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Title: Forget Me Not 2/2
Pairing: Dom/Miranda, Dom/Billy, Orlando/Elijah
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, *really* didn't happen.
Summary: Things and people can change in the blink of an eye.
Notes: Many huge thanks to![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
beizy, and shanalle for the beta-reads. Whee. Written for two lines.
Two weeks passed by with mostly the same events as the first day had presented to Billy. He attempted as best he could to school Dom’s memory back to what it had been, but most attempts ended in supreme failure. If it weren’t for the telephone calls to Orlando, all of Billy’s hopes may have been dashed.
“Nothing yet?” The same words always started the conversation, and they always came from Orlando. Billy shifted the phone in his hands and looked out to the deck where Dom was attempting yoga – on Billy’s suggestion.
“No,” Billy dully replied.
“But the doctors said that he could just wake up one morning and remember though!” Orlando reiterated – just like he always did – and Billy always agreed half-heartedly. With every conversation, Billy’s hope diminished a little more.
“Has Miranda called?” This question was always harder to answer.
“She calls every few days, but she never wants to speak to him.”
“I guess it’d be hard, seeing the person you love, but they don’t remember you.”
“Yeah,” Billy nodded as his throat constricted. He felt his body freeze up. “I bet it’s hard.”
“Anyway, keep working on him Bill. You’re our only hope,” Orlando signed off as usual. The sayings were just another indication that living with Elijah was getting to him in every possible way. They exchanged their goodbyes, and Billy lost himself in watching Dom perform the yoga positions in such a stiff and forgotten manner.
Dom finally seemed to give up on the movements. He got up from the mat, and turned around to frown at it. He met Billy’s gaze through the clear glass, and gave him a hopeless shrug in response to the inquisitive look Billy was shooting. Billy couldn’t help but lower his head in disappointment. All he wanted was Dom back. Was that really so much to ask?
Some nights, he even prayed – something he hadn’t done in years – that if Dom got his memory back, Billy would swear to let him and Miranda be. He would let the two have their happy existence, and wouldn’t pine over the man ever again if only the memory would return.
Either God had a very funny sense of humour, or fate was playing a hand as well, because day after day passed, and nothing ever changed.
Two days after the great yoga disaster, Billy came back from errands to find the flat was filled with a strange scent. He wandered in slowly and suspiciously – checking if anything was perhaps on fire – and dropped the bags in a little nook before following his nose into the kitchen.
When he arrived there, he found a figure through a smoky haze, surrounded by a seemingly endless row of pots and pans and food. Billy coughed as some of the smoke filled his mouth and nose, and he waved his hand to get a better image of what exactly was going on.
“Hi Billy!” an enthusiastic chirp came from the haze. Billy made his way to the back door and opened it up to let some of the smoke out. When some of it had cleared, he finally saw exactly what was going on, and it was one of the strangest things Billy had ever seen in his life.
Dom was standing in front of plentiful pots and pans, wearing one of the old aprons that a previous owner had left behind. Billy gave a curious furrow of his brow as he wandered into the preparation area. A smile graced his lips when he saw all the various things that were on the counter – a pot roast, potatoes, and there were signs that a dessert had been made.
“What is going on here?” Billy demanded, standing there and letting awe wash over him.
“Well, you’re taking care of me and all, and I wanted to show my appreciation, so I did this!” Dom spread his arms out wide, and after a moment, panic gripped at Billy. It must have been evident on his face, because Dom became very worried. “Is something wrong with it?”
“No, it’s not that.” Billy shook his head quickly. “I promise…it’s just that…well, Dom…I’ve known you for years now, and in all that time, you’ve never cooked anything that we’ve ingested.”
“Oh…” Dom commented in grand realization. “Maybe I’m a natural?”
“Well…” Billy began before a mischievous smirk lit up his face. “We could always invite Orlando and Elijah over to try it first!”
Dom laughed a little and – seemingly out of nowhere – he embraced Billy in a massive hug. Billy was taken back at first at the display of emotion – which, really was indeed characteristic of the old Dom. “You have the best ideas,” Dom commented before moving off to wash up in the bathroom.
The moment that Dom separated from him, there was a cold twitching at the back of Billy’s neck. He lightly touched his fingers there in confusion and when he brought them around to inspect, he gave a loud groan.
“Dom!” he yelled in frustration, and was rewarded with plentiful giggling.
All down his back was the quarter block of butter that Dom had slipped down there while in the midst of the hug. Billy felt a piece of hope running through him because this was exactly like something Dom would do. While Billy swore under his breath, he went for the phone to dial up the others.
Just that simple hint of Dom was enough to resurrect every single hope that had previously died and had left Billy hanging. When Orlando picked up the phone, Billy smiled and dove straight into the conversation, relaying the news of Dom’s prank. Hope, it seemed, would not be lost so easily.
