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dylan-dufresne.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Aug. 17th, 2007 07:00 am)Title: With A Little Help From My Friends - 43/47
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dylan_dufresne
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG-14, ish.
Summary: An unexpected gift, a difficult discovery, and the loss the hope.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated as it’s my drug of choice. Many thanks to my beta,frojane.
Special Thanks: Toloki_girl for the exquisite banner that she has created, and to tarnishedhalo for loaning me her inspirational manip for the centerpiece. I am so thankful and appreciative of you both, and your generosity.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. This is my imagination at work.
A/N: Do I really need to say it? Okay. Warning of angst. Don’t forget your kleenex, just in case.
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42
Chapter 43
Moving briskly down the hall towards Dom’s hospital room, a duffle bag under each arm, Orlando takes a quick look around and then slips inside, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He had intended to visit earlier today, but work prevented it, thanks to new clients as a result of the rush of pets received as Christmas presents and the rapidly approaching New Year. Each day Orlando’s made it a priority to visit Dom, especially on Christmas, knowing that it had to be a difficult day to spend apart from Billy. Even with his parents close by, nothing can fill that immense void. Now, it’s nearly half six, and this is his first opportunity to sneak away to the hospital.
“Hi there,” he says to Dom in greeting, moving over to the side of the bed and shrugging out of his heavy coat.
“Hey,” Dom replies flatly.
Orlando picks up on Dom’s mood immediately, and leans closer, head tipped to one side. “Bad day?”
“If I ever hear the words function or evaluate ever again, it’ll be bloody well too soon,” Dom spits out, his mouth set into a hard line.
“More tests, I take it?”
“Ever heard of the Asia scale?” Dom asks with an arched brow. “After today, I know more about it than I ever wanted to. Could write a bloody book about it if I could be arsed.”
“So they’ve rated you,” Orlando deduces, nodding to indicate that he’s familiar with the terminology. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Rated me? I wish,” Dom complains bitterly. “Then it would be over and done with. No such luck, They’re debating.”
“What do you mean?”
“For two bloody hours I was poked and prodded all over the sodding place,” Dom explains. “Kept asking me if I could feel anything. Then they got into sensory and motor function.”
“So what’s the problem?” Orlando inquires. “Why are they debating?”
Dom sighs and scratches absently at his mussed hair. “Dr. Millar says I’m somewhere between Asia C and D, because there are inconsistencies. Apparently, I’m right in the middle, because the sensation in the muscles on my left side is higher than the right side. So, they’ve got me on a new drug that’s supposed to help with the swelling, and they’ll do the test again next week. In the meantime, I have to wait.”
“Bloody hell,” Orlando curses under his breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” Dom sighs and shifts his head, trying to find a more comfortable position on the pillow. “He started talking about hip extensors and sacral functions, whatever the hell those are, and I wanted to scream. When he finally left, I was relieved.”
“What’s the drug?”
“Amnio- something,” Dom replies with a shrug. “Supposedly, I’ll be less sleepy.”
“Well that’s not a bad thing, yeah?” Orlando says, trying to smile a wee bit.
“That’s debatable when there’s nothing good on the telly.”
“Very true,” Orlando agrees. “I brought you something, and after the day you’ve had, I’m really glad I did.”
“Puppy?” Dom says hopefully.
“Yeah, she’s sleeping right now,” the veterinarian tells him. “But that’s not the surprise.”
“What is it?” Dom asks warily, glancing over at the door with suspicion, fearing that he’s about to get another visitor.
“I wouldn’t do that, Dom,” Orlando says quietly, following his line of thinking. “I haven’t told anyone that I’ve been visiting you.”
“Nobody?”
Silently, the other man shakes his head.
“So what’s the surprise?”
Opening the duffle bag sitting next to his right foot, Orlando produces several small white cardboard boxes. “Are you hungry?”
“You brought Thai takeaway?” Dom gasps after sniffing the air.
“I stopped off and picked up your favorites. Gang Gai, Pad Thai, and Nua Kem,” Orlando confirms. “I requested it extra mild since you’re still recovering from surgery, but I thought you’d like a change from hospital food.”
For the first time since entering the hospital, Dom shows interest in eating, and when Orlando offers him a pair of chopsticks, he quietly accepts them.
“Chicken or beef?” Orlando asks, holding up both boxes. “Or you can start with the noodles if you prefer.”
“Gang Gai,” Dom decides, cradling the open box of curried chicken in the palm of his hand before using the chopsticks to guide some into his mouth.
For several minutes they don’t speak, occasionally offering boxes of food to one another, until Dom shakes his head, signaling that he’s had enough. While he doesn’t eat as much as Orlando hoped for, it’s the most he’s seen Dom eat in a long time.
“Thank you,” Dom says quietly. “That was good.”
“You’re welcome. When you get out of here, we’ll go have a celebratory dinner,” Orlando replies. “If you want.”
Dom makes a sound that Orlando can’t quite decipher, but wisely doesn’t press for an explanation. Instead, he packs up the half empty takeaway containers and tucks them into the duffle bag at his feet to be discarded later before moving his attention to his other side. A moment later, a sleepy puppy is being transferred to Dom’s care.
“Hello, little one,” Dom murmurs gently, setting the ball of fur over his heart and rubbing his cheek against the puppy’s small head. “I missed you.”
“She really likes you,” Orlando comments with a smile when the animal yawns widely, burrows into Dom’s tender touch and affectionately licks the tips of his fingers. “I haven’t seen her respond to anyone but you this way.”
“She doesn’t ask for much,” Dom replies quietly, stroking the puppy’s head. “She’s just happy to be held.”
“Animals aren’t complicated,” Orlando agrees. “So different from humans.”
“Yeah.”
Sitting back in his chair, Orlando watches the sight before him, not failing to notice the heavy sadness weighing on Dom’s shoulders, or the brightness in his eyes. The ten days since getting out of ICU have taken their toll, and Dom’s holding on by a thread, clearly in desperate need of distraction. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, he needs to forget.
“When was the last time you washed your hair? Orlando asks suddenly, startling Dom and causing him to look up.
“What?”
“You’ve been practically living at the hospital since the book shop was damaged,” Orlando explains. “I can’t imagine you had much opportunity to wash up since you were shot.”
“I, uh-” Dom frowns and then gnaws on his lower lip. “I’ve been getting sponge baths every other day, but as for my hair, I don’t remember.”
