom, now plunging his long, elegant fingers into his body while sliding his other hand up and down his stiff cock, lean hips thrusting desperately. Billy’s name falls endlessly from his wet lips, shamelessly begging for his lover’s touch.

“Want you to take me, Bills,” he pants breathlessly, sweat forming on his forehead and upper lip. “I can feel your hands on me and your gorgeous cock inside me. Oh, you’re so good to me, Bills. Want you so much.”

“Talk to me,” Dom whispers in Billy’s ear. “Tell me how you’re touching yourself. I want to hear you, baby.”

“I’m so hard, Dommie,” Billy manages to reply as he pumps his cock into his tight fist. “Need to come. Oh fuck, you’re so beautiful, love. So fucking beautiful. Want you so much.”

Writhing on the bed, Dom shoves his long fingers in and out of his tight entrance faster and faster, hips thrusting wildly and moaning Billy’s name, breath ragged and chest heaving. Eyes never straying from the camera, they smolder intensely as the image of Dom pleasuring himself to the thoughts of his lover sear a permanent mark on Billy’s memory.

Body vibrating and shaking so hard Billy wonders if he just might explode, he increases the speed of his thrusts, the need for release now urgently pressing low in his belly.

“Dommie,” he groans. “I can’t-”

“Come for me love,” Dom requests in a low, sensual voice, causing goose bumps to form and make Billy shiver. “Let me hear you.”

With a guttural groan, Billy lets himself go, panting his lover’s name as warm, glittering fluid spurts from his rigid cock and coats the warm skin of his firm belly. Watching the television screen through half-lidded eyes, Billy watches his lover’s equally passionate, overwhelming climax, his come coating his own hand and stomach in pale streaks. Dom sighs Billy’s name one last time as his limbs drop heavily to the mattress, boneless and utterly spent.

“Happy Valentine’s Day, baby,” Dom says to the camera, one arm flung above his head, eyes sleepy and spent. “I love you.”

“Jaysus Christ, Dommie,” Billy pants a minute later when the screen goes dark and he can speak, hand splayed over his heart, feeling the pounding beneath. “I can’t believe you did that.”

“Just make sure you keep it in a safe place, yeah?” Dom requests quietly, just a touch teasingly. “I don’t fancy that getting out onto the internet.”

“No shite.” Shifting on the couch, Billy groans. “Oh, Dommie. That was so fucking beautiful. And I think I pulled something.”

“Aww, I’m sorry, Bills.”

“Don’t be,” Billy replies, soft and tender. “I wouldn’t trade that visual for anything. That was amazing, baby. I love watching you come.”

“I know,” Dom replies wisely. “It’s the only thing I could think of to give the bloke who has everything.”

Billy laughs lightly and then becomes serious. “Miss you, Dommie.”

“Miss you, too,” Dom says with a sigh. “I love the flowers you sent, by the way. They’re gorgeous. Everyone here is quite jealous of them.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t get you something better, love,” Billy says apologetically. “It’s nothing compared to what you just gave me.”

“Oh, I got what I wanted,” Dom says intimately, a smile turning up the corners of his mouth. “I wanted to hear you come while watching me. I love it when you watch me.”

“Romantic bastard.”

“You love it,” Dom fires back, gently and warmly.

“Yeah, I do.”

Billy is quiet for a long moment, but the silence is comfortable, not strained or awkward.

“I love you, Dommie. So much.”

“I know,” Dom replies softly. “I love you, too.”

“Wish I could kiss you,” Billy murmurs wistfully. “Taste you. Touch you.”

Dom sighs. “Me too.”

* * *

18-Decision

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Date: 2005-08-05 07:31 pm (UTC)

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