Billy was sleeping quite peacefully when something began to rock him awake. His eyes opened slowly and at first, they only saw a silhouette in the darkness. He sat up cautiously and blinked until the figure came into focus.
“Dom?” he murmured and turned on the bedside light. Dom was kneeling beside the bed, fingers playing with the pool of covers. He avoided looking Billy in the eye, but one look at the clock showed Billy that the man was back to his late night wandering habits. The look on his face confirmed one of Billy’s deeper fears. The time for a serious discussion had come. “Are you all right?”
“Tell me about me,” Dom requested. “The personal stuff. I mean…tell me about her.”
Her. There was the one topic that Billy desperately wanted to avoid, and by the looks and sound of Dom, it seemed he was asking only because it was something that ought to be known by him. It was a fact, like the sky was blue and the ocean had water. Dom had a slight look of discontent to him.
“Miranda is amazing,” Billy settled for honesty. “You started dating her a few months ago, and you two seemed like this perfect couple,” he cleared his throat a little to allow better passage of air. “At least to me.”
“Right,” Dom went along with it, absorbing all the knowledge he could.
“She’s just afraid to talk to you on the phone,” Billy tried to explain. “She knows she’ll be hurt that you don’t remember. She…” he coughed again, delving into more personal areas that was simply harder for him to do. “She told me that the last thing she did before you went out on the waves and had the accident was kiss you, and now you don’t remember anything.”
“She sounds great,” Dom supplied.
“She is,” Billy sighed.
“Yeah,” Dom nodded, looking a bit wistful. Billy wondered how much it was causing the man pain to hear about all these things that he had but simply didn’t remember. Billy knew that if it were he, there would be a keen ache of loneliness that nothing could heal. “She isn’t you though,” Dom commented offhandedly.
“What?”
“I mean…you aren’t afraid. You say that you’re my best friend, but you aren’t afraid that I won’t remember you,” Dom explained slowly, trying to get a feel for his own logic. Billy shook his head.
“No Dom,” Billy softly commented. “That’s my biggest fear. It’s why I need to keep working with you. I need you back.”
“Yeah?” Again, there was that utter look of hope in his eyes.
“You’re my best mate, Dommie,” Billy nodded, and rested his hand atop Dom’s. “And more than that. You’re my Merry, my confidant, my friend, and just…I need you back.” He finished up with his voice dying in the room, knowing that Dom would not comprehend even a quarter of what he had just said.
Silence claimed the both of them while Dom’s eyes locked with Billy’s tired ones. After a moment in the dim lighting, Dom bit his lip and took a shaky breath. He looked conflicted and tired, and Billy wished against hope that his memory would just come back.
“I want to be those things,” Dom softly responded. “More than anything,” he swore.
“Me too Dom,” Billy played the responsible man. “Me too.”
The demanding ring of the phone awoke Billy the next morning. He cursed his entire way, very nearly crawling out of bed to find the portable device and only stopped swearing when he clicked the ‘talk’ button.
“Yeah?” he grunted.
“Billy,” the voice was feminine on the other end, and his name was nothing more than a statement. Billy rubbed his hair in an attempt to tame the inevitable bed head that he had gained while sleeping. “I need to tell you something.” The voice sounded like it had been crying.
“Miranda, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve been up all night thinking,” she cried miserably. There was a rustle on the other end of the line – akin to tissues – and then sniffles while Billy assumed that Miranda was blowing her nose. “I feel so guilty, and it’s all my fault!” Billy sat on the bed in confusion and out of the corner of his eye he caught Dom peering into the room.
“Why?”
“Because of what happened that day on the beach,” she whispered and Billy had to strain to hear her. There was a certain sinking feeling in the pit of Billy’s stomach. “I…I kissed him, and then I told him that we had to talk about our relationship. I told him that there would be a conversation about the end of it. I…if…I don’t think he would have been so careless if I hadn’t. Billy, I did this…”
“Miranda, shh…no,” Billy cut her off, horror dawning on him. “You didn’t make this happen. I know it.”
“It’s my fault,” she repeated quietly.
“No it isn’t,” Billy emphatically told her. “You had absolutely no idea that he would hit his head, all right? It is not your fault.”
“And now…Billy, I made such a mistake,” she sniffled again. “I just want him back now. I don’t even care if we’re together. I just want Dom back. I feel so horrible. It must be terrible for you.”
Billy neither confirmed nor denied her statement and instead sat there with a blank look on his face. He could see Dom inching into the room, trying desperately to get a better grasp on the situation, but all Billy could think about was the fact that their relationship had been about to end, and all to do with Miranda and Dom as a couple was to be forgotten.
Instead, Dom had just forgotten everything.
The covers on Billy’s bed were moving again, and he mumbled a small protest against the culprit, uttering such things as: ‘Some people need sleep, bastard.’ A general ‘oi’ was released when someone curled up against him. Finally, he moved from blurred reality into the authentic version of it, and woke up to see Dom gazing at him, beside him in the bed.
