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dylan-dufresne.livejournal.com posting in monaboyd Aug. 14th, 2007 07:00 am)Title: With A Little Help From My Friends - 40/47
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
dylan_dufresne
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG-14
Summary: Family, friends, and learning that making it through surgery is just the beginning.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated as it’s my drug of choice. Many thanks to my beta,frojane.
Special Thanks: Toloki_girl for the exquisite banner that she has created, and to tarnishedhalo for loaning me her inspirational manip for the centerpiece. I am so thankful and appreciative of you both, and your generosity.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. This is my imagination at work.
A/N: Warning of angst. Keep your kleenex handy for this chapter. I think you might need it.
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39
Chapter 40
It’s the sound of murmured conversation that causes Orlando to open his eyes, rousing him from the light doze he had surrendered to while Viggo slept. The voices sound familiar, and when Orlando carefully turns his head in that direction, he realizes why. Mark is accompanying a couple briskly walking hand in hand to the ICU. After what Orlando is sure was a long, difficult drive that took well into the night, Aureen and Austin have arrived from Manchester.
“Vig,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the older man’s forehead. “Wake up.”
Jolting upright, Viggo scrubs a hand over his face, his weary eyes filled with alarm. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Dom’s parents are here,” Orlando explains, gesturing at the approaching group. “I figured you want to talk to them.”
“Yeah,” Viggo agrees, giving his head a shake. “Have you seen Bill?”
“No. And things have been quiet,” Orlando reports.
Viggo rises and isn’t too surprised when Aureen walks straight into his arms, her eyes moist as she embraces him tightly. Over the last several years, he’s gotten to know Dom’s parents a bit, and is well aware of their deep affection for their youngest son.
“How is he?” Aureen asks after she steps back and is drawn close to her husband’s side.
“Why don’t you take a look for yourself?” Viggo replies, glancing over his shoulder. “I’m sure Bill will be glad to see you both.”
Nodding, the couple follows Viggo into ICU, Orlando hanging back a few steps as before, trying to give the family some space, but also wanting to keep an eye on Viggo.
“Billy?” Aureen says softly as she approaches the foot of Dom’s hospital bed.
Billy is where Viggo left him, sitting at the edge of the bed, watching over Dom, talking to him and stroking his silky hair. Tearing his eyes away from Dom’s face, the relief is evident in the Scotsman’s expression as he rises to his feet, his head dipping as he draws close.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers regretfully. “I promised you that I’d keep him safe and-”
“Oh, love,” Aureen croons gently as she draws Billy close and guides his head down to rest on her shoulder. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. Mark has already explained what happened.”
For a moment, Billy allows himself to be comforted, and then he pulls back, stealing a glance over his shoulder to gaze longingly at his lover.
“I should move so you can-”
“You don’t have to leave,” Aureen interrupts.
“Actually, visitors are limited to two at a time,” Viggo interjects. “I need to talk to Bill, so why don’t you and Austin sit with Dom?”
When Billy nods in agreement, Aureen reluctantly lets him pass by and leave the room. She can see how exhausted he is, and that his health isn’t as good as it usually is. Both men have clearly been through a lot lately. While Austin takes a seat, she quickly flips through Dom’s medical chart, wanting to see for herself what is going on with her son’s care and the injuries he has sustained. Realizing that Dom is extremely fortunate to have made it this far, she presses her lips together briefly, then closes the chart and sinks into a chair across from her husband. Aureen doesn’t have to tell her husband anything because he’s seen her face, and already knows that all they can do now is wait.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The four men move into the hall outside of the ICU, and after accepting the paper cup of water that Orlando offers, Billy gives him a grateful smile, then takes a sip, soothing his parched throat. Mark offers him something that he purchased from a nearby vending machine, but Billy gently declines.
“How are you holding up?” Viggo asks quietly, feeling guilty for falling asleep while Billy has kept a vigil at Dom’s side.
“I, uh, I’m hanging in there,” Billy replies, having trouble coming up with the right word. “I just sit there, watching him breathe. It helps.”
“Bill-”
“Thank you, for everything you did for him,” Billy interrupts gently. “I don’t remember if I said that earlier. I just had to see him.”
“I understand.”
“You should go home,” Billy adds, rubbing at his weary eyes after glancing at his watch. “It’s so late.”
“We’re not leaving,” Orlando tells him, trying to hide his disbelief at Billy’s words.
“David had to go to the police station, but promised he’d be back in the morning, and Janeanne came by. She took Drew and Matt back to the group home, since they have a curfew, and will bring them back first thing. I’ve promised to call her with any changes, and we’ve already got plans to have breakfast together in the cafeteria,” Mark adds, his heart going out to the older man. “Maggie couldn’t get a flight tonight, but she’s on a standby list for the morning. Unfortunately there’s a bad storm moving in, and some flights have been cancelled. She promised that she’d be here as soon as she can. In the meantime, we’re not going anywhere, at least until we know that Dom’s going to be okay.”
“I can’t believe you’re all still here,” Billy comments, his eyes confirming the truth of his words. “After Dom got out of surgery, I thought-”
“If you really don’t want us here, we’ll leave,” Mark replies gently. “We don’t want to intrude, but speaking for myself, I like to hope that having the people who care about him close by will somehow give Dom strength; that it’ll help him through this.”
“I’m sorry if I sounded ungrateful,” Billy says quietly, sighing and lowering his head in shame. “It means a lot that-”
A moment later, Mark is sliding an arm around his shoulders for a careful hug. “You couldn’t be ungrateful if you tried, Billy. And if our positions were reversed, I know you’d be right there with me.”
“Aye, I would,” Billy admits.
“So let your friends help, okay?”
Billy releases a shaky breath. “All right then.”
“Can I bring you some tea?”
“You don’t-” Mark’s pointed look causes Billy’s protest to trail off, and then he nods. “Aye, that would be nice.”
“I’ll be back.”
“I’ll go with you,” Orlando offers. “I need to stretch my legs.”
Viggo shoots Orlando a grateful look, knowing that he’s leaving in order to provide an opportunity for Viggo and Billy to talk alone, and the younger man silently nods his understanding. The couple exchanges a brief kiss, and then the two men leave as Viggo guides Billy over to the nearby bench.
“You really should try and get some sleep, Bill,” Viggo begins. “I’m sure I can find you a cot or something.”
“No,” Billy replies quietly. “I’m not leaving him.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Billy asks. “What didn’t you want to say in front of the others?”
“It’s about Dom.”
“I figured as much.”
“If your refusal to sleep is because you want to be there when Dom wakes up, you’ll be waiting a while,” Viggo explains. “The surgeon wants to keep Dom asleep for a couple of days, to give his body some time. He’s been through a lot.”
“Oh.”
“It’s to help him.”
“Whatever is best,” Billy agrees shakily, blowing out a nervous breath. “Anything else?”
“Do you have any questions, about the surgery?” Viggo inquires. “Do you want to know what to expect when Dom wakes up, or do you want to wait for a while?”
“I know he’s on a drip to help his heart,” Billy reveals. “I heard the nurses talking.”
“Yeah, he does,” Viggo replies. “For now. He’ll be weaned off of it over the next couple of days.”
“You were gone for a long time,” Billy adds thoughtfully. “I’m assuming that the surgery was difficult.”
Viggo exhales heavily. “Dom had a lot of internal injuries. The bullet fragmented, and caused damage to a few of his organs. They managed to stop the bleeding, but-”
“What?” Billy prompts.
“There’s one piece of the bullet that the surgeon couldn’t remove,” Viggo admits, watching Billy’s eyes widen with fear. “It’s in a precarious place, and to disturb the surrounding tissue, trying to take it out, could cause more damage. It’s not worth the risk, considering what Dom’s been through.”
“Where is it?”
When Viggo doesn’t reply immediately, Billy’s anxiety spikes, his breath uneven, and the hand lying in his lap begins to tremble.
“Vig?”
“It’s lodged in Dom’s spinal column,” Viggo says finally. “Now we don’t know-”
“Is he-” Billy can’t bring himself to say the word, terrified at the thought of his beloved Dommie confined to a wheelchair, his long legs useless appendages.
“As near as we can tell, the spinal cord is still intact,” Viggo rushes to add. “But there’s a lot of swelling, and it’ll take time for that to go down. He’s on anti-inflammatories for that.”
“How long will it be until you know for sure?” Billy asks, green eyes glued on Viggo’s face.
“We’ll run more tests in the morning, and over the next week,” Viggo explains. “We really won’t know until Dom wakes up. Best case scenario: He’ll have complete sensation. That’s what we’re hoping for.”