“My mum’s a big believer in clean hair,” Orlando reveals, drawing long fingers through long, dark strands as he smiles at the memory. “When I’d have a bad day, she’d tell me to take a shower and then tackle whatever the problem was. It sounds silly, I know, but it always worked for me. Even today, I use that piece of advice.”
“I like to take hot baths,” Dom replies. “Reminds me of when Billy and I-”
At the pained look in Dom’s eyes, the other man winces. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t know.”
“I just thought you might like to have your hair washed,” Orlando finishes lamely. “If you wanted, I could do it for you.”
“But I’m rather stuck in this bed,” Dom says dryly.
“I’m aware of that, but it won’t be a problem. Yes or no?” Orlando prompts.
Dom purses his lips together for a moment, and then nods. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
“All right, then. You keep an eye on the little princess, and I’ll be right back,” Orlando says, carefully shifting the bed sheet to hide the sight of the puppy from anyone who may look into the room while the door is open.
“Okay.”
To Dom’s surprise, Orlando returns to his room in just a couple of minutes with two small blue pails in one hand, and a long, shallow white tray in the other.
“I just double checked with the nurse to make sure I can lay you flat for this,” he says. “Don’t want to cause any trouble with your incision.”
“It’s okay?”
“Yeah,” Orlando confirms. “But if it starts to pull, I can raise your legs a little. Just tell me, okay?”
“Yeah.”
Orlando disappears into the loo, the taps running for a few minutes, and the he returns with a nearly full pail of water and a plastic cup, a towel slung over his shoulder. Reaching over Dom, he gently pets the chocolate bundle of fur with the tip of his finger, gives the other man a soft smile, and holds his gaze.
“Ready?”
“Orli?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you,” Dom says sincerely, his voice wobbling. “For everything.”
Orlando’s eyes are full of sympathy as he replies, “I’m your friend. You never have to thank me for that.”
“But I can be grateful,” Dom points out.
Leaning down, Orlando presses a soft kiss to Dom’s forehead. “Shut your eyes. Let us take care of you for a while.”
“Okay.”
Obediently, Dom’s eyes flutter closed, and it only takes Orlando a few minutes to get set up. Once the head of the bed is lowered, Dom’s pillow is replaced with the washing tray, and a soft scraping is heard as the pail under the drain is nudged into place.
“Tell me if the water isn’t the right temperature,” Orlando requests.
Wordlessly, Dom nods, and doesn’t make a sound as the other man dips the cup into the pail of warm water and then slowly pours it out, wetting his hair. The blonde strands are lathered and rinsed twice at a luxurious pace by Orlando’s long fingers, a soothing scalp and neck massage taking place between the events. Dom is dozing on the edge of sleep as the conditioner is rinsed out, but startles awake when the puppy in his hands whimpers.
“I think she’s jealous,” Orlando says quietly, the amusement clear in his tone. “You stopped petting her.”
“Sorry, love,” Dom murmurs, his eyes dropping closed again, but his fingers resuming their previous task of stroking the warm bundle of fur.
“Is she too heavy?” Orlando inquires. “She’s been gaining weight every single day.”
“She’s fine.”
As unobtrusively as possible, Orlando slides the towel under Dom’s wet head and pulls the washing tray away, gently ruffling his hair, reminding Dom of when he was a boy, and his father would do the same for him after a bath.
“How’s that?” Orlando asks quietly.
“It’s grand,” Dom replies under his breath, trying to hold onto the peaceful moment for as long as possible. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. I think I have a comb in my bag if you want-”
“No, it’s fine,” Dom tells him, eyes fluttering open. “I’ll just use my fingers.”
“Okay,” Orlando says with a nod. “Are you ready to sit up?”
“Yeah.”
While Orlando cleans up and returns the wash items to the nurses’ station, Dom puts his hair into order, murmuring under his breath to the puppy now watching him with inquisitive eyes. He’s whispering something in the small animal’s ear when Orlando slips into the room, and looks up to see the other man smiling at the scene.
“You should go,” Dom says softly. “Viggo’s probably wondering where you are.”
A quick glance at his watch confirms just how late it’s gotten, and Orlando is forced to nod his agreement.
“I can stay a little while longer,” he offers. “If you-”
“Orli, it’s New Year’s Eve,” Dom interrupts gently. “You should be with who you love.”
“So should you,” Orlando points out, watching as Dom closes his eyes and presses his lips together.
“I’m fine,” he says finally. “Mum and Dad are out for a quiet dinner together and a good night’s rest, like I wanted. I’m just going to fall asleep anyway.”
“Liar,” Orlando states, though his tone is full of sympathy.
“Is it so bad that I want the people I care about to start the year off happy?” Dom asks, looking down at the puppy curled up on his chest when his eyes grow moist. “At least somebody should be.”
“And Billy?”
“I can’t,” Dom rasps, his throat tightening. “I just can’t, Orli.”
“Shhh, I’m sorry,” Orlando murmurs, crossing the room and laying a hand on Dom’s shoulder. “I’ll drop it.”
“Thank you, for what you did tonight,” Dom tells him, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. “It helped, more than you know.”
“Anytime.”
“Now go,” Dom requests, offering the puppy back to him. “Take this munchkin home and celebrate the start of a new year, yeah?”
“All right,” Orlando reluctantly agrees. “But if you need anything, just call.”
“Okay.”
It only takes a couple of minutes for Orlando to pack up his things and bundle up in his warm winter jacket. Carefully, he hoists the duffle bag with the puppy over one shoulder, and then looks over to meet Dom’s gaze.
“This time of year is about family,” he says quietly, unable to walk away without at least trying to give Dom a nudge in the right direction. “And about making a fresh start. Just think about it, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Dom replies, nodding unsteadily.
“Happy New Year.”
“You, too.”
It’s with reluctance that Orlando leaves the room, fervently praying that Dom will come to his senses soon and reach out to Billy. With each passing day they’re pulled further and further apart, and Orlando’s not sure what else he can do. Right now, he just hopes that it’s not already too late.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The radio in the living room is on low, Maggie having tuned it into a station covering a Hogmanay celebration in Scotland. She’s hoping that it’ll distract Billy, but so far it’s having little effect. The book shop has kept her busy, and keeping an eye on Billy is stretching her to the limit. Every suggestion she’s made has been gently refused. Billy would have no part of decorating for Christmas or the New Year, choosing to spend most of his time in one of two places: the bed and the living room couch. The only improvement Maggie’s seen in the last week is the fact that Billy has started to get dressed again instead of staying in his pajamas day after day.