“What is it?” he murmured.
“Hi,” Dom commented and it sounded like he was undertaking a great task with that one word. Billy regarded him with great confusion and they stared at each other for a good length of time. During that time, Billy’s stomach flipped half a dozen times – at least – simply because it was Dom giving him that happy look, that half smile, and it was Dom. The only problem was that it was a Dom who didn’t remember.
“Hi,” Billy replied back.
“Um…” Dom said next, and before Billy could play the shadow game and utter an ‘um’ of his own, Dom leaned in and kissed Billy on the lips – tentatively and slowly – and Billy’s stomach flipped three dozen times in that brief span of time. Billy closed his eyes and simply embraced the sensation of Dom’s lips against his own and how it felt like everything he had been waiting for at last.
Only the memory that Dom had no such thing as memory made him pull away.
“Um…no,” he finally managed. He got out of the bed, and felt an instant chill from the room. He was only wearing his boxers and it seemed that Dom’s eyes were being drawn away from looking Billy in the eyes and they were looking lower. Billy took a deep breath and looked to the side, weighing his options.
“No?” Dom got to his knees in the bed.
“Dom, you don’t remember anything,” Billy told him.
“But I know what I feel!” Dom exclaimed. “So maybe I don’t remember things, but what about the fact that I know what my emotions are now? I know that I like you, I want you…hell, maybe I even love you. Give me another few days and I’ll tell you.”
Billy closed his eyes tightly and clenched his hands together as he felt his resolve crumbling. He heard the rustling of sheets and then there was a body pressing up against him. One of Dom’s fingers was aimlessly wandering around Billy’s chest hairs.
“Dom, please,” Billy pleaded. “I can’t take advantage of you like this,” he said in a low voice, taking deep breaths and gaining the strength to pull away once more. “You love Miranda,” he commented, unable to look him in the eye.
“I barely know her,” Dom scoffed. “But I do know you. I know how you look and how I love that. I love that look you get in your eyes whenever I do something that makes you laugh. And I love when you smile,” he went on, sporting a smile on his own. Billy faltered slightly at hearing the word ‘love’ come from Dom’s lips so many times in reference to him. “I love that you’re taking care of me.”
“Dom…”
“Please,” Dom cut him off now. “I want this,” he gave a petulant addendum.
“Not when you don’t remember,” Billy said gravely, and pulled a shirt over his bare chest. He paused in the doorway and cast his eyes on a broken Dom. “Take my bed and go to sleep, okay? You haven’t slept well since I brought you back from the hospital.”
“I know,” Dom dully replied. “It’s because there’s nothing. When I sleep, my mind goes blank.”
Billy cast his eyes downward and sighed. He grabbed a jacket and slipped pants and shoes on while thinking over where he could go. He leaned against the doorway as he pocketed his keys.
“Sleep here, and I promise I’ll be back in the morning,” he told Dom before shutting the door and making his escape out of the house. He knew in his mind that his feet were taking him towards Elijah’s place, but he cast absolutely no thought as to what route he took to get there.
He rapidly knocked on the door, unaware as to what the time was and with every second that passed, his knocks became more and more insistent. Finally, to his relief, the door was pulled open, and a sleep-addled Orlando stood there. Billy pushed right past him and headed straight for the empty couch.
“Sleeping here,” he grunted. Orlando shrugged and nodded. He closed the front door behind him and yawned as he made his way back to bed. Billy took off his shoes and crashed on the couch, unable to close his eyes, and unable to fall asleep.
When morning came, Billy still hadn’t slept a wink. Elijah passed him and didn’t acknowledge his presence. Billy figured that Orlando had briefed him and appreciation coursed through Billy when he saw the American pouring a third cup of coffee. Elijah handed Billy the cup and sat opposite him at the table. The two drank in complete silence for a good length of time. The steam had completely dissipated when the first utterance left Elijah’s mouth.
“What happened?” he asked quietly – aware that Orlando was still sleeping.
“He wants me,” Billy chuckled with bitter laughter. “All it took was amnesia.”
“Billy, you know you can’t…”
“And I didn’t,” Billy cut him off severely. “It took everything I had in me, but nothing happened.”
They sat in silent tableaux again and when Billy finished the coffee, he got up and stretched out his back. Elijah regarded him with worry as he sipped from his own cup and they both thought about the words they had just exchanged.
“I’m going to get back,” Billy muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want him to run.”
“Okay,” Elijah nodded. He hugged Billy before watching him leave the apartment. Billy closed the door gently behind him and made his way back to his own place in the bright light of the sun.
When Billy arrived home, it took quite a bit of willpower not to run away before he even opened the front door. His feet got to know the porch quite well in the duration he spent hesitating outside. Finally, his hand got the strength – although it was a shaky kind of strength – to open the door and make his way inside.
