With A Little Help From My Friends

[dylan-dufresne.livejournal.com]

Title: With A Little Help From My Friends - 45/47
Author: dylan_dufresne
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: Flirting with R.
Summary: Apologies, a change of scenery, and a promise.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated as it’s my drug of choice. Many thanks to my beta, frojane.
Special Thanks: To loki_girl for the exquisite banner that she has created, and to tarnishedhalo for loaning me her inspirational manip for the centerpiece. I am so thankful and appreciative of you both, and your generosity.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. This is my imagination at work.
A/N: Warning of angst. Sorry.
A/N 2: Sleeping in is a beautiful thing. You get to benefit from my desire to do so. Enjoy.
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44


Chapter 45

Hand in hand, Orlando and Viggo make their way down the wide hallway towards Dom’s hospital room, unsure of what to make of the phone call that had come just an hour ago. Since he’s been visiting every day, Orlando was less surprised by the request for a visit; it was the very specific request that Viggo accompany him that raised an eyebrow. This could be good or bad news, and they’re about to find out which.

Feeling the growing tension radiating through Viggo’s body, Orlando pulls them to a stop and turns to face the older man.

“I-”

“Don’t say it’s going to be fine,” Viggo interrupts. “We don’t know that.”

“Vig, I don’t think Dom would ask you to come, just to make you feel worse,” Orlando replies quietly.

Viggo closes his eyes for a moment, stands up straight, and exhales sharply. “Okay, Let’s go.”

“Okay,” Orlando says quietly before pushing open the door and walking into the familiar room.

When he spots Billy sitting at Dom’s bedside, their fingers entwined and heads close together as they talk in low voices, he stops short, causing Viggo to stumble behind him. At the commotion, Dom looks over and smiles.

“There you are.”

“This is a surprise,” Orlando says, when he regains the ability to speak. “Hi Billy.”

“Happy New Year.”

Orlando returns Billy’s gentle smile. “To you as well.”

“I was hoping that you’d do me a favor,” Billy continues as he rises from the chair he’s been sitting in. “Keep Dom company for a bit? Vig and I need to talk.”

“Sure,” Orlando agrees quickly, relieved that the couple have sorted out the issues that kept them apart. “Of course.”

Watching the scene before him like it’s a movie, and that he’s not part of it, Viggo can’t make himself speak.

Billy gazes down at his lover fondly, and leans over to brush a kiss across his lips. “I won’t be long.”

“Okay.”

“Orli, they upped his pain medication this morning so he’s a bit sleepy,” Billy explains. “If he drops off for a nap, don’t be concerned about it.”

“All right. Thank you.”

Knowing that Viggo hasn’t said a word since they entered the room, Orlando turns to face the older man, giving his hand a gentle squeeze. “It’s okay,” he whispers, and then kisses his cheek. “Have a little faith.”

Jerking his chin in a quick nod, Viggo then follows Billy out of Dom’s hospital room, Orlando watching until the door clicks shut.

“So,” he says, turning to face the bed. “It would seem that you had a busy night, or morning, I suppose.”

Dom smiles, and nods in agreement. “You were right.”

“I was?” Orlando asks mildly, sinking into the chair beside the bed. “About what?”

“Billy.”

“Oh, that. Well, that’s hardly a surprise,” Orlando announces, and smiles as Dom laughs.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“Hungry?” Billy asks, glancing over at Viggo as they move away from Dom’s room. “Thirsty?”

“No. M’fine.”

When they come to an open seating area in an alcove, Billy leads them over to a couch by the window and sits down, watching expectantly until Viggo does the same. A long, uncomfortable moment passes, and then both men decide to speak. At the same time.

“I’m sor-”

“Vig, I-”

Both stopping abruptly, they can’t help the awkward smiles that flash across their faces.

“Can I go first?” Billy asks once the silence has settled over them again.

Wordlessly, Viggo nods.

“I’m sorry,” Billy begins, his head bowed slightly, but his eyes on Viggo. “I shouldn’t have said those things to you, blamed you for-”

“It’s okay,” Viggo interrupts quickly. “It was my fault.”

“No, Vig,” Billy corrects. “It was an accident, one that you couldn’t have known was going to happen. Dr. Millar wasn’t supposed to be there that early. I know you never would’ve wanted Dom to be hurt like that.”

