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[jettabug.livejournal.com]

Title: Imitation Of Life: Part Four
Author: jettabug
Rating: R for swearing
0Feedback: Please!
Author's Notes: Bunny [domslover], you're too special and amazing for words. Thank you for being my angel.
Summary: Part Four. This is the last part in the series, thank you to all who have read it an enjoyed it.

Part One | Part Two | Part Three



Imitation Of Life: Part Four
by Jenna

“I hurt all over, Dom.”

I stroked Billy’s face. “I know you do…let me call the nurse.”

Billy grabbed my arm. “No don’t do that, Dommie. They’ll give me needles.”

I dropped the call button and settled back onto my bed, taking Billy’s hand in mine. “I really thought I was gonna lose you.”

Billy sighed. “I thought this was it,” he admitted. “When I saw that car…”

“You’re very lucky.”

“Aye, indeed I am.” He coughed. “Do I look bad?”

“Kinda.”

“Really bad?”

I shook my head. “Not as bad as I thought you’d look. Just scrapes and bumps everywhere.”

“I just hurt from my hair to my toes.”

I reached out tentatively and brushed my hand across Billy’s face, as if to make sure he was really there, that I was really talking to him.

“Dommie? What’s a matter?” he asked, reaching out his other hand to touch my hair. “You’re crying.”

I sniffed. “There’s just so much I need to say to you, Bill…”

He smiled weakly at me. “Like what?”

I took a deep breath. Time to take the bull by the horns. “We’re best mates, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“And you know how much I love you, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

“Well…” I trailed off as the door opened and Dr Tethers came in, arm full of supplies.

“Morning,” she said, setting down her medical stuff.

“Uh, hi.”

She walked over to the other side of Billy’s bed. “I’m Dr Tethers.”

“Hullo,” he said, giving her a smile.

“That friend of your has been by your side for three days.”

“Three days?” Billy asked with surprise. “I’ve been here for three days?”

Dr Tethers nodded as she wrote some figures down on her clipboard.

I moved away from them and took a chair near the door, wondering how to form the speech to tell Billy just how I felt.

Dr Tethers and Billy talked about what had happened for a few moments before she gave him some painkillers, then she motioned me over.

“Let’s get a look at that ankle.”

I sat back up on my bed and let her take a look at the wrappings.

“Dom!” Billy exclaimed. “What happened?”

“Just a little glass, that’s all.”

I felt Billy’s hand snake into mine and squeeze reassuringly as Dr Tethers poked around the wound with her tweezers.

“It looks good,” she determined at last, placing a fresh gauze pad over the stitches.

I leant back against my pillows, Billy’s hand still in mine.

“I’ll get some food sent up for the two of you, ok?” she asked, packing up her supplies.

I nodded.

She excused herself and I turned back to Billy.

“What have I missed in the last three days?” he asked, as his fingers began to glide over my hand.

A shiver flew up my spine and I tried to concentrate. “Not much. I haven’t left this hospital room.”

Bill winced as he tried to shift. “I hate it here, already,” he admitted. “I’ve been awake what, half an hour and I already hate how creepy it feels in here. Can’t believe you’ve done it for three days.”

“Come on,” I said. “It was you, Bills. There was no way I was leaving.”

“You could’ve left.”

“Bollocks. No way was I missing the chance to have you wake up to my face.”

Billy grinned. “Why do you feel the need to torture me, Dommie?”

I smiled and struggled to find the right words. “Nearly losing you made me realise something…”

“Oh?”

I cleared my throat, and as if the Gods were against me, Orlando pushed his way into the room.

“You look like the living dead!” he told Billy, leaning over his bed to hug him.

“You look gay,” Billy responded, taking in Orlando’s tight jeans and white t-shirt.

Orli rolled his eyes and sat himself down on my bed, flashing me a smile.

I smiled back and settled into my pillows.

Orlando and Billy talked for a bit until Billy’s yawns became more and more frequent.

“Am I boring you?” Orlando asked with a grin.

Billy yawned. “No, doctor gave me pain medicine, possibly laced with chloroform.”

Orlando laughed. “Don’t let me keep you awake. Sleep.”

