Untitled

[http://users.livejournal.com/___stealmyheart/]

Title: Untitled
Rating: PG-13 (I used the eff word...hehe)
Author: clockworkhobbit / Corky (formerly known as agentcorky
Disclaimer: As true as Billy's bum!virginity.
Notes: Um...it's supposed to be set at the beginning of filming LOTR. This is for my bestest friend of all friends who are about to be 18, mjjgoddess. I'm giving her the one written (illegibly) in Sharpie all over my notebook. This is just a transcription of sorts...I guess. I'll stop now.



Well...Once there was a litte boy named Dom. He was 22 years old. His full name was really Dominic Bernard Patrick Luke Monaghan. Dom had a penis. He called it Weasel.

One day, Dom was walking along in New Zealand, where he was filming THE LORD OF THE RINGS with TONS of other men. Dom tried to make it a point that he wasn't interested in men, but everyone could tell it was a like. All they had to do was take a gander at Weasel, who was often trying to escape from Dom's trousers. They never told Dom that they knew his secret, though, because they'd seen how emotional Dom could get. But this day was special, because this was the day that Dom met Billy.

Billy was also a little boy who was 30 years old. Billy's full name was William Boyd, and he was named after his father. Billy also had a penis, but he called it Nesseh.

So this one day, Dom and Billy met. They happened to be in a trailer where the entire cast was getting fitted for their costumes. As soon as they saw each other, they blushed and had to look away, concentrating on thoughts of John Rhys-Davies taking cold showers. Both Weasel and Nesseh were unhappy about this.

Later on, Dom decided to listen to Weasel and ask Billy out on a date. And this was also because Weasel was always right and always got what he wanted. Dom soon found Billy getting into his car, so he marched right up to him and put his hand on the car door, keeping it shut.

"What's that about, Dom?" Billy asked.

"I, um...I wanted to tell you that I find you rather fetching and I'd like to buy you a drink and later take your bum's virginity in the most pleasing and complicated of ways..." Dom blurted, all in one breath.

Billy slowly blinked once. twice. three times. "So, you're asking me on a date?"

"Yes..."

"Why?"

"Because I like penises...I mean, you."

"Well I like penises...I mean, you, too."

Dom sighed. "I was hoping you would say that," he admitted with a grin.

"Good. So...how about we skip the drinks? My place or yours?" Billy asked, toying with the buttons on Dom's shirt.

"How about in the back seat of this car?" Weasel practically jumped for joy at hearing Dom's new tone of voice. He sounded particularly growly, and that could only mean one thing...

Soon Dom and Billy were in the back seat, abd Dom was fucking Billy so hard that both he and Nesseh could see stars. Many hours and orgasms later, Billy and Nesseh gladly returned the favor to Dom and Weasel.

-End-