PAPER OR PLASTIC - CHAPTER ONE

[mc-honky.livejournal.com]

It's baaack...

Title: Paper or Plastic (1/?)

Author: mc_honky

Rating: PG-13

Pairing: Eventual Monaboyd, Billy/Sean B., Billy/Sean A. (implied)

Disclaimer: Not mine. Even in AU.

Feedback: I'l give you milk with bendie straws...

Notes: Thanks to all who gave me such positive feedback with the Starter-Upper. You know who you are. *loves you*

***

Nine months. It’s been exactly nine months, five hours, twenty-three minutes, and fifteen seconds, since Sean walked out on Billy. Billy wasn’t the kind of person to dwell on something like this - because Billy’s been through some rough break-ups before, but his break-up with Sean had made it to what Billy liked to call his “Top Five List”.

 

Break-Up Number One: Jennifer Cook

Eighth Grade- Jennifer had always reminded Billy of Scout, in To Kill a Mockingbird. Jennifer didn’t mind getting dirty. She’d play footie with the boys, then pick a fight with whoever called her out. She was a real pistol. Billy was always fascinated by her. She figured a lot of things out before most other girls their age, she possessed something they didn’t – Billy could never put his finger on what that was. She had grabbed Billy by his shirtfront and dragged him back behind the gym. She kissed him, and swiftly brought her knee into contact with his man-parts seconds after she broke away from him. Billy saw this as being a bit harsh. He’d peed blood that night.

 

Break-Up Number Two: Catherine Swanda

Billy was sixteen, Catherine was seventeen. She was a beatnik. Billy didn’t know what the fuck she was on about half the time. Granted, Catherine was usually jacked up higher than a prom-dress in June. The sex was mind-blowing, he and Catherine would have these…conversations after sex. It wasn’t like normal after-sex pillow talk; the talks were always profound – in an awkward sort of way. Billy really fancied himself in love with her. Before she’d leave, Billy would always ask if she’d call. She always did. One night, she hadn’t called. Billy had passed by her house later that evening, she was standing at her window wrapped in her bed sheets – some guy from the Debate Team also wrapped in said bed-sheets. She’d made eye contact with Billy through the window, and she moved to close her curtains. Billy cried himself to sleep that night.

 

Break-Up Number Three: Alison Makinnen

Billy was twenty-nine. Billy was a collage drop-out. Billy also lived in his sister’s basement, and was suckling at his Grandmother’s retirement fund. Billy was a bum. Then, Billy met Alison. Alison was an old family friend, she, un-like Billy, had ambitions. She wanted to be a dancer. She’d been away for the last eight years studying over in the States. She’d gone to Julliard, Billy remembers. Billy didn’t know what was so fucking fabulous about Julliard, but Alison had seemed inordinately proud of this. Billy came to know Alison better than any woman he’d know in his life. She was very very very Obsessive Compulsive. She was always cleaning. It drove Billy mad, and he eventually grew accustomed to the constant vacuuming. She said it was very Zen. Shortly after making this statement Billy asked Alison to marry him. She accepted. Billy then met Break-up Number Four, and left Alison. Billy had only been engaged to Alison briefly.

 

