With A Little Help From My Friends

[dylan-dufresne.livejournal.com]

Title: With A Little Help From My Friends - 21
Author: dylan_dufresne
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: NC-17, most definitely.
Summary: The oppressive, suffocating wall that’s been building between the lovers is torn down in an uninhibited explosion, with unexpected results.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated as it’s my drug of choice. Many thanks to my beta, frojane.
Special Thanks: To loki_girl for the exquisite banner that she has created, and to tarnishedhalo for loaning me her inspirational manip for the centerpiece. I am so thankful and appreciative of you both, and your generosity.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality. This is my imagination at work.
A/N: This was a rather challenging chapter to write, but I’m pleased with how it turned out.
Previous Chapters: 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20


Chapter 21

Long fingers grip Billy’s shoulders, mouths meeting and parting in hard, wet kisses as Dom almost forces a knee between Billy’s thighs in his desperate need to be closer.

What does Dom want? What does he need from me? Billy wonders as he returns the hungry kisses, hands holding Dom firmly at his slender hips. The questions are there, persistent at the back of Billy’s mind, but thanks to Dom’s relentless, stabbing tongue and the rock hard arousal grinding against his hip, Billy’s finding it increasingly difficult to concentrate. All the pain and frustration that’s been building because of the awkwardness and distance has now been unleashed, the couple caught up in a hurricane of powerful emotions and passion.

When his lungs scream for oxygen, Dom finally releases Billy’s now swollen mouth, only to bury his face in his lover’s pale neck, sucking and nipping at the curve of tender skin. Billy unconsciously tilts his head to one side to give Dom more room to work, and is unprepared when Dom’s hands grip the lapels of his shirt, giving the material a savage yank. Buttons tear free and fall, bouncing on the kitchen floor, Billy gasping when Dom’s long fingers find his nipples and squeeze them, almost roughly, causing the sensitive flesh to harden into tight, rosy peaks. Billy opens his mouth to say something, but his words become a ragged cry when Dom’s sharp teeth clamp down on the spot where neck and shoulder meet, bruising him and threatening to break the skin.

“Dommeh!” Billy moans raggedly, surprised when there is intense pleasure, along with the twinge of pain.

Distantly, Billy realizes that he’s grabbed fistfuls of Dom’s t-shirt and is none too gently dragging it up his heaving torso while their aroused bodies writhe together and stumble out of the kitchen, into the hallway. Dom is panting breathlessly when he finally pulls back long enough to let the offending clothing be removed, and before the material drops to the floor, his elegant fingers are tangled in Billy’s ginger hair.

“Touch me,” Dom demands, the intensity of his expression as they look into each others eyes stealing Billy’s breath.

Dom doesn’t allow Billy any time to respond, and curls into Billy’s firm body as their mouths lock again, lips parting and teeth clashing as he clutches at Billy’s back, whimpering into his mouth. Head spinning as he struggles to find some control, before things get completely out of hand, Billy returns the hungry kiss, leaning against the wall for balance as his hips rock forward. Unable to stop himself. Unable to deny anything that Dom wants. Cupping the fragile curve of Dom’s skull in his small hands, Billy feasts on his lover’s wet mouth, nipping and sucking at Dom’s pouty lower lip, the desire growing at a dizzying rate when Dom moans with undeniable pleasure. The sound of tearing fabric is heard, and moments later Billy’s trousers are shoved down over his hips, along with his cotton boxers, and then short, blunt fingernails are being dragged across his lower back.

The thought of Dom marking him while overcome with passion is Billy’s undoing, and he’s only vaguely aware of his hands tearing open Dom’s blue jeans and pushing them down to the floor as their mouths continue to clash in desperate, wild kisses. A tight hiss pushes free of Billy’s cherubic mouth when Dom’s fingernails dig too deep into the soft skin of his hips, and as Dom pants an apology against Billy’s parted lips, their needy touch for one another increases exponentially. Finesse is lost, giving way to carnal need, and it’s only when Dom arches his back and mewls wantonly that Billy realizes how far gone they really are.

Never having experienced such powerful emotions, Billy is shaken, all the way to the core of his being, and automatically he draws Dom’s lithe body closer, seeking as well as wanting to be able to offer comfort, if it’s required. When Dom wraps his long arms around Billy’s torso and buries his face in Billy’s neck, nipping at the tendon and sucking hard, what little remains of his control dissolves in a surge of heat. Billy’s ravenous need to be buried to the hilt inside his normally shy, gentle lover is stunning in its power, and within moments they’ve switched positions, Dom trapped against the wall, his thighs shoved apart so Billy can press firmly between them. Wordlessly, Dom braces his hands on Billy’s shoulders, pauses to pull the shirt down his strong arms, and then wraps a long leg around Billy’s bare waist in encouragement. Eyes smoldering and seductive mouth glistening, Dom wantonly sucks two of Billy’s small fingers into his mouth, all the way down to the webbing, and as Billy hungrily watches with glittering eyes, Dom guides them down his trembling body to press between his cheeks.