Tonight, she’d coerced him into nearly a dozen bites of dinner, and then he’d pushed his plate away, sipping his cup of sweetened tea until Maggie had cleared their plates. Since then, he’s been on the couch, staring aimlessly at the cheerful blaze in the fireplace. Maggie notices that on several occasions his eyes well up, seemingly lost in memories he chooses not to share, and blinks quickly to prevent the tears from falling. She’s starting to believe that it’s going to be another early night when Billy suddenly gets to his feet.
“I’m going for a walk,” he announces.
“Now?” she asks, glancing at her watch. “It’s getting late, Billy.”
“I have to get out of here,” he tells her. “Just for a little while.”
“Okay, I’ll get my coat,” Maggie says, closing the book she’s been reading and starting to push herself out of the chair she’s been curled up in for most of the evening.
“No, Mags,” Billy says quietly. “I want to go alone.”
“Billy-”
“Please?”
Bowing her head, Maggie takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before looking up to meet her brother’s gaze. “Do you promise me that you’ll come back? That you won’t make me worry about you? Have to go looking for you?”
“Aye, I promise,” he vows, nodding slightly. “I just want to stretch my legs. I thought I’d go to the park.”
“All right,” she reluctantly agrees, wondering if she’s making a huge mistake. “Take your mobile with you, just in case.”
“Okay.”
Maggie gnaws on her lower lip while Billy disappears down the hall, returning a couple of minutes later with his winter jacket and a scarf.
“Gloves?” she inquires.
“In my pockets,” he replies, patting the bulge of material. “I don’t want to catch a cold.”
“Be careful,” she adds as he opens the door leading to the book shop below. “And don’t forget your keys.”
“I’ll be fine, Mags,” he says quietly. “Really.”
Wordlessly she nods, and bites her tongue to keep from calling out to Billy as the door closes behind him, and listens to his footsteps on the stairs with a hand covering her mouth. Every fiber of Maggie’s being is screaming in protest, but after more than a week of Billy so lost and heartbroken, how could she deny him such a simple thing as a walk in the park? At this point, what could it hurt?
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The night is cold and crisp, warm breath fogging out in front of Billy as he makes his way towards the park, snow crunching on the pavement beneath the soles of his boots. It feels strange to be outdoors, as he’s become a hermit of late, and he swallows the sting in his throat from the chilled air. As he expected, the park is deserted, the moon overhead muted by the light snow that has begun to fall, casting long blue shadows on the ground.
Billy knows that his sister means well, but he had to get away from the sound in the flat, and welcomes the silence of the late hour. Even though he’s tried drowning out the voices in his head, all the questions and worries that only serve to intensify the ache in his chest, nothing has helped. The louder things are around him, the more insistent the thoughts are, determined to overrule everything else in his mind; especially the hope that he’s clung to, and that has been fading a wee bit with each passing day. Even though he’s wished for it at least a thousand times, Dom has not called.
So caught up his thoughts, Billy doesn’t realize that he’s walked to a specific spot in the park, and is only mildly surprised to find himself at a familiar bench. Over the years, he and Dom have come to this spot numerous times, the first being the first Christmas they were together as a couple, and Dom had a star named for him as a present. They stopped here on their wedding day, too, he recalls, the memory of Dom cradled in his arms so vivid he can almost smell his lover’s papaya shampoo and the heat of his breath.
“How did we go so wrong?” he asks, looking up at the night sky, blinking back the tears that seem to spring to his eyes all too easily these days.
“Guardian Angel,” Billy whispers when he locates the star, quoting the name that Dom so thoughtfully picked out. “I thought you were going to look out for us. I counted on you to protect Dom when I couldn’t be there. And now-”
Breaking off with a harsh sob, Billy swallows hard and brushes at his damp eyes, his breath ragged, and hand now trembling.
“I don’t know what to do,” he says, looking up when he can speak again. “So, I’m here, wishing on a star, hoping that it won’t end this way.”
Wrapping an arm around his chest, Billy gazes longingly at the sky, a fervent prayer repeating over and over in his mind that he’s not the only one looking at their star tonight.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
“Vig, I’m home,” Orlando calls out as he closes the door behind him and eases the duffle bag resting on his shoulder down to the floor. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
After hanging up his jacket in the hall closet, Orlando reaches into the duffle bag, and cradles the small puppy to his chest as he goes in search of his lover.
“Vig?”
He’d expected the lights to be dim in the living room, perhaps music playing on the stereo, and the doctor sprawled out comfortably on the couch, waiting for his arrival. Instead, Orlando finds the older man sitting in the chair in the corner, back stiff and arms crossed over his chest, the light from the nearby lamp creating odd shadows across his face.
“Hey,” Orlando says, trying to smile, despite the unsettling sight before him. “What are you doing?”
“How was work?” Viggo asks flatly. “Anything exciting happen?”
“Clinic was busy, but we managed,” Orlando replies. “I meant to be home a while ago, but-”
“I saw you,” Viggo interrupts, jaw clenched, eyes oddly devoid of emotion.
“What? Where did you see me?” Orlando inquires. “Why didn’t you say hello?”
“I saw you,” Viggo repeats. “At the hospital. Going into Dom’s room.”
Surprise causes Orlando to halt his journey across the room. “Vig-”
“How long?” Viggo spits out harshly. “How long have you been visiting him?”
“The day after he was moved out of ICU,” Orlando reveals, setting the puppy down in the laundry basket sitting on the couch that has been lined with a towel. “After you told me what happened, I went by the hospital and talked to Aureen. I told her-”
“About your fall,” Viggo deduces when the younger man trails off. “Your back.”
Orlando nods. “Yes.”
“You’ve been working late every day,” Viggo adds. “Or have you?”
“I’ve been going to see Dom after finishing at the clinic,” Orlando admits. “As often as he’s wanted to see me.”
“You’ve been lying to me.”
“Not to hurt you. I thought if you knew, it would only make you feel worse about the situation,” Orlando explains quickly. “You already felt guilty, Billy being so upset. I just wanted to help.”
“He’s still not talking to Bill, is he?”
“No,” Orlando replies sadly. “Not yet.”
“Do you think he will?”
“I have to hope so.”
When Orlando closes the distance between them and reaches out to him, Viggo pulls back, refusing his touch.
“I can’t believe- For over a week, you didn’t tell me that-”
Realizing that he’s made a terrible mistake and caused more pain, when he intended to prevent it, Orlando sinks to his knees at Viggo’s feet, sitting back and fingers twisting together in his lap.