“No,” Viggo confirms. “I wouldn’t.”

“I’m sorry,” Billy repeats. “And I hope you can forgive me. I hope that I haven’t completely bolloxed up a really good friendship.”

“Bill, I-”

“I know this is really bad timing, and I’ll understand if you don’t want to do it,” Billy rushes to add on. “But I have to ask for a favor.”

“What do you need?”

“Dom’s struggling, understandably,” Billy explains. “I need to show him, convince him that we still work; that with some adjustments, we can have a good life. I want to show him that we belong together.”

“He called you,” Viggo says softly. “You’re talking. That’s a good sign.”

“Aye, it is. I missed him.”

“So what do you need me to do?” the older man asks, meeting and holding Billy’s gaze without fear for the first time that day.

“I need someone to teach me everything I’ll need to know to take care of him,” Billy says earnestly. “I was hoping that you’d be that person. Tell me what to expect, what to do, what not to do, and how to let him be Dom. As much as possible, anyway.”

Viggo can’t hide the surprise in his tone. “Me?”

“You’re my best mate, and one of the best doctor’s I’ve ever known,” Billy says quietly, and then bites down on his lower lip for a moment. “At least, I’m hoping we’re still mates.”

“Of course we are,” Viggo tells him, the words out of his mouth before they register in his mind, but he doesn’t regret them. He spoke from the heart, and meant every word. “Bill, I-”

“So you’ll do it?” Billy whispers, tentatively sliding across the couch a few inches, closing the distance between them. “You’ll help me?”

“I’ll do everything I can.”

“Thank you.”

“What are friends for?” Viggo asks, and then reaches over to hug the Scotsman, overcome with relief.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

“I feel like a right wanker,” Dom complains with an exaggerated pout. “I finally get to see you for more than ten minutes, and it’s the day you go home. With Mum and Dad heading back to Manchester in a few days, it feels like everybody is leaving. Then again, it’s my own bloody fault.”

“At least we got to have a long visit this afternoon, yeah?” Maggie asks gently. “And we can talk on the phone.”

“Yeah.”

“I’m just glad that you and Billy are doing better,” Maggie adds. “I’ll be able to sleep at night, and not worry about you two.”

“I’m sorry about that,” Dom tells her, the cheek gone from his voice and shame coloring his cheeks. “Really.”

“You were trying to do what you thought was right, however misguided, so I forgive you,” Maggie replies lightly. “It’s done with now, and it’s time to move on.”

“Clearly, you’ve been talking to Billy,” Dom says wryly.

“Aye, I have,” she confirms. “He’s getting back to himself, and that’s why I feel it’s okay for me to go home. You two need your privacy, you’ve got good people close by if you need anything, and you know that I’m just a phone call away. If you need me, I’ll be here.”

“Billy mentioned going up for a visit this summer,” Dom adds, doing his best to hide his concern at the idea of traveling, now that he’s far less mobile than he was on previous trips.

“You know you’re welcome anytime, but right now you need to get well.”

“I’m trying,” Dom murmurs.

“One day at a time is all you have to manage, Dom,” Maggie says gently, leaning in closer. “And remember that Billy loves you. Always.”

At the thought of his partner, Dom can’t help but smile. “Believe me, he’ll never let me forget it,” he tells her. “Ever.”

“As well he should.”

“Did I hear my name?” Billy inquires as he steps into the room, arching a speculative eyebrow.

“Not everything is about you, Bills,” Dom teases, tipping up his chin and inviting Billy’s kiss as the older man draws close.

“Says the bloke with a healthy ego,” Billy retorts with a grin, letting the back pack slung over his good shoulder slide down his arm to his feet.

Their lips meet briefly, eliciting a soft murmur of pleasure from Dom, and when they part, Billy turns his attention to his sister.

“It’s after half six.”

“I know,” Maggie replies with a sigh.

“If you want to catch that train-”

“Aye. We need to go.”

For Maggie’s benefit, Dom tries to smile. “I guess this is goodbye?”

“Just for now,” Maggie corrects. “I’ll see you both soon, yeah?”

“This summer for sure,” Billy promises. “We’ll get there.”

Maggie leans over, drawing Dom close for a lingering hug, and it’s after she finally pulls back that she reluctantly reaches for her winter coat.

“Coming back later?” Dom asks Billy, their fingers clasped loosely together.

