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The Wind -----> Chapter Eight
Title: The Wind (8/?)
Author: Cera_Lari
Dedication: To my friend, ‘Cassie.’ I love you, girl! Just don’t make me write this story for 20-odd years...
Pairing: Billy/Dom, or else I wouldn’t be posting here, would I?
Rating: PG
Thanks: Thank you to Nessa_Felagund for being my beta. You are my bestest best buddy!
Warnings: Lots ‘o angst, unfortunately. I swear it will all turn out okay, though!
Disclaimer: This is fiction for the fans, thus the name ‘fan-fiction.’ It is not real.
Feedback: If you will be kind enough to give me some, yes. It helps me get better.
Summary: It never was...but will it be?
Notes: I have no idea how many chapters there will be. It is just a story that is jumping around in my mind. Just hope you like it. Oh, yes, and the title will come into play later. I know it is odd, but so am I, so I suggest...getting used to it. :-)
Previous chapters may be found here
The door slammed behind Dom as he walked out of Cassie’s house.
He stepped out into the beautiful day, but to him it wasn’t beautiful. He didn’t hear the birds chirping, he didn’t smell the flowers, and he didn’t see the beautiful sights of spring. In his heart there was a dark storm cloud, and to him, it seemed to engulf the outside world as well as his heart.
As he walked down the driveway onto the sidewalk, he turned around and looked back at the house, tears forming in his eyes. The tears slowly spilled onto his cheek, flowed down his face, and dripped onto the ground, spreading his grief into the dark soil. He raised his hand to his heart and said in a clear, strong, yet sorrow-filled voice, "Good-bye, Billy Boyd." With that he turned and continued walking down the sidewalk.
Oh, how could Billy have done this to him? He had wanted the truth, and he had gotten it. What had Dom done to be condemned like this? He couldn’t survive without Billy. Why didn’t Billy see that? Ever since they met Dom had spent millions of hours on end with him, and every time they were apart, he felt like a little part of him was dying. From the first moment Dom had stared into those deep green eyes, he had been in love. Dom could have anyone he wanted-except Billy. He was sure he could just wave his hand and Aimee would be his, and the same for Cassie and Miranda. Any young girl out there would probably die to be his girlfriend, but he didn’t want them. Did he? No, he didn’t. As for the gay young men, some of them probably wanted him, too. But he didn’t want them, either. All he wanted was his Billy. His Billy with the beautiful green eyes, the small face, the tiny yet firm and strong body… Why couldn’t he have him? Did he not deserve him? Was someone above against his being happy? For that is what it felt like to him, like someone hated him and was trying to ruin his life.
Why did Allie have to be who she was? Why couldn’t she have stayed out of Billy’s life? Before he had met her, he had seemed enthralled by Dom. It seemed like he was so close to becoming Dom's. Dom had been so happy, hoping that someday his love would be his. Then she came. She stole Billy from him. Why? Did she have it in for him? Was this some nasty plot to make Dominic Monaghan the unhappiest person in the world? If it was, it was succeeding.
Dom walked down the sidewalk, taking random turns and not paying attention to what was going on around him. Twice he had walked out into the street in a daze, and both times he hadn’t looked and had almost been hit by a car. Go figure.
Once he felt a tug at the bottom of his pants, and looked down to see a cute little blonde girl. She had large blue eyes, the kind that any man could fall in love with. Her blonde tresses were captured in a bouncy ponytail, and whenever she moved, it swayed. She’d be a heartbreaker when she got older. Like Billy.
"Can I have an autograph, Mr. Merry?" she asked quietly, holding up a picture of him. He wasn’t alert enough to wonder why she was carrying a picture of him, but he did do as she asked. After he had autographed the picture, she smiled and hugged him, then ran away in pure bliss.
He couldn’t help but smile as he watched the girl run away from him. She seemed so happy, like she had found what she had been missing in her life. Why couldn’t he find that?
His smile faded, and he turned to continue walking. Eventually he encountered a Kwik Star. He walked in, still in a daze. He glanced at the clock; it was 11:59. Apparently he had only been walking for twenty minutes. It had seemed so much longer than that, though. Oh well, Shell Rock is a rather small town, and right now he felt like just running out into the highway and letting a semi hit him, just to cure him of his misery. Glancing at the clock again, his stomach rumbled. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was till now. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple dollars, then picked out a few things to eat and something to drink. After paying, he wandered back outside. He stood at the side of the convenient shop and ate his food. After he finished that, he went back to his mindless wandering of the town.