“And worst case is that he never walks again,” Billy states bluntly. “Right?”
“It’s possible,” Viggo admits. “Look, Bill. I’ll sit down with Aureen and Austin in the morning-”
“No!”
“Bill, you don’t-”
“They don’t need more to worry about,” Billy interrupts firmly. “You tell nobody else. I don’t want Dom to know about it unless he absolutely has to. He’s already been through so much.”
Suddenly realizing that he should’ve known that Billy would be fiercely protective of Dom, Viggo nods. “All right then.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m worried about you, Bill,” Viggo says gently as he gazes at the other man, not missing the exhaustion and fear rolling off Billy in waves. “You just got out of the hospital. Maybe-”
“No.”
“When Dom wakes up, he’s going to need you more than ever,” Viggo says firmly. “We all know that you love him. Taking care of you isn’t selfish. You’ll feel a lot worse if you run yourself into the ground and end up back in the hospital.”
“I know.”
Billy’s response is heavy with worry and exhaustion; his shoulders slumped, almost in defeat.
“I know you’re scared, Bill-”
“Can you understand that I have to be there, because if he dies . . .”
In all the years that Viggo has known Billy, this is the most vulnerable he’s ever seen the Scotsman, and his heart aches. He’d noticed the bond between the two men early on, the day he met Dom and tended to his wounds, and the years have only made it stronger. They are part of one another, entwined at the soul. While Viggo would never vocalize it, he is sure that if Billy loses Dom tonight, he will be irrevocably broken.
“Don’t go there,” Viggo cautions quickly, gathering Billy close, stroking his back. “He’s alive, and doing all he can to get back to you.”
Reaching under his rumpled scrub shirt, Billy pulls out the silver chain that holds their wedding rings, and cradles them in his small hand.
“He’s my Dommie,” Billy breathes unsteadily. “Just the thought of-”
“Of course, Bill.”
“He protected me, and tried to get me to leave him there,” Billy confesses in a rush. “He was shot and bleeding, and when the gun was pointed at me, Dom told me to run; try to save myself. But I couldn’t leave him alone to die there, in that filthy alley. That bastard would’ve killed us both. If David had arrived just a minute later, it would’ve been too late.”
Stunned, Viggo can’t form words, and instead rubs a circle between Billy’s shoulder blades, trying to soothe the tense muscles and take a moment to compose himself.
Leaning forward and propping his head on his good hand, elbow resting on his knee, Billy closes his eyes, attempting to pull himself together. Losing control of his emotions like this is so unlike him, and he’s uncomfortable with everything being so close to the surface. He just wants Dom to open his eyes, so he can breathe again, without the fear that he’s going to lose the man he loves.
So caught up in his thoughts, Billy doesn’t hear the door to the ICU open, and Aureen approach. She meets Viggo’s eyes for a moment, and they exchange a worried look, both concerned for Billy, not only because of Dom’s precarious hold on life, but also the possibility of Billy losing Dom.
“There you are,” she says tenderly, sinking down to sit on the bench beside Billy. “We didn’t mean to chase you off, love.”
“You didn’t,” Billy says, his voice clearly wobbling, now starting to shake from the effort of holding back his tears.
Wordlessly, Aureen slides her arms around Billy’s shoulders and draws him into her embrace, tucking his head under chin and rocking him ever so gently. She’s not surprised that Billy doesn’t fight her, even though under normal circumstances, he would never be so docile. Of course, these are definitely not normal circumstances, and it’s clear that Billy has reached his breaking point, holding it together until he knew there was someone he trusted to look after Dom for a few minutes.
It’s the first time since Billy was a wee lad that he’s been held this way, comforted in Aureen’s mothering arms, keeping him safe and protecting him. The fingers stroking the fine hair at the nape of his neck slowly causes the ache in his chest to dissipate, and the murmur of Aureen’s voice across his ear gives him hope. For just a few minutes, Billy lets his defenses fall, allowing someone else to carry the burden of his overwhelming fears.
When Billy starts to sit up, Aureen doesn’t resist, familiar with the problem. She herself had to take time out in the past, when worrying about Dom became so overwhelming, and the fear that he would be lost to them forever became too much. During those times, she had Austin to lean on. In Aureen’s opinion, this is the least she can do for the man who loves her son so much.
“You should get some rest. Try to sleep,” she says gently, keeping a hand on Billy’s shoulder, for comfort and reassurance. “Austin and I thought we three could take turns sitting with Dom. Shifts of an hour or so.”
“Okay,” Billy agrees, not wanting to argue with her, even though the idea of only seeing Dom every three hours makes him uneasy. After all, Dom is their son. They’re certainly entitled to sit with him.
“Austin’s with him now, so in about an hour-”
“You can go in,” Billy interjects, nodding stiffly. “Sure.”
“No, love,” Aureen corrects, her tone gentle and soothing. “We thought you could sit with him every other hour, and Austin and I would take turns with the other hour. Is that all right with you?”
Billy looks up in surprise, his eyes wide. “But that means-”
“What?”
“I’ll get to see him more than you,” Billy explains guiltily. “You’re his parents.”
“And he’s married to you,” Aureen points out. “Your place is at his side, Billy. That’s where you’ve been for years now. Austin and I have each other. It’s okay.”
Brushing at his damp eyes, Billy nods and takes a few quick breaths to steady himself before catching movement out of the corner of his eye. Orlando and Mark have returned, each carrying a tray of steaming cups.
“We thought everyone might like some tea,” Mark explains, trying to smile a little as he offers one cup to Billy. “Sweet and milky, just the way you like it. Dom taught me one day when we were working in the shop together.”
Billy’s voice is soft and shaky as he says, “Thank you.”
“Viggo,” Aureen begins, accepting the other cup that Mark offers and directing her attention to the doctor who has been sitting quietly at Billy’s side. “The waiting room that you had everyone use tonight: Is that the closest one?”
“It is,” Viggo replies with a nod, his head tilted slightly, Orlando’s hip resting against the back of his arm, the younger man now nestled into his side, one hand resting on his shoulder.
“Then that’s where we should go,” she decides. “Do you want to go there to wait?” she asks Billy. “The couches will probably more comfortable than this bench.”
“Aye,” Billy agrees, knowing that Aureen is right, and that sitting outside the ICU doors will only heighten his anxiety as he obsessively watches the clock.
Together, the group move down the hall to the waiting room, Viggo slipping away for a few minutes, returning with a couple of pillows and a few blankets. When he enters the room and spots Billy huddled on a couch by the window, his shoulders heavy, eyes misty, Viggo’s heart breaks. Even though he wishes there was something he could do, he knows it’s fruitless. The only thing that’ll make Billy feel better is for Dom to open his eyes, and smile at him. Only then will Billy dare to allow himself to hope.
Aureen sips her tea, but when she spots Billy watching the clock over the rim of his mostly empty cup, she sighs under her breath.
“Finished?” she asks, carefully taking the tea out of Billy’s small hand and setting it on the table beside the couch. “Lie down and close your eyes.”
“Oh, I-”
“I’ll wake you when it’s time,” she interrupts to promise. “Or if there’s anything I know you’d want to hear about right away.”
“But-”
“Please? For me?”
For a long moment, Billy stares at Aureen, lost in the eyes that remind him so much of Dom, and just when she thinks she needs to cajole Billy a wee bit more, he nods.
“Aye.”
The level of Billy’s exhaustion becomes painfully clear when he curls up on the couch beside Aureen in a reluctant surrender, and is asleep in a matter of minutes. Even when Billy is snoring, Aureen continues to rub his back in a slow, soothing rhythm, doing all she can to comfort. On another couch, Orlando and Viggo settle into a comfortable position, sharing a blanket and getting some rest, but only after Aureen insists that they do so, and Mark opts to stretch out on a row of chairs by the door, his jacket more than enough to keep him warm. Sleep doesn’t come easy, but eventually, they all drift off, knowing that morning is coming, and with it, hopefully some good news.
If not, they’ll all need to be strong, to help Billy through what they can only imagine to be, is his worst nightmare.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
When Viggo suddenly awakens, a bad dream having interrupted his sleep, he notices that Billy is gone, and that Austin is now stretched out on a couch next to the recently vacated space, his chest rising and falling in slow, even breaths, a blanket covering him from shoulders to feet. He looks over at the door when Aureen slips into the room, silent as a mouse, and she immediately spots Viggo’s eyes on her.
“He’s fine,” she whispers. “Go back to sleep.”
“What about you?” he inquires. “I can stay awake for a while, keep an eye on things.”