Dom cries out breathlessly when Billy breaches his most intimate place, a ragged moan of pleasure washing over Billy in waves as Dom writhes, desperate for more, and his refusal to be patient only increases Billy’s lust. Arching his back to rub his aching and neglected nipples against the delicious friction of Billy’s furry chest, Dom shudders when Billy suddenly pulls back and lowers his head, sucking one of the rosy peaks between his teeth. Dom thrashes wildly at the erotic touch, bucking when Billy’s fingertips begin petting the tiny bundle of nerves deep inside him. While he wants to keep teasing Dom’s nipple, Billy is forced to move his attention higher when Dom’s fingers card through his hair and he’s urged up until their lips meet once again.

In a move so foreign to his character that Billy has trouble believing it’s actually him, Billy pins Dom to the wall with his body, trapping him in the intimate embrace, and demands entrance to Dom’s swollen mouth, teasing and then sucking on his impossibly long tongue, making Dom gasp when he bites it ever so carefully. At the same time, Billy relentlessly slides his small fingers in and out of Dom’s tight entrance until its well stretched, slick and ready for him. Dom’s hands roam endlessly over Billy’s bare skin as he’s repeatedly breached, clutching at pale flesh and whimpering into Billy’s mouth when the pleasure gets to be too much to contain. Billy is still kissing Dom when he withdraws his fingers and quickly replaces them with his throbbing erection.

The younger man gasps at the intense stretch when Billy maneuvers their position until Dom’s long legs are wrapped around his waist, and with hands gripping the round cheeks of Dom’s arse to support his weight, Billy thrusts hard, slamming their bodies together, and driving himself home. Throwing his head back as a ragged scream of ecstasy rips from his throat, Dom is unable to control his hands as he’s completely overwhelmed, and the result is long scratches and small, red welts across Billy’s back.

Utterly lost to the needs of his body, Billy pounds into Dom in rapid, greedy thrusts, sweat slicking their bodies and arousal making them both shake. Dom’s surrender to Billy is absolute as the depths of their desire stun them to the point that they can’t speak, and Billy pants against the throbbing pulse in his lover’s throat. At breakneck speed, they race towards orgasm, Dom’s breathless mewling urging Billy on as their bodies rut together in wild abandonment.

Slamming Dom’s lithe body against the wall, Billy tightens his grip on Dom’s cheeks as he jackhammers his hips, and a few seconds later he climaxes, screaming the release as he buries himself to the hilt in Dom’s tight, velvet heat. Dom’s orgasm washes over him less than a minute later as Billy is sinking to his knees, his slowly softening erection pressing against Dom’s sweet spot, the change in position causing a more intense stretch. Glittery fluid pulses against Billy’s heaving belly, and they’re both shaking violently as they come to rest on the floor, clinging to one another tightly.

The force of Billy’s orgasm has left him weak and dizzy, and within several seconds he’s shifting to lie down, flat on his back with Dom sprawled over him, their bodies still intimately locked. Endless minutes pass without words, the only sound in room being the lovers gasping for breath as heart rates slow, and Billy laces his fingers across Dom’s sweaty back to keep their bodies close. Dom’s cheek rests on Billy’s shoulder, nose tucked into the side of his neck, and even though Dom’s vaguely concerned that he’s too heavy to be on top of Billy, he can’t bring himself to relinquish the position and move.

Now that the raging desire has been at least temporarily sated, Billy’s mind slowly emerges from the hazy fog while sweat begins to cool. Primal. That’s the only word that Billy can come up with to describe the incredible experience he and Dom have just shared. It wasn’t tender or romantic lovemaking, like so many of their past encounters, and it was far beyond wild, lusty shagging, like the night they got tipsy while celebrating Dom’s acceptance into uni. This is so beyond anything Billy has ever experienced before, he has trouble even accepting what they’ve just done. It was as though they had to come together this way, and be joined so intimately, or die.

Billy isn’t even aware that he’d fallen asleep until he’s urged from his dozing state by Dom’s teeth nipping repeatedly at his neck, causing rosy bruises to form, followed by a long lick to the hollow of his throat. While his hands rest loosely on Dom’s bare hips, Billy keeps his eyes closed as the younger man rains wet, sucking kisses over his pale skin, from his scruffy jaw line to his pale collarbones.

Hands moving continually, Dom’s touch is relentless, seeking more from his prone lover, fingers dragging through chest hair then tweaking nipples until they’re pert and dark pink. Billy is unprepared when Dom’s hot mouth closes over a taut peak, sucking hard, and then his warm, wet tongue flicks across the tip as teeth sink into the sensitive skin. The ragged cry from Billy that fills the quiet air doesn’t even register with Dom, his concentration solely on the naked body beneath him, and the insatiable need he’s desperately attempting to quench.

Shifting some of his weight onto his knees, Dom’s left hand slides down Billy’s furry, heaving torso, fingernails scratching lightly across his slightly pooched belly, and causing a gasp, of pleasure or pain, Billy’s not quite sure. A moment later, both of their arousals are enveloped by Dom’s long fingers, the vulnerable flesh swelling and stiffening when Dom begins to pump his fist in a swift, punishing rhythm. The intensity of the movement is like nothing Billy has ever known, his back arching and body flailing, utterly helpless and at the mercy of his lover’s touch. Panting for breath, Billy somehow manages to grab hold of Dom’s firm biceps, and with all of his strength, forcibly drags the younger man up his aroused body, away from his raging erection.