“I wanted to spare you the hurt,” Orlando tells him, his eyes sad and bright with unshed tears. “I promise you I never meant-”
“You don’t think I know it’s my fault?” Viggo says sadly. “Believe me, I know I’m the one responsible. I-”
“When you told me what happened, you were afraid that I hated you, was angry with you,” Orlando interrupts gently. “I swear to you that’s not true. Through all of this, my feelings for you haven’t changed. Not for one second.”
“I didn’t understand why you were spending so much time at work,” Viggo chokes out. “We haven’t had sex since before Bill got hurt. We were going to the night Dom called, after he found Bill in the book shop. Do you remember that?”
Orlando nods. “Yes.”
“Since Dom found out about his back, you’ve been distant. When I saw you at the hospital, I didn’t know what to think. I-”
“I look at Dom, and I see how empty and alone my life could’ve been,” Orlando says quietly, his long eyelashes wet. “Just the thought of it terrifies me, like the thought of losing you. If it was me in that bed, and I didn’t have you with me, I wouldn’t want to even try to go on with my life.”
“Or-”
“I’m sorry,” Orlando whispers raggedly, eyes downcast in sorrow. “I’m so sorry that I made you doubt-”
When a hand touches Orlando’s cheek, he look up in surprise, and then the sob bubbling up in his throat is cut off by Viggo’s mouth closing over his, their lips meeting in a deep, passionate kiss, strong hands cupping his face. Rising up onto his knees, hands gripping Viggo’s thighs, Orlando presses into his lover’s touch, welcoming the sensation of fingers petting his silky curls, a tongue sliding along the seam of his lips, seeking entry.
A whimper of relief fills the air, and then the couple are clinging to one another tightly as they tumble to the floor in an awkward jumble of limbs, kissing hungrily. Arching his back to bring their bodies closer, Orlando opens his eyes when he feels the familiar sensation of Viggo’s hand under the hem of his shirt, fingertips sliding along the shallow groove of his spine, tracing the cord of scar tissue between his shoulder blades. There isn’t a day that goes by that he’s not thankful for that mark on his skin, because it represents the gift he was given. The second chance. He inhales sharply, and holds his breath when Viggo breaks the kiss, both men gasping, pulling oxygen into their lungs.
“I’ll never leave you, Or,” Viggo rasps, eyes filled with such love and devotion that it causes Orlando’s heart to skip a beat. “No matter what.”
“I love you, Vig,” Orlando murmurs tenderly. “So much.” Reverently, he traces the bow of Viggo’s upper lip with the tip of his finger, eyes locked on the sensuous curve. “I knew you were the one the first time you kissed me. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved like this, and I always will.”
Rosy lips come together, wild and desperate, the desire rising quickly, overwhelming both men, and hands begin pulling at clothing, seeking the bare skin beneath. Tongues thrusting and tasting eagerly, the couple cling to one another, craving closer contact, and then they surrender to their shared passion.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Time passes slowly as Dom stares aimlessly out the window, and it’s only when over an inch of snow has accumulated on the window ledge that he allows his gaze to drift over to the phone sitting on the bedside table. Just as quickly, Dom looks away, returning his attention to the night sky, thinking about the stars that have been obscured by the falling snow. Although he’s tried not to think about it, he couldn’t stop the memories from surfacing; the significance of New Year’s Eve. The night Billy proposed to him.
Dom gnaws on his lower lip while he silently debates with himself, forces himself to take several deep breaths, then after finally screwing up his courage, he carefully reaches over to the phone. Lifting the receiver and laying it beside him on the bed, he then dials a familiar number. The line rings and he can’t breathe, hope wobbling unsteadily and his fear growing.
“Hello?”
The sound of Billy’s beautiful, Scottish lilt steals Dom’s breath, and he can’t speak. It’s been over ten days since Dom refused to see Billy and sent him away, but in this moment it feels so much longer. He knew it was going to be hard, but it’s so much worse than he imagined.
“Hello?” Billy repeats.
“Uh, hey,” Dom manages to choke out. “It’s, uh, it’s me.”
Seconds of silence stretch out like hours, only increasing Dom’s anxiety.
“Dom,” Billy says finally, his tone filled with relief. “Hi.”
“Is this a bad time?”
“No, of course not. It’s fine.”
“Okay.” Swallowing hard, Dom presses on before he loses his nerve. “I, uh, I was wondering if maybe you would want to come see me tomorrow. So we could talk.”
“Tomorrow?” Billy parrots. “Uh-”
“If you’re too busy, I understand,” Dom adds weakly, his resolve to get things out in the open falling apart with every rapid beat of his heart. “I’m sorry. I’m probably interrupting your plans for Hogmanay. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
“Dom, that’s not-”
The sound of Billy’s voice is cut off when Dom hangs up the phone, and then he buries his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with barely contained sobs. The fact that Billy hesitated when Dom asked him to visit only confirms that it’s too late to undo the damage Dom did when he sent Billy away. It appears that Billy’s already started to move on, grateful that he’s been released of the responsibility of an injured partner. Hot, salty tears slide down Dom’s cheeks, dampening his hospital gown as hoarse words push past his trembling lips.
“You’re too bloody late,” Dom whispers brokenly, wishing he could move so he could curl up into a tight ball, instead of lying flat on his back. “You got what you wanted, you bastard. You’ve lost him for good.”
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Chapter 44
Author:
dylan_dufresne Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG-14, ish.
Summary: An unexpected gift, a difficult discovery, and the loss the hope.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated as it’s my drug of choice. Many thanks to my beta,
frojane.Special Thanks: To
loki_girl for the exquisite banner that she has created, and to tarnishedhalo for loaning me her inspirational manip for the centerpiece. I am so thankful and appreciative of you both, and your generosity. Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. This is my imagination at work.
A/N: Do I really need to say it? Okay. Warning of angst. Don’t forget your kleenex, just in case.
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42
Chapter 43
Moving briskly down the hall towards Dom’s hospital room, a duffle bag under each arm, Orlando takes a quick look around and then slips inside, closing the door behind him with a soft click. He had intended to visit earlier today, but work prevented it, thanks to new clients as a result of the rush of pets received as Christmas presents and the rapidly approaching New Year. Each day Orlando’s made it a priority to visit Dom, especially on Christmas, knowing that it had to be a difficult day to spend apart from Billy. Even with his parents close by, nothing can fill that immense void. Now, it’s nearly half six, and this is his first opportunity to sneak away to the hospital.
“Hi there,” he says to Dom in greeting, moving over to the side of the bed and shrugging out of his heavy coat.
“Hey,” Dom replies flatly.