As he came upon another turn, he saw a piece of paper and a pen, just lying there on the ground. He bent down and picked it up. Before he knew it, he was writing a letter to Billy. A letter to express all his hopes, dreams, wishes, pains, loves, and other feelings. He couldn’t go on without Billy, and he felt he had to let him know this. Minutes passed, and he kept writing. Soon he flipped the paper over onto the back and kept writing. Only when he was running out of room did he quit writing. He stopped, read over what he had written, and folded the paper carefully, shoving it in his pocket.
He had to learn to live without Billy. He had to learn how to breathe, to eat, to walk without Billy. It was going to be a difficult task, but he could do it. Maybe if he found someone else it'd be a little easier…
The idea struck him as he turned right at a corner. Aimee! She loved him, and in his own way, he loved her. Maybe if he asked her…
No, that wouldn’t be right. Technically he’d be on his rebound, and she didn’t deserve to be hurt. She was innocent, and was trying to help him. He couldn’t use her.
But who said he was using her? Maybe once he spent enough time with her, he’d fall in love with her. He could hope, right?
But no matter what he did, he knew he would never be over Billy. Nothing can keep you from the first true love of your life. However foolish he may be, he did not need to hurt someone who was his friend. She deserved better.
He made up his mind; he had to go back. He had to talk to Billy, to get it over with. Only then could he be freed of this cloud hanging over his head. Aimee would help him as much as she could. He would give Billy the letter, let him read it, and then argue his case. If Billy turned him down, Aimee and her friends would help. He turned another corner and was surprised to find that he had come in a circle; Cassie's house was now in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he walked back up the door and went in.
~~~~~
Billy watched as Dom exited in a rush, his hands shaking. Despite his anger, he felt a pang of sadness and guilt for the pain he had just caused his once best mate. Wait...once best mate? Who said they weren't best mates anymore? Was it possible for someone to be friends with a mate who's gay? Especially when one is straight? Or at least trying to be?
There it was. He was trying to be straight. Didn't mean he was, but he was sure as hell trying. For Allie. Wait...for Allie? Not for himself? He shook his head; no, not for himself. Well, maybe it was for himself, too. Was it?
He dropped back on the couch, slightly annoyed with the questions that were hitting him from every direction. He didn't notice when the three girls exited the room quietly, whispering and watching him.
He placed his head in his now shaking hands. What had he done? He had just hurt someone...and it was possible that this was a hurt that couldn't be healed so easily.
Normally he liked a challenge, and this was a challenge. But it was challenge that whatever way it turned out, he'd lose someone he loved. Loved? He loved Dom? Well, he loved Dom as a friend...just as a friend...right? He wasn't so sure anymore.
This challenge was horrible. It was like when a girl asked you to play football with her. If you beat her, then you are thought of as mean for not letting her win. If you lose, you are thought as a weakling. No way to win either way.
It was true that before he had met Allie, he had been having fleeting thoughts of doing naughty things with Dom. It was then he had to keep the word 'straight' in his mind and repeat it over and over whenever Dom was tempting him in his own way. Like when they were drunk; he could've done anything he wanted and blamed it on being drunk the next day. But he never did, because even when he was drunk, he was too shy to do anything to ruin their friendship.
At least, he had been to shy until now.
Now he had possibly ruined one of the best things ever to happen to him. No, he hadn't ruined it, Dom had. It wasn't his fault. It couldn't be. Billy never did anything wrong. It was Dom who people had to watch. You couldn't trust him. He could crush you in a moment, pop your ego, reach into your body and pull out your heart, ripping it to bits...
Or he could capture the heart with some of his magic charm.
No! He didn't...he couldn't...he was not in control of Billy's heart. Billy's heart belonged to Allie...he thought. Did it?
Damn it! Damn you, Dominic Monaghan! Damn you! Damn you for putting me through this, damn you! Billy thought. Why do you have to do this to me? I am weak, and you are strong. You put the burden you've been carrying on your shoulders for God knows how long onto mine, but I cannot handle it. I am not as strong as you are. Why did you do this to me?
Okay, now that you are ready to murder me…I have to find the rare time to write more. Haha, feel obliged to bombard me with your impatience…
Title: The Wind (8/?)
