Forgive Me

[dylan-dufresne.livejournal.com]

Title: Forgive Me - 2/8
Author: dylan_dufresne
Pairing: BB/DM
Rating: PG, I guess.
Feedback: Would be greatly appreciated as it’s my drug of choice. Thanks to frojane for the beta and encouragement.
Disclaimer: Not at all true in reality.
Warning: Angst in this part.
Previous (unrelated) Part: 1-Fight

2 - Ending

After the long, intense months of shooting, the wonderful, passionate nights and rare days off, lost in each others arms, laughing and loving, it’s suddenly over. The magical time they’ve had together in New Zealand is coming to an end. Not because Dom wants it to, but because Billy says it’s for the best. Their lives are going in two very different directions, on opposite sides of the world. Billy is returning to Glasgow and the theatre, and Dom is moving to Hollywood. When Dom gently makes the suggestion of trying to continue their relationship long-distance, Billy merely shakes his head.

Better to end things now, and remain friends, best mates, Billy insists, rather than risk it and lose. No matter what happens in the future, they’ll always have New Zealand, where they found each other, and shared something extraordinary. Billy knows that Dom doesn’t agree with him, but that he reluctantly accepts Billy’s decision, fighting back the excess moisture in his deep, blue-grey eyes and hiding his soul-crushing heartbreak as best he can. Incredibly, Dom is able to stay in control of his emotions until Billy goes back to his flat to pack, and only then does he dissolve into tears.

Several days later, Dom insists on taking Billy to the airport in Wellington, to say goodbye. They make all the usual promises about staying in touch, with phone calls and email. Of course, it won’t be long until they start promoting Fellowship, so they’ll be seeing each other again very soon. Continuing the light conversation, both pretending for the sake of the other that everything is fine, the men plaster on smiles as fake as their hobbit feet and attempt to maintain a brave face. Finally, Billy needs to go, as his flight will be leaving soon. Eighteen months in New Zealand, and suddenly it’s come to an end. Their time is up.

A short distance from the security checkpoint, Billy sets his carryon bag at his feet and pulls Dom close for a tight, lingering hug. The urge to take all the words back and beg Dom not to move to America is enormous, but Billy closes his eyes until he pulls his emotions back under control. He can’t be the reason Dom doesn’t follow his dreams. When they part, Billy can’t help reaching out to caress Dom’s lightly stubbled cheek, their eyes meeting and locking. It’s then that Dom starts to shake, just a wee bit at first, and then more violently, his body betraying how overwhelming the pain is for him. Eyes suspiciously bright as they step back, Dom blinks rapidly, refusing to let his tears fall.

Any chance for further conversation is interrupted when the loudspeaker above announces first call for Billy’s flight home. Too distraught to speak, Dom tries to smile, waving weakly as Billy passes through security. As the salty tears begin to roll down Dom’s cheeks, he turns and walks away, his slender shoulders visibly shaking. Hiding his eyes behind sunglasses, Dom concentrates on putting one foot in front of the other as his vision swims. It’s taking everything in him to keep walking, when all he wants to do is turn and run, fall to his knees and beg Billy to change his mind.

His own heart breaking, Billy watches Dom’s retreating form until he disappears around the corner and out of sight. Hating himself for hurting his beloved, sweet Dommie, Billy can only whisper his regret with glistening eyes, knowing he’s the only one who can hear it.

“Forgive me.”

* ^ * ^ * ^ * ^ *

3-Accident

OR

A follow up to Ending can be found here. 10-Hurt