Orlando picks up on Dom’s mood immediately, and leans closer, head tipped to one side. “Bad day?”
“If I ever hear the words function or evaluate ever again, it’ll be bloody well too soon,” Dom spits out, his mouth set into a hard line.
“More tests, I take it?”
“Ever heard of the Asia scale?” Dom asks with an arched brow. “After today, I know more about it than I ever wanted to. Could write a bloody book about it if I could be arsed.”
“So they’ve rated you,” Orlando deduces, nodding to indicate that he’s familiar with the terminology. “Do you want to talk about it?”
“Rated me? I wish,” Dom complains bitterly. “Then it would be over and done with. No such luck, They’re debating.”
“What do you mean?”
“For two bloody hours I was poked and prodded all over the sodding place,” Dom explains. “Kept asking me if I could feel anything. Then they got into sensory and motor function.”
“So what’s the problem?” Orlando inquires. “Why are they debating?”
Dom sighs and scratches absently at his mussed hair. “Dr. Millar says I’m somewhere between Asia C and D, because there are inconsistencies. Apparently, I’m right in the middle, because the sensation in the muscles on my left side is higher than the right side. So, they’ve got me on a new drug that’s supposed to help with the swelling, and they’ll do the test again next week. In the meantime, I have to wait.”
“Bloody hell,” Orlando curses under his breath. “I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.” Dom sighs and shifts his head, trying to find a more comfortable position on the pillow. “He started talking about hip extensors and sacral functions, whatever the hell those are, and I wanted to scream. When he finally left, I was relieved.”
“What’s the drug?”
“Amnio- something,” Dom replies with a shrug. “Supposedly, I’ll be less sleepy.”
“Well that’s not a bad thing, yeah?” Orlando says, trying to smile a wee bit.
“That’s debatable when there’s nothing good on the telly.”
“Very true,” Orlando agrees. “I brought you something, and after the day you’ve had, I’m really glad I did.”
“Puppy?” Dom says hopefully.
“Yeah, she’s sleeping right now,” the veterinarian tells him. “But that’s not the surprise.”
“What is it?” Dom asks warily, glancing over at the door with suspicion, fearing that he’s about to get another visitor.
“I wouldn’t do that, Dom,” Orlando says quietly, following his line of thinking. “I haven’t told anyone that I’ve been visiting you.”
“Nobody?”
Silently, the other man shakes his head.
“So what’s the surprise?”
Opening the duffle bag sitting next to his right foot, Orlando produces several small white cardboard boxes. “Are you hungry?”
“You brought Thai takeaway?” Dom gasps after sniffing the air.
“I stopped off and picked up your favorites. Gang Gai, Pad Thai, and Nua Kem,” Orlando confirms. “I requested it extra mild since you’re still recovering from surgery, but I thought you’d like a change from hospital food.”
For the first time since entering the hospital, Dom shows interest in eating, and when Orlando offers him a pair of chopsticks, he quietly accepts them.
“Chicken or beef?” Orlando asks, holding up both boxes. “Or you can start with the noodles if you prefer.”
“Gang Gai,” Dom decides, cradling the open box of curried chicken in the palm of his hand before using the chopsticks to guide some into his mouth.
For several minutes they don’t speak, occasionally offering boxes of food to one another, until Dom shakes his head, signaling that he’s had enough. While he doesn’t eat as much as Orlando hoped for, it’s the most he’s seen Dom eat in a long time.
“Thank you,” Dom says quietly. “That was good.”
“You’re welcome. When you get out of here, we’ll go have a celebratory dinner,” Orlando replies. “If you want.”
Dom makes a sound that Orlando can’t quite decipher, but wisely doesn’t press for an explanation. Instead, he packs up the half empty takeaway containers and tucks them into the duffle bag at his feet to be discarded later before moving his attention to his other side. A moment later, a sleepy puppy is being transferred to Dom’s care.
“Hello, little one,” Dom murmurs gently, setting the ball of fur over his heart and rubbing his cheek against the puppy’s small head. “I missed you.”
“She really likes you,” Orlando comments with a smile when the animal yawns widely, burrows into Dom’s tender touch and affectionately licks the tips of his fingers. “I haven’t seen her respond to anyone but you this way.”
“She doesn’t ask for much,” Dom replies quietly, stroking the puppy’s head. “She’s just happy to be held.”
“Animals aren’t complicated,” Orlando agrees. “So different from humans.”
“Yeah.”
Sitting back in his chair, Orlando watches the sight before him, not failing to notice the heavy sadness weighing on Dom’s shoulders, or the brightness in his eyes. The ten days since getting out of ICU have taken their toll, and Dom’s holding on by a thread, clearly in desperate need of distraction. Even if it’s just for a few minutes, he needs to forget.
“When was the last time you washed your hair? Orlando asks suddenly, startling Dom and causing him to look up.
“What?”
“You’ve been practically living at the hospital since the book shop was damaged,” Orlando explains. “I can’t imagine you had much opportunity to wash up since you were shot.”
“I, uh-” Dom frowns and then gnaws on his lower lip. “I’ve been getting sponge baths every other day, but as for my hair, I don’t remember.”
“My mum’s a big believer in clean hair,” Orlando reveals, drawing long fingers through long, dark strands as he smiles at the memory. “When I’d have a bad day, she’d tell me to take a shower and then tackle whatever the problem was. It sounds silly, I know, but it always worked for me. Even today, I use that piece of advice.”
“I like to take hot baths,” Dom replies. “Reminds me of when Billy and I-”
At the pained look in Dom’s eyes, the other man winces. “I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay. You didn’t know.”
“I just thought you might like to have your hair washed,” Orlando finishes lamely. “If you wanted, I could do it for you.”
“But I’m rather stuck in this bed,” Dom says dryly.
“I’m aware of that, but it won’t be a problem. Yes or no?” Orlando prompts.
Dom purses his lips together for a moment, and then nods. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
“All right, then. You keep an eye on the little princess, and I’ll be right back,” Orlando says, carefully shifting the bed sheet to hide the sight of the puppy from anyone who may look into the room while the door is open.
“Okay.”
To Dom’s surprise, Orlando returns to his room in just a couple of minutes with two small blue pails in one hand, and a long, shallow white tray in the other.
“I just double checked with the nurse to make sure I can lay you flat for this,” he says. “Don’t want to cause any trouble with your incision.”
“It’s okay?”
“Yeah,” Orlando confirms. “But if it starts to pull, I can raise your legs a little. Just tell me, okay?”
“Yeah.”
