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[mixmasterhobbit.livejournal.com]

This is my frist posted fic' ever. Lemmie know if it sucks, kay?

Title: Riddle Me This
Author: MixMasterHobbit
Fandom: Lord of the Rings RPS
Pairing: DM/BB

Summary: Billy and Dom solve riddles.
Rating: better make it R just to be sure (language, sexual reference)
A/N: It’s my first fic’ *hides* any comments welcome
Disclaimer: If Dom and Billy were mine do you think I’d be wasting my time writing fanfiction? I think not. And I stole the title from Batman- ‘holy toledo Batman!’

 

 

Title: Riddle Me This
Author: MixMasterHobbit
Fandom: Lord of the Rings RPS
Pairing: DM/BB

Summary: Billy and Dom solve riddles.
Rating: better make it R just to be sure (language, sexual reference)
A/N: It’s my first fic’ *hides* any comments welcome
Disclaimer: If Dom and Billy were mine do you think I’d be wasting my time writing fanfiction? I think not. And I stole the title from Batman- ‘holy toledo Batman!’

 

 

 

“Ok, so five guys are walking in a line and a sign falls on them. The first, third and fifth guys get killed but the other two are fine. What kind of sign is it?”

 

“What?”

 

“It’s a riddle. Answer it.”

 

“I don’t want to.”

 

“Come on, it’s fun.”

 

“No.”

 

“Spoil sport.”

 

*Silence*

 

“Please….”

 

*sigh* “Fine. What was it? Five guys are walking single file…?”

 

“No, they’re walking side by side.”

 

“You didn’t say that.”

 

“Yes I did.”

 

“No you didn’t! You just said in a line.”

 

“Well that’s what I meant.”

 

“Fine.”

 

*Silence*

 

“Did you get it?”

 

“Sshhh! I’m thinking.”

 

“You sure are slow. Even ‘lijah got this one.”

 

“Fuck off Dom. Let me think.”

 

*Silence*

 

“Y’know, you’re kinda cute when you think.”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah, your forehead gets all wrinkled.”

 

“Thanks, I’ll keep that in mind.”

 

*Silence*

 

“Sheesh, don’t you guys have riddles in Scotland? This one’s easy!”

 

“Of course we have riddles. I just have better things to do with my time.”

 

“Right. So…do you give up?”

 

“No!”

 

“Oh come on!”

 

“No! I’ll get it, just give me a second.”

 

“You’ve been thinking for five minutes now.”

 

“Shut up.”

 

*Silence*

 

“Do you give up?”

 

“No.”

 

*Silence*

 

“Do you give up now?”

 

“No!”

 

*Silence*

 

“Come on, you’re never going to get it. I’m the riddle master.”

 

“I will if you stop talking!”

 

*Silence*

 

“Are you sure?”

 

“Damn it Dom! I’ll tell you when I’ve given up!”

 

*Silence*

 

“Billy?”

 

*Groan* “What?”

 

“Never mind.”

 

*Groan*

 

*Silence*

 

“Billy? Do you give up?”

 

“Dominic!”

 

“What?! I was just asking!”

 

“Fine! I give up! Happy?”

 

“Yes.”

 

“Well….?”

 

“Well what?”

 

“What was the answer?”

 

“Oh yeah. It was a McDonalds sign.”

 

“What?!”

 

“A McDonalds sign.”

 

“A McDonalds sign?! That’s the stupidest joke I’ve ever heard!”

 

“It wasn’t a joke, it was a riddle.”

 

“Whatever!”

 

“There’s a difference.”

 

“What?”

 

“I said there’s a difference.”

 

“A difference between what?”

 

“A difference between a joke and a riddle.”

 

“I don’t care.”

 

“You’re just sore because you didn’t get it right.”

 

“Right. Ok riddlemaster, I’ve got one. A magician boasts that he can stay underwater for 6 minutes. A little boy says ‘That’s nothing, I can stay underwater for 10 minutes.’ The magician bets the boy 100 dollars and loses. How did this happen?”

 

“He held a glass of water over his head.”

 

“What?! How did you know that?!”

 

“I told you, I’m the riddlemaster.”

 

“Fine, I’ve got another one. Name five days of the week without saying - Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday.”

 

“The day before yesterday, yesterday, today, tomorrow, the day after tomorrow.”

 

“Are you fucking serious?! Wait, I’ve got more…..”

 

*1 hour later*

 

“What falls but never breaks, what breaks but never falls?”

 

“Night and day.”

 

“I don’t fucking believe it!”

 

“Forget it Billy, you can’t beat me.”

 

“Yes I can! Just let me think of another riddle.”

 

 “Billy, come on, I’m tired.”

 

“Wait! Let me think.”

 

*Sigh* “Billy…”

 

“Shhh!!”

 

“You are never going to win. Just admit it, I’m the best.”

 

“Fuck you.”

 

“Really?”

 

“….”

 

“Do you want to?”

 

“What?”

 

“Yeah.”

 

“Are you serious?”

 

“Yeah, I’m totally in the mood. Seeing you all hot and bothered turns me on.”

 

“…ok..”

 

“Great! Come on.”

 

“Wait, Dom! What about the riddles?”

 

“Fine, I’ve got one last riddle for you.”

 

“Wha-..oh..oh.”

 

“Like that?”

 

“Wow, you are the riddlemaster.”