ohmahgahangst!

[sparkythehamstr.livejournal.com]

More of it.  Poor Dominic.

Title: No Such Thing, part 2

Author: sparkythehamstr

Pairing: Monaboyd of course

Rating: PG-13 for language

Summary: Elijah steps in.

Disclaimer: In my frickin’ dreams!

Notes: Sequel to “No Such Thing.” Ack, how could I do that to poor Dom?

 

            Dom sat at the bar and tipped a beer into his mouth. He ran his finger around the rim of the glass. Sighed. He was thinking again.

            “I know that look, Dom,” Elijah said. “And no. I don’t know what you’re on about, but I am not going to let you sit here and mope.”

            Dom forced a smile. It felt like a grimace. “Thanks, Lij.

            Elijah clapped him on the shoulder and hugged him. “No problem. Oh, shit.”

            Elijah reached into his pocket for his cell phone, which had apparently been on vibrate.

            “Hi. Uh huh. Yeah. Ohhh yeah. Everything’s in place. Yep. Okay, great.”

            Elijah closed the phone and ignored Dom’s pointed look. He’d heard a bit of the voice on the other end. And unless his perception was failing, he had detected a Scottish brogue in it.

            “Was that Bills?”

            He said it casually, but he was too tired to care if it actually sounded that way.

            “Yep.”

            Elijah did not elaborate. Dom wanted to badger him, ask what Billy had wanted, but he knew full well he’d probably not be able to keep his voice from rising. Besides, he was too busy feeling sorry for himself to be obsessive at the moment. He took another drink of his beer.

            “So,” Elijah said.

            “So.”

            “You’re being really fucking quiet.”

            “So?”

            “So, you also look like someone squashed Gizmo.”

            The thought did not brighten Dom’s mood at all. “Not funny. I’m just tired. Lost has been really draining lately.”

            He knew Elijah didn’t believe that, and he didn’t care. He was feeling just a bit too fucking miserable to worry about it. He finished off his beer and ordered another.

            “Dom.”

            It was not a gentle prodding tone. It was a Very Serious Elijah Wood tone.

            “What.”

            “I don’t know why you won’t talk to me about this, but it’s really starting to bother me.”

            “Talk to you about what?” Dom said. He reined in his voice, which was slipping up an octave or three. “It’s nothing. I told you, I’m tired.”

            Elijah sighed. “If you say so.”

            He thought he heard his friend make a slight noise, like he’d just seen something interesting. But Elijah stared down into his own beer. Dom cocked an eyebrow.

            “What are you up to, Elwood?”

            “What? I don’t know what you’re talking about!”

            Now it was Elijah’s voice that went high-pitched. Dom narrowed his eyes at him. He saw Elijah’s gaze flicker over his shoulder, and then a pair of hands covered his eyes.

            “Shit!”

            He nearly fell off his stool in surprise.

            “Guess who.”

            Dom’s heart hammered at the sound of that voice.

            “Bills!”

            There was no thought about misery or loneliness or unrequited love. Dom shot from his seat and threw his arms around Billy. Clutched him. Smelled him. Nearly fucking cried over him.

            “What the hell are you doing here?” he asked. "I thought you were busy in Scotland."

            His voice rose to an absurd pitch, but at the moment he was too absorbed in his elation to think about it. He’d analyse it later, second-guess later. Right now was Billy.

            “Well, I was,” Billy said. “But then I heard the strangest rumour.”

            Dom tried not to let the cold stab of terror he felt show in his eyes. He smiled.

            “What rumour is that?”

            Billy gave him a serious look. “I heard that a certain friend of mine had the nerve to be depressed, despite being in gorgeous Hawaii. And I thought, ‘Well, if Dom Monaghan isn’t enjoying Hawaii, perhaps I should shanghai him to Scotland. Maybe then the ungrateful bastard would appreciate what he has.’”

            Billy smiled that winning smile, and in the glow of it Dom forgot his angst. He and Billy sat down. Things clicked into place in his mind, and he turned to give Elijah a long stare.

            “You did this, didn’t you.”

            “Guilty,” Elijah said. “Although if you’re mad, I’m sure we can send him back.”

            “Not by mail, I hope,” Billy said. “Last time I got awfully cold in the cargo hold.”

            Dom threw an arm around him. “Mate, you’ll be lucky if I let you go back at all.”

            He cringed inwardly as the words left his mouth. Did that sound clingy? Was he letting too much show again? Billy gave no indication that he found it odd. He just laughed and ordered a drink. The three of them caught up on the latest news. Dom tried not to glower when Billy mentioned Evangeline. That bloody story was going to follow him everywhere. But it wasn’t important. Nothing was important now that Billy was there. Dom basked in Billy’s glow and tried not to let his mind stray back to the dark places it had been lately. They talked and laughed and joked.