Author: Cera_Lari
Dedication: To my friend, ‘Cassie.’ I love you, girl! Just don’t make me write this story for 20-odd years...
Pairing: Billy/Dom, or else I wouldn’t be posting here, would I?
Rating: PG
Thanks: Thank you to Nessa_Felagund for being my beta. You are my bestest best buddy!
Warnings: Lots ‘o angst, unfortunately. I swear it will all turn out okay, though!
Disclaimer: This is fiction for the fans, thus the name ‘fan-fiction.’ It is not real.
Feedback: If you will be kind enough to give me some, yes. It helps me get better.
Summary: It never was...but will it be?
Notes: I have no idea how many chapters there will be. It is just a story that is jumping around in my mind. Just hope you like it. Oh, yes, and the title will come into play later. I know it is odd, but so am I, so I suggest...getting used to it. :-)
Previous chapters may be found here
The door slammed behind Dom as he walked out of Cassie’s house.
He stepped out into the beautiful day, but to him it wasn’t beautiful. He didn’t hear the birds chirping, he didn’t smell the flowers, and he didn’t see the beautiful sights of spring. In his heart there was a dark storm cloud, and to him, it seemed to engulf the outside world as well as his heart.
As he walked down the driveway onto the sidewalk, he turned around and looked back at the house, tears forming in his eyes. The tears slowly spilled onto his cheek, flowed down his face, and dripped onto the ground, spreading his grief into the dark soil. He raised his hand to his heart and said in a clear, strong, yet sorrow-filled voice, "Good-bye, Billy Boyd." With that he turned and continued walking down the sidewalk.
Oh, how could Billy have done this to him? He had wanted the truth, and he had gotten it. What had Dom done to be condemned like this? He couldn’t survive without Billy. Why didn’t Billy see that? Ever since they met Dom had spent millions of hours on end with him, and every time they were apart, he felt like a little part of him was dying. From the first moment Dom had stared into those deep green eyes, he had been in love. Dom could have anyone he wanted-except Billy. He was sure he could just wave his hand and Aimee would be his, and the same for Cassie and Miranda. Any young girl out there would probably die to be his girlfriend, but he didn’t want them. Did he? No, he didn’t. As for the gay young men, some of them probably wanted him, too. But he didn’t want them, either. All he wanted was his Billy. His Billy with the beautiful green eyes, the small face, the tiny yet firm and strong body… Why couldn’t he have him? Did he not deserve him? Was someone above against his being happy? For that is what it felt like to him, like someone hated him and was trying to ruin his life.
Why did Allie have to be who she was? Why couldn’t she have stayed out of Billy’s life? Before he had met her, he had seemed enthralled by Dom. It seemed like he was so close to becoming Dom's. Dom had been so happy, hoping that someday his love would be his. Then she came. She stole Billy from him. Why? Did she have it in for him? Was this some nasty plot to make Dominic Monaghan the unhappiest person in the world? If it was, it was succeeding.
Dom walked down the sidewalk, taking random turns and not paying attention to what was going on around him. Twice he had walked out into the street in a daze, and both times he hadn’t looked and had almost been hit by a car. Go figure.
Once he felt a tug at the bottom of his pants, and looked down to see a cute little blonde girl. She had large blue eyes, the kind that any man could fall in love with. Her blonde tresses were captured in a bouncy ponytail, and whenever she moved, it swayed. She’d be a heartbreaker when she got older. Like Billy.
"Can I have an autograph, Mr. Merry?" she asked quietly, holding up a picture of him. He wasn’t alert enough to wonder why she was carrying a picture of him, but he did do as she asked. After he had autographed the picture, she smiled and hugged him, then ran away in pure bliss.
He couldn’t help but smile as he watched the girl run away from him. She seemed so happy, like she had found what she had been missing in her life. Why couldn’t he find that?
His smile faded, and he turned to continue walking. Eventually he encountered a Kwik Star. He walked in, still in a daze. He glanced at the clock; it was 11:59. Apparently he had only been walking for twenty minutes. It had seemed so much longer than that, though. Oh well, Shell Rock is a rather small town, and right now he felt like just running out into the highway and letting a semi hit him, just to cure him of his misery. Glancing at the clock again, his stomach rumbled. He hadn’t realized how hungry he was till now. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a couple dollars, then picked out a few things to eat and something to drink. After paying, he wandered back outside. He stood at the side of the convenient shop and ate his food. After he finished that, he went back to his mindless wandering of the town.