Teeth clash and scrape across stubbled skin as the couple exchange fierce, wet kisses, shaking violently, blood thrumming hot and greedy hands grasping in desperation, needing more, but not knowing what that means. Almost ferocious with passion, Dom thrusts his tongue into Billy’s swollen mouth possessively, delving deep in search of the honeyed sweetness, his hard body only serving to give Billy a taste of what’s to come, and tear away Billy’s ability to speak as their bodies writhe together. With one hand on Dom’s hip, the other tangled in his mussed, silky hair, Billy attempts to soothe his lover, calm and perhaps guide him through the storm that has enveloped them, but that ends when Dom attacks his throat.

Nipping at the moist, salty skin, marking the pale skin and then soothing it with his tongue, almost apologetically, Dom grips Billy at his waist, hips digging hard, his body stating the need that he’s seemingly unable to form into words. Billy can feel the trembling and ferocity burning through Dom’s lithe form, desperation reducing him to these primal, carnal actions, and he can’t stop himself. In the blink of an eye, Billy swiftly rolls them over so their positions are reversed, Dom’s lean thighs spread wide with Billy pressed between them, and before Dom can even realize what’s happened, Billy is aligning their throbbing arousals, trapping them between their heaving bellies. Needing to brace his weight and secure leverage on the slippery, hardwood floor, Billy shifts onto his knees, hands gripping Dom’s bare shoulders as he begins to thrust, long and deep, face buried in Dom’s damp neck.

Bucking wildly, Dom’s mewls of ecstasy mix with Billy’s breathless pants while they rut together, writhing and clutching at naked flesh, the sweat causing Dom’s skin to squeak from the friction against the floor. Long fingers card through Billy’s hair long enough to yank his face up, their mouths meeting in hard, hungry kisses, teeth bruising and lips sucking, and then he’s crying out in pain, Dom’s fingernails raking fresh welts across his slick back. There is a scramble for domination, Billy holding Dom’s elegant hands to his chest, but that only lasts until he looks up to meet the dark, pleading eyes of his lover.

When Dom feels Billy start to pull away, instinct takes over, and after pulling his hands free, tightly wraps all four limbs around the older man, so he cannot escape. Clinging to his lover like a limpet, Dom is only vaguely aware when Billy struggles to his feet, small hands cupping his arse, and a few moments later, they’re tumbling onto the rumpled bed sheets, Dom on his back, Billy rising above him. Gazing up at Billy with passion-flushed eyes, Dom tightens his hold on Billy’s back, his whole body shaking, and he groans wantonly at the sensation of their bodies pressed together. Irrationally worried that he’ll be left alone in their bed, Dom locks his legs around Billy’s bare waist, preparing himself for a fight, only to whimper with almost unbearable pleasure when Billy’s pointy tongue deftly pushes between his lips.

Back arching in an obscenely submissive bow, Dom exposes his throat, offering it to Billy, and he visibly shudders when sharp teeth trail along his jugular, the erratic pulse throbbing beneath Billy’s tongue. Delirious with desire, Dom doesn’t resist when Billy settles his weight over him, pushing Dom’s thighs apart even further than before, and an achingly tender kiss is pressed to the hollow of his throat. The urge to hold Billy close is overpowering, and Dom struggles for a few moments in frustration, until he discovers why his arms refuse to obey him.

Small fingers have been clamped in an iron grip around Dom’s elegant wrists so Billy can pin them to the bed, and Dom looks down just as he’s breached for a second time tonight. Hot breath is released in a surprised gasp when their bodies slam together, Billy thrusting long and deep, pushing Dom further up the mattress towards the headboard, stretching the younger man to the limit as the strength and rhythm of his hips begin to grow. Thrashing about as Billy pounds his lithe body into the soft sheets, Dom desperately tries to find a way to touch Billy, to deepen the connection between their entwined bodies, impending orgasm stealing his focus, and it takes several attempts before he manages to lock his ankles around his lover’s back. The friction of his neglected erection, being frantically rubbed against the ginger hair of Billy’s torso, causes Dom to whimper out a long, wanton moan, the leaking fluid smearing and slicking their heaving stomachs.

Burying his face in the vulnerable curve of Dom’s slender neck, Billy shifts lightly and rocks his pelvis, eliciting a ragged scream of ecstasy from the man beneath him as he brushes over the tiny bundle of nerves deep inside. Realizing that he’s found Dom’s sweet spot, Billy redoubles his efforts, rolling his hips in a swift, erotic pattern that causes Dom to buck and flail wildly, struggling in vain and ragged moans falling from his swollen mouth. Dom arches his spine between gasps of breath, wanting to give every inch of his body to his lover, and sharp teeth nip at Dom’s skin between shoulder and neck, marking him for all to see.

Surrendering to the pounding onslaught of orgasm, Dom’s moans of ecstasy becomes a ragged cry as he shamelessly begs for release, muscles clamping down hard on Billy’s throbbing arousal, and at the dark, hungry look in his lover’s eyes, Dom throws back his head and climaxes violently. At the incredible sight of Dom spasming beneath him, Billy lets go, pouring himself into Dom in several long thrusts, and then his strength is gone, his body weakly sinking down, settling into the line of Dom’s slender form.