            Then Elijah had to go and open his big mouth.

            “Apparently there was quite the internet flail over you two at ORC,” Elijah said.

            The smile dropped from Dom’s face. “Yeah?”

            “Yeah. I think about a million fangirls dampened their panties at once.”

            Billy snorted next to him. Dom faked a laugh of his own. “Crazy.”

            He wanted to punch Elijah for doing that. Not just because it brought back all those terrible dark lonely thoughts, but because he could swear there was a glint in Elijah’s eyes as he said it. A glint of… malice? He settled for a quizzical sort of glare and took a long draught of his beer. Fucker. Next to him Billy was quiet. Dom clapped him on the shoulder.

            “Don’t worry Bills. Your reputation as a heartbreaking ladykiller is still secure.”

            Billy was silent still.

            “Bills?”

            Dom turned to look at him. It took all his courage, after what Elijah had said. Billy stared down at his glass on the bar.

            “Bills, are you all right?” Dom asked.

            He put a hand on Billy’s hands, clasped in front of him. Billy chuckled.

            “I’m fine, Dom. It just… caught me on a strange moment.”

            Dom raised an eyebrow. Billy staring at his hands meant Dom didn’t have to look him in the eye.

            “Is everything okay?” he asked. “I mean… with you and…”

            He didn’t want to finish the sentence. Didn’t want to say that name. It was like a knife in him to even think about her. He tried to speak in measured tones. Tried not to sound hopeful. He hated himself at that moment, hated himself for trying to comfort Billy while at the same time hoping that was why Billy needed comfort. He felt black and evil, and he hated it. He felt disingenuous. He felt like a fake.

            With no further words, he stood up and went to the bathroom. He couldn’t stand to sit there with Billy and play out that tug of war in his head. The war between wanting Billy to be happy and… just wanting Billy. He pushed open the door, slammed into one of the stalls, and just stood there. He wanted to cry, but he didn’t quite know why. He thought about punching the stall door. But that would just make noise, and Billy and Elijah or both of them would come running to ask why Dom was behaving like a damn fool.

            He heard the door open. Footsteps coming towards his stall. A faint knock on the metal.

            “Dom?” It was Billy. “Dom, are you okay?”

            “Yeah, I just thought-- I thought maybe I might be about to get sick.”

            “Oh.”

            A beat.

            “Well, you do realise you’re in the women’s loo, right?”

            Dom looked around. It had occurred to him on some level of his thought that there were a lot of stalls in this men’s room. The little box on the side of the stall. He leaned his head on the wall and laughed. He heard Billy laughing on the other side. The absurdity of the situation struck him, and he laughed harder. Snorted. That brought on more laughter, and he only half-noticed that Billy had opened the stall door. Dom was in tears now, laughing and crying, though he could scarcely have explained exactly why. He composed himself and dared a look at Billy. Billy, with that patient, amused look on his face. His expression changed then, became serious.

            “It’s over.”

            “What?”

            A hundred things ran through Dom’s mind in the space of a second, each one more panic-inducing than the last.

            “Ali. It’s over.”

            “What? When?”

            Dom didn’t have to fake his surprise. Last he’d heard everything was peachy between the two of them.

            “It’s a long story,” Billy said. “But there are no hard feelings.”

            “Oh my god, Bills, I’m sorry.”

            Dom hugged him and rubbed his back. Even his raging jealousy couldn’t stop him caring about Billy’s feelings.

            “Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. I just-- when Elijah said that, about the hug, it just made me think of it, and--"

            Dom shushed him. “You don’t need to explain anything. Come here.”

            Dom hugged him again. It was as much for his benefit as Billy’s. Now that he was over the initial wave of shock and empathy, selfishness reared its ugly head. The hopes he’d kept tucked away in a corner of his mind came spilling out, and despair almost overwhelmed him.

            “Dominic.”

            Things were serious when Billy called him Dominic.

            “What?”

            Dom let go, afraid he’d inadvertently crushed something. Billy stared at him, and he shrank back from that stare. He felt naked beneath it, like Billy was reading all his thoughts and perhaps didn’t approve of some of them. He ran a hand through his hair. Billy sighed. Dom sensed an impending Big Speech and steeled himself for it. Billy was going to tell him he knew. He was going to say, “I know you’re in love with me Dom, but it can’t ever be.” Tears sprang to Dom’s eyes before Billy even started to speak.

            “Dom, I know."