Viggo sees the hesitation in Aureen’s weary eyes, and before she can protest, he’s extracting himself from Orlando’s relaxed embrace, and rising to his feet. He’s not surprised when Orlando doesn’t stir, sprawled limply over the couch cushions, completely oblivious to everything.
“You want to be awake when you’re sitting with Dom, don’t you?” Viggo adds, guiding the older woman over to a couch not far from the one her husband is stretched out on. “You’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else, and that was after you drove down from Manchester. A nap would help.”
“I suppose-”
“Just for a while,” he finishes. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time to get Billy, and I’ll bring him back here.”
“You’re a very good friend,” she tells him, brushing a kiss across the doctor’s scruffy cheek before sinking down into the cushions.
Viggo smiles his thanks, and watches as Aureen lets her eyes drop closed. After ensuring that she’s covered with a blanket, he walks over to the window, the only evidence that Billy had slept on a nearby couch earlier - a rumpled blanket. As the sky slowly begins to change, Viggo watches dawn approach, albeit slowly, the black night giving way to deep blue. Periodically, Viggo checks his watch, wanting to be sure to keep his promise to Aureen, wondering how Billy is holding up. When time is almost up, Viggo steps away from the window and walks over to where Orlando is still sleeping, his dark curls covering nearly half his face.
He can’t even imagine how Billy is feeling right now, with Dom’s future so uncertain. Just the thought of not having Orlando in his life causes an ache to form in Viggo’s chest, and he sinks down to his knees, leaning in close to his sleeping lover. In a tender caress, he smoothes back the jumble of silky curls, and brushes a feathery kiss across Orlando’s temple. It doesn’t matter that he’s asleep, and can’t return the affection. It’s enough for Viggo to express his love to Orlando, to know that he’s safe and alive.
A quick glance at his wrist informs Viggo that it’s time to wake Aureen up, and he’s given a start when he turns, only to discover her watching him, clearly touched by the quiet moment she’s just witnessed. They rise silently, and within a couple of minutes, are walking down the hall toward ICU, leaving Mark, Austin and Orlando to sleep. Viggo sends up a silent prayer that Dom is holding his own, or perhaps even improving, because that would do a lot to ease Billy’s mind.
When they arrive at Dom’s room, Billy is gazing longingly at his unconscious partner, and even though Viggo can see his mouth moving, the sound is so quiet, he can’t make out the words. Aureen whispers Billy’s name, causing him to look over at them, and he sighs quietly before rising awkwardly to his feet. A lingering kiss is pressed to Dom’s forehead, and Billy allows Aureen to draw him close for a hug before they switch positions. While the change in Billy’s demeanor is subtle, Viggo can see the difference. The paralyzing fear has retreated a bit, and Billy’s quiet strength is beginning to take control once again.
“His heart’s doing better,” Billy reports. “And they’ve almost finished replacing the blood he lost.”
“That’s great, Bill,” Viggo replies, trying to smile encouragingly as his arm slides around Billy’s shoulders for a brief squeeze. “Every little bit helps.”
“I think his color is a wee bit better, too.”
“I think you’re right,” Aureen says in agreement.
“You’re probably stiff from sitting in that chair,” Viggo comments. “Want to take a walk?”
“Is the cafeteria open?” Billy inquires, rubbing absently at his belly. “I was sitting there, teasing Dom about the sugar he likes to sneak into his porridge, and then I realized that I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday.”
“The cafeteria is open twenty-four hours,” Viggo tells him. “C’mon. I’ll buy you some breakfast.”
“I think you’ll have to,” Billy says ruefully, looking down at himself. “I don’t have a penny on me. I’m not even wearing my own clothes.”
Viggo chuckles briefly, and then leads the way, relieved to see the Billy he knows starting to reemerge from the darkness and fear that threatened to consume him. He’s clinging to a shred of hope now, and Viggo prays that it’s not a mistake.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Several hours later, the sun is peeking over the horizon, and Billy is sitting at Dom’s side again, his belly full of tea and food. While he’s clearly still concerned, the fact that Dom is continuing to stabilize is of some comfort to him.
As promised, David, Matt and Drew have all returned, and at Billy’s insistence everyone has breakfast together in the cafeteria, their spirits higher, since Dom has made it through the night with no problems. When Billy returns to the waiting room, Austin now sitting with Dom, he’s pleasantly surprised by a gift from Mark, in the form of a fresh set of clothes, and the framed photo from the mantle of the couple in front of Big Ben.
“Maggie called this morning,” Mark says to Billy, his brow furrowed. “The storm’s gotten worse in Glasgow, and they’ve grounded all aircraft. She wanted me to tell you that she’s going to try the train station-”
“Did you bring my mobile?” Billy interjects.
“Yeah,” Mark replies, digging into his backpack and producing the item. “But Billy-”
“Thank you. I’m just going to ring her,” Billy says, giving the younger man a weak smile before turning and walking across the room, attempting to find a quiet corner to make the call.
Nearly twenty minutes pass as brother and sister converse, Billy’s tone low, his accent a wee bit heavier, but on a few occasions, words are overheard by the rest of the group. It quickly becomes clear that he’s trying to convince Maggie not to go to any extraordinary lengths to get to him, because they’re okay. Dom has made it through surgery, and the last thing Billy wants is for someone else he loves to be hurt, especially when it’s avoidable. At last, Billy is successful and Maggie agrees to wait until the weather has improved, under the solemn promise that Billy or someone else calls her with any changes to Dom’s condition. When they say goodbye, Billy manages a small smile, thanking Maggie for being a wonderful sister.
There is comfort in the familiar, friends and family a distraction, and throughout the morning, Billy notices that the weight on his shoulders is getting a wee bit easier to bear, but it isn’t long before he starts to grow anxious again, needing to be close to Dom. He’s just stepping inside the doors of the ICU, Viggo a step behind him, when the urgent wail of an alarm from a machine in Dom’s hospital room shatters the peace.
“No!” Billy cries out, lunging toward the sound, instantly panicked, only to be caught up in Viggo’s strong embrace and held tight. “Let me go. I have to-”
“They need room to work, Bill,” Viggo explains, watching helplessly as a team of doctors and nurses rush into the room, fearing the worst. Perhaps Dom’s luck has run out at last. “Let them do their jobs.”
“But, Dommie-” Billy protests, tears flooding his eyes, body trembling violently. “I don’t want him to be alone if-”
The next two minutes are the longest of Billy’s life, and when he watches the medical staff start to leave the room, his fear explodes, knees suddenly too weak to sustain his weight.
“Vig-” he gasps. “What’s going-”
Billy trails off when Aureen emerges, and he can’t breathe. Everything slows to a crawl, the beating of his heart thunderously loud in his head. As soon as Aureen spots him, however, she smiles and opens her arms, causing Viggo to loosen his grip. Billy rushes over to her, desperate for an explanation.
“He’s all right,” she says tenderly, rubbing Billy’s back, the relief evident in her eyes. “Dom started fighting the tube in his throat that’s been helping him breathe. It caught us all by surprise, as it’s usually a much slower process. I should’ve known that he would be stubborn about it, even when he’s unconscious. He was born that way.”
Looking over Aureen’s shoulder, Billy watches a nurse finish wiping Dom’s face, his mouth now free of the breathing contraption, noticing that a thin clear tube has been looped over Dom’s ears and under his nose.
“They’ll keep giving him some extra oxygen to make things easier for him, but he’s off the respirator now,” Aureen adds, turning them so they’re both facing Dom.
“So this is good news?” Billy asks quietly, almost too scared to hope.
“Yes, it is,” Aureen confirms, giving him a gentle squeeze as the nurse slips out of the room. “Go on in.”
Not needing a second invitation, Billy hurries over to Dom’s bedside, smoothing back his tousled blonde hair and pressing a kiss to each cheek. For a long moment, Billy reverently cups Dom’s face in his small hand, sliding his thumb back and forth across Dom’s slack lips, and then he places a lingering kiss on them as well. Sinking down into the chair and glancing around the room, Billy notices that there are less medications hanging on the IV stand, and that Dom’s heartbeat is stronger, if the waves on the monitor are to be believed. So caught up in Dom, Billy doesn’t notice Viggo and Aureen leave, and doesn’t move until a familiar looking nurse steps into the room over half an hour later, carrying Dom’s chart.
“Do you need me to move?” he asks quickly.
Billy knows that the rules have been bent to allow Dom to have someone with him at all times, and he doesn’t want to do anything that result in having those privileges taken away.
“No, you can stay right where you are,” she replies kindly. “I’m just going to check his vitals.”
