First Day

[ceartas.livejournal.com]

Title: First Day
Author: ceartas
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: As real as a not real thing. The song used is not mine, it’s a Scottish Folk song and can be found HERE. The final view is not written as the author's voice. It is simply another character's voice.
Summary: The first day of school is never easy.
Feedback: Is always appreciated.
Beta: Sarah aka nickelsandcoats. This story wouldn't be half of what it is, if it weren't for her. She held my hand and helped me coax Katie out of the shadows, she fixed all my silly mistakes and she's just the most wonderful person in the whole wide world!
A/N: Written for lotrpschallege, Challenge 21, Perspectives. I posted this first in my journal but seeing as the challenge is over now, I thought I'd post it here as well.





“Daddy.”

“Yes, pumpkin?”

Tiny hand tucked snugly inside a larger one. Safe. Protected.

“Will you miss me?”

“Of course.”

“More than cartoons?”

“Yes.”

“More than goin’ to the beach?”

“Yes.”

“More than chocolate?”

“Hmmm…”

“Dad-DY!”

Billy smiled softly as he watched Dom swing their baby girl up into his arms, except she wasn’t a baby anymore. Beginning kindergarten was just the first step; soon she’d be having friends over and they’d spend the night giggling over boys. Then came training bras and the birds and the bees and … he shuddered to himself, not wanting to think about some of the other things that they would be dealing with, two men and a little girl. He skipped ahead in his mental timeline, watching her wave out the window of her first car, graduating with her degree in, hmmm, what would she be when she grew up? She talked about wanting to be an actress, like Dad and Daddy. Because that was the coolest thing ever. Maybe she’d be a musician, because Dad loved music so. Or how about an entomologist? Wasn’t that the bug scientist? Daddy always helped her find the biggest ones, while Dad squealed and said, “Get that thing away from me!”

They’d reached the school and Billy was surprised to see Dom hugging her tightly, refusing to set her down, even though she wiggled and squirmed to get out of his grasp.

“Daddy, let me down! Everyone will think I’m a baby if you don’t let me go!”

The expression on Dom’s face when she spoke almost broke Billy’s heart. He looked crestfallen, a combination of the wind getting knocked out of him with the most excruciating pain imaginable. And Billy understood that this *was* the most painful thing that Dom had ever experienced, having to let go, bit by bit, of someone who was your entire world. Billy knew that it was more difficult this way, seeing them drift away while you’re powerless to do anything about it. Not that it was easier or less painful in the long run, when you lose someone suddenly. Billy sighed, wondering where his train of thought was going. He watched as Dom swiped quickly at his eyes then set her down on the ground and knelt in front of her, fussing over her blue dress. The one with the big white bow on it, the one that she said she really must have or she might simply curl up and die otherwise. Completely over-dramatic, just like Dom; and Billy thought that maybe being an actress wouldn’t be such a bad career choice after all.

“Daddy?”

“Katie.”

“You’ll be here when school is over, right?”

“I’ll stand right by the door.”

“Promise?”

“Cross my heart.”

“Can we go to the pet store on the way home?”

“If that’s what you would like to do.”

“Can I get a puppy?”

“Puppies need to be walked in the winter, you know.”

“Winter is too cold, so that’s no good. Can I get a kitten?”

“It might scratch up your doll house.”

“But dad made that and it’s special. I can’t have it getting spoiled,” a frustrated look passed over her face as she put her hands on her hips, “Well, can I get some fish then?”

A small amused smile and a kiss on her forehead, “We’ll see.”

********************************

Daddy’s crying. He thinks I don’t see, but I do. And I don’t want to tell him I’m scared, because it’ll only make him sadder. So I reach out and slip my hand into his. He looks down at me and smiles but his eyes are blurry. I smile back; tell him that I love him and that if I get an orangey-red fish, I’m naming him Dominic. Daddy laughs and ruffles my hair.

“Kathleen, yeh mind yer manners now, y’hear?”

Dad’s tone is serious so I nod solemnly and say, “Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.”

And Dad smiles at me so I grab his hand too and start swinging it back and forth. Then I tell him that if I get a white fish, I’m naming him William. Dad shakes his head and mutters something about me ‘being a miniature Dom’. I think that’s a good thing and I tell him so. That makes him laugh.

I don’t usually make a fuss about hugs, because I really don’t mind so much. Daddy’s hugs let me know he loves me. They’re soft and warm and kinda squishy-like. Dad’s hugs make me feel safe. They’re strong and tight and I know that he understands everything. That’s why I can tell Dad that I’m scared, but not Daddy.

We’re close to the front steps now and my tummy feels like it has a knot in it. I stop and pretend to fix my shoe. Dad knows that there’s really nothing wrong with my shoe but he kneels down to help me anyway. My eyes are stinging but I don’t think the wind blew any dirt into them.

“Kathleen?”

I throw my arms around his neck and squeeze tight, whispering, “I’m scared, Dad.”

Then his arms are around me and he’s whispering words into my hair and I know that everything will be alright. I smile into his shoulder because he’s singing my favourite song.

"Dance tae yer daddy,
Ma bonnie lassie,
Dance tae yer daddy, ma bonnie lamb!
An ye'll get a fishie
In a little dishie,
Ye'll get a fishie, whan the boat comes hame."

I feel a soft kiss on my head and I pull back.

“Better, love?”

I nod and he stands up again. I slip my hand back into his and we share a smile before turning to where Daddy is waiting for us. Daddy holds his hand out to me and I take it gladly.

“Daddy, guess what?”

“What, Katie?”

“Dad says that I can get some fish!”

We walked into the school together, still holding hands. I wasn't scared anymore, and I grinned up at Dad and Daddy to show them that. They smiled down at me, and then met each other's eyes, sharing their own private smile.

*************************************

I felt a little uncomfortable at first, seeing the two men walking towards me, a little girl walking between them holding both of their hands. Not that I was blatantly homophobic, well, at least I tried not to be if I happened to pass a couple in the street. It’s just that I’d never actually known any gay people before, and here we were going to have a gay family in my son’s school. As they got closer, I tried to concern myself with his backpack and why the zipper didn’t want to cooperate.

“Hi, Katie!”

“Hello, Thomas!”

I smiled politely as they passed us, then turned to my son and said, “Who is that pretty little girl, Thomas?”

“Oh, that’s Katie.”

“Uh-huh…”

“Emily’s best friend.”

“Emily?”

“Cousin Emily. And Tavis, mum!” he rolled his eyes at me and continued, “She lives next door and always comes over ta play. She’s a real spit, if’n she is only five. She’s got two dads, y’know. And they’re mighty neat, mum. You’d like ‘em, you would.”

“Um hmm…”

My eyes drifted back to the two men and the little girl, and I felt slightly voyeuristic as I watched the tender moment that was unfolding. The little girl, Katie, cupped her father’s face in her tiny hands and looked him squarely in the eyes before she whispered, “Please don’t cry, I’ll be alright now, Dad. I’m a big girl.”

“Aye, that you are, m’angel.”

“You’ll hold Daddy’s hand on the way home, right?”

“Of course, love. Why d’yeh ask?”

“Because he’s not as strong as you are sometimes.”

“Oh my sweet, sweet Kathleen. So much more grown up than yeh should be.”

A kiss on top of honey-wheat hair.

I couldn’t help but smile; they really did make a beautiful family, so comfortable together and …so natural.