“Aye, just long enough to pick you up,” Billy confirms, watching the surprise and confusion overtake Dom’s face.

“What?”

Smiling, Billy reaches down, picks up the back pack he brought, reaches inside and produces several articles of clothing that Dom recognizes as his own. His navy blue yoga pants, a Beatles t-shirt and his favorite zippered jumper, to be exact. “You’re coming home tonight,” he announces.

“But-”

“I managed to convince Dr. Millar that a night out of here would be good for you,” Billy adds. “At first he said no, but then I had a volunteer to take over your medical care for the night, to be close by in case you need anything.”

“I don’t-”

“Vig’s going to stay in the guest room,” Billy explains. “Since Maggie’s going home, we have a vacancy.”

“But you don’t have to leave,” Dom protests, looking to Maggie apologetically. “Mags-”

“I promise you, I’m not being chased away, Dom,” she tells him. “I need to get back to Glasgow, and knowing that you’ll be home tonight, the two of you together, makes it easier for me to go.”

“Okay,” Dom says reluctantly. “If you’re sure.”

“I am.”

“Mags, we have to go,” Billy says quietly, eyeing his wristwatch. “I’ll be back in about an hour, Dommie.”

“Okay.”

Waving goodbye, Dom smiles until the door closes, and then he gnaws on his lower lip. He hadn’t expected to face going home to the book shop for quite some time. The fact that it’s tonight fills him with trepidation. Why now? Why is Billy insisting that he come to the flat so soon? Is this some kind of a test run, to see how things will work? To see if it’s possible?

As the minutes tick by, Dom’s mind races faster and faster, until the nurse arrives with his dinner tray and evening dose of medication. Thankfully, the pain has decreased significantly over the last week, muscles in his mid and lower back finally starting to relax, and Dom has even begun not to dread the daily massages. The only thing that would make the required therapy better is if Billy was the one touching him, but for now that’s not possible, and Billy’s cast isn’t due to come off for another couple of weeks.

Eager for something to distract him, Dom focuses on his dinner, even though he’s not the least bit hungry now, and prays for the nervous butterflies in his belly to calm before Billy’s return. Perhaps things will go better than expected. It’s also possible, Dom realizes, that Billy’s already made some changes, and wants to show him. Surely he wouldn’t go to all this trouble if it were bad news.

That’s the thought Dom clings to as he picks disinterestedly at his plate, trying to visualize tonight as a beacon of hope. A new beginning, like Billy said before. Even though Dom does his best, the dark cloud of doubt refuses to leave his mind, casting an ominous shadow over everything and increasing his anxiety.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

While Billy’s dropping off Maggie at the train station, Dom manages to pull his t-shirt on, his hospital gown continuing to shield his lower half. He’s just not ready to show anyone, especially Billy, the scar now bisecting his abdomen. The yoga he’d devoted hours to each week now feels like a waste, as the muscles have softened because of his inactivity, and there’s no amount of exercise that’ll make this scar disappear. Who will want to look at his body now?

It surprises Dom how exhausting it is, just putting on a shirt, and is dozing when Billy returns, a feathery kiss to his lips rousing him from his dreams. Getting into his yoga pants proves to be a much more difficult task, as Dom is unable to assist in any way. Angie is called in to help, and also fits Dom with a more portable catheter than the one he’s been attached to since his surgery.

The humiliation of knowing that he can’t even do something as simple and private as urinate on his own causes embarrassment to color Dom’s cheeks, and he looks away as the collection bag is secured to his calf. He’s grateful when Billy doesn’t tell him the lie that it’s okay, and instead squeezes his hand in a silent show of support. It’s just one more thing on an already long list of things that they’ll have to get used to.

Mustering up a brave face, Dom smiles at Viggo when he arrives, thankful that no time is wasted getting him out of the hospital. Billy sits with him in the back seat of Viggo’s car, the seat belt placed low on Dom’s hips as to not aggravate his belly, and the older man laces the fingers of his right hand with Dom’s left. Even though he tries several times, Dom is unable to allow himself to relax, the uncertainty of what tonight means crashing over him in waves. It’s only a short ride until they're pulling into the alley behind the book shop, and then Viggo is ever so gently cradling Dom in his arms, carrying him up the stairs to the flat above.

“Are you comfortable?” Viggo asks after carefully lowering Dom to the mattress and arranging several pillows behind his back to support him.