Once he did, he heard absolutely nothing – not a peep – and concern gripped him the instant he noticed the silence. He cautiously walked in and found Dom sitting cross-legged on the chair, wearing a grave expression on his face.
“Billy, sit,” he ordered. He didn’t smile, didn’t even give the hint that there would be a smile in the future. Suddenly, Billy felt more nervous than he had in ages. He flashed a brief smile and scratched at the side of his head before biting his tongue to avoid saying something stupid. “I mean it,” Dom went on, serious as ever.
“Dom, I should really go and…”
“If you don’t sit down and talk to me, I will tell both Elijah and Orlando exactly what you said about them while we filmed with Treebeard,” Dom said every word with a strained voice and his jaw seemed absolutely set in place. Billy’s eyes widened and he felt terror in the deepest ranks of his heart.
“Oh shite,” Billy swore. “Fucking hell…Dom?”
“Billy,” Dom relayed back. He had the same stone cold look on his face, but there was absolute familiarity to the name.
“Dom!” Billy exclaimed with excitement and abandoned all worry and anxiety to surround the man in a gigantic hug. Dom seemed to lighten for only a moment as Billy’s hands held Dom as tightly as they could. “Bastard. Don’t you dare ever do that to me again.”
“Not like I asked for it,” Dom responded with indignation. “Now, sit.”
This time, Billy did as told.
Dom exhaled deeply and fidgeted with his hands an ungodly length of time before he spoke any words. Billy was content to simply sit there in the familiar environment. Dom looked Billy straight in the eye.
“I called Miranda,” he told Billy, “and we’re meeting for lunch. She’s back in town.”
“Right,” Billy nodded, feeling his heart folding and breaking.
“And I’ll be back afterwards to get my stuff, all right?” Dom searched Billy’s eyes for some kind of reaction. “And then we can talk about things, okay? Is that all right?”
“Yeah.” Billy nodded. “Dom…do you…do you remember everything from when you couldn’t remember?”
Dom didn’t say anything; he merely got up and headed for the door – clasping a spare key in his hand, one that he and only he had known about. He smiled at Billy, who was still frozen in place, before walking out the door. When the door shut, silence reclaimed the entire room and Billy felt the world fall away under his feet.
He had a horrible feeling that he was watching Dom leave him in both senses of the word.
It was dark when the door opened and Dom came wandering in again. Billy was pleased not to be found for a good five minutes while Dom searched the house for him. When finally Dom found Billy on the deck outside, they locked eyes, and Billy felt guilt course through his blood.
“How’s Miranda?” Dom leaned on the railing and nodded a as he gazed out to the other houses and looked at the beach in the distance. He turned to speak to Billy and nodded a little more.
“She’s good,” Dom informed him. “Relieved.”
“I bet,” Billy said.
“Listen, Billy, we really do need to talk,” Dom pitched his voice a little bit lower and put a serious inflection into it. Billy coughed and inched further from Dom. He took advantage of the distracting night and stared out into the distance. “I mean it Billy, I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“I understand,” Billy said. “Listen, I know that you and Miranda are an item again, so I’m just going to head to bed, because I haven’t slept in a day or two.”
“Billy,” Dom laughed a little with a ringing backbone of ‘silly Billy’.
“Dom, maybe you should just…um…go,” Billy stuttered.
“Um…no?” Dom repeated with a little laugh. “Billy, we broke up.”
“You did?” Billy’s voice echoed with confusion. “When I spoke with her on the phone the other day, she seemed more than anything to want you back. I don’t understand…did something else happen?”
“I broke up with her,” Dom explained.
“Oh,” Billy remarked. “Why?” he asked, lost in the entire proceedings and feeling that he was not understanding a key link in the process. Dom gave him a disbelieving look before shaking his head ever so slowly and sympathetically. “Dom?”
“Sometimes you’re a daft idiot Bills,” Dom accused him with a pitiful smile.
“I’m the idiot?” Billy scoffed.
“Well, you’re asking me why I broke up with her, and the answer is right in front of my eyes,” Dom stated slowly and tried to get every single word through Billy’s brain. Billy stood there and let everything sink in and when the words ‘in front of my eyes’ tumbled into his ears, his jaw dropped.
“Me?” Billy voiced in doubt.
“Idiot,” Dom rolled his eyes.
“Me?” Billy asked again, and Dom slowly closed the distance between them and put a finger to Billy’s lips – effectively silencing the man. Billy gave him a fearful look while Dom merely closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Billy’s. Billy gave in to the kiss, his back arching in need and want, and then Dom pulled away a miniscule amount of space.
“You,” Dom confirmed.
“Huh…” Billy said with pleasant shock. “Don’t you go forgetting that,” he lowly added in a growl of a murmur and Dom slung his arm around Billy and draped himself all over the man.
“Trust me when I say, I really don’t intend to,” he winked and led both their bodies inside – never breaking physical contact once.
end
Pairing: Dom/Miranda, Dom/Billy, Orlando/Elijah
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: Not mine, *really* didn't happen.