“Okay.”
Silently, Billy watches the nurse take Dom’s temperature with a device that she holds briefly to his ear, adjusts the plastic clip on his index finger that monitors his oxygen level, and check his blood pressure with a navy blue arm cuff. After she finishes recording all of the information onto the spreadsheets in Dom’s chart, the nurse looks up to meet Billy’s eyes.
“Well?”
“He’s doing just fine,” she replies, and then consults the numbers again, a tiny smile curling up the corners of her mouth.
“What?”
“There’s no definitive evidence that unconscious people can hear what’s going on around them, but there are some medical professionals who believe that patients who have loved ones talk to them get better faster.”
“I talk to him,” Billy tells her. “Just in case.”
“Well, I’m no doctor, but I think it’s helping.”
“Why?”
Leaning over, the nurse points at the heart monitor. “According to his chart, Dom’s heart beats faster when you’re in the room,” she reveals. “Around ten beats more a minute.”
“Is that okay?” Billy asks quickly. “Will that hurt him?”
“It’s fine,” she replies. “Personally, I think it’s rather romantic.”
“Do you hear that, Dommie?” Billy says, trying to smile so Dom can hear it in his voice. “You’re bloody well unconscious and you’re still charming. Quite a skill you’ve got there, love.”
“I’ll leave you two alone,” the nurse says, smiling as she slips out of the room.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
The next forty-eight hours are measured by the rotating shift of visitors to Dom’s room, and the world outside the walls of the hospital ceases to exist for Billy and Dom’s parents. Billy gets used to sleeping for an hour at a time in the waiting room, in an attempt to maximize his alertness when he’s sitting with Dom in ICU. Wanting to be helpful, Mark calls Maggie in Glasgow twice a day, ensuring she’s kept up to date on how Dom is doing, and to check on how the weather is, later reporting to Billy that it’s slowly improving. After two days, the decision is made to wean Dom off the sedative that has been keeping him asleep, allowing him to wake on his own, and that only makes Billy more determined to be there when Dom finally opens his eyes.
According to the doctor assigned to Dom’s case, he’s out of immediate danger, which is a relief to everyone, but the surgeon also warns them that Dom will require an extended length of time to recover from his injuries. It comes as a relief to everyone that Dom’s kidney’s are functioning normally, and there doesn’t appear to be any sign of infection so far. Of course, so much isn’t known right now, and won’t be until Dom wakes up and they find out the level of sensation he has in his lower extremities. Frankly, Billy will take any good news he can, and holds tight to the belief that Dom will awaken soon. That’ll be the first step in his recovery, and eventual return home.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Dom has been off the sedative for more than a day and a half, Billy counting every last minute of that time, when he overhears a pair of doctors talking just outside of Dom’s room. Their voices are low, as to not disturb the patients, but since he’s hypersensitive to any news about his partner, Billy strains to hear when he realizes that they’re discussing Dom. As the specifics of their conversation begin to sink in, Billy’s breath catches and his belly twists into a tight knot. Apparently they thought Dom would’ve woken up by now, and because his vitals haven’t gotten any better, they’re starting to wonder if perhaps there’s something else going on.
“Dommie, love,” Billy whispers gently, tucking himself into the side of the bed rail, wanting to be as close to Dom as possible. “Come back to me. Let me see your eyes. I miss your smile. You know the one I’m talking about, yeah? That smile that’s just for me?”
Unfortunately, Dom’s response is as it’s been since he entered the hospital. His head is rolled slightly to the right, in Billy’s direction, but other than that, there’s been no movement. The only time his position changes are when his hands are gently cradled in someone else’s. It strikes Billy as odd, considering Dom is such a restless sleeper most of the time. He tries to blame it on the injury, but if Dom would move so much as his pinky finger, it would bring Billy such joy. That would be enough until Dom was ready to awaken.
“We’re here, love,” Billy continues, reaching up and drawing his fingers through Dom’s hair in a familiar caress. “Right here, waiting for you.”
Glancing at his watch, Billy groans internally, knowing that his hour is almost up. Austin will be here to take over in just a couple of minutes, since it’s his turn.
“I have to go soon, Dommie,” Billy murmurs tenderly. “But your Dad will be here with you, and I’ll be back in an hour, yeah? I won’t be gone long.”
Dipping his head, Billy carefully laces his fingers with Dom’s and squeezes gently, wishing that instead of leaving the room, he could stretch out in the bed next to Dom. It feels like it’s been months since they last slept curled up together, in the bed in the flat above the book shop, and right now, Billy would give anything to be there, instead of the hospital.
“I love you, Dommie,” he whispers, kissing Dom’s long, elegant fingers. “So much.”
Ever so carefully, Billy lays Dom’s hand back down on the mattress, and brushes at his damp eyes before looking up before rising to his feet, only to freeze when he finds a pair of blue-grey eyes, open to half mast, watching him.
“Dommie!”
Slowly, Dom blinks at the sound of his name, and his lips part, ever so slightly, as if he’s trying to speak.
“Oh, love,” Billy continues. “You’re in hospital, and you’ve been sleeping for a spell, but-”
“Bills,” Dom rasps weakly, his voice hoarse from disuse and irritated from the tube that had been in his throat.
“What?” Leaning over the bed so their faces are only an inch apart, Billy watches every miniscule flutter of movement, drinking in the sight of his beloved, awake and struggling to focus. “Dommie?”
“Love you,” Dom says on a breathy sigh, pursing his lips and tipping up his chin ever so slightly so their mouths meet briefly in a feathery kiss.
Billy’s face breaks out into a huge smile, fresh tears springing to his joy filled eyes. “I love you, too,” he manages to reply.
“You okay?” Dom asks, fighting to keep his eyelids from closing.
“Me? Aye, I’m fine,” Billy says quickly, realizing how quickly Dom is tiring, and that they don’t have much time. “You had to have some surgery, but you’re going to be okay.”
“‘m sleepy.”
“All right,” Billy murmurs tenderly, pressing a kiss to each of Dom’s cheeks. “You rest. We’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”
“We?” Dom repeats softly, but is unable to wait for a reply as he drifts off once again.
For several minutes, Billy can’t move, gazing at Dom, watching him sleep, the joy building inside until it overwhelms him. He’s stroking the slender line of Dom’s neck with the tip of his finger when Austin quietly clears his throat to announce himself. When Billy looks over his shoulder at him, almost glowing, Austin’s eyes widen with surprise.
“Billy?”
“He woke up,” Billy explains. “It was just for a minute, but he opened his eyes, and we talked.”
“That’s great,” Austin replies, now smiling as well.
“I should tell Aureen, unless you want to,” Billy says as he rises to his feet.
“I think she’d love to hear it from you,” the older man tells him. “She’s rather fond of your accent.”
“Aye,” Billy agrees, and then leans over the hospital bed to press a kiss to his Dom’s sweet mouth. “Love you,” he whispers.
Austin gives Billy’s shoulder a comforting squeeze as they change positions, and the Scotsman nearly floats down the hall to the waiting room, where Aureen will likely be waiting. As he steps through the doorway, Aureen looks up from reading a book that she picked up at the gift shop downstairs the day before, and upon seeing Billy’s expression, he’s rewarded with a careful smile. For a moment he can’t move, because it reminds him of Dom during the first few days that they lived together, and Dom was just a shadow of the man he would become.
“You’re smiling,” Aureen tells him as she closes her book, giving him her complete attention.
“He woke up,” Billy says simply.
The memory of the nightmare he had the night of Dom’s surgery rises up inside, reminding Billy how different things could’ve turned out, and the immense relief flowing through his exhausted limbs lowers his defenses. Billy doesn’t even realize that he’s shaking, salty tears dampening his eyelashes until Aureen gathers him in her arms, and murmurs soothingly in his ear.
“You really weren’t sure, were you?” she asks softly, petting his hair and rubbing his back. “That he was going to come through this. That’s why you wouldn’t leave him.”
“I don’t know how to be without him,” Billy confesses between harsh gasps of breath. “He’s my Dommie. I’ll do anything-”
“I know, love,” Aureen soothes. “Remember, he’s got lots of people who love him, and will be here to help you both. This is the worst it gets, and you’ve survived it.”
“Aye, I hope so,” Billy replies, nodding against Aureen’s shoulder, not resisting when she guides them over to sit down on the nearest couch.
“It’s going to be all right,” Aureen says over and over again, her own eyes bright with tears of joy.