“M’fine. Thank you.”

Closing his eyes, Dom inhales, mindful of his healing belly, taking in the familiar scent of the room he and Billy share. It’s been weeks since he’s been within the four walls, and has missed them more than he ever thought was possible.

“You all right, Dom?” Billy asks, laying their jackets down in the chair in the corner and watching the younger man’s eyes closely.

“Yeah.”

“Well, I’ll just leave you two alone,” Viggo says, stepping back from the bed and glancing over at the door. “If you need anything, I’ll be right down the hall.”

“If you get hungry-”

“I know where the fridge is, Bill,” Viggo interrupts with a smile. “I’ll be fine.”

“Vig, thanks again,” Billy tells him. “We really appreciate this.”

“I know. Have a good night,” the doctor adds, and then slips out of the bedroom, quietly closing the door behind him.

Dom watches as Billy heels off his shoes and then stretches out on the mattress beside him, close enough that their elbows touch.

“So, what do you feel like doing?” Dom asks, a fresh wave of anxiety rising up inside him. “Want to watch a movie? See if there’s something on the telly? I’ve been reading that book you gave me on-”

“Dommie,” Billy interrupts gently, reaching over and pressing a finger to his lips to quiet him. “We’re home, in our bed, for the first time in over a month. We don’t have to worry about nurses walking in or visitors dropping by unexpectedly. We’re finally alone.”

“I know,” Dom replies when Billy moves his hand away.

“Do you really want to stare at the television?” Billy adds, his voice suddenly low and hoarse with desire. “To be honest, love, I had something very different in mind.”

Wide-eyed, his breath suddenly uneven, Dom watches Billy lean over him and bring their mouths together for a tender, sensuous kiss, eyelids fluttering closed as a pointy tongue delves between his parted lips. There is no urgency in the intimate affection; the kiss almost lazy, but only in its speed. The heated passion beneath the surface of the contact causes Dom’s heart to flutter with excitement, just like it did when he and Billy first became a couple, and every day he experienced something new with regards to love. Overcome, long fingers slide through the ginger hair at the nape of Billy’s neck, Dom whimpering his pleasure as he returns Billy’s kiss with equal fervor.

For a moment, he feels Billy smile, and then they’re swept away. Tongues tangle eagerly, thrusting hungrily, lips growing rosy and swollen amid the murmurs of mutual enjoyment, and when they finally come up for air, Dom is dizzy. The sensation of Billy’s hand cradling the vulnerable curve of his neck and holding him close causes Dom to smile dreamily, as it’s familiar, and feels so natural. When he finally manages to focus, he looks up to find Billy gazing at him, and his deep green eyes are glittering.

“There you are,” Billy murmurs under his breath, staring the pouty curve of Dom’s lower lip and licking his own lips in anticipation. “There’s my Dommeh.”

“Bills-”

Before Dom can say another word, he’s pressed into the softness of the pillows beneath him, their mouths fusing together hotly, the lover’s craving one another’s touch so much that it’s nearly overwhelming. A ragged moan bubbles up in Dom’s throat, and then he’s clutching desperately at Billy’s shirt to keep their bodies as close as possible. Teeth nibble gently, tasting and teasing, both men gasping from breath, but they refuse to part for even a second.

“Oh God,” Dom gasps when the older man focuses his attention on the smooth column of his neck, nipping gently at the tendon and then soothing the resulting red marks with his pointy tongue.

“Missed you,” Billy murmurs before pressing his lips to Dom’s throbbing pulse. “I missed holding you; touching you.”

“I’m already yours, you know,” Dom adds with a soft, breathless laugh. “No need to mark me.”

“Want me to stop?” Billy asks, burying his nose into the curve of Dom’s neck and inhaling the scent of his arousal.

“Never.”

“Good.”

Shifting higher on the bed, Billy braces his weight on the mattress with his good hand and dives in for another lusty kiss, hearing Dom’s moan of pleasure when their tongues touch. Dom tips his head to one side to encourage Billy, deepening the connection, and as they continue to drown themselves in one another, a hand slides down Billy’s chest, coming to rest in his lap. So caught up in worshipping Dom’s gorgeous, wet mouth, Billy doesn’t realize what is happening until his trousers are unzipped and long, elegant fingers are curling around his throbbing erection.