For long minutes there is no sound, save for uneven breath slowly returning to normal, and then the quiet scrape of stubble against Dom’s collarbone when Billy tucks his small nose into the line of his lover’s throat. A sleepy sigh floats out, hot breath caressing Dom’s neck, and then a whistling snore begins, causing Dom’s swollen mouth to curl up into a smile. Carefully unwrapping his legs from around the older man, Dom lowers the wobbly limbs to the mattress, and gives his left wrist a cautious turn, to see if he can move. Not surprisingly, since Billy has fallen asleep, his powerful grip has relaxed, and Dom is able to slip free and move both of his arms about freely.

Exhaling quietly, as not to disturb his lover’s rest, Dom slowly wraps his arms around Billy torso, fingertips lightly stroking the bare skin as sweat cools, goose bumps forming on the damp flesh. An achingly gentle kiss is brushed across Billy’s damp forehead while one of Dom’s hands comes to rest at the nape of Billy’s neck, the other securely cupping his hip. Closing his eyes, Dom lays quietly for long minutes, listening to Billy’s breathing, feeling the steady rhythm of his heartbeat, and it’s only when he’s sure that Billy has sunk deeply into pleasant dreams that he tenderly rolls them onto their sides, allowing their bodies to slip apart. Billy murmurs incoherently under his breath, burrowing to Dom’s warmth, and doesn’t react when Dom tugs a blanket up from the foot of the bed to cover their bare skin.

Once assured that they’ll stay warm through the cool night, Dom presses one last kiss to Billy’s damp hair, snuggles into the embrace of his sated lover, and surrenders to exhaustion. In short, it’s been one incredible, memorable night. One that neither of them will ever forget.

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Thanks to the exhaustion and stress that has taken its toll on both men over the past seven days, and despite the fact that they’d ended up falling asleep unusually early, it’s nearly seven o’clock in the morning when Billy opens his eyes. Blinking slowly to bring the dimly lit room into focus as he turns his head, Billy’s gaze finally locates the clock on the night stand to ascertain how much time they have before the alarm buzzes. It’s then that he notices light from the hallway, and realizes that they left the lights on, all night long. Their dinner plates are still on the table where they left them, clothes lying in a crumpled heap on the hall floor where they were hastily discarded.

Looking down, Billy can’t help but smile at the way Dom has nestled himself into the curve of his body, and tucked his face into the side of Billy’s neck. The slow, steady rhythm of moist breath against his skin informs Billy that his lover is fast asleep, lying limp and trustingly in the circle of his arms. Memories of the previous night begin to wash over Billy, causing his heart to flutter, and his breath quickens. Billy is unable to recall ever feeling or conducting himself as he did last night, and is willing to bet that the same is true for Dom. Never before has he been so uninhibited, surrendering completely to his partner, and their sexual needs.

A warm smile is turning up the corners of his mouth as he slowly draws his small hands over his lover’s bare flesh, nudging the blanket covering them aside, and then he makes a shocking discovery. A bruise is marring Dom’s soft skin, along the sensuous curve of his shoulder and down his slender back. Mouth hanging open in surprise and confusion, Billy leans in to get a closer look, and then has to stifle a gasp of horror. Now shaking visibly, Billy carefully withdraws from Dom’s lean body, watching as the younger man shifts, rolling onto his stomach, seeking the warmth he’s just been deprived of, and as Dom slumbers on, completely oblivious, Billy draws the blanket lower, his heart sinking.

Pale violet bruises mark Dom’s body in numerous areas: his shoulders, upper arms, the middle of his back, and even the sweet curve of his arse. The markings are unmistakable, even to the naked eye, and when Billy measures them against his shaking hand, confirming that it is he who is responsible for them, guilt squeezes his belly, twisting it into painful knots. Further inspection reveals love bites along the side of Dom’s slender neck, but the most heart-wrenching discovery is when Billy’s concerned gaze lands on Dom’s elegant wrists.

There, alongside Dom’s beloved black leather cuffs are finger-shaped bruises, where Billy’s small hands imprisoned his lover in a punishing grip. A rush of memories crash over Billy like a tidal wave, overwhelming him as he recalls the sensation of Dom trapped beneath him, how he savagely held his lover down, forced himself inside and brutally violated him. Bile rises sharply in Billy’s throat, threatening to choke him, and it’s with a ragged whimper of shame that he slides off the edge of the bed, sinking to his knees on the cold floor. A hand covers his mouth to silence the sob of distress that is trying to escape, and hot tears fill Billy’s tormented eyes as he realizes what he has done, what the loss of his control has resulted in.

Horrified at his behavior and drowning in shame at his unforgivable actions, Billy watches Dom for long minutes, cursing himself repeatedly for causing his lover pain. It had taken months for Dom to overcome his fears of the past and open himself up to Billy, after being used, abused and discarded, and now he has been assaulted by the man he loves. Ashamed of what he’s done, how he’s destroyed the trust that was so difficult for his sweet, gentle lover to give, Billy lowers his head as tears roll down his cheeks.

Backing away without looking up, Billy slowly gets to his feet, and wraps himself up in his robe to cover his nudity before sinking down into the chair in the corner. He takes a moment to wipe away the wetness on his cheeks with his sleeve, and then wraps his arms around himself, watching Dom sleep, and waiting for him to awaken. The least he deserves is to be there when Dom opens his eyes, and witness the damage that he has done. There are no words to describe the guilt and disgust Billy feels for himself, knowing how his actions have harmed, and the irreparable damage that he’s done to the man he loves more than life itself.