Billy nodded and his eyes slid closed and then he started to snore.

“What’s with you, you’re awfully quiet? I thought you’d be over the moon Bills is awake.”

I shrugged. “ I am. It’s just…I’m afraid I’m going to lose my nerve and not be able to tell him how I feel.”

“Ah.”

“I mean, I know I need to tell him, yeah, but it’s just finding the words that won’t freak him out.”

Orlando ran a finger over his pursed lips, a thoughtful expression on his face. “I don’t think you freaking him out will be a problem.”

I frowned. “What are you talking about?”

Orli sat up. “He’s your best mate, Dom. And he’s Billy. Have you ever seen him wig about anything?”

“No,” I admitted.

“Remember when Ian kissed him?”

I nodded. Billy had kissed him back and spent the whole night talking in a gay voice and telling everyone they were lovers.

“Bills is not the kind of guy to freak about this kinda thing.”

“’Spose not.”

Orlando and I spent the next hour talking about everything. He was quickly becoming a pillar of support, something I never knew Orli could be.

“I should go,” he said after we had a cup of coffee. “Elijah needs my help picking out a new couch.”

“Why is he buying a new couch?”

Orlando shrugged and got up off my bed. “He’s Elijah, he doesn’t need a reason.”

I laughed and waved Orlando goodbye, turning back to look at Billy.

It surprised me to see his eyes open, looking up at me.

“How long you been listening?” I accused, turning onto my side to face him.

“Not long,” he admitted. He rubbed his eyes sleepily.

“How are you feeling?”

Billy shrugged, shifting slightly. “Ok, I guess. Just a little sore.”

“I’ve missed you, Bills.”

He smiled. “Ditto.” He cleared his throat. “What were we talking about before Orlando interrupted us?”

I froze. I didn’t expect Billy to remember.

“Uh, we were just talking about…um…”

Billy’s hand found mine. “Nervous much?”

I smiled weakly and searched my mind for something to say. Nothing came.

“You had realised something?”

I took a deep breath. “I was just saying how nearly losing you reminded me how much I need you.”

Billy nodded. “I’m sorry to put you through all this, Dommie.”

I shook my head. “I’m not looking for an apology…I guess, I just really need to say some things.”

Billy looked at me, slightly confused and squeezed my hand. “I’m listening.”

I exhaled deeply and looked at Billy. “Nearly losing my best friend made me realise that you are my best friend, Billy. I don’t think I could have lived much of a life without you by my side. I don’t know how I lived up until meeting you in 2000. But I do know, that after nearly losing you, after feeling so amazingly sad and helpless, I realised that you…you’re just so…”

“What, Dommie? What is it?”

“You’re just so special to me, Bill.” I felt the tears spill out. “You’re just this wonderful person, who I can’t imagine living without. I prayed that so many times it was me instead of you. I prayed that if I had just gotten the chips myself, or if we’d just gotten a pizza, you would be fine.”

“Dommie, this wasn’t your fault.”

I drew in a shaky breath. “I know that, now. Now that I can look at you, and touch your face, and see you smile and watch you live. Now that I can see you being you I know it wasn’t my fault. Wasn’t your fault. I just…came so close to not having my Billy that…it was just a time of revelations, you know?”

Billy nodded. “I understand what you’re saying, Dom. The thought of losing you…just…blows me away.”

“You have to promise me that you’re not gonna leave me,” I told him softly. “You have to promise we’ll be friends forever.”

Billy pulled me forward, so he was hugging me against his chest. He kissed my forehead and hair over and over. “Of course, Dommie. We’ll be together forever.”

I hugged him, softly, so I wouldn’t hurt him, and I cried into his chest. “There’s something, else, Bills.”

He let me go and I sat up. “I-I came to a decision, when I first saw you in here. So much it me all at once, I knew I had to tell you the things I’ve kept bottled up inside.”

He squeezed my hand.

“Billy, I love you.”

“I love you.”

“No, Billy. I love you.”

“Oh.”

“Billy!”

I looked up, startled, as Elijah bounded into the room, followed by Orlando who threw me a sheepish look.

“What are you doing here?” I demanded.