“Dommeh,” he gasps, hips bucking, startled by the touch because he wasn’t expecting it. “What-”

“You’re so hard, Bills,” Dom says, breathing hotly against the scruffy line of Billy’s jaw while he pumps his fist a few times and then draws his fingers across the sensitive tip of his lover’s arousal in a tantalizing caress.

“Oh fuck,” Billy pants, the desire he’d been trying to contain all but exploding through his body at the intimate touch. “Dommeh-”

“Is my hand okay, or do you want my mouth?” Dom whispers in Billy’s ear, lapping at the fleshy lobe. “I can try to suck you if you want. If you get on your knees-”

Drawing on every ounce of strength he’s got left, Billy firmly pushes Dom’s hand away and grounds out two words. “Dom, stop.”

“What’s wrong?” Dom asks quickly as he pulls back, brow furrowed in confusion. “I thought-”

“That’s not why I brought you here,” Billy explains when Dom trails off, attempting to catch his breath and force back the waves of lust so he can think. His heart sinks as he realizes that Dom is now averting his eyes, his shoulders tense. “I didn’t expect you to do that tonight, or any night for that matter.”

“I don’t understand,” Dom replies, staring at the corner of the bed sheet covering him and refusing to meet Billy’s gaze. “You said we were alone, and then we were kissing. I just assumed that this is what you wanted.”

“I wanted us to be together, in a familiar place,” Billy continues, drawing his small fingers through the younger man’s silky hair. “I thought you’d feel safe here. Home. In our bed.”

“Oh.” Clearing his throat, Dom scratches absently at a scruffy cheek and glances down. “Well, since I’m here, and you’re-”

“Thank you, but no,” Billy interrupts gently, shaking his head.

“But-”

“We’ll have plenty of time to find new ways of touching each other.” Billy tells him, dipping his head and capturing Dom’s mouth in a soft kiss. “There’s no hurry.”

“Shouldn’t we see if it’s possible before- You know-”

Frowning, Billy tucks himself back into his trousers and pushes himself up into a sitting position before focusing on the other man. “Before what, Dom?” he presses. “In a few days you’ll be moving to a rehab hospital, and when you get out of there, you’ll be home; right where you belong.”

“But what if I can’t give you what you want?” Dom whispers, gnawing on his lower lip. “Shouldn’t we get that sorted before-”

“Dominic Monaghan, you will be coming home,” Billy states firmly, cupping Dom’s chin and raising it until their eyes meet. “The question as to whether or not we can engage in some sort of sexual activity will have nothing to do with that decision.”

“But-”

“No buts,” Billy interrupts, his expression growing incredulous. “After all this time, after everything we’ve been through together, how can you think so little of me?”

Shame causes Dom to flinch and he tries to move, but Billy simply holds his chin in place, refusing to let him look away. “I didn’t mean it that way,” he protests weakly. “I just-”

“I’m insulted by the insinuation that you think I would leave you if you couldn’t perform sexually,” Billy presses on heatedly, determined to make his point stick, once and for all. “If the trade off of never having another orgasm as long as I bloody live means that I get to grow old with you, I’m taking that deal and saying thank you very much.”

Hearing his lover state the worst case scenario so bluntly, with such clear intention of them being together for the rest of their lives, causes the tears that Dom’s valiantly been holding back to push past his eyelids, blurring his vision. Bowing his head and shutting his eyes tight, the brave façade Dom has been desperately clinging to crumbles, and he doesn’t resist when Billy lies down beside him and gathers him close.

“Bills-”

“You’ve got to be the most stubborn bloke I’ve ever met,” Billy murmurs into Dom’s mussed hair, his tone now gentle again. “When are you going to accept that you’re not alone in this?”

“But this isn’t what you signed on for,” Dom rasps in reply, his nose tucked into the side of Billy’s neck. “You seem to think that we’ll be able to have sex again in some form, down the road, and you’re wrong. We are never going to be like we were.”

“Dom-”

“No. Listen to me,” Dom says firmly as he pulls back. “You need to realize what it’s going to mean for you. It’s not as simple as the fact that I won’t be able to make love to you. If it just meant that I couldn’t top, I could learn to deal with that, eventually, and I’d hope that you could, too, but that’s not the case.”