And finally, Billy believes her.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~
Chapter 41
Author:
dylan_dufresne Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG-14
Summary: Family, friends, and learning that making it through surgery is just the beginning.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated as it’s my drug of choice. Many thanks to my beta,
frojane.Special Thanks: To
loki_girl for the exquisite banner that she has created, and to tarnishedhalo for loaning me her inspirational manip for the centerpiece. I am so thankful and appreciative of you both, and your generosity. Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. This is my imagination at work.
A/N: Warning of angst. Keep your kleenex handy for this chapter. I think you might need it.
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39
Chapter 40
It’s the sound of murmured conversation that causes Orlando to open his eyes, rousing him from the light doze he had surrendered to while Viggo slept. The voices sound familiar, and when Orlando carefully turns his head in that direction, he realizes why. Mark is accompanying a couple briskly walking hand in hand to the ICU. After what Orlando is sure was a long, difficult drive that took well into the night, Aureen and Austin have arrived from Manchester.
“Vig,” he whispers, pressing a kiss to the older man’s forehead. “Wake up.”
Jolting upright, Viggo scrubs a hand over his face, his weary eyes filled with alarm. “What? What’s wrong?”
“Dom’s parents are here,” Orlando explains, gesturing at the approaching group. “I figured you want to talk to them.”
“Yeah,” Viggo agrees, giving his head a shake. “Have you seen Bill?”
“No. And things have been quiet,” Orlando reports.
Viggo rises and isn’t too surprised when Aureen walks straight into his arms, her eyes moist as she embraces him tightly. Over the last several years, he’s gotten to know Dom’s parents a bit, and is well aware of their deep affection for their youngest son.
“How is he?” Aureen asks after she steps back and is drawn close to her husband’s side.
“Why don’t you take a look for yourself?” Viggo replies, glancing over his shoulder. “I’m sure Bill will be glad to see you both.”
Nodding, the couple follows Viggo into ICU, Orlando hanging back a few steps as before, trying to give the family some space, but also wanting to keep an eye on Viggo.
“Billy?” Aureen says softly as she approaches the foot of Dom’s hospital bed.
Billy is where Viggo left him, sitting at the edge of the bed, watching over Dom, talking to him and stroking his silky hair. Tearing his eyes away from Dom’s face, the relief is evident in the Scotsman’s expression as he rises to his feet, his head dipping as he draws close.
“I’m sorry,” he whispers regretfully. “I promised you that I’d keep him safe and-”
“Oh, love,” Aureen croons gently as she draws Billy close and guides his head down to rest on her shoulder. “Don’t you dare blame yourself for this. Mark has already explained what happened.”
For a moment, Billy allows himself to be comforted, and then he pulls back, stealing a glance over his shoulder to gaze longingly at his lover.
“I should move so you can-”
“You don’t have to leave,” Aureen interrupts.
“Actually, visitors are limited to two at a time,” Viggo interjects. “I need to talk to Bill, so why don’t you and Austin sit with Dom?”
When Billy nods in agreement, Aureen reluctantly lets him pass by and leave the room. She can see how exhausted he is, and that his health isn’t as good as it usually is. Both men have clearly been through a lot lately. While Austin takes a seat, she quickly flips through Dom’s medical chart, wanting to see for herself what is going on with her son’s care and the injuries he has sustained. Realizing that Dom is extremely fortunate to have made it this far, she presses her lips together briefly, then closes the chart and sinks into a chair across from her husband. Aureen doesn’t have to tell her husband anything because he’s seen her face, and already knows that all they can do now is wait.
The four men move into the hall outside of the ICU, and after accepting the paper cup of water that Orlando offers, Billy gives him a grateful smile, then takes a sip, soothing his parched throat. Mark offers him something that he purchased from a nearby vending machine, but Billy gently declines.
“How are you holding up?” Viggo asks quietly, feeling guilty for falling asleep while Billy has kept a vigil at Dom’s side.
“I, uh, I’m hanging in there,” Billy replies, having trouble coming up with the right word. “I just sit there, watching him breathe. It helps.”
“Bill-”
“Thank you, for everything you did for him,” Billy interrupts gently. “I don’t remember if I said that earlier. I just had to see him.”
“I understand.”
“You should go home,” Billy adds, rubbing at his weary eyes after glancing at his watch. “It’s so late.”
“We’re not leaving,” Orlando tells him, trying to hide his disbelief at Billy’s words.
“David had to go to the police station, but promised he’d be back in the morning, and Janeanne came by. She took Drew and Matt back to the group home, since they have a curfew, and will bring them back first thing. I’ve promised to call her with any changes, and we’ve already got plans to have breakfast together in the cafeteria,” Mark adds, his heart going out to the older man. “Maggie couldn’t get a flight tonight, but she’s on a standby list for the morning. Unfortunately there’s a bad storm moving in, and some flights have been cancelled. She promised that she’d be here as soon as she can. In the meantime, we’re not going anywhere, at least until we know that Dom’s going to be okay.”
“I can’t believe you’re all still here,” Billy comments, his eyes confirming the truth of his words. “After Dom got out of surgery, I thought-”
“If you really don’t want us here, we’ll leave,” Mark replies gently. “We don’t want to intrude, but speaking for myself, I like to hope that having the people who care about him close by will somehow give Dom strength; that it’ll help him through this.”
“I’m sorry if I sounded ungrateful,” Billy says quietly, sighing and lowering his head in shame. “It means a lot that-”
A moment later, Mark is sliding an arm around his shoulders for a careful hug. “You couldn’t be ungrateful if you tried, Billy. And if our positions were reversed, I know you’d be right there with me.”
“Aye, I would,” Billy admits.
“So let your friends help, okay?”
Billy releases a shaky breath. “All right then.”
“Can I bring you some tea?”
“You don’t-” Mark’s pointed look causes Billy’s protest to trail off, and then he nods. “Aye, that would be nice.”
“I’ll be back.”
“I’ll go with you,” Orlando offers. “I need to stretch my legs.”
Viggo shoots Orlando a grateful look, knowing that he’s leaving in order to provide an opportunity for Viggo and Billy to talk alone, and the younger man silently nods his understanding. The couple exchanges a brief kiss, and then the two men leave as Viggo guides Billy over to the nearby bench.
“You really should try and get some sleep, Bill,” Viggo begins. “I’m sure I can find you a cot or something.”
“No,” Billy replies quietly. “I’m not leaving him.”
“That’s what I thought.”
“So what did you want to talk to me about?” Billy asks. “What didn’t you want to say in front of the others?”
“It’s about Dom.”
“I figured as much.”
“If your refusal to sleep is because you want to be there when Dom wakes up, you’ll be waiting a while,” Viggo explains. “The surgeon wants to keep Dom asleep for a couple of days, to give his body some time. He’s been through a lot.”
“Oh.”
“It’s to help him.”
“Whatever is best,” Billy agrees shakily, blowing out a nervous breath. “Anything else?”
“Do you have any questions, about the surgery?” Viggo inquires. “Do you want to know what to expect when Dom wakes up, or do you want to wait for a while?”
“I know he’s on a drip to help his heart,” Billy reveals. “I heard the nurses talking.”
“Yeah, he does,” Viggo replies. “For now. He’ll be weaned off of it over the next couple of days.”
“You were gone for a long time,” Billy adds thoughtfully. “I’m assuming that the surgery was difficult.”
Viggo exhales heavily. “Dom had a lot of internal injuries. The bullet fragmented, and caused damage to a few of his organs. They managed to stop the bleeding, but-”
“What?” Billy prompts.
“There’s one piece of the bullet that the surgeon couldn’t remove,” Viggo admits, watching Billy’s eyes widen with fear. “It’s in a precarious place, and to disturb the surrounding tissue, trying to take it out, could cause more damage. It’s not worth the risk, considering what Dom’s been through.”
“Where is it?”
When Viggo doesn’t reply immediately, Billy’s anxiety spikes, his breath uneven, and the hand lying in his lap begins to tremble.
“Vig?”
“It’s lodged in Dom’s spinal column,” Viggo says finally. “Now we don’t know-”
“Is he-” Billy can’t bring himself to say the word, terrified at the thought of his beloved Dommie confined to a wheelchair, his long legs useless appendages.
“As near as we can tell, the spinal cord is still intact,” Viggo rushes to add. “But there’s a lot of swelling, and it’ll take time for that to go down. He’s on anti-inflammatories for that.”
“How long will it be until you know for sure?” Billy asks, green eyes glued on Viggo’s face.
“We’ll run more tests in the morning, and over the next week,” Viggo explains. “We really won’t know until Dom wakes up. Best case scenario: He’ll have complete sensation. That’s what we’re hoping for.”