Anxiety and dread grow as the minutes tick by, and when the alarm goes off, shattering the quiet, Billy flinches before curling into himself, as though attempting become invisible. Staying utterly still, Billy watches Dom blindly reach over and fumble with the buttons of the clock until the offending item is finally silenced, and then stretch out on his back on the mattress. Yawning widely and raising his arms over his head, Dom smacks his lips and wiggles his nose before rolling over, reaching across Billy’s side of the bed, never having opened his eyes. When he only finds cool sheets, Dom’s brow furrows, and a moment later, Billy watches the long eyelashes flutter open.

“Bills?” Dom asks sleepily, swallowing a yawn as he pushes himself up onto one elbow, arching an eyebrow when he spots Billy in the corner. “Hey.”

Billy opens his mouth to speak, but emotions steal his voice, and he looks down as fresh tears fill his troubled eyes. He’s not surprised to discover his fingers laced together, squeezing so tight his knuckles are white, and his hands are starting to ache.

“Bills?” Dom repeats, pushing himself up into a sitting position. “What-”

“I am so sorry,” Billy chokes out, forcing himself to look up and meet Dom’s confused gaze. “I swear that I never meant to hurt you. I could never-”

Unable to continue, Billy buries his face in his hands, sucking harsh breaths into his lungs and trembling. Hearing the rustling of linen, he waits to hear Dom disappear into the loo or down the hall, and is surprised when he feels movement at his feet. Eyes flashing open, Billy can only stare in shock at the sight of Dom kneeling in front of him, naked, reaching for and then lacing their fingers together.

“What’s wrong?” Dom asks gently, this thumb sweeping back and forth in a soothing rhythm. “You look like you’re about to cry.”

“Last night,” Billy replies, averting his eyes and biting down on his lower lip for a moment as he regains his composure. “I hurt you.”

“Bills, it was an argument,” Dom says soothingly. “It’s all right.”

“No,” Billy rasps unsteadily. “After that. I- I held you down, on the, the bed, and I- I forced myself onto you. Just like-” Unable to bear the pained looked in Dom’s eyes that’s he’s so sure is there, Billy looks away, now shaking violently. “There’s no excuse for what I did. I know that saying I’m sorry isn’t nearly enough, but-”

Billy’s guilty ramble is finally cut off when long fingers cover his mouth, and while the older man stares at Dom in confusion, Dom quickly rises to his feet and straddles Billy, resting on his knees and Billy’s thighs. There’s nowhere for Billy to hide now, and he can’t escape. He’s trapped.

“Now you listen to me, William Boyd,” Dom instructs firmly. “You did not rape me last night.”

At the mere sound of the horrible word, Billy flinches as though he’s been struck, excess moisture filling his tormented eyes again.

“Look at me,” Dom demands, using the hand covering Billy’s lips to hold his head in position. “We need to talk, and I’m going to go first, if that’s all right with you.”

Meekly, Billy nods, and when Dom takes his hand away, the look in his eyes is enough to keep Billy silent.

“This past week,” Dom begins, hands resting on Billy’s shoulders, gently petting the softness of his robe, “I’ve been so confused, and I didn’t understand why you were pulling away from me. At first, I thought maybe I’d done something, that I’d hurt you or upset you. And then I started to think maybe you’d had time to consider things, and that you’d decided that I wasn’t worth all the trouble of us being together.”

“No, I-”

At Dom’s stern look, Billy closes his mouth, gnawing on his lower lip.

“I woke up yesterday morning, in our bed, and I was alone,” Dom states, his voice wavering slightly, and he swallows hard to force it back under control. “I had gone to bed naked the night before, because I was hoping that we’d start the day, my birthday, by making love.”

Stunned at the admission, Billy’s cherubic mouth drops open. It’s the last thing he thought Dom would say, considering that it was the anniversary of a very traumatic day, and the years of pain he’d endured because of it.

“I thought maybe we would have a romantic breakfast together, and then you’d send me off to uni, promising something wonderful when I got home,” Dom reveals, unable to hide the wistful tone. “But that didn’t happen. When I walked into the kitchen, you barely looked at me, didn’t touch me, didn’t kiss me, and all day I wondered what had gone so wrong that you didn’t want me anymore. I couldn’t concentrate. All I could think of was you, and that I was losing you. I was losing the man I love.”

A harsh gust of air rushes out of Billy’s lungs at the painful words, and his eyes are unmistakably sad as he realizes the mistake he made, in trying to give Dom space.

“I spent the afternoon in the library, smelling the books and thinking about you, hoping that it would make me feel better, but it didn’t,” Dom continues after pausing to take a calming breath. “By the time we sat down for dinner, I just couldn’t take it anymore. I had to know. And I had prepared myself for a lot of things, thanks to the scenarios running through my head day and night, but then you said the one thing I didn’t expect. You didn’t know what I wanted you to do. You didn’t know what I needed, because I hadn’t told you.”

Silently, Billy nods, recalling the fight leading up to the kiss that started the chain reaction last night.

“Up until that moment, I felt desperate,” Dom muses aloud. “I had no idea what was going to happen, but I knew that I wanted us to be together. I needed to feel you against me, inside me. So I kissed you, and I kept kissing and touching you until it stopped hurting, and I stopped being afraid that I was going to lose you.”

For the first time, Billy recalls the powerful emotions he felt, and the dampness of their skin when Dom clung to him as they slid down the wall to the floor, his lover’s climax ringing in his ears.

