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monaboyd May. 28th, 2005 09:22 pm)Title
: What a coincidenceAuthor
: Nat (msmollusk)Pairing
: Billy/Dom (well duh)Rating
: pg naughty languageDisclaimer
: I don’t know ‘em, never met ‘em, etc.Summary
: Short dialogue fic. A no-brainer. They both find out some interesting facts about each other. Hehe, exactly 666 words… what a coincidence.
A/N
: I realise the bit about Viggo and the dildo was very similar to another recent fic but this just didn’t seem to work with anyone else. So apologies J .‘Billy?’
‘What Dom?’
‘Is this, is this a dildo in your bathroom?’
‘Oh shit. Yes it is Dom, very observant of you.’
‘Um Billy?’
*sigh* ‘Yes Dom?’
‘Why do you have a dildo in your bathroom?’
‘Do you mean “why do I have a dildo?” or “why is it in my bathroom?”’
‘Both I guess, but now you mention it the first one will probably suffice.’
‘Well, I have a dildo because… fuck… Viggo gave it to me… for my… birthday. Fuck, brilliant save Boyd.’
‘…’
‘And it’s in my bathroom because I was cleaning it.’
‘…’
‘Cleaning the bathroom not the dildo’
‘Oh, ok.’
‘…’
‘Um Billy? Why did Viggo give you a dil-?’
‘BECAUSE WE LIKE TO FUCK OCCASIONALLY AND OUR FILMING SCHEDULES DON’T ALWAYS COINCIDE, SO WHEN HE’S NOT HERE TO SHOVE HIS COCK UP MY ARSE I JUST USE THE GODDAMN DILDO!’
‘-do.’
‘Happy now? fuck Dom, what’s with the third degree? It’s just a dildo for crying out loud.’
‘Oh, you… you were serious? Uh, why didn’t you tell me you’re gay Billy?’
*sigh* ‘Bisexual actually, I guess I didn’t say anything because you’re straight. Most straight mates of mine never treated me the same once they found out. And I know you’re different, but I just didn’t want to risk our friendship.’
‘oh’
‘See? You already can’t handle it. I should’ve kept the bloody thing hidden.’
‘No Billy, it’s not that, it’s… well… I’m not actually completely straight either.’
‘What? But you’re always going on about how many birds you pulled in recent months and what about that stack of “Jugs” magazines I found under your bed that time?’
‘Hello, earth to Bills? Anybody home?’
‘Ow! Feckin’ stop hitting my head!’
‘You do realise that those are the same things you’ve been saying as well, don’t you? And as for the mags, you just didn’t know where to look for the copies of “Kilt Kink Fetishes for the Gay Man Monthly” did you?’
‘So you’re bi as well? You’ve got to be kidding me. Hang on… “Kilt Kink What?”.’
‘Uh yeah. Well you will keep wearing those bloody kilts.’
‘Well, this is, ah, rather interesting. Wouldn’t you agree?’
‘Oh definitely. Billy, can I ask you a question?’
‘Now you ask if you can ask a question?’
‘Yep, now get over Bills and answer me this: Are you in love with Viggo? Or is he with you?’
‘Nooo. Like I said before we just shag sometimes, well quite a lot when we can get some spare time, but that’s all it is, a shag.’
‘And he doesn’t love you?’
‘Nope, I told him from day one, I cannot ever love you Viggo, for my heart belongs to another.’
‘You didn’t use that god-awful English accent when you said that did you?’
‘Of course I did.’
‘So… who is this mysterious person whom your heart does belong to?’
‘Well lets see… He’s one of those poor sods that you think “great body, shame about the face”, he’s got one hell of an attitude problem and he likes to lead people to believe he’s actually straight, when he’s as crooked as a dogs’ hind leg.’
‘Sounds like a an absolute fucking champion if you ask me.’
‘Good thing I didn’t ask then isn’t it?’
‘It is. So should I be jealous? I don’t think so since I have it on good authority that this bloke’s got it hard - no pun intended - for his best mate.’
‘Well then, I don’t think there’s any reason to be jealous if that seems to be the case.’
‘Mm, agreed.’
‘My turn to ask you a question now.’
‘Shoot.’
‘So, hows about a root then?’
‘Now how could a bloke say no to that?’
‘Mmm.’
‘…’
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Thank you! This sat in Word for about a week and a half before I remembered to finish it. *kicks bunny across room*
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ps *big sloppy kiss*
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*LOL*!!!!!!!!!! Loved this - thank you!
(but is there a "Kilt Kink Fetishes for the Slash-Loving Woman Monthly", too???) *G*
And... where in heaven's name did you get your lj-name from, m'dear? *S*
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There damn well should be a mag like that, I'd totally subscribe ;-)
lol. All the good LJ names were taken (I would've chosen Sarcasmo) and I was listening to a Ween song called The Mollusk at the time, so... :D
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It sure is and I drew it, but I'm hopeless with colours...
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(birder??? isn't that ornithologist?)
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*ggl* at your icon.....
"The nose flute is a very difficult instrument to play" *L*!
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So if I study slash... and by study I mean read copious amounts of... does that make me a slashologist? Fuck and I already picked a LJ name!
Ah icon make-age (it's a word!) makes my day.
"O, o... What's that word?"
"I!"
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haha so funny!
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