Summary: Things and people can change in the blink of an eye.
Notes: Many huge thanks to
beizy, and shanalle for the beta-reads. Whee. Written for two lines.Two weeks passed by with mostly the same events as the first day had presented to Billy. He attempted as best he could to school Dom’s memory back to what it had been, but most attempts ended in supreme failure. If it weren’t for the telephone calls to Orlando, all of Billy’s hopes may have been dashed.
“Nothing yet?” The same words always started the conversation, and they always came from Orlando. Billy shifted the phone in his hands and looked out to the deck where Dom was attempting yoga – on Billy’s suggestion.
“No,” Billy dully replied.
“But the doctors said that he could just wake up one morning and remember though!” Orlando reiterated – just like he always did – and Billy always agreed half-heartedly. With every conversation, Billy’s hope diminished a little more.
“Has Miranda called?” This question was always harder to answer.
“She calls every few days, but she never wants to speak to him.”
“I guess it’d be hard, seeing the person you love, but they don’t remember you.”
“Yeah,” Billy nodded as his throat constricted. He felt his body freeze up. “I bet it’s hard.”
“Anyway, keep working on him Bill. You’re our only hope,” Orlando signed off as usual. The sayings were just another indication that living with Elijah was getting to him in every possible way. They exchanged their goodbyes, and Billy lost himself in watching Dom perform the yoga positions in such a stiff and forgotten manner.
Dom finally seemed to give up on the movements. He got up from the mat, and turned around to frown at it. He met Billy’s gaze through the clear glass, and gave him a hopeless shrug in response to the inquisitive look Billy was shooting. Billy couldn’t help but lower his head in disappointment. All he wanted was Dom back. Was that really so much to ask?
Some nights, he even prayed – something he hadn’t done in years – that if Dom got his memory back, Billy would swear to let him and Miranda be. He would let the two have their happy existence, and wouldn’t pine over the man ever again if only the memory would return.
Either God had a very funny sense of humour, or fate was playing a hand as well, because day after day passed, and nothing ever changed.
Two days after the great yoga disaster, Billy came back from errands to find the flat was filled with a strange scent. He wandered in slowly and suspiciously – checking if anything was perhaps on fire – and dropped the bags in a little nook before following his nose into the kitchen.
When he arrived there, he found a figure through a smoky haze, surrounded by a seemingly endless row of pots and pans and food. Billy coughed as some of the smoke filled his mouth and nose, and he waved his hand to get a better image of what exactly was going on.
“Hi Billy!” an enthusiastic chirp came from the haze. Billy made his way to the back door and opened it up to let some of the smoke out. When some of it had cleared, he finally saw exactly what was going on, and it was one of the strangest things Billy had ever seen in his life.
Dom was standing in front of plentiful pots and pans, wearing one of the old aprons that a previous owner had left behind. Billy gave a curious furrow of his brow as he wandered into the preparation area. A smile graced his lips when he saw all the various things that were on the counter – a pot roast, potatoes, and there were signs that a dessert had been made.
“What is going on here?” Billy demanded, standing there and letting awe wash over him.
“Well, you’re taking care of me and all, and I wanted to show my appreciation, so I did this!” Dom spread his arms out wide, and after a moment, panic gripped at Billy. It must have been evident on his face, because Dom became very worried. “Is something wrong with it?”
“No, it’s not that.” Billy shook his head quickly. “I promise…it’s just that…well, Dom…I’ve known you for years now, and in all that time, you’ve never cooked anything that we’ve ingested.”
“Oh…” Dom commented in grand realization. “Maybe I’m a natural?”
“Well…” Billy began before a mischievous smirk lit up his face. “We could always invite Orlando and Elijah over to try it first!”
Dom laughed a little and – seemingly out of nowhere – he embraced Billy in a massive hug. Billy was taken back at first at the display of emotion – which, really was indeed characteristic of the old Dom. “You have the best ideas,” Dom commented before moving off to wash up in the bathroom.
The moment that Dom separated from him, there was a cold twitching at the back of Billy’s neck. He lightly touched his fingers there in confusion and when he brought them around to inspect, he gave a loud groan.
“Dom!” he yelled in frustration, and was rewarded with plentiful giggling.
All down his back was the quarter block of butter that Dom had slipped down there while in the midst of the hug. Billy felt a piece of hope running through him because this was exactly like something Dom would do. While Billy swore under his breath, he went for the phone to dial up the others.
Just that simple hint of Dom was enough to resurrect every single hope that had previously died and had left Billy hanging. When Orlando picked up the phone, Billy smiled and dove straight into the conversation, relaying the news of Dom’s prank. Hope, it seemed, would not be lost so easily.
Billy was sleeping quite peacefully when something began to rock him awake. His eyes opened slowly and at first, they only saw a silhouette in the darkness. He sat up cautiously and blinked until the figure came into focus.