As he came upon another turn, he saw a piece of paper and a pen, just lying there on the ground. He bent down and picked it up. Before he knew it, he was writing a letter to Billy. A letter to express all his hopes, dreams, wishes, pains, loves, and other feelings. He couldn’t go on without Billy, and he felt he had to let him know this. Minutes passed, and he kept writing. Soon he flipped the paper over onto the back and kept writing. Only when he was running out of room did he quit writing. He stopped, read over what he had written, and folded the paper carefully, shoving it in his pocket.
He had to learn to live without Billy. He had to learn how to breathe, to eat, to walk without Billy. It was going to be a difficult task, but he could do it. Maybe if he found someone else it'd be a little easier…
The idea struck him as he turned right at a corner. Aimee! She loved him, and in his own way, he loved her. Maybe if he asked her…
No, that wouldn’t be right. Technically he’d be on his rebound, and she didn’t deserve to be hurt. She was innocent, and was trying to help him. He couldn’t use her.
But who said he was using her? Maybe once he spent enough time with her, he’d fall in love with her. He could hope, right?
But no matter what he did, he knew he would never be over Billy. Nothing can keep you from the first true love of your life. However foolish he may be, he did not need to hurt someone who was his friend. She deserved better.
He made up his mind; he had to go back. He had to talk to Billy, to get it over with. Only then could he be freed of this cloud hanging over his head. Aimee would help him as much as she could. He would give Billy the letter, let him read it, and then argue his case. If Billy turned him down, Aimee and her friends would help. He turned another corner and was surprised to find that he had come in a circle; Cassie's house was now in front of him. Taking a deep breath, he walked back up the door and went in.
~~~~~
Billy watched as Dom exited in a rush, his hands shaking. Despite his anger, he felt a pang of sadness and guilt for the pain he had just caused his once best mate. Wait...once best mate? Who said they weren't best mates anymore? Was it possible for someone to be friends with a mate who's gay? Especially when one is straight? Or at least trying to be?
There it was. He was trying to be straight. Didn't mean he was, but he was sure as hell trying. For Allie. Wait...for Allie? Not for himself? He shook his head; no, not for himself. Well, maybe it was for himself, too. Was it?
He dropped back on the couch, slightly annoyed with the questions that were hitting him from every direction. He didn't notice when the three girls exited the room quietly, whispering and watching him.
He placed his head in his now shaking hands. What had he done? He had just hurt someone...and it was possible that this was a hurt that couldn't be healed so easily.
Normally he liked a challenge, and this was a challenge. But it was challenge that whatever way it turned out, he'd lose someone he loved. Loved? He loved Dom? Well, he loved Dom as a friend...just as a friend...right? He wasn't so sure anymore.
This challenge was horrible. It was like when a girl asked you to play football with her. If you beat her, then you are thought of as mean for not letting her win. If you lose, you are thought as a weakling. No way to win either way.
It was true that before he had met Allie, he had been having fleeting thoughts of doing naughty things with Dom. It was then he had to keep the word 'straight' in his mind and repeat it over and over whenever Dom was tempting him in his own way. Like when they were drunk; he could've done anything he wanted and blamed it on being drunk the next day. But he never did, because even when he was drunk, he was too shy to do anything to ruin their friendship.
At least, he had been to shy until now.
Now he had possibly ruined one of the best things ever to happen to him. No, he hadn't ruined it, Dom had. It wasn't his fault. It couldn't be. Billy never did anything wrong. It was Dom who people had to watch. You couldn't trust him. He could crush you in a moment, pop your ego, reach into your body and pull out your heart, ripping it to bits...
Or he could capture the heart with some of his magic charm.
No! He didn't...he couldn't...he was not in control of Billy's heart. Billy's heart belonged to Allie...he thought. Did it?
Damn it! Damn you, Dominic Monaghan! Damn you! Damn you for putting me through this, damn you! Billy thought. Why do you have to do this to me? I am weak, and you are strong. You put the burden you've been carrying on your shoulders for God knows how long onto mine, but I cannot handle it. I am not as strong as you are. Why did you do this to me?
Okay, now that you are ready to murder me…I have to find the rare time to write more. Haha, feel obliged to bombard me with your impatience…
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