“Last night, you touched me in ways I’ve never even imagined,” Dom admits shyly, a blush darkening his cheeks. “I realized that you still wanted me, to a depth that I didn’t know existed, and I wanted to know it. I wanted all of it, all that you had to give me.” Tilting his head to one side, Dom lifts a hand and moves it over to the V of Billy’s robe, pushing his fingers between the folds of material to expose ginger chest hair and a few inches of pale skin. “Part of me still can’t believe what you’ve managed to do, but it’s slowly sinking in. I was thinking about it last night when you fell asleep on top of me, still inside me.”

“What’s that?” Billy asks in a whisper, gazing up at Dom in wonder.

“You’ve taken the worst moment of my life, that horrible night, when I felt trapped, alone and afraid,” Dom says unsteadily, his eyes bright with unshed tears. “When someone unworthy of my heart stole something precious, and in return, you’ve given me the most incredible gift, one that I will cherish for the rest of my life.”

“And that is?”

“There’s nothing that can be done to erase what happened that night, but it’s up to me on whether or not he gets to own that day for the rest of my life,” Dom explains, blinking to clear his vision and starting to smile, ever so gently. “Last night, you wanted me, and I wanted you. I knew, with absolute certainty, that I’d be safe with you, no matter what. We made love; wild, passionate love, and I watched you, when we were in the hall, and knowing that it was me that had you shaking with need, only made me want you more.”

Wordlessly, Billy lifts his right hand and draws a fingertip along the finger-shaped bruises covering his lover’s wrist. The question is there, on the tip of his tongue, but he can’t force himself say it aloud.

“Yes, you held me down,” Dom admits with a slow nod. “And I waited to be scared, to be terrified, really, and want to pull free, but that moment never came. Until I met you, Bills, I didn’t even like sex, and because of you, that’s all changed.” Drawing in a deep breath, Dom smiles, a wee bit bigger now. “I am not going to let what we have, and what we feel for each other, be defined by the actions of a selfish bastard who took what should only be given in love, because he doesn’t deserve it.”

“Dom-”

“Now, when I think about my birthday, I’ll remember the way we ripped each others clothes off and shagged like rabbits against a wall,” Dom interrupts, his voice husky with lust and passion. “I’ll remember us making love, the way you gave every last inch of yourself to me, body and soul, and fell asleep in my arms. The fact that I got to learn about how wonderful sex can be, from you, the man I love, is a gift that I will always cherish.”

“But Dom,” Billy says, finally finding his voice. “I was too rough, and now you’re all bruised. Your back is covered, I saw it, and I can only imagine how sore you are, considering how I just pounded into-”

Dom’s choked back laugh causes Billy to pause, and arching an eyebrow, he invites Dom to explain.

“Have you seen your neck, Bills?” Dom asks. “I think you’re going to need to wear a turtleneck for a few days, or Mark will wear himself out making vampire jokes. And then there’s your back.”

“What about my back?” Billy queries.

“As I recall, my fingernails made a few passes over the skin in that area,” Dom explains, blushing at the memories of how he’d been overcome and unintentionally marked his lover. “I think if we were to compare injuries, you’d win by a fair margin.”

“But after what happened to you, I never should’ve- I knew better. Our first night together, you said you didn’t want that, because-”

“Bills, I’m not saying that I’ll want us to do that on a regular basis, or even if we’ll be like that ever again,” Dom interjects to soothe and comfort his lover’s concerns. “The fact is, for the very first time, you didn’t hold back with me, and treat me like I was going to break if you kissed me too hard. I’m stronger now. I’m ready.”

“Ready?” Billy repeats. “For what?”

“Despite everything, how incredible things have been between us, I had some doubts that I would be able to have a long term relationship,” Dom confesses, somewhat guiltily. “I kept waiting for something to burst the bubble that was protecting us or that I’d do something to bollocks it up. The mere idea of us having a fight terrified me, because I thought it might lead to us breaking up.”

“Never,” Billy gasps fervently, arching up to press a kiss to Dom’s soft lips. “Never, Dommie.”

Smiling widely, Dom nods, and then grows serious as he gazes deeply into Billy’s eyes. “I know. You’re it, Bills. You’re the one. The only one I’m ever going to love like this. I have faith that we’ll be together for the rest of our lives, but if for some reason we aren’t, I’ll always remember the amazing way you loved me.”

Breath catching as his eyes glisten, Billy watches Dom lower his head, and then their mouths are meeting in lazy, luxurious kisses, lips slowly parting so tongues can touch, shyly at first, and then slide together. Dom snuggles closer, long fingers sliding through Billy’s tousled hair, a whimpering sigh of pleasure escaping when Billy’s hands tentatively slip around his waist to caress his lean back. Rocking his hips forward as hot breath tickles Billy’s scruffy cheek, Dom wraps his arms around Billy’s shoulders, clutching handfuls of material to pull their bodies closer together.

“Touch me,” Dom murmurs against Billy’s wet mouth, tracing the bow-shaped curve of Billy’s upper lip with the tip of his tongue. “Please, baby.”

“Baby?” Billy repeats, a bemused smile gracing his lips as he tips his head to one side and playfully rubs their noses together. “You’ve called me that once before.”