“I know-”

“Do you?” Dom blurts out heatedly. “I’m hooked up to a catheter twenty-four hours a day. I piss into a plastic bag, and that’s the more pleasant of the two procedures that’ll have to be taken care of every single day for the rest of my life.” Breath catching in his throat, Dom swallows hard in an attempt to pull himself together. “I won’t be able to bottom for you, never mind that I wouldn’t be able to feel you inside me.”

“There are other ways to be close, Dommie,” Billy says quietly, his eyes damp as well. “I don’t want to give up on us.”

“The best I can offer you is a hand job or to suck you off. That’s it,” Dom states bluntly, letting the words pour out in a painful rush as his head dips. “We’re back to where we started, and I’m fucking terrified that you’re going to make a bunch of changes, thinking that things are going to be just fine, and then hate me for what you gave up so we could stay together.”

To Dom’s surprise, Billy doesn’t immediately refute his concerns, and instead feels the older man pull back and tenderly nudge him under his chin, urging his gaze higher until their eyes meet. Drawing in an unsteady breath, Dom waits for Billy to speak, and when his mouth starts to open, Dom’s belly clenches.

“When are you going to stop threatening to leave me?” Billy asks quietly, the pain in his voice almost palpable. “Do you not realize how much that hurts me?”

“I’m trying to protect you,” Dom whispers, guilt causing his chest to ache. “Help you.”

“You want to help me? Then you need to ask me what I need instead of presuming you know what I’m thinking and feeling.”

“Okay,” Dom replies, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. “What do you need from me?”

“I’d like you to make me a promise,” Billy reveals, releasing Dom’s chin. “If you can.”

“It’s not very often you ask me to do that,” Dom tells him, wondering what Billy is getting at. “It’s been years, I think.”

“Aye, only when it’s very important,” Billy readily agrees.

“What is it?”

“First, I’d like to remind you of a promise I made you a long time ago,” Billy says quietly. “The morning after you decided to tell your Mum and Dad the truth, and Dr. Tyler had come by the flat to see you.”

Lips pressed together, Dom nods. “I remember that.”

“For as long as there is breath in my body, I will fight for you. For us,” Billy quotes, his voice hoarse. “For as long as you love me, and want me by your side, I will be there. No matter what.”

“Bills-” Reaching out, Dom cups Billy’s face in his hands and brushes a thumb across his cheek, unable to form the words for a response worthy of such a declaration.

“I meant every word that day, and I still mean them,” Billy finishes, his eyes dropping closed as he leans in until their foreheads touch. “I know about the catheter and all the rest of it. I’m not being naïve, Dommie. Things are going to have to change, but I accept that, because I can’t even think about going on without you. Not after I just got you back.”

“B-”

“Do you believe that? Can you promise me that-”

“Yes,” Dom interrupts with a barely restrained sob. “I’ll never say it again. Ever.”

“Promise me?” Billy whispers. “Please?”

When his chin is gently nudged higher, Billy opens his eyes to find Dom gazing at him intently. “I promise,” Dom says gently, his eyes soft and his words clear. “You and me, together. No matter what.”

“All right then,” Billy replies, relief causing the tension in his shoulders to begin to dissipate. “That’s a good start.”

“I don’t know why you put up with me,” Dom comments, the wonder clear in his expression as he shakes his head, watching Billy reach down and pull up the tartan blanket at the foot of the bed to cover them.

“You, Dominic, are a first rate daftie,” Billy declares, his eyes overflowing with emotion. “But you know what? You’re my daftie. Mine. Do you hear me?”

Wordlessly, Dom nods.

“We’ve got a second chance here, and I’m not going to let it go to waste,” Billy continues, cradling Dom’s hands to his chest. “I’m not doing this because I think I have to, Dommie. I want us to be together, and I’ll do whatever I have to do to get that.”

“And what if costs you the shop?” Dom says bluntly. “I can’t handle being responsible for that. The book shop was your dream long before you met me.”

“What does one have to do with the other?” Billy asks with one eyebrow arched. “We may decide moving to a ground floor flat will be better, or into a building with a lift, so you can get around easier, but that doesn’t have anything to do with the book shop.”

“It’ll take money to move,” Dom points out. “Plus the additional expense of having a flat away from the shop. Plus, I don’t know when I’m going to be able to work again. ”

“When I thought you might die, I would’ve paid anything, made any deal,” Billy confesses, fingertips sliding along the curve of Dom’s palm and down his slender wrist. “The book shop was the last thing on my mind. All I cared about was you. Without you, the shop would just be a reminder of what we used to have. What I lost.”