“I wanted to see Bills,” Elijah explained, like it was the simplest answer in the world. “You can’t keep me away, Monaghan.”

Orlando pulled up a chair beside my bed. “Sorry, man, he practically took the steering wheel from me and made me bring him here.”

I opened my mouth and then shut it again. “Uh…that’s…ok…”

Orlando shot me a confused look as Elijah was fawning over Billy.

“How’s the leg? You had us all worried. Viggo was all angsty, more so than usual, we were all really upset that Dom wouldn’t let us in to see you. You look really crappy, how do you feel? Head hurt?”

“Elijah…” I called. “Give him a break, ok?”

Elijah shot me a look and turned back to Billy.

“I’m fine, Elijah,” he answered, as if he was talking to a child. “A little worn out.”

Elijah nodded. “But you’re awake.”

“Uh, yes,” Billy agreed. “But you’re sitting on my IV tube.”

Elijah sprang up off the bed and took a few steps back. “Sorry,” he mumbled.

“I thought you were going couch shopping?” I demanded.

Elijah shrugged. “I wanted to see Billy.”

Orlando stood up. “And now that you have, we need to go.”

“Aww, why?”

“Because.” I waved Elijah’s way as Orlando steered him from the room.

“That kid has to be at least 90% caffeine.”

I nodded. “Or 90% crack.”

Billy chuckled and looked at me. “How long are we not gonna talk about what we’re not talking about?”

I smiled nervously. “I can do this all day, how ‘bout you?”

He put his hand on mine. “Dom…”

“No. Don’t speak,” I told him, turning around so I was facing him. “Don’t say anything, because I don’t know if I can bear hearing you reject me right now. After all that’s happened, after being by your side for days, not knowing if you were gonna ever wake up, after crying myself to sleep because I wasn’t sure I’d ever get to talk to you again, after all this, I don’t think I could handle you letting me down. I just wanted you to know, is all. I promised myself I’d tell you if you woke up and you did, so now you know, which means I kept my promise…”

“Dom…Dom, stop talking,” Billy demanded, taking both my hands in his.

“Ok,” I told him and shut my mouth, looking down at his hands holding mine. At the IV needle in the back of his left hand, the tube coming out of it lead into a machine that was steadily feeding Billy morphine and anti-infection medicine.

“Now I need to speak.”

I nodded and waited for the blow.

“Granted, I haven’t spent the last three days in your position. But listening to you talk about losing me, makes me realise how I would feel if I lost you. Dominic, if you only knew how special you are…” He took a deep breath. “You’re my best friend, the most wonderful person I’ve ever known. You’re funny, sensitive, talented, kind…but most of all, you’re just you.”

I watched his face in concentration.

“You have this easy way of talking, of expressing yourself. I can look into your eyes and know exactly what you’re thinking. You’re just so…amazing. There are really no other words.”

“But…”

Billy shook his head. “No ‘buts’ or ‘ifs’ or ‘whys’. I’ve been blessed enough to know your for two years now, the best of my life. We’ve been through everything. We’ve cried together, laughed together, plotted together. You’re essentially the other half of me.”

Tears rolled down my face as he spoke.

“And while I admit your confession took my by surprise, that doesn’t mean I don’t feel the same way.”

I felt my mouth drop open. “Wh-what?”

“I think in the back of my mind I’ve always loved you, like that. Since the first time I met you when you gave me a big hug. Since the first scene we did together when you helped me up out of the mud after I fell over. It’s always been in the back of my mind that you’re this person I can’t live without. Maybe I’ve been too scared all these years to do what you’ve done. To tell you how I feel. I admire that you took the first step, Dommie.”

“But…”

“Wait.” Billy wiped his palms on his sheets. “What I’m trying to say is that I love you, Dom. Because of who you are, because of how you make me feel, I love you because you’re you and you make me happy.”

I felt my body crumple, like I was suddenly jelly, and I leant forward and crushed my lips against Billy’s, softly. I kissed him passionately, my hands on his cheeks, holding him close.

He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tight.

“I love you,” I whispered against his lips.

He let me go and looked into my eyes. “How about next movie night we get chocolate instead of chips?”

Cross posted to: jettabug & fellow_shippers