Orlando disappears into the loo, the taps running for a few minutes, and the he returns with a nearly full pail of water and a plastic cup, a towel slung over his shoulder. Reaching over Dom, he gently pets the chocolate bundle of fur with the tip of his finger, gives the other man a soft smile, and holds his gaze.
“Ready?”
“Orli?”
“Yeah?”
“Thank you,” Dom says sincerely, his voice wobbling. “For everything.”
Orlando’s eyes are full of sympathy as he replies, “I’m your friend. You never have to thank me for that.”
“But I can be grateful,” Dom points out.
Leaning down, Orlando presses a soft kiss to Dom’s forehead. “Shut your eyes. Let us take care of you for a while.”
“Okay.”
Obediently, Dom’s eyes flutter closed, and it only takes Orlando a few minutes to get set up. Once the head of the bed is lowered, Dom’s pillow is replaced with the washing tray, and a soft scraping is heard as the pail under the drain is nudged into place.
“Tell me if the water isn’t the right temperature,” Orlando requests.
Wordlessly, Dom nods, and doesn’t make a sound as the other man dips the cup into the pail of warm water and then slowly pours it out, wetting his hair. The blonde strands are lathered and rinsed twice at a luxurious pace by Orlando’s long fingers, a soothing scalp and neck massage taking place between the events. Dom is dozing on the edge of sleep as the conditioner is rinsed out, but startles awake when the puppy in his hands whimpers.
“I think she’s jealous,” Orlando says quietly, the amusement clear in his tone. “You stopped petting her.”
“Sorry, love,” Dom murmurs, his eyes dropping closed again, but his fingers resuming their previous task of stroking the warm bundle of fur.
“Is she too heavy?” Orlando inquires. “She’s been gaining weight every single day.”
“She’s fine.”
As unobtrusively as possible, Orlando slides the towel under Dom’s wet head and pulls the washing tray away, gently ruffling his hair, reminding Dom of when he was a boy, and his father would do the same for him after a bath.
“How’s that?” Orlando asks quietly.
“It’s grand,” Dom replies under his breath, trying to hold onto the peaceful moment for as long as possible. “Thank you.”
“You’re very welcome. I think I have a comb in my bag if you want-”
“No, it’s fine,” Dom tells him, eyes fluttering open. “I’ll just use my fingers.”
“Okay,” Orlando says with a nod. “Are you ready to sit up?”
“Yeah.”
While Orlando cleans up and returns the wash items to the nurses’ station, Dom puts his hair into order, murmuring under his breath to the puppy now watching him with inquisitive eyes. He’s whispering something in the small animal’s ear when Orlando slips into the room, and looks up to see the other man smiling at the scene.
“You should go,” Dom says softly. “Viggo’s probably wondering where you are.”
A quick glance at his watch confirms just how late it’s gotten, and Orlando is forced to nod his agreement.
“I can stay a little while longer,” he offers. “If you-”
“Orli, it’s New Year’s Eve,” Dom interrupts gently. “You should be with who you love.”
“So should you,” Orlando points out, watching as Dom closes his eyes and presses his lips together.
“I’m fine,” he says finally. “Mum and Dad are out for a quiet dinner together and a good night’s rest, like I wanted. I’m just going to fall asleep anyway.”
“Liar,” Orlando states, though his tone is full of sympathy.
“Is it so bad that I want the people I care about to start the year off happy?” Dom asks, looking down at the puppy curled up on his chest when his eyes grow moist. “At least somebody should be.”
“And Billy?”
“I can’t,” Dom rasps, his throat tightening. “I just can’t, Orli.”
“Shhh, I’m sorry,” Orlando murmurs, crossing the room and laying a hand on Dom’s shoulder. “I’ll drop it.”
“Thank you, for what you did tonight,” Dom tells him, blinking rapidly to clear his vision. “It helped, more than you know.”
“Anytime.”
“Now go,” Dom requests, offering the puppy back to him. “Take this munchkin home and celebrate the start of a new year, yeah?”
“All right,” Orlando reluctantly agrees. “But if you need anything, just call.”
“Okay.”
It only takes a couple of minutes for Orlando to pack up his things and bundle up in his warm winter jacket. Carefully, he hoists the duffle bag with the puppy over one shoulder, and then looks over to meet Dom’s gaze.
“This time of year is about family,” he says quietly, unable to walk away without at least trying to give Dom a nudge in the right direction. “And about making a fresh start. Just think about it, yeah?”
“Yeah,” Dom replies, nodding unsteadily.
“Happy New Year.”
“You, too.”
It’s with reluctance that Orlando leaves the room, fervently praying that Dom will come to his senses soon and reach out to Billy. With each passing day they’re pulled further and further apart, and Orlando’s not sure what else he can do. Right now, he just hopes that it’s not already too late.
The radio in the living room is on low, Maggie having tuned it into a station covering a Hogmanay celebration in Scotland. She’s hoping that it’ll distract Billy, but so far it’s having little effect. The book shop has kept her busy, and keeping an eye on Billy is stretching her to the limit. Every suggestion she’s made has been gently refused. Billy would have no part of decorating for Christmas or the New Year, choosing to spend most of his time in one of two places: the bed and the living room couch. The only improvement Maggie’s seen in the last week is the fact that Billy has started to get dressed again instead of staying in his pajamas day after day.
Tonight, she’d coerced him into nearly a dozen bites of dinner, and then he’d pushed his plate away, sipping his cup of sweetened tea until Maggie had cleared their plates. Since then, he’s been on the couch, staring aimlessly at the cheerful blaze in the fireplace. Maggie notices that on several occasions his eyes well up, seemingly lost in memories he chooses not to share, and blinks quickly to prevent the tears from falling. She’s starting to believe that it’s going to be another early night when Billy suddenly gets to his feet.
“I’m going for a walk,” he announces.
“Now?” she asks, glancing at her watch. “It’s getting late, Billy.”
“I have to get out of here,” he tells her. “Just for a little while.”
“Okay, I’ll get my coat,” Maggie says, closing the book she’s been reading and starting to push herself out of the chair she’s been curled up in for most of the evening.
“No, Mags,” Billy says quietly. “I want to go alone.”
“Billy-”
“Please?”
Bowing her head, Maggie takes a deep breath and lets it out slowly before looking up to meet her brother’s gaze. “Do you promise me that you’ll come back? That you won’t make me worry about you? Have to go looking for you?”
“Aye, I promise,” he vows, nodding slightly. “I just want to stretch my legs. I thought I’d go to the park.”