“Bills-”

“I know there’ll be some tough times ahead, but whatever is it, we can handle it,” Billy continues, his eyes imploring. “The book shop is doing really well. Insurance covered the damages, and the doors were open again in record time, because of you and Mark. Business is good, and I’ve even got a new employee to help me out.”

“Drew’s doing okay?

“Aye. He’s young, but he’s eager to learn,” Billy replies. “He reminds me a wee bit of you, actually.”

“It’ll be strange,” Dom comments softly, glancing around the room. “Not living here anymore.”

“I know.”

“Five years of memories.”

“Good memories,” Billy corrects. “Pancake breakfasts, soaking in the tub together, eating takeaway in bed-”

“And firsts,” Dom adds with a wistful smile. “So many firsts.”

“The journal is in my night stand, if you want to read it,” Billy says quietly. “I, uh, I looked at it quite a bit while you-”

Cutting off his lover’s words with a soft kiss, Dom curls further into Billy’s embrace, long fingers repeatedly stroking the length of Billy’s neck.

“We’ll make new memories, yeah?” he whispers against Billy cherubic lips when they part for breath.

“Aye, we will.”

After Billy turns off the light on the night stand, the couple settles into a comfortable position, Billy’s cast under the pillow they now share, and Dom’s head is tucked under Billy’s chin. Arms wind around one another, small fingers pressed to the small of Dom’s slender back, and Billy has to strain to hear Dom speak.

“I’m scared, Bills. I’m so scared.”

“I know, love. It’s all right,” Billy soothes. “We’ll get through it.”

Emotionally drained, Dom sinks limply into Billy’s embrace, allowing the older man to share the weight of the burdens resting on his narrow shoulders.

“As long as we’re together,” he whispers, and then surrenders to the soothing caresses to his back, drifting off to sleep.

A tender kiss is pressed to Dom’s forehead, and then Billy closes his eyes, feeling hopeful that he’s finally gotten through to Dom. He smiles at the sensation of Dom’s fingers splayed over his heart, and then gives in to his exhaustion, letting his dreams take him.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

It’s the sound of Dom’s unsteady breath and sniffling that pulls Billy from a peaceful sleep, and when he feels tears dampening his t-shirt, his eyes flash wide.

“Dommie? What’s wrong?” Billy asks quickly. “Are you in pain?”

“No, I’m okay,” Dom replies as he shakes his head, his voice trembling. “It’s-”

“Do I need to get Viggo?”

“No.”

“What’s wrong then? Bad dream?” Billy presses, utterly baffled as to why Dom is crying in the middle of the night. “What is it?”

“Your hand,” Dom whispers as he looks up to meet Billy’s concerned gaze in the moonlight, almost as though he’s afraid to say the words out loud. “Your hand is on my arse.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t realize that- Wait.” Billy’s eyes widen, his heart suddenly pounding in his chest. “You can feel my hand?”

“Yes,” Dom replies. “I woke up and-”

Experimentally, Billy gives the sweet curve a gentle squeeze, listening as Dom squeaks with surprise and then chokes out a breathless laugh, both men trying to process what has just happened. For the first time in over a month, there is a possibility that Dom’s future isn’t as bleak as once thought.

“Bills?”

“What?”

“Pinch me,” Dom requests, uncertainty rolling off him in waves. “If I’m dreaming-”

“Then we’re having the same dream, Dommie,” Billy interrupts, capturing Dom’s mouth in a prolonged kiss.

Relief flows over the couple, and the kissing continues until joy bubbles up in Dom’s throat to fill the quiet.

“I can’t believe it,” Dom murmurs, smiling as Billy tenderly wipes away the dampness clinging to his cheeks. “I just-”

“Never thought it would happen,” Billy supplies. “But it did.”

“I’m so glad I’m here,” Dom tells him and then tugs Billy closer. “With you.”

“Me too, love.”

“Want you closer,” Dom whispers, wanting to erase the distance between their bodies and have Billy pressed against him. “Touching me.”

“We could turn you and spoon,” Billy suggests, nuzzling the younger man affectionately. “I could hold you. Would you like that?”

“I’d love it.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Chapter 46