monaboyd | (no subject)

Title: Sessions – Chapter three
Author: Rposie
Pairing: Billy/Dom
Rating: PG-13 this chapter, Other ratings later
Warning: Angsty
Disclaimer: Consignment of geriatric shoemenders.
Summary: Dom is sent to a psychiatrist to save his job

“We were never apart after that. Well, you know. We were apart physically, when one of us had to film somewhere the other didn’t. But we were “together” always. It’s funny to think about it now. We hardly ever talked about it. We went from best friends to married in one night. In one kiss really.

We stayed mostly at his place. He said he’d be afeart for his life sleeping in my bed, lest the various funguses…fungi….whatever in my house met up in the night, staged a revolt and murdered him in his sleep. I didn’t mind. Billy’s place was nicer than mine. Billy was the grown up. I was the kid. Well we were both kids really – a pair of five year olds in adult bodies. But Billy’s adult..ery – okay that wasn’t what I meant – ummmmm adultness, adulthood….. Yeah, Billy was more grown up than me. He knew about stuff like fabric softener and dusting and cleaning the bog. Well I knew about it. I just didn’t really give a rat’s. He did though. It was nice, that house. A real home. You’d come home in the afternoon, and it smelled of apples. He had this clock and I’d sit in the lounge listening to the silence and the ticking, and watching the dust floating ‘round in the sunshine coming in the windows. When I want peace, I think about that.

We balanced each other though. He made me responsible. I did things like pay the power bill and unload the dishwasher and fold the laundry. I even cooked. We had real meals, like. Ones that weren’t delivered, and didn’t come in a box. Domestic bliss. We even kind of stole the neighbour’s cat. She was fat and splodgy. We called her Harley ‘cause she purred like a motorbike. In the winter, I used to fight with her over who got the electric blanket. I mostly let her win. Sometimes not though, ‘cause then she’d jump down from the bed and stump off under the TV cabinet with her ears back, and glare at me. I had a photo of that once. I miss that cat. Even if she did eat the Daddy-Long-legses living in the bathroom.

I could still make Billy be irresponsible though. Yeah. Yeah. Once, we were filming this bit in Fellowship where me and Pippin were in this wheat field and found Frodo and Sam. We’d done it about fifty million times, and I was sneezing like a bastard from the pollen. We’d nailed it - the scene – over and over, and none of us could work out why we had to keep going. Anyway, we – me and Billy – had had enough, so we hear Pete yell action, and the whole thing starts over again and we jump out of the wheat, but we’d got our kit off. So there we were rolling all over Frodo and Sam stark bollocking naked. Pete called a wrap after that.

Anyway, we were so damned good together. Almost like one of those Mills and Boon romance books. Lij took to carrying this red plastic bucket whenever we went out together. Said he needed it for when we were …..what did he call it? Oh yeah, schmoopy. Whenever we ummm schmooped, he retched into the bucket – you know that bucket came in handy a few times. He really can’t hold his piss. Anyway, he said he reckoned we’d give him diabetes if we got any sweeter. Heh, Billy had Lij on the ground in about a nanosecond, sitting backwards on his chest. He let off this fuckin’ nuclear fart. Right in Lij’s face. Wouldn’t let him get up for a whole minute. After that, if anyone’d say we were sweet, Billy’d say “Sweet, my arse.” And Lij’d go green round the gills for about an hour.

We had fun, you know? I thought we’d be together forever. I really did. It honestly never occurred to me that there’d ever be anything we couldn’t fix. There’s still times now when I wonder how it got so incredibly fucked up. One minute perfect, the next total disaster. I still dream about him. Every night, I think. It takes a minute to realise he’s not there. Then its like the day and the fuckin’ reality crash into me like a sledgehammer. There’ve been a couple of times when I’ve actually been ummm.. paralysed. Like totally couldn’t move. Mostly though, I fell like I’m drowning. I can’t breathe properly. It helps you know. The piss. To start with anyway. Relaxes me and makes that tight band ‘round my chest get a bit looser. Few vodkas and I can breathe again. I can get out of bed. But I need more now. And then I feel like shite. I didn’t think anyone noticed, you know? I really didn’t. Didn’t think anyone’d give a fuck anyway. But they did, and then JJ called me, and now I’m here. You know the rest.”

“Well, I know why you’re here, but there’s still a lot you haven’t told me yet, isn’t there?”

“I’m doing the best I can.”

“Dom.”

“I am. I’m trying. Really. S’just so fuckin’ hard, you know? Can we just stop? For today?”

“Okay. Yeah. But tomorrow, okay? Come back tomorrow?”