“Shouldn’t lovers have names for each other when they’re naked?” Dom asks through half-lidded eyes. “And about to make love.”

“Dommie-”

“If you don’t want to, it’s okay,” Dom adds quietly. “Maybe you can hold me for a while, and we can keep kissing?”

“You really want to?” Billy inquires, glancing down and eyes widening with surprise when he discovers that Dom is clearly aroused. “Aren’t you sore?”

“Some muscles ache a little,” Dom admits. “But in a well-loved sort of way.” Shifting back and rising to stand, Dom takes Billy’s hands in his and tugs gently. “Come back to bed. You’re in that robe, but I’m getting cold out here, being starkers and all.”

Letting his hungry gaze roam of the display of bare skin and beauty before him, Billy’s heartbeat quickens as desire flows through him. Powerless to resist, Billy stands up and follows his lover over to the bed, watching as Dom peels away his robe to reveal the nudity beneath, and he gasps when their bare bodies are drawn together.

“Do you want me?” Dom teases in a low, seductive voice.

In silent response, Billy cuddles Dom close before pulling back the coverlet and sheet with one hand, and guides the two of them onto the mattress. Face to face and limbs entwined, Billy cradles Dom’s lithe body against his, murmuring his enjoyment as their lips meet and part in slow, achingly gentle kisses. Unlike last night, the pace is relaxed and unhurried, each discovery of pleasure extended out as long as possible, the lovers wanting everything to last, never wanting it to end. Tenderly guiding Dom onto his back, Billy curls into his side and dips his head, bringing his bow-shaped lips to the soft skin of his lover’s throat, covering the area with sweet, butterfly kisses, smiling when Dom mewls and tips his head back, inviting more.

“Happy Birthday, Dommie,” Billy whispers against moist skin. “I have a present for you.”

“You do?”

“Aye,” Billy confirms as he pulls back, just far enough so their eyes can meet. “Pick a number between one and fifty.”

“What?” Confused, Dom’s brow furrows. “Why?”

“Just pick,” Billy repeats, refusing to divulge why.

Taking a moment to consider the options, Dom finally says, “Forty-nine.”

Billy’s deep green eyes sparkle with promise, and then he’s sliding down Dom’s lithe body until he’s cupping Dom’s bare hips in his small hands and breathing warm air across his lover’s flat stomach. For a long moment he gazes at the soft skin, almost reverently, and just when Dom starts to open his mouth to ask what he’s doing, Billy lowers his ginger head. The tip of Billy’s pointy tongue repeatedly traces the sensitive circle of Dom’s belly button ever so slowly before delving in deeper, and when he fastens his lips to the tender skin and begins sucking in a lazy, sensual rhythm, Dom can’t hold back the rippling sigh of pleasure.

Giving himself over to the erotic sensations washing over him, stealing his coherency, Dom tucks his toes in close to Billy’s body and slides his long fingers through his lover’s hair. Head rolled to one side as he watches the older man, Dom’s limbs are the consistency of melted wax by the time Billy finally breaks the intimate contact and looks up, his lips rosy and glistening.

“Bills,” Dom murmurs tenderly, his eyes dark and soft.

“That takes care of one,” Billy says with an intimate smile.

“One what?”

“Parts of your beautiful body that I love to touch,” Billy explains, sliding up the mattress and giving the younger man an affectionate squeeze when Dom blushes. “And if you don’t mind, I’ve got forty-eight more selections to make.”

“Now?” Dom squeaks in surprise.

Cupping Dom’s cheek, Billy nods slowly. “Absolutely.”

After Dom gently tugs the older man closer, inviting his touch, Billy slips his hands under Dom’s lithe torso before lowering his head and drawing a pert nipple between his lips. Whimpering at the sensation, Dom arches his back into an obscene bow, and surrenders.

Over two hours pass amid sensuous caresses and shared, intimate pleasure before Dom finally throws back his head and sobs out the body shuddering orgasm that he and Billy share as a result of their exquisite lovemaking. Utterly spent, Dom is sprawled limply on the rumpled sheets with Billy above him, their bodies intimately locked, when Billy tucks his small nose into the side of his neck and places a warm, lingering kiss to the sensitive spot just under his earlobe.

“And that makes forty-nine,” he whispers.

“Oh God, Bills,” Dom murmurs, smiling drowsily and tightening his arms around his lover to hold him close. “That was incredible.”

“I’m just glad you didn’t pick a small number, like three,” Billy teases.

Dom giggles. “Me too.”

“You’re going to be late for your class this morning,” Billy says regretfully. “Aren’t you?”

“No.”

“But it’s Thursday,” Billy adds, brow furrowing as he thinks. “Don’t you have-”

“I’m taking the day off,” Dom interrupts to explain. “I wasn’t sure how I was going to feel today, so I made arrangements last week to take a personal day. I’ve got my session with Dr. Tyler this afternoon, but that’s it.”

“Oh.”

“Don’t you need to get up?” Dom says after turning his head to glance at the clock on the night stand. “The shop won’t open itself.”

“Mark’s due in at ten,” Billy tells him mildly. “He can take care of things for a few hours.”

“Yeah?” A hopeful smile turns up the corners of Dom’s mouth, his eyes sparkling.

“I don’t know about you, but I’m starving,” Billy adds, returning Dom’s smile before kissing the tip of his nose. “Would you like some pancakes for breakfast, Dommie?”