Break-Up Number Four: Joshua Manning

Joshua was Alison’s dance instructor. Billy would occasionally accompany Alison to her dance classes. Watching Joshua was like watching a train wreck; you knew that you really should look away, but you just couldn’t, for sheer intrigue. Joshua had once asked Billy if he ever considered taking up dance. He’d said Billy had the perfect body for it. Billy had pointed out that he was a bit out of shape, and not very flexible. Joshua had then not-so-subtly, run his hand down Billy’s chest, practically purring, “Bet I could fix that in a right jiffy, hmm?” Billy had seen him in the gents two weeks after this encounter. Joshua had shot him a predatory smile over the urinals. He was cocking the “fuck with me” gun, and – BAM! Just like that, Billy was gay. It was an epiphany. Billy waited until Joshua was through, before they both lunged for one another, their mouths colliding and tongues meeting in a heated frenzy. Billy pulled Joshua into the nearest stall. Billy was promptly de-flowered that evening. Billy and Joshua hadn’t really had a relationship, per-say, but after, to what Billy thought to be the greatest eleven and a half minutes of his life, Joshua proceeded to tuck himself back into his pants. “It’s been fun.” He’d said before turning on his heel, leaving Billy, still covered in his own seed, and feeling very much alone. No one had ever made Billy feel as cheap as Joshua had. Billy told Alison in the car that night, he couldn’t marry her because he had recently discovered that he was a homosexual. He didn’t tell Ali just how recently he’d figured this, but he thought what the woman didn’t know wouldn’t hurt her. She’d taken the whole think very well – better than Billy had expected. She’d said she always known he was a pouf, because his sister had told her that he’d had an eye for pretty lads since he was a wee thing. This caught Billy off guard, but was pleased with her reaction none the less.   

 

Break-Up Number Five: Sean Bean

Shortly after discovering his homosexuality, Billy took it upon himself to move out of his sister’s basement. Billy had lived at a Day’s Inn for three weeks before he decided to make off for the States. Ali had suggested he head for Massachusetts. She’d said that most everyone makes off for New York, and that can be a bit overwhelming to someone who’s never left the country. She’d said that the Boston area was much nicer. It was smaller than New York, cleaner, too, but a city regardless. Billy thought she might as well speak to him in fucking Latin, but he’d take her word for it.  Billy arrived at Logan Airport with no knowledge on where to go, or whatever. He became a regular at the local Waffle House. That’s where he met Sean. Billy had been sitting at the counter, when Sean had come bustling through the door. He gave Billy a side long glace before ushering a waitress saying, “I’ll have what this bloke’s having. Smells strong enough.” They’d oddly bonded after that. One morning, Sean had propositioned Billy with a job offer, down at the Stop&Shop in Sudbury, some fifteen minutes from the city. Billy, desperate for money, for anything really, gladly accepted the offer. Americans liked to get things over and done with rather quickly, because after a brief meeting with Sean Astin, the shop’s manager, Billy found himself with his first real job since high school. The job was nothing glamorous, and certainly nothing to brag about. But a job was a job. There had always been a mutual attraction between Sean and Billy, so it seemed only natural for Sean to proposition Billy again, this time for sex. The sex then led to Sean asking Billy to be at his disposal, and move in with him. Billy didn’t give this a second thought, though, in hindsight, maybe he should have.

 

“C’mon Bill, would you talk to me? Please?”

 

Billy is still nursing his bottle of whisky. “What for?”

 

“Billy,” Sean says gruffly, moving in to take the whisky. “You’re being stupid, now give it here. You don’t drink.”

 

Billy’s eyes flare dangerously, he wildly reaches across the island, downing the last of the whisky before Sean can protest.

 

“Excuse me, but I believe neither of us in the position to say what the other does or does not do,” Billy stammers indignantly. “Without much authority.”

Sean pinches the bridge of his nose. “Well, at least I won’t have to make excuses now.” He comes around Billy from behind, rubbing his hands up and down Billy’s forearms. “I can just say that I’m going by to Eric’s, and that I’ll be back within the hour.”

 

Billy squirms out of Sean’s embrace before turning to face his lover…ex-lover…lover?

 

“Can I ask you something?”

 

“What is it then?”

 

Billy swallows, hard. “Why? Why now after all this time?”

 

“I’m sorry, Billy.” Sean moves away, exasperated. Yes, Billy thinks, because Sean is the one who should feel so put out. “I found someone new. What do you want me to say?”

 

Billy purses his lips together, choosing his words carefully.

 

“Really, Billy. I’m dying to know what it is exactly that you want from me?” Sean says nastily.