“All right,” she reluctantly agrees, wondering if she’s making a huge mistake. “Take your mobile with you, just in case.”
“Okay.”
Maggie gnaws on her lower lip while Billy disappears down the hall, returning a couple of minutes later with his winter jacket and a scarf.
“Gloves?” she inquires.
“In my pockets,” he replies, patting the bulge of material. “I don’t want to catch a cold.”
“Be careful,” she adds as he opens the door leading to the book shop below. “And don’t forget your keys.”
“I’ll be fine, Mags,” he says quietly. “Really.”
Wordlessly she nods, and bites her tongue to keep from calling out to Billy as the door closes behind him, and listens to his footsteps on the stairs with a hand covering her mouth. Every fiber of Maggie’s being is screaming in protest, but after more than a week of Billy so lost and heartbroken, how could she deny him such a simple thing as a walk in the park? At this point, what could it hurt?
The night is cold and crisp, warm breath fogging out in front of Billy as he makes his way towards the park, snow crunching on the pavement beneath the soles of his boots. It feels strange to be outdoors, as he’s become a hermit of late, and he swallows the sting in his throat from the chilled air. As he expected, the park is deserted, the moon overhead muted by the light snow that has begun to fall, casting long blue shadows on the ground.
Billy knows that his sister means well, but he had to get away from the sound in the flat, and welcomes the silence of the late hour. Even though he’s tried drowning out the voices in his head, all the questions and worries that only serve to intensify the ache in his chest, nothing has helped. The louder things are around him, the more insistent the thoughts are, determined to overrule everything else in his mind; especially the hope that he’s clung to, and that has been fading a wee bit with each passing day. Even though he’s wished for it at least a thousand times, Dom has not called.
So caught up his thoughts, Billy doesn’t realize that he’s walked to a specific spot in the park, and is only mildly surprised to find himself at a familiar bench. Over the years, he and Dom have come to this spot numerous times, the first being the first Christmas they were together as a couple, and Dom had a star named for him as a present. They stopped here on their wedding day, too, he recalls, the memory of Dom cradled in his arms so vivid he can almost smell his lover’s papaya shampoo and the heat of his breath.
“How did we go so wrong?” he asks, looking up at the night sky, blinking back the tears that seem to spring to his eyes all too easily these days.
“Guardian Angel,” Billy whispers when he locates the star, quoting the name that Dom so thoughtfully picked out. “I thought you were going to look out for us. I counted on you to protect Dom when I couldn’t be there. And now-”
Breaking off with a harsh sob, Billy swallows hard and brushes at his damp eyes, his breath ragged, and hand now trembling.
“I don’t know what to do,” he says, looking up when he can speak again. “So, I’m here, wishing on a star, hoping that it won’t end this way.”
Wrapping an arm around his chest, Billy gazes longingly at the sky, a fervent prayer repeating over and over in his mind that he’s not the only one looking at their star tonight.
“Vig, I’m home,” Orlando calls out as he closes the door behind him and eases the duffle bag resting on his shoulder down to the floor. “I’m sorry I’m late.”
After hanging up his jacket in the hall closet, Orlando reaches into the duffle bag, and cradles the small puppy to his chest as he goes in search of his lover.
“Vig?”
He’d expected the lights to be dim in the living room, perhaps music playing on the stereo, and the doctor sprawled out comfortably on the couch, waiting for his arrival. Instead, Orlando finds the older man sitting in the chair in the corner, back stiff and arms crossed over his chest, the light from the nearby lamp creating odd shadows across his face.
“Hey,” Orlando says, trying to smile, despite the unsettling sight before him. “What are you doing?”
“How was work?” Viggo asks flatly. “Anything exciting happen?”
“Clinic was busy, but we managed,” Orlando replies. “I meant to be home a while ago, but-”
“I saw you,” Viggo interrupts, jaw clenched, eyes oddly devoid of emotion.
“What? Where did you see me?” Orlando inquires. “Why didn’t you say hello?”
“I saw you,” Viggo repeats. “At the hospital. Going into Dom’s room.”
Surprise causes Orlando to halt his journey across the room. “Vig-”
“How long?” Viggo spits out harshly. “How long have you been visiting him?”
“The day after he was moved out of ICU,” Orlando reveals, setting the puppy down in the laundry basket sitting on the couch that has been lined with a towel. “After you told me what happened, I went by the hospital and talked to Aureen. I told her-”
“About your fall,” Viggo deduces when the younger man trails off. “Your back.”
Orlando nods. “Yes.”
“You’ve been working late every day,” Viggo adds. “Or have you?”
“I’ve been going to see Dom after finishing at the clinic,” Orlando admits. “As often as he’s wanted to see me.”
“You’ve been lying to me.”
“Not to hurt you. I thought if you knew, it would only make you feel worse about the situation,” Orlando explains quickly. “You already felt guilty, Billy being so upset. I just wanted to help.”
“He’s still not talking to Bill, is he?”
“No,” Orlando replies sadly. “Not yet.”
“Do you think he will?”
“I have to hope so.”
When Orlando closes the distance between them and reaches out to him, Viggo pulls back, refusing his touch.
“I can’t believe- For over a week, you didn’t tell me that-”
Realizing that he’s made a terrible mistake and caused more pain, when he intended to prevent it, Orlando sinks to his knees at Viggo’s feet, sitting back and fingers twisting together in his lap.
“I wanted to spare you the hurt,” Orlando tells him, his eyes sad and bright with unshed tears. “I promise you I never meant-”
“You don’t think I know it’s my fault?” Viggo says sadly. “Believe me, I know I’m the one responsible. I-”
“When you told me what happened, you were afraid that I hated you, was angry with you,” Orlando interrupts gently. “I swear to you that’s not true. Through all of this, my feelings for you haven’t changed. Not for one second.”
“I didn’t understand why you were spending so much time at work,” Viggo chokes out. “We haven’t had sex since before Bill got hurt. We were going to the night Dom called, after he found Bill in the book shop. Do you remember that?”
Orlando nods. “Yes.”
“Since Dom found out about his back, you’ve been distant. When I saw you at the hospital, I didn’t know what to think. I-”
“I look at Dom, and I see how empty and alone my life could’ve been,” Orlando says quietly, his long eyelashes wet. “Just the thought of it terrifies me, like the thought of losing you. If it was me in that bed, and I didn’t have you with me, I wouldn’t want to even try to go on with my life.”