“Dom?” he murmured and turned on the bedside light. Dom was kneeling beside the bed, fingers playing with the pool of covers. He avoided looking Billy in the eye, but one look at the clock showed Billy that the man was back to his late night wandering habits. The look on his face confirmed one of Billy’s deeper fears. The time for a serious discussion had come. “Are you all right?”
“Tell me about me,” Dom requested. “The personal stuff. I mean…tell me about her.”
Her. There was the one topic that Billy desperately wanted to avoid, and by the looks and sound of Dom, it seemed he was asking only because it was something that ought to be known by him. It was a fact, like the sky was blue and the ocean had water. Dom had a slight look of discontent to him.
“Miranda is amazing,” Billy settled for honesty. “You started dating her a few months ago, and you two seemed like this perfect couple,” he cleared his throat a little to allow better passage of air. “At least to me.”
“Right,” Dom went along with it, absorbing all the knowledge he could.
“She’s just afraid to talk to you on the phone,” Billy tried to explain. “She knows she’ll be hurt that you don’t remember. She…” he coughed again, delving into more personal areas that was simply harder for him to do. “She told me that the last thing she did before you went out on the waves and had the accident was kiss you, and now you don’t remember anything.”
“She sounds great,” Dom supplied.
“She is,” Billy sighed.
“Yeah,” Dom nodded, looking a bit wistful. Billy wondered how much it was causing the man pain to hear about all these things that he had but simply didn’t remember. Billy knew that if it were he, there would be a keen ache of loneliness that nothing could heal. “She isn’t you though,” Dom commented offhandedly.
“What?”
“I mean…you aren’t afraid. You say that you’re my best friend, but you aren’t afraid that I won’t remember you,” Dom explained slowly, trying to get a feel for his own logic. Billy shook his head.
“No Dom,” Billy softly commented. “That’s my biggest fear. It’s why I need to keep working with you. I need you back.”
“Yeah?” Again, there was that utter look of hope in his eyes.
“You’re my best mate, Dommie,” Billy nodded, and rested his hand atop Dom’s. “And more than that. You’re my Merry, my confidant, my friend, and just…I need you back.” He finished up with his voice dying in the room, knowing that Dom would not comprehend even a quarter of what he had just said.
Silence claimed the both of them while Dom’s eyes locked with Billy’s tired ones. After a moment in the dim lighting, Dom bit his lip and took a shaky breath. He looked conflicted and tired, and Billy wished against hope that his memory would just come back.
“I want to be those things,” Dom softly responded. “More than anything,” he swore.
“Me too Dom,” Billy played the responsible man. “Me too.”
The demanding ring of the phone awoke Billy the next morning. He cursed his entire way, very nearly crawling out of bed to find the portable device and only stopped swearing when he clicked the ‘talk’ button.
“Yeah?” he grunted.
“Billy,” the voice was feminine on the other end, and his name was nothing more than a statement. Billy rubbed his hair in an attempt to tame the inevitable bed head that he had gained while sleeping. “I need to tell you something.” The voice sounded like it had been crying.
“Miranda, what’s wrong?”
“I’ve been up all night thinking,” she cried miserably. There was a rustle on the other end of the line – akin to tissues – and then sniffles while Billy assumed that Miranda was blowing her nose. “I feel so guilty, and it’s all my fault!” Billy sat on the bed in confusion and out of the corner of his eye he caught Dom peering into the room.
“Why?”
“Because of what happened that day on the beach,” she whispered and Billy had to strain to hear her. There was a certain sinking feeling in the pit of Billy’s stomach. “I…I kissed him, and then I told him that we had to talk about our relationship. I told him that there would be a conversation about the end of it. I…if…I don’t think he would have been so careless if I hadn’t. Billy, I did this…”
“Miranda, shh…no,” Billy cut her off, horror dawning on him. “You didn’t make this happen. I know it.”
“It’s my fault,” she repeated quietly.
“No it isn’t,” Billy emphatically told her. “You had absolutely no idea that he would hit his head, all right? It is not your fault.”
“And now…Billy, I made such a mistake,” she sniffled again. “I just want him back now. I don’t even care if we’re together. I just want Dom back. I feel so horrible. It must be terrible for you.”
Billy neither confirmed nor denied her statement and instead sat there with a blank look on his face. He could see Dom inching into the room, trying desperately to get a better grasp on the situation, but all Billy could think about was the fact that their relationship had been about to end, and all to do with Miranda and Dom as a couple was to be forgotten.
Instead, Dom had just forgotten everything.
The covers on Billy’s bed were moving again, and he mumbled a small protest against the culprit, uttering such things as: ‘Some people need sleep, bastard.’ A general ‘oi’ was released when someone curled up against him. Finally, he moved from blurred reality into the authentic version of it, and woke up to see Dom gazing at him, beside him in the bed.
“What is it?” he murmured.