 

“I want you to say that you’ve been waiting to be with someone like me your whole life,” Billy says, knowing full well that he’ll come out looking the idiot in the end. “And that you’re…that you’re not going to let me go.”

 

“I’m sorry.”

 

“Billy? Billy? Hey, man, are you okay?” It’s Sean – not that Sean, the other Sean. Astin.

 

“Hmm? Yeah, fine. Fabulous, actually.”

 

Sean follows Billy’s eyes. He grimaces. “It kills you, doesn’t it?”

 

“What does?” Billy doesn’t look at Sean.

 

“Seeing them,” Sean pauses, then says cautiously. “Together.”

 

Billy shrugs. “Used to.” Billy watches as Eric leans over the butcher’s counter, smiling flirtatiously as Beanie brings out his order. They kiss briefly, before Eric makes off for the Dairy isle.

 

“Now, it only fuels to annoy me.”

 

Sean grins crookedly. “Know what you mean. PDA always bothers me…”

 

“Not the PDA that bothers me,” Billy says, continuing to price the string beans he’s been marking for the past twenty minutes. “I feel like he’s trying to prove something. How much happier he is now that we’re not together. Now that he’s gone off to live with Eric.” He frowns, and begins marking cans rapidly.

 

Sean sets his hand on Billy’s shoulder. “His loss.” He leans in, giving Billy a brief peck on the cheek.

 

“Sean!” Billy blanches, scandalized.

 

Sean smiles, meekly. “Couldn’t help it. Sorry.”

“Sean,” Billy purses his lips, and stages a theatrical glance over his shoulder before turning back to Sean, speaking to him in a urgent, and hushed tone. “It was…it was very special.” Billy didn’t know what to say after that.

 

Sean’s expression falls. “But it was just that…one night. I know, Billy, Jesus. It’s embarrassing.”

 

“Needed comfort, is all.” Billy says awkwardly.

 

Sean nods curtly. “Right.”

 

“Mr. Astin? You’re wife is here to see you.” The intercom booms over the store.

 

Sean mutters to himself as he heads for the entrance. “Ex. Ex-wife. Didn’t spend two weeks at the Colonnade because we had a simple falling out...”

 

*

 

“Elijah, put that out.” Sean snapped as he came barreling past.

 

“Yes, Prince Mishkin!” Elijah called to his retreating back. He snubbed out his cigarette into the bakery counter.

 

“What do you suppose that was, then?” Orlando chimed from behind the counter.

 

“What was what?”

 

Orlando eyed the cigarette butt with distain, wiping it clean with a rag. “That whole exchange between Sean and Billy. Did you see it?”

 

“No.” Elijah said, he went to light another cigarette.

 

“Those things’ll give you cancer, you know?”

 

“Yeah,” Elijah lit up again. “I know.”

 

 

“Did you see it?” Orlando said again.

 

“No. What was it?”

 

Orlando leaned over the counter, looking out at Billy’s distant figure. “They kissed.”

 

Elijah seemed unfazed by this. “So?”

 

“So!?” Orlando began to flail his arms wildly. “Mr. Prissy Pants Astin – Mr. Divorced Used To Sleep With Women Prissy Pants Astin kissed Billy! He kissed Billy!”

 

“And why not?” Elijah said, cheeks hollowed before he exhaled lazily. “I'd fuck him. Wouldn't you?”

 

“Yes, but that's not the point. It’s Sean!” He paused. “It’s ookie.”

 

Elijah grinned, blowing a smoke ring in Orlando’s face. “You’re such a gossip-queen, Orli.”

 

“Am not.”

 

“Fine, you’re not.”

 

“Elijah, I thought I told you to put that out. Don’t you have bags you should be loading?” Sean called over his shoulder. “Stop fiddle fucking around and work. All of you.”

 

“Really needs a good bugger is all.” Orlando said thoughtfully. “He’d be right as rain.” Orlando begins to scrub down the counter, but stops abruptly. “Oh, bloody hell. Would you look at that?”