“Or-”
“I’m sorry,” Orlando whispers raggedly, eyes downcast in sorrow. “I’m so sorry that I made you doubt-”
When a hand touches Orlando’s cheek, he look up in surprise, and then the sob bubbling up in his throat is cut off by Viggo’s mouth closing over his, their lips meeting in a deep, passionate kiss, strong hands cupping his face. Rising up onto his knees, hands gripping Viggo’s thighs, Orlando presses into his lover’s touch, welcoming the sensation of fingers petting his silky curls, a tongue sliding along the seam of his lips, seeking entry.
A whimper of relief fills the air, and then the couple are clinging to one another tightly as they tumble to the floor in an awkward jumble of limbs, kissing hungrily. Arching his back to bring their bodies closer, Orlando opens his eyes when he feels the familiar sensation of Viggo’s hand under the hem of his shirt, fingertips sliding along the shallow groove of his spine, tracing the cord of scar tissue between his shoulder blades. There isn’t a day that goes by that he’s not thankful for that mark on his skin, because it represents the gift he was given. The second chance. He inhales sharply, and holds his breath when Viggo breaks the kiss, both men gasping, pulling oxygen into their lungs.
“I’ll never leave you, Or,” Viggo rasps, eyes filled with such love and devotion that it causes Orlando’s heart to skip a beat. “No matter what.”
“I love you, Vig,” Orlando murmurs tenderly. “So much.” Reverently, he traces the bow of Viggo’s upper lip with the tip of his finger, eyes locked on the sensuous curve. “I knew you were the one the first time you kissed me. You’re the only one I’ve ever loved like this, and I always will.”
Rosy lips come together, wild and desperate, the desire rising quickly, overwhelming both men, and hands begin pulling at clothing, seeking the bare skin beneath. Tongues thrusting and tasting eagerly, the couple cling to one another, craving closer contact, and then they surrender to their shared passion.
Time passes slowly as Dom stares aimlessly out the window, and it’s only when over an inch of snow has accumulated on the window ledge that he allows his gaze to drift over to the phone sitting on the bedside table. Just as quickly, Dom looks away, returning his attention to the night sky, thinking about the stars that have been obscured by the falling snow. Although he’s tried not to think about it, he couldn’t stop the memories from surfacing; the significance of New Year’s Eve. The night Billy proposed to him.
Dom gnaws on his lower lip while he silently debates with himself, forces himself to take several deep breaths, then after finally screwing up his courage, he carefully reaches over to the phone. Lifting the receiver and laying it beside him on the bed, he then dials a familiar number. The line rings and he can’t breathe, hope wobbling unsteadily and his fear growing.
“Hello?”
The sound of Billy’s beautiful, Scottish lilt steals Dom’s breath, and he can’t speak. It’s been over ten days since Dom refused to see Billy and sent him away, but in this moment it feels so much longer. He knew it was going to be hard, but it’s so much worse than he imagined.
“Hello?” Billy repeats.
“Uh, hey,” Dom manages to choke out. “It’s, uh, it’s me.”
Seconds of silence stretch out like hours, only increasing Dom’s anxiety.
“Dom,” Billy says finally, his tone filled with relief. “Hi.”
“Is this a bad time?”
“No, of course not. It’s fine.”
“Okay.” Swallowing hard, Dom presses on before he loses his nerve. “I, uh, I was wondering if maybe you would want to come see me tomorrow. So we could talk.”
“Tomorrow?” Billy parrots. “Uh-”
“If you’re too busy, I understand,” Dom adds weakly, his resolve to get things out in the open falling apart with every rapid beat of his heart. “I’m sorry. I’m probably interrupting your plans for Hogmanay. I’m sorry to have bothered you.”
“Dom, that’s not-”
The sound of Billy’s voice is cut off when Dom hangs up the phone, and then he buries his face in his hands, shoulders shaking with barely contained sobs. The fact that Billy hesitated when Dom asked him to visit only confirms that it’s too late to undo the damage Dom did when he sent Billy away. It appears that Billy’s already started to move on, grateful that he’s been released of the responsibility of an injured partner. Hot, salty tears slide down Dom’s cheeks, dampening his hospital gown as hoarse words push past his trembling lips.
“You’re too bloody late,” Dom whispers brokenly, wishing he could move so he could curl up into a tight ball, instead of lying flat on his back. “You got what you wanted, you bastard. You’ve lost him for good.”
Chapter 44
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From:
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I wonder what will happen, though, when Billy finds out that Orlando has been visiting Dom every single day without telling anyone. Will he be as upset as Viggo was?
Nothing like a good shot of angst to get the morning started off...looking forward to tomorrow!
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Poor Billy my heart so much for him I hope he never has to go through this again.
There's been so much of everything to this story - I'm going to miss it... Okay i'll stop counting chapters and that way i won't get sad thinking about the end
From:
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can it be tomorrow right now? i have never been so grateful for getting to a chapter so late.
please let tomorrow bring good things.
*stabinates muse for the cliffhanger*
i am really tired and this makes like no sense whatsoever*
From:
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That covers a lot of it. Orlando's trying to help. I think that'll count for something.
Thank you.
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I hope you enjoyed your afternoon. More tomorrow.
Thank you.
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Try not to think about how many chapters are left. Enjoy them while they last. That's what I do . . .
Thank you.
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That was a wee bit harsh. You don't know what tomorrow brings, and might regret that.
Tomorrow will be here sooner than you think.
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I half expect Maggie to go busting into Dom's room telling him to knock his shit off. Aureen may be protecting her son, but Billy is Maggie's brother, and she's not going to keep sitting around watching him die a slow death.
how could she deny him such a simple thing as a walk in the park?
but it's not gonna be a simple walk in the park, is it? That's their park. omg. that's gonna hurt Billy. A bunch.
“I don’t know what to do,” he says, looking up when he can speak again. “So, I’m here, wishing on a star, hoping that it won’t end this way.”
Wrapping an arm around his chest, Billy gazes longingly at the sky, a fervent prayer repeating over and over in his mind that he’s not the only one looking at their star tonight.
If Billy paused when Dom asked him to come see him the following day, it was probably only because he wanted to be sure he wasn't dreaming. With Dom saying, "I'm sorry to have bothered you.” it reminds me a little of how uncertain Dom was when they first became a couple. That's always just below the surface for him, isn't it? He's never, really truly deep to the bottom of his soul believe he deserved Billy. Ok. I may be able to resist the urge to kick him. (but only because i know he's hurting)
Kerry =)
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He's never, really truly deep to the bottom of his soul believed he deserved Billy.
That's it. Billy coming into Dom's life was an unexpected gift, one that he's never quite been able to justify.
Thank you.