“Hi,” Dom commented and it sounded like he was undertaking a great task with that one word. Billy regarded him with great confusion and they stared at each other for a good length of time. During that time, Billy’s stomach flipped half a dozen times – at least – simply because it was Dom giving him that happy look, that half smile, and it was Dom. The only problem was that it was a Dom who didn’t remember.
“Hi,” Billy replied back.
“Um…” Dom said next, and before Billy could play the shadow game and utter an ‘um’ of his own, Dom leaned in and kissed Billy on the lips – tentatively and slowly – and Billy’s stomach flipped three dozen times in that brief span of time. Billy closed his eyes and simply embraced the sensation of Dom’s lips against his own and how it felt like everything he had been waiting for at last.
Only the memory that Dom had no such thing as memory made him pull away.
“Um…no,” he finally managed. He got out of the bed, and felt an instant chill from the room. He was only wearing his boxers and it seemed that Dom’s eyes were being drawn away from looking Billy in the eyes and they were looking lower. Billy took a deep breath and looked to the side, weighing his options.
“No?” Dom got to his knees in the bed.
“Dom, you don’t remember anything,” Billy told him.
“But I know what I feel!” Dom exclaimed. “So maybe I don’t remember things, but what about the fact that I know what my emotions are now? I know that I like you, I want you…hell, maybe I even love you. Give me another few days and I’ll tell you.”
Billy closed his eyes tightly and clenched his hands together as he felt his resolve crumbling. He heard the rustling of sheets and then there was a body pressing up against him. One of Dom’s fingers was aimlessly wandering around Billy’s chest hairs.
“Dom, please,” Billy pleaded. “I can’t take advantage of you like this,” he said in a low voice, taking deep breaths and gaining the strength to pull away once more. “You love Miranda,” he commented, unable to look him in the eye.
“I barely know her,” Dom scoffed. “But I do know you. I know how you look and how I love that. I love that look you get in your eyes whenever I do something that makes you laugh. And I love when you smile,” he went on, sporting a smile on his own. Billy faltered slightly at hearing the word ‘love’ come from Dom’s lips so many times in reference to him. “I love that you’re taking care of me.”
“Dom…”
“Please,” Dom cut him off now. “I want this,” he gave a petulant addendum.
“Not when you don’t remember,” Billy said gravely, and pulled a shirt over his bare chest. He paused in the doorway and cast his eyes on a broken Dom. “Take my bed and go to sleep, okay? You haven’t slept well since I brought you back from the hospital.”
“I know,” Dom dully replied. “It’s because there’s nothing. When I sleep, my mind goes blank.”
Billy cast his eyes downward and sighed. He grabbed a jacket and slipped pants and shoes on while thinking over where he could go. He leaned against the doorway as he pocketed his keys.
“Sleep here, and I promise I’ll be back in the morning,” he told Dom before shutting the door and making his escape out of the house. He knew in his mind that his feet were taking him towards Elijah’s place, but he cast absolutely no thought as to what route he took to get there.
He rapidly knocked on the door, unaware as to what the time was and with every second that passed, his knocks became more and more insistent. Finally, to his relief, the door was pulled open, and a sleep-addled Orlando stood there. Billy pushed right past him and headed straight for the empty couch.
“Sleeping here,” he grunted. Orlando shrugged and nodded. He closed the front door behind him and yawned as he made his way back to bed. Billy took off his shoes and crashed on the couch, unable to close his eyes, and unable to fall asleep.
When morning came, Billy still hadn’t slept a wink. Elijah passed him and didn’t acknowledge his presence. Billy figured that Orlando had briefed him and appreciation coursed through Billy when he saw the American pouring a third cup of coffee. Elijah handed Billy the cup and sat opposite him at the table. The two drank in complete silence for a good length of time. The steam had completely dissipated when the first utterance left Elijah’s mouth.
“What happened?” he asked quietly – aware that Orlando was still sleeping.
“He wants me,” Billy chuckled with bitter laughter. “All it took was amnesia.”
“Billy, you know you can’t…”
“And I didn’t,” Billy cut him off severely. “It took everything I had in me, but nothing happened.”
They sat in silent tableaux again and when Billy finished the coffee, he got up and stretched out his back. Elijah regarded him with worry as he sipped from his own cup and they both thought about the words they had just exchanged.
“I’m going to get back,” Billy muttered, running a hand through his hair. “I don’t want him to run.”
“Okay,” Elijah nodded. He hugged Billy before watching him leave the apartment. Billy closed the door gently behind him and made his way back to his own place in the bright light of the sun.
When Billy arrived home, it took quite a bit of willpower not to run away before he even opened the front door. His feet got to know the porch quite well in the duration he spent hesitating outside. Finally, his hand got the strength – although it was a shaky kind of strength – to open the door and make his way inside.