“With strawberries?” Dom requests, his gaze beginning to smolder. “And whipped cream?”

“Aye, we can do that.”

“Served in bed,” Dom adds. “Naked.”

Breaking out into a wide grin, Billy nods in agreement before tenderly rocking his hips forward, watching the rush of pleasure wash over Dom’s relaxed and sated features. “You always have the best ideas, love.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Dom has just stepped into the waiting room and started to unzip his puffy winter coat when the inner door swings open, and Dr. Tyler appears.

“There you are,” she says warmly.

“Am I late?” he asks, glancing around in search of a clock. “Sorry.”

“No, I was just listening for you,” the therapist explains. “C’mon in.”

Following her into the cozy office, Dom removes his coat, scarf and gloves before turning and settling into the corner of the couch. He’s leaning back and sinking into the softness when Dr. Tyler gasps.

“What happened to you?” she inquires, large blue eyes wide with alarm. “Your neck.”

Blushing, Dom dips his head to hide his smile and the heat is his expressive eyes as he recalls how he and Billy spent the morning.

“It’s all right,” Dom says when he looks up a few moments later. “Billy and I had a fight.”

“A fight? He was violent towards you?”

Although Dr. Tyler tries to remain calm, Dom’s behavior is doing little to ease her concerns or comfort her.

“No, this wasn’t from the fight,” Dom explains, tracing the rosy bruises with the tip of his long fingers. “This happened after, when we were making up.”

Realization sinks in, and the therapist’s lips form a perfect O before she covers her mouth with her hand. Watching her reaction, Dom’s blush returns, and he smiles shyly.

“Does that shock you?” he asks quietly, blue-grey eyes focused intently on Dr. Tyler’s face. “Or worse?”

“No,” she replies, shaking her head and leaning back in her chair. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“You mean, am I all right?” Dom says knowingly, arxching an eyebrow at her. “Considering everything I’ve told you, about me, about Billy, about us. I can see why you’d have concerns about how I’d be feeling right now.”

“Yes, that’s what I mean,” Dr. Tyler admits. “In all of our conversations, you’ve always described Billy as a very gentle and tender lover.”

“He is,” Dom replies softly. “I left his arms and got out of our bed this afternoon to come here.”

“Do I get to hear this story from the beginning?” Dr. Tyler asks, smiling at the unmistakable intimacy in Dom’s expression.

Silently, Dom nods, and pushes up the sleeves of his Man U jumper, exposing the bruises on his forearms before shifting into a more comfortable position. “It started a week ago,” he begins, “when Billy started pulling away from me.”

Looking back over the seven days with new understanding, now fully aware of Billy’s troubled thoughts during that time, Dom lays out the details in chain of events that lead up to the argument in the kitchen.

“You actually yelled at him?” the therapist asks in surprise. “Threw the glass across the room?”

“Yeah,” Dom replies, almost embarrassed. “I was hurt and angry, and I wanted to know what I had done.”

“I can see why you’d feel that way.”

“I wasn’t going to let him go without a fight,” Dom adds softly. “I deserve better than that.”

Dr. Tyler smiles. “Yes, you do.”

“When I first started kissing him, I was scared that he wouldn’t kiss me back,” Dom confesses. “And then he did, and I held on to him, never wanting to let him go.” Drawing in a deep breath, Dom smiles with contentment. “I’ve never felt like that, never made love like that, and when it was over, I held him, and felt-”

“What?” the therapist asks quietly when Dom trails off.

“Deep down, I always assumed that Billy loved me in spite of the fact that I was raped,” Dom explains, brow furrowed as he struggles to find the right words. “He’s been warm and loving and kind, but always so careful. Now don’t get me wrong, there was a time when I needed that, but now I don’t. I’m not the frail boy I used to be, afraid of my own shadow.”

“No, you’re not.”

“Last night I realized that Billy’s love for me has no conditions or exceptions to it,” Dom adds, fingernails scratching absently at his scruffy cheek. “Raped, a runaway, and then selling my body for all that time. He accepts everything I’ve done, and he loves me. It’s that simple. He’s gorgeous and funny, he’s caring and gentle, and he’s got the sexiest voice I’ve ever heard in my life. He could have anyone he wants, and he wants me,” Dom finishes with a happy sigh. “Just like I want him.”

“He’s a good man,” Dr. Tyler comments softly. “And so are you.”

“Last night was incredible, and so intense,” Dom says. “I wondered what sex would be like after that.”

“And?”

“There was a barrier before, one that I had up, because I had doubts that we’d be long term,” Dom replies. “And Billy had one up as well, because he was afraid of doing something that would remind me of the past. We’d gotten so used to them being there, we forgot to work on taking them down, one piece at a time.”

“And now?”

“They’re gone,” Dom reports with a joyful smile. “We’re going to be together for a very long time, Bills and I, and we’ll love each other until our last breath.”

“That’s quite a night you had,” Dr. Tyler says. “Both of you. And the week leading up to it.”

“Yeah, they were some of the most difficult days of my life, but looking back now, it was so worth it,” Dom murmurs, head tilting to one side as he quietly sighs with contentment.

Setting her note pad aside, Dr. Tyler laces her fingers together and rests them in her lap as a gentle smile turns up the corners of her mouth, lighting up her features. “The best things in life usually are.”

~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~

Chapter 22