“And worst case is that he never walks again,” Billy states bluntly. “Right?”
“It’s possible,” Viggo admits. “Look, Bill. I’ll sit down with Aureen and Austin in the morning-”
“No!”
“Bill, you don’t-”
“They don’t need more to worry about,” Billy interrupts firmly. “You tell nobody else. I don’t want Dom to know about it unless he absolutely has to. He’s already been through so much.”
Suddenly realizing that he should’ve known that Billy would be fiercely protective of Dom, Viggo nods. “All right then.”
“Thank you.”
“I’m worried about you, Bill,” Viggo says gently as he gazes at the other man, not missing the exhaustion and fear rolling off Billy in waves. “You just got out of the hospital. Maybe-”
“No.”
“When Dom wakes up, he’s going to need you more than ever,” Viggo says firmly. “We all know that you love him. Taking care of you isn’t selfish. You’ll feel a lot worse if you run yourself into the ground and end up back in the hospital.”
“I know.”
Billy’s response is heavy with worry and exhaustion; his shoulders slumped, almost in defeat.
“I know you’re scared, Bill-”
“Can you understand that I have to be there, because if he dies . . .”
In all the years that Viggo has known Billy, this is the most vulnerable he’s ever seen the Scotsman, and his heart aches. He’d noticed the bond between the two men early on, the day he met Dom and tended to his wounds, and the years have only made it stronger. They are part of one another, entwined at the soul. While Viggo would never vocalize it, he is sure that if Billy loses Dom tonight, he will be irrevocably broken.
“Don’t go there,” Viggo cautions quickly, gathering Billy close, stroking his back. “He’s alive, and doing all he can to get back to you.”
Reaching under his rumpled scrub shirt, Billy pulls out the silver chain that holds their wedding rings, and cradles them in his small hand.
“He’s my Dommie,” Billy breathes unsteadily. “Just the thought of-”
“Of course, Bill.”
“He protected me, and tried to get me to leave him there,” Billy confesses in a rush. “He was shot and bleeding, and when the gun was pointed at me, Dom told me to run; try to save myself. But I couldn’t leave him alone to die there, in that filthy alley. That bastard would’ve killed us both. If David had arrived just a minute later, it would’ve been too late.”
Stunned, Viggo can’t form words, and instead rubs a circle between Billy’s shoulder blades, trying to soothe the tense muscles and take a moment to compose himself.
Leaning forward and propping his head on his good hand, elbow resting on his knee, Billy closes his eyes, attempting to pull himself together. Losing control of his emotions like this is so unlike him, and he’s uncomfortable with everything being so close to the surface. He just wants Dom to open his eyes, so he can breathe again, without the fear that he’s going to lose the man he loves.
So caught up in his thoughts, Billy doesn’t hear the door to the ICU open, and Aureen approach. She meets Viggo’s eyes for a moment, and they exchange a worried look, both concerned for Billy, not only because of Dom’s precarious hold on life, but also the possibility of Billy losing Dom.
“There you are,” she says tenderly, sinking down to sit on the bench beside Billy. “We didn’t mean to chase you off, love.”
“You didn’t,” Billy says, his voice clearly wobbling, now starting to shake from the effort of holding back his tears.
Wordlessly, Aureen slides her arms around Billy’s shoulders and draws him into her embrace, tucking his head under chin and rocking him ever so gently. She’s not surprised that Billy doesn’t fight her, even though under normal circumstances, he would never be so docile. Of course, these are definitely not normal circumstances, and it’s clear that Billy has reached his breaking point, holding it together until he knew there was someone he trusted to look after Dom for a few minutes.
It’s the first time since Billy was a wee lad that he’s been held this way, comforted in Aureen’s mothering arms, keeping him safe and protecting him. The fingers stroking the fine hair at the nape of his neck slowly causes the ache in his chest to dissipate, and the murmur of Aureen’s voice across his ear gives him hope. For just a few minutes, Billy lets his defenses fall, allowing someone else to carry the burden of his overwhelming fears.
When Billy starts to sit up, Aureen doesn’t resist, familiar with the problem. She herself had to take time out in the past, when worrying about Dom became so overwhelming, and the fear that he would be lost to them forever became too much. During those times, she had Austin to lean on. In Aureen’s opinion, this is the least she can do for the man who loves her son so much.
“You should get some rest. Try to sleep,” she says gently, keeping a hand on Billy’s shoulder, for comfort and reassurance. “Austin and I thought we three could take turns sitting with Dom. Shifts of an hour or so.”
“Okay,” Billy agrees, not wanting to argue with her, even though the idea of only seeing Dom every three hours makes him uneasy. After all, Dom is their son. They’re certainly entitled to sit with him.
“Austin’s with him now, so in about an hour-”
“You can go in,” Billy interjects, nodding stiffly. “Sure.”
“No, love,” Aureen corrects, her tone gentle and soothing. “We thought you could sit with him every other hour, and Austin and I would take turns with the other hour. Is that all right with you?”
Billy looks up in surprise, his eyes wide. “But that means-”
“What?”
“I’ll get to see him more than you,” Billy explains guiltily. “You’re his parents.”
“And he’s married to you,” Aureen points out. “Your place is at his side, Billy. That’s where you’ve been for years now. Austin and I have each other. It’s okay.”
Brushing at his damp eyes, Billy nods and takes a few quick breaths to steady himself before catching movement out of the corner of his eye. Orlando and Mark have returned, each carrying a tray of steaming cups.
“We thought everyone might like some tea,” Mark explains, trying to smile a little as he offers one cup to Billy. “Sweet and milky, just the way you like it. Dom taught me one day when we were working in the shop together.”
Billy’s voice is soft and shaky as he says, “Thank you.”
“Viggo,” Aureen begins, accepting the other cup that Mark offers and directing her attention to the doctor who has been sitting quietly at Billy’s side. “The waiting room that you had everyone use tonight: Is that the closest one?”
“It is,” Viggo replies with a nod, his head tilted slightly, Orlando’s hip resting against the back of his arm, the younger man now nestled into his side, one hand resting on his shoulder.
“Then that’s where we should go,” she decides. “Do you want to go there to wait?” she asks Billy. “The couches will probably more comfortable than this bench.”
“Aye,” Billy agrees, knowing that Aureen is right, and that sitting outside the ICU doors will only heighten his anxiety as he obsessively watches the clock.
Together, the group move down the hall to the waiting room, Viggo slipping away for a few minutes, returning with a couple of pillows and a few blankets. When he enters the room and spots Billy huddled on a couch by the window, his shoulders heavy, eyes misty, Viggo’s heart breaks. Even though he wishes there was something he could do, he knows it’s fruitless. The only thing that’ll make Billy feel better is for Dom to open his eyes, and smile at him. Only then will Billy dare to allow himself to hope.
Aureen sips her tea, but when she spots Billy watching the clock over the rim of his mostly empty cup, she sighs under her breath.
“Finished?” she asks, carefully taking the tea out of Billy’s small hand and setting it on the table beside the couch. “Lie down and close your eyes.”
“Oh, I-”
“I’ll wake you when it’s time,” she interrupts to promise. “Or if there’s anything I know you’d want to hear about right away.”
“But-”
“Please? For me?”
For a long moment, Billy stares at Aureen, lost in the eyes that remind him so much of Dom, and just when she thinks she needs to cajole Billy a wee bit more, he nods.
“Aye.”
The level of Billy’s exhaustion becomes painfully clear when he curls up on the couch beside Aureen in a reluctant surrender, and is asleep in a matter of minutes. Even when Billy is snoring, Aureen continues to rub his back in a slow, soothing rhythm, doing all she can to comfort. On another couch, Orlando and Viggo settle into a comfortable position, sharing a blanket and getting some rest, but only after Aureen insists that they do so, and Mark opts to stretch out on a row of chairs by the door, his jacket more than enough to keep him warm. Sleep doesn’t come easy, but eventually, they all drift off, knowing that morning is coming, and with it, hopefully some good news.
If not, they’ll all need to be strong, to help Billy through what they can only imagine to be, is his worst nightmare.
When Viggo suddenly awakens, a bad dream having interrupted his sleep, he notices that Billy is gone, and that Austin is now stretched out on a couch next to the recently vacated space, his chest rising and falling in slow, even breaths, a blanket covering him from shoulders to feet. He looks over at the door when Aureen slips into the room, silent as a mouse, and she immediately spots Viggo’s eyes on her.
“He’s fine,” she whispers. “Go back to sleep.”
“What about you?” he inquires. “I can stay awake for a while, keep an eye on things.”
Viggo sees the hesitation in Aureen’s weary eyes, and before she can protest, he’s extracting himself from Orlando’s relaxed embrace, and rising to his feet. He’s not surprised when Orlando doesn’t stir, sprawled limply over the couch cushions, completely oblivious to everything.
“You want to be awake when you’re sitting with Dom, don’t you?” Viggo adds, guiding the older woman over to a couch not far from the one her husband is stretched out on. “You’ve been so busy taking care of everyone else, and that was after you drove down from Manchester. A nap would help.”
“I suppose-”
“Just for a while,” he finishes. “I’ll wake you up when it’s time to get Billy, and I’ll bring him back here.”
“You’re a very good friend,” she tells him, brushing a kiss across the doctor’s scruffy cheek before sinking down into the cushions.
Viggo smiles his thanks, and watches as Aureen lets her eyes drop closed. After ensuring that she’s covered with a blanket, he walks over to the window, the only evidence that Billy had slept on a nearby couch earlier - a rumpled blanket. As the sky slowly begins to change, Viggo watches dawn approach, albeit slowly, the black night giving way to deep blue. Periodically, Viggo checks his watch, wanting to be sure to keep his promise to Aureen, wondering how Billy is holding up. When time is almost up, Viggo steps away from the window and walks over to where Orlando is still sleeping, his dark curls covering nearly half his face.
He can’t even imagine how Billy is feeling right now, with Dom’s future so uncertain. Just the thought of not having Orlando in his life causes an ache to form in Viggo’s chest, and he sinks down to his knees, leaning in close to his sleeping lover. In a tender caress, he smoothes back the jumble of silky curls, and brushes a feathery kiss across Orlando’s temple. It doesn’t matter that he’s asleep, and can’t return the affection. It’s enough for Viggo to express his love to Orlando, to know that he’s safe and alive.
A quick glance at his wrist informs Viggo that it’s time to wake Aureen up, and he’s given a start when he turns, only to discover her watching him, clearly touched by the quiet moment she’s just witnessed. They rise silently, and within a couple of minutes, are walking down the hall toward ICU, leaving Mark, Austin and Orlando to sleep. Viggo sends up a silent prayer that Dom is holding his own, or perhaps even improving, because that would do a lot to ease Billy’s mind.
When they arrive at Dom’s room, Billy is gazing longingly at his unconscious partner, and even though Viggo can see his mouth moving, the sound is so quiet, he can’t make out the words. Aureen whispers Billy’s name, causing him to look over at them, and he sighs quietly before rising awkwardly to his feet. A lingering kiss is pressed to Dom’s forehead, and Billy allows Aureen to draw him close for a hug before they switch positions. While the change in Billy’s demeanor is subtle, Viggo can see the difference. The paralyzing fear has retreated a bit, and Billy’s quiet strength is beginning to take control once again.
“His heart’s doing better,” Billy reports. “And they’ve almost finished replacing the blood he lost.”
“That’s great, Bill,” Viggo replies, trying to smile encouragingly as his arm slides around Billy’s shoulders for a brief squeeze. “Every little bit helps.”
“I think his color is a wee bit better, too.”
“I think you’re right,” Aureen says in agreement.
“You’re probably stiff from sitting in that chair,” Viggo comments. “Want to take a walk?”
“Is the cafeteria open?” Billy inquires, rubbing absently at his belly. “I was sitting there, teasing Dom about the sugar he likes to sneak into his porridge, and then I realized that I haven’t eaten since lunch yesterday.”
“The cafeteria is open twenty-four hours,” Viggo tells him. “C’mon. I’ll buy you some breakfast.”
“I think you’ll have to,” Billy says ruefully, looking down at himself. “I don’t have a penny on me. I’m not even wearing my own clothes.”
Viggo chuckles briefly, and then leads the way, relieved to see the Billy he knows starting to reemerge from the darkness and fear that threatened to consume him. He’s clinging to a shred of hope now, and Viggo prays that it’s not a mistake.
Several hours later, the sun is peeking over the horizon, and Billy is sitting at Dom’s side again, his belly full of tea and food. While he’s clearly still concerned, the fact that Dom is continuing to stabilize is of some comfort to him.
As promised, David, Matt and Drew have all returned, and at Billy’s insistence everyone has breakfast together in the cafeteria, their spirits higher, since Dom has made it through the night with no problems. When Billy returns to the waiting room, Austin now sitting with Dom, he’s pleasantly surprised by a gift from Mark, in the form of a fresh set of clothes, and the framed photo from the mantle of the couple in front of Big Ben.
“Maggie called this morning,” Mark says to Billy, his brow furrowed. “The storm’s gotten worse in Glasgow, and they’ve grounded all aircraft. She wanted me to tell you that she’s going to try the train station-”
“Did you bring my mobile?” Billy interjects.
“Yeah,” Mark replies, digging into his backpack and producing the item. “But Billy-”
“Thank you. I’m just going to ring her,” Billy says, giving the younger man a weak smile before turning and walking across the room, attempting to find a quiet corner to make the call.
Nearly twenty minutes pass as brother and sister converse, Billy’s tone low, his accent a wee bit heavier, but on a few occasions, words are overheard by the rest of the group. It quickly becomes clear that he’s trying to convince Maggie not to go to any extraordinary lengths to get to him, because they’re okay. Dom has made it through surgery, and the last thing Billy wants is for someone else he loves to be hurt, especially when it’s avoidable. At last, Billy is successful and Maggie agrees to wait until the weather has improved, under the solemn promise that Billy or someone else calls her with any changes to Dom’s condition. When they say goodbye, Billy manages a small smile, thanking Maggie for being a wonderful sister.
There is comfort in the familiar, friends and family a distraction, and throughout the morning, Billy notices that the weight on his shoulders is getting a wee bit easier to bear, but it isn’t long before he starts to grow anxious again, needing to be close to Dom. He’s just stepping inside the doors of the ICU, Viggo a step behind him, when the urgent wail of an alarm from a machine in Dom’s hospital room shatters the peace.
“No!” Billy cries out, lunging toward the sound, instantly panicked, only to be caught up in Viggo’s strong embrace and held tight. “Let me go. I have to-”
“They need room to work, Bill,” Viggo explains, watching helplessly as a team of doctors and nurses rush into the room, fearing the worst. Perhaps Dom’s luck has run out at last. “Let them do their jobs.”
“But, Dommie-” Billy protests, tears flooding his eyes, body trembling violently. “I don’t want him to be alone if-”
The next two minutes are the longest of Billy’s life, and when he watches the medical staff start to leave the room, his fear explodes, knees suddenly too weak to sustain his weight.
“Vig-” he gasps. “What’s going-”
Billy trails off when Aureen emerges, and he can’t breathe. Everything slows to a crawl, the beating of his heart thunderously loud in his head. As soon as Aureen spots him, however, she smiles and opens her arms, causing Viggo to loosen his grip. Billy rushes over to her, desperate for an explanation.
“He’s all right,” she says tenderly, rubbing Billy’s back, the relief evident in her eyes. “Dom started fighting the tube in his throat that’s been helping him breathe. It caught us all by surprise, as it’s usually a much slower process. I should’ve known that he would be stubborn about it, even when he’s unconscious. He was born that way.”
Looking over Aureen’s shoulder, Billy watches a nurse finish wiping Dom’s face, his mouth now free of the breathing contraption, noticing that a thin clear tube has been looped over Dom’s ears and under his nose.
“They’ll keep giving him some extra oxygen to make things easier for him, but he’s off the respirator now,” Aureen adds, turning them so they’re both facing Dom.
“So this is good news?” Billy asks quietly, almost too scared to hope.
“Yes, it is,” Aureen confirms, giving him a gentle squeeze as the nurse slips out of the room. “Go on in.”
Not needing a second invitation, Billy hurries over to Dom’s bedside, smoothing back his tousled blonde hair and pressing a kiss to each cheek. For a long moment, Billy reverently cups Dom’s face in his small hand, sliding his thumb back and forth across Dom’s slack lips, and then he places a lingering kiss on them as well. Sinking down into the chair and glancing around the room, Billy notices that there are less medications hanging on the IV stand, and that Dom’s heartbeat is stronger, if the waves on the monitor are to be believed. So caught up in Dom, Billy doesn’t notice Viggo and Aureen leave, and doesn’t move until a familiar looking nurse steps into the room over half an hour later, carrying Dom’s chart.
“Do you need me to move?” he asks quickly.
Billy knows that the rules have been bent to allow Dom to have someone with him at all times, and he doesn’t want to do anything that result in having those privileges taken away.
“No, you can stay right where you are,” she replies kindly. “I’m just going to check his vitals.”
“Okay.”
Silently, Billy watches the nurse take Dom’s temperature with a device that she holds briefly to his ear, adjusts the plastic clip on his index finger that monitors his oxygen level, and check his blood pressure with a navy blue arm cuff. After she finishes recording all of the information onto the spreadsheets in Dom’s chart, the nurse looks up to meet Billy’s eyes.
“Well?”
“He’s doing just fine,” she replies, and then consults the numbers again, a tiny smile curling up the corners of her mouth.
“What?”
“There’s no definitive evidence that unconscious people can hear what’s going on around them, but there are some medical professionals who believe that patients who have loved ones talk to them get better faster.”
“I talk to him,” Billy tells her. “Just in case.”
“Well, I’m no doctor, but I think it’s helping.”
“Why?”
Leaning over, the nurse points at the heart monitor. “According to his chart, Dom’s heart beats faster when you’re in the room,” she reveals. “Around ten beats more a minute.”
“Is that okay?” Billy asks quickly. “Will that hurt him?”
“It’s fine,” she replies. “Personally, I think it’s rather romantic.”
“Do you hear that, Dommie?” Billy says, trying to smile so Dom can hear it in his voice. “You’re bloody well unconscious and you’re still charming. Quite a skill you’ve got there, love.”
“I’ll leave you two alone,” the nurse says, smiling as she slips out of the room.
The next forty-eight hours are measured by the rotating shift of visitors to Dom’s room, and the world outside the walls of the hospital ceases to exist for Billy and Dom’s parents. Billy gets used to sleeping for an hour at a time in the waiting room, in an attempt to maximize his alertness when he’s sitting with Dom in ICU. Wanting to be helpful, Mark calls Maggie in Glasgow twice a day, ensuring she’s kept up to date on how Dom is doing, and to check on how the weather is, later reporting to Billy that it’s slowly improving. After two days, the decision is made to wean Dom off the sedative that has been keeping him asleep, allowing him to wake on his own, and that only makes Billy more determined to be there when Dom finally opens his eyes.
According to the doctor assigned to Dom’s case, he’s out of immediate danger, which is a relief to everyone, but the surgeon also warns them that Dom will require an extended length of time to recover from his injuries. It comes as a relief to everyone that Dom’s kidney’s are functioning normally, and there doesn’t appear to be any sign of infection so far. Of course, so much isn’t known right now, and won’t be until Dom wakes up and they find out the level of sensation he has in his lower extremities. Frankly, Billy will take any good news he can, and holds tight to the belief that Dom will awaken soon. That’ll be the first step in his recovery, and eventual return home.
Dom has been off the sedative for more than a day and a half, Billy counting every last minute of that time, when he overhears a pair of doctors talking just outside of Dom’s room. Their voices are low, as to not disturb the patients, but since he’s hypersensitive to any news about his partner, Billy strains to hear when he realizes that they’re discussing Dom. As the specifics of their conversation begin to sink in, Billy’s breath catches and his belly twists into a tight knot. Apparently they thought Dom would’ve woken up by now, and because his vitals haven’t gotten any better, they’re starting to wonder if perhaps there’s something else going on.
“Dommie, love,” Billy whispers gently, tucking himself into the side of the bed rail, wanting to be as close to Dom as possible. “Come back to me. Let me see your eyes. I miss your smile. You know the one I’m talking about, yeah? That smile that’s just for me?”
Unfortunately, Dom’s response is as it’s been since he entered the hospital. His head is rolled slightly to the right, in Billy’s direction, but other than that, there’s been no movement. The only time his position changes are when his hands are gently cradled in someone else’s. It strikes Billy as odd, considering Dom is such a restless sleeper most of the time. He tries to blame it on the injury, but if Dom would move so much as his pinky finger, it would bring Billy such joy. That would be enough until Dom was ready to awaken.
“We’re here, love,” Billy continues, reaching up and drawing his fingers through Dom’s hair in a familiar caress. “Right here, waiting for you.”
Glancing at his watch, Billy groans internally, knowing that his hour is almost up. Austin will be here to take over in just a couple of minutes, since it’s his turn.
“I have to go soon, Dommie,” Billy murmurs tenderly. “But your Dad will be here with you, and I’ll be back in an hour, yeah? I won’t be gone long.”
Dipping his head, Billy carefully laces his fingers with Dom’s and squeezes gently, wishing that instead of leaving the room, he could stretch out in the bed next to Dom. It feels like it’s been months since they last slept curled up together, in the bed in the flat above the book shop, and right now, Billy would give anything to be there, instead of the hospital.
“I love you, Dommie,” he whispers, kissing Dom’s long, elegant fingers. “So much.”
Ever so carefully, Billy lays Dom’s hand back down on the mattress, and brushes at his damp eyes before looking up before rising to his feet, only to freeze when he finds a pair of blue-grey eyes, open to half mast, watching him.
“Dommie!”
Slowly, Dom blinks at the sound of his name, and his lips part, ever so slightly, as if he’s trying to speak.
“Oh, love,” Billy continues. “You’re in hospital, and you’ve been sleeping for a spell, but-”
“Bills,” Dom rasps weakly, his voice hoarse from disuse and irritated from the tube that had been in his throat.
“What?” Leaning over the bed so their faces are only an inch apart, Billy watches every miniscule flutter of movement, drinking in the sight of his beloved, awake and struggling to focus. “Dommie?”
“Love you,” Dom says on a breathy sigh, pursing his lips and tipping up his chin ever so slightly so their mouths meet briefly in a feathery kiss.
Billy’s face breaks out into a huge smile, fresh tears springing to his joy filled eyes. “I love you, too,” he manages to reply.
“You okay?” Dom asks, fighting to keep his eyelids from closing.
“Me? Aye, I’m fine,” Billy says quickly, realizing how quickly Dom is tiring, and that they don’t have much time. “You had to have some surgery, but you’re going to be okay.”
“‘m sleepy.”
“All right,” Billy murmurs tenderly, pressing a kiss to each of Dom’s cheeks. “You rest. We’ll be here when you wake up. I promise.”
“We?” Dom repeats softly, but is unable to wait for a reply as he drifts off once again.
For several minutes, Billy can’t move, gazing at Dom, watching him sleep, the joy building inside until it overwhelms him. He’s stroking the slender line of Dom’s neck with the tip of his finger when Austin quietly clears his throat to announce himself. When Billy looks over his shoulder at him, almost glowing, Austin’s eyes widen with surprise.
“Billy?”
“He woke up,” Billy explains. “It was just for a minute, but he opened his eyes, and we talked.”
“That’s great,” Austin replies, now smiling as well.
“I should tell Aureen, unless you want to,” Billy says as he rises to his feet.
“I think she’d love to hear it from you,” the older man tells him. “She’s rather fond of your accent.”
“Aye,” Billy agrees, and then leans over the hospital bed to press a kiss to his Dom’s sweet mouth. “Love you,” he whispers.
Austin gives Billy’s shoulder a comforting squeeze as they change positions, and the Scotsman nearly floats down the hall to the waiting room, where Aureen will likely be waiting. As he steps through the doorway, Aureen looks up from reading a book that she picked up at the gift shop downstairs the day before, and upon seeing Billy’s expression, he’s rewarded with a careful smile. For a moment he can’t move, because it reminds him of Dom during the first few days that they lived together, and Dom was just a shadow of the man he would become.
“You’re smiling,” Aureen tells him as she closes her book, giving him her complete attention.
“He woke up,” Billy says simply.
The memory of the nightmare he had the night of Dom’s surgery rises up inside, reminding Billy how different things could’ve turned out, and the immense relief flowing through his exhausted limbs lowers his defenses. Billy doesn’t even realize that he’s shaking, salty tears dampening his eyelashes until Aureen gathers him in her arms, and murmurs soothingly in his ear.
“You really weren’t sure, were you?” she asks softly, petting his hair and rubbing his back. “That he was going to come through this. That’s why you wouldn’t leave him.”
“I don’t know how to be without him,” Billy confesses between harsh gasps of breath. “He’s my Dommie. I’ll do anything-”
“I know, love,” Aureen soothes. “Remember, he’s got lots of people who love him, and will be here to help you both. This is the worst it gets, and you’ve survived it.”
“Aye, I hope so,” Billy replies, nodding against Aureen’s shoulder, not resisting when she guides them over to sit down on the nearest couch.
“It’s going to be all right,” Aureen says over and over again, her own eyes bright with tears of joy.
And finally, Billy believes her.
Chapter 41
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