Once he did, he heard absolutely nothing – not a peep – and concern gripped him the instant he noticed the silence. He cautiously walked in and found Dom sitting cross-legged on the chair, wearing a grave expression on his face.
“Billy, sit,” he ordered. He didn’t smile, didn’t even give the hint that there would be a smile in the future. Suddenly, Billy felt more nervous than he had in ages. He flashed a brief smile and scratched at the side of his head before biting his tongue to avoid saying something stupid. “I mean it,” Dom went on, serious as ever.
“Dom, I should really go and…”
“If you don’t sit down and talk to me, I will tell both Elijah and Orlando exactly what you said about them while we filmed with Treebeard,” Dom said every word with a strained voice and his jaw seemed absolutely set in place. Billy’s eyes widened and he felt terror in the deepest ranks of his heart.
“Oh shite,” Billy swore. “Fucking hell…Dom?”
“Billy,” Dom relayed back. He had the same stone cold look on his face, but there was absolute familiarity to the name.
“Dom!” Billy exclaimed with excitement and abandoned all worry and anxiety to surround the man in a gigantic hug. Dom seemed to lighten for only a moment as Billy’s hands held Dom as tightly as they could. “Bastard. Don’t you dare ever do that to me again.”
“Not like I asked for it,” Dom responded with indignation. “Now, sit.”
This time, Billy did as told.
Dom exhaled deeply and fidgeted with his hands an ungodly length of time before he spoke any words. Billy was content to simply sit there in the familiar environment. Dom looked Billy straight in the eye.
“I called Miranda,” he told Billy, “and we’re meeting for lunch. She’s back in town.”
“Right,” Billy nodded, feeling his heart folding and breaking.
“And I’ll be back afterwards to get my stuff, all right?” Dom searched Billy’s eyes for some kind of reaction. “And then we can talk about things, okay? Is that all right?”
“Yeah.” Billy nodded. “Dom…do you…do you remember everything from when you couldn’t remember?”
Dom didn’t say anything; he merely got up and headed for the door – clasping a spare key in his hand, one that he and only he had known about. He smiled at Billy, who was still frozen in place, before walking out the door. When the door shut, silence reclaimed the entire room and Billy felt the world fall away under his feet.
He had a horrible feeling that he was watching Dom leave him in both senses of the word.
It was dark when the door opened and Dom came wandering in again. Billy was pleased not to be found for a good five minutes while Dom searched the house for him. When finally Dom found Billy on the deck outside, they locked eyes, and Billy felt guilt course through his blood.
“How’s Miranda?” Dom leaned on the railing and nodded a as he gazed out to the other houses and looked at the beach in the distance. He turned to speak to Billy and nodded a little more.
“She’s good,” Dom informed him. “Relieved.”
“I bet,” Billy said.
“Listen, Billy, we really do need to talk,” Dom pitched his voice a little bit lower and put a serious inflection into it. Billy coughed and inched further from Dom. He took advantage of the distracting night and stared out into the distance. “I mean it Billy, I don’t want to ruin our friendship.”
“I understand,” Billy said. “Listen, I know that you and Miranda are an item again, so I’m just going to head to bed, because I haven’t slept in a day or two.”
“Billy,” Dom laughed a little with a ringing backbone of ‘silly Billy’.
“Dom, maybe you should just…um…go,” Billy stuttered.
“Um…no?” Dom repeated with a little laugh. “Billy, we broke up.”
“You did?” Billy’s voice echoed with confusion. “When I spoke with her on the phone the other day, she seemed more than anything to want you back. I don’t understand…did something else happen?”
“I broke up with her,” Dom explained.
“Oh,” Billy remarked. “Why?” he asked, lost in the entire proceedings and feeling that he was not understanding a key link in the process. Dom gave him a disbelieving look before shaking his head ever so slowly and sympathetically. “Dom?”
“Sometimes you’re a daft idiot Bills,” Dom accused him with a pitiful smile.
“I’m the idiot?” Billy scoffed.
“Well, you’re asking me why I broke up with her, and the answer is right in front of my eyes,” Dom stated slowly and tried to get every single word through Billy’s brain. Billy stood there and let everything sink in and when the words ‘in front of my eyes’ tumbled into his ears, his jaw dropped.
“Me?” Billy voiced in doubt.
“Idiot,” Dom rolled his eyes.
“Me?” Billy asked again, and Dom slowly closed the distance between them and put a finger to Billy’s lips – effectively silencing the man. Billy gave him a fearful look while Dom merely closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Billy’s. Billy gave in to the kiss, his back arching in need and want, and then Dom pulled away a miniscule amount of space.
“You,” Dom confirmed.
“Huh…” Billy said with pleasant shock. “Don’t you go forgetting that,” he lowly added in a growl of a murmur and Dom slung his arm around Billy and draped himself all over the man.
“Trust me when I say, I really don’t intend to,” he winked and led both their bodies inside – never breaking physical contact once.
end